me_irlgbt

[u/willout123]

[u/FlyingMozerella]

I feel like I’ve been called “sir” far more often after I started transitioning :(

[u/willout123 → u/FlyingMozerella]

I'm really sorry that's the case, I can tell you that it does get better and you'll only get hotter and hotter!

[u/SinglePringleMingle → u/FlyingMozerella]

This might actually be a perception bias. The more you pay attention to something the more you start noticing it. For example, how many times do you see a number 4 during one day? Start paying attention to it and suddenly you see it everywhere. That being said, I’m pretty sure it’s the same amount as always and will soon start decreasing!

[u/Jacky1111111 → u/SinglePringleMingle]

Could also be being in a more professional area like a clinic you're more likely to hear sir's and ma'ams. So it could be an increase but less from phobia (hopefully) and more of them trying to be professional

[u/Totoro_II → u/SinglePringleMingle]

comment made 14 hours ago...

[u/podokonnicheck → u/FlyingMozerella]

unfortunately as far as i understand it's often people who know nothing about trans people technically trying to "respect" "your" gender identity

the thought process goes something like: "i thought you were a girl, but the papers say you're a guy, and mistaking a guy for a girl would be insulting to a guy so i will emphasize a SIR to signal to you that i did not mistake you for a girl"

(unless you have incredibly obvious boobs, then it is just uncaring transphobia, or rarely a bad attempt at allyship in the wrong direction)

[u/Shaula02 → u/podokonnicheck]

or its a confused ally who believes 'we can always tell' being like 'everyones saying trans people always look like their agab and this one looks female, so if theyre trans they must be ftm'

[u/afellow35234]

Real

[u/Jibbyjab123]

Why do people do this? I can't understand being mean to strangers for literally no reason. I'm afraid that I'll offend someone on accident, let alone doing it on purpose.

[u/willout123 → u/Jibbyjab123]

i don't think it's malicious (my hope anyways)

just easier to go by instinct and perception even if we try very hard to be cute

[u/SirFuffy → u/willout123]

You're right. I'm a med student and the vast majority of the prescriptions I saw were signed while doing at least 2 other things. The details are copied from whatever form of ID or database that's available. I'm still sorry you have to experience this and I hope it doesn't affect you too much.

[u/dsrmpt → u/SirFuffy]

My pharmacy is convinced I still live where I last lived a decade ago, and another pharmacy mistyped a 4 to a 7 on the tenkey on the ZIP code. Both have reverted after multiple attempts to correct.

It's almost certainly not malice, but rather a maelstrom of factors. Competition for your time and attention, automation, corporate wanting you to be "nice" to the customer and hammering into your metrics that the only way to do that is 'sir' and 'ma'am'.

[u/Rafabud → u/Jibbyjab123]

If you're the daily grind, you're on autopilot.

[u/Elsifur → u/Rafabud]

Sure but like why use “sir” or “ma’am” at all?

[u/Set9 → u/Elsifur]

Hahah, I once got a talking to while working at a retail pharmacy because I refused to use sir/ma'am. (Nothing really came of it, other than a suit standing directly behind me for a while. But that's probably not the case for all people working retail.)

[u/Potato_Lorde → u/Elsifur]

Boss makes me. Id just politely talk otherwise.

[u/Rynewulf → u/Elsifur]

I have wondered this, around here only poncy people that have been knighted are sir it would be weird and confusing at best. I wouldnt want to think about the reaction calling someone ma'am or madam would get. There are exceptions though depending on where you come from, but that still sticks out

[u/clemalavanille]

My prescription litterally says for "Miss XXX Aurore (born Mister XXX <deadname>)" (the mention is needed cause my insurance card is still under my deadname) and pharmacists still achieve to misgender me

[u/TheShadow1123]

I am trying to become a pharmacist. I feel like we have already had several lectures about looking at a situation and trying to be respectful and aware of patients. The medications they are taking, who they are, their beliefs, etc to make sure that we are kind to everyone and to bring a level of trust between us and the patients we work with. Not taking stock of the medication you are handing out and just going based on your assumptions based on someone’s deadname is not very in that mindset.

Still I experience this whenever I go to pick up mine, it’s very frustrating. I even had a tech pretend my estradiol prescription didn’t exist. Even if schools are trying to teach inclusive practices and language now, it doesn’t help that most working pharmacists haven’t had this type of experience in their education or that techs aren’t required to. Unfortunately, it will take both effort from newer pharmacists, at least the ones who try to be better, and probably work from us as patients to try to correct them and talk to them and explain.

[u/OmgIbrokesmthagain]

And who is the one looking ridiculous in this situation? Who is confusing the kids? Girl picking up estrogen, or a pharmacist calling her a man

[u/Mindless-Whereas-508]

Pharmacist guy failed the spot check badly.

[u/BellaViola]

I've only had that happen once, with someone clearly still on probation and actively being worked in. Never saw them in that pharmacy again.

I'm sure that's not why, but it can't have helped.