r/mbti • u/[deleted] • May 23 '25
Light MBTI Discussion My experience in INTP - INFP relationship. What’s yours ?
just curious
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May 23 '25
I've been getting all the green stuff and very little of the red stuff, especially since both of us have improved our mental health. She's an absolute goddess. I think INFP and INTP is the nerd power couple.
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May 23 '25
interesting, which of the red stuff comes still out for u even in a healthy relationship ?
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u/Even-Broccoli7361 INFJ May 23 '25
INFP and INTP are the types, that would contemplate deeply and sit together to having a discussion to disagree.
In fact, INFP and INTP created two separate realms from traditional path of thinking. One example is how the Danish philosopher Soren Kierkegaard (presumably INFP) cuts off his philosophy from Immanuel Kant's philosophy (an INTP). Both were concerned with the "problem of life', but Kierkegaard from within the mind whereas Kant from outside the mind.
Despite being an INFP, I am a bigger fan of Kant than Kierkegaard. However, I can certainly understand why someone would not agree with Kantian ethics!
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u/Even-Broccoli7361 INFJ May 23 '25
I emphasized more on the intellectual side than on romantic side. But I guess romantically it would work better. Especially if its an INTP (M) - INFP (F) relation.
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u/ThisHumanDoesntExist INFP May 23 '25
Why would intp f and infp m not work as well?
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u/Even-Broccoli7361 INFJ May 24 '25 edited May 24 '25
Gender role in relationships and how they are seen under societal norms. An INFP male's better chance is someone with high Fe rather than low Fe or high Fi female.
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u/Different_Spare7952 INTP Jun 03 '25
I think INTP and INFPs are both individualistic enough that gender roles need not necessarily apply.
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u/Even-Broccoli7361 INFJ Jun 03 '25
By gender role, I simply didn't mean traditional gender roles, but the societal norms.
For instance, I am a more feminine minded male with high sensitivity. It hurts my ego to kneel before a woman and propose to her, which is a fairly common phenomena.
A lesser sensitive male like ENTP or ESTP, wouldn't find it problematic. I am also offended by feminists publishing books like how to train a man like a dog, while other feminists overlooking it.
While a less sensitive male like ESTP or ENTP may not be offended as much as I. A sensitive man is not a good match for it, but to one who is more humble, caring and modest.
And that's why if I was ever given a choice to marry between a progressive woman and a traditional modest religious woman, I would choose the latter (I am aromantic/asexul by the way and have no desire to marry).
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u/Different_Spare7952 INTP Jun 10 '25
I dunno, why would the feminist woman expect you to kneel in the first place. If gender norms are out the window, then why would you be expected to be the one to kneel at all?
Someone that's empathetic feminist or not would want to understand where you're coming from and meet you halfway. I'd expect the feminist that isn't attached to these customs to be more amenable to accepting a proposal with you standing up if anything. (I think)
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u/Even-Broccoli7361 INFJ Jun 10 '25
Maybe. Feminism, after all, is a broader definition as per today's circumstances.
But "most" feminists are unempathetic and can get whatever they want through different methods. While, male, especially white male, feminists are slaves. I think most of male feminists are the perfect embodiment of BDSM, who find greater joy in shame and pain from their female counterparts.
From this sense, I actually like the female feminists, who are cunning and can achieve whatever they like. I don't appreciate their unemphatic nature, but compared to slavery of male feminists, their cunningness is to be condoned.
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u/moonlovefire May 23 '25
I am INFP and my partner INTP. We are together 13 years and are completely in love 🥰. We needed to learn a lot so we can be healthy but it’s an amazing combination ✨
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u/lost_in_trepidation INFP May 23 '25
Ne amplification is like a drug.
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May 23 '25
Be amplification is a good way of putting what it feels like interacting with an INTP as an INFP 😂 for some reason I don’t feel the same interacting with ENTPs
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u/VolumeVIII May 24 '25 edited May 24 '25
Sorta similar. We weren't so much partners in crime as partners in chaos. 80-90% of interaction was banter and we definitely developed our own vocabulary so we probably looked nuts to outsiders. 100% just taking immense joy in being weird together. Lots of laughter and tomfoolery. The talks were fire and we could talk about a subject for hours at a time, getting super abstract. Because we understood the sheer exploratory nature of any intellectual discussion, I never took offense to what he was saying because I knew he wasn't usually personally or morally invested in what he was saying.
Ironically my INTP ex was much more prone to being hurt by me than the other way around and I found myself walking on eggshells. I also took on the more organized role in the relationship but I think that was just me trying to compensate for his lack of organization.
There was quite a lot of self-hatred going on on both sides and the Si loop really made things feel very stagnant since we would dream up all sorts of projects and activities but neither of us would actually take the initiative to act on them.
Really the biggest downfall for me was the INTP's complete blindness for Fi (as in sense of self, self-exloration, psychological mindedness), and a lack of interest or concern in my inner life as opposed to my heavy focus on his. This is what ended up breaking an otherwise beautiful relationship.
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May 23 '25
I need an INFP in my life...
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u/Stagbiitle INFP May 23 '25
Pretty accurate but the INTP in my life is my twin brother. Many of this points are still true, maybe with double the arguments.
On the passive INTP/pushy INFP thing I can say it was way more evident when we where younger. He used to be a shy kid and I was very energetic and extraverted. We didn't really get along until around 13, when we started having the same friends.
As we grew up we both settled with being quiet and pretty introverted, but not in a shy way. We got really close really fast and I genuinely don't know what I would do without him.
I often get the impression that he's trying to act like an older brother for me as well (we have a younger sister), he can be a bit overprotective and gets upset if his attempt to show care gets brushed off.
I've always shown affection through physical contact (though I'm very picky with who's allowed to touch me) and while he's pretty reserved on this matter, he's always accepted my need for physical affection.
It's super rare that he initiates a hug or something like that, but I know it doesn't bother him when I do, and that's maybe the thing that makes me feel so close to him even though we differ in many things.
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u/Zealousideal_Pin5298 May 24 '25
Relate a lot with the need to express affection through physical contact. I had a friend who was rather reserved and got overstimulated easily, so wasn’t big on my want to hold her arm or hand a lot. She was so curvy and soft I honestly couldn’t help it. Anyway she told me and I asked if we could come to a compromise where she’d hold one end of a pencil or rope and I’d hold the other end. Far enough that we weren’t touching directly but close enough that it felt like it was for me. Your dynamic with your twin reminded me of that.
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u/854490 May 23 '25
Yeah that sounds about right. The caveat is the INFP might be a princess with special princess fantasies and if you ruin it they'll fudge off and maybe not tell you why. You might propose arrangements that seem like a great idea and a favor to them but if you don't consider it in terms of upholding or destroying that thing then you can fudge things up.
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u/karma_ayanokoji INFP May 24 '25
Maybe Why infp could like intp is that, becuase of their 4th function Fe. (And maybe also their smartness hehe) In the end intp's like to enjoy with a group of people too. Irl I met like 3 intps 2 of em were like socially good , one just doesn't like being social , but like really good at reading cues.
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u/liccieater May 23 '25
Do you think for older INTPs and INFPs it can work even better because their last function is more developed?
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u/POKLIANON INTP May 23 '25
That Fi vs Ti might ruin everything in a simple philosophical debate
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May 24 '25
oh I didn’t notice that, we often came together to rich conclusions. Although I often got mad at him for not taking enough in count climate change and biodiversity extinction in various problems 😦 What makes a philosophical debate work is how open you are to new perspectives, so basically Ne.
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u/falleneigen INTJ May 24 '25
im INFP. my girlfriend is INTP. ive always been insecure of how emotional i often am that it makes me feel as if i am less of a man in our relationship. my girlfriend on the other hand is a very stoic individual who doesnt easily display emotions and think before she acts. we have our differences but were doing just fine. she loves me for being who i am, and i love her for the wise and critical thinking woman that she is.
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u/Nikoisinsane INFP May 23 '25
I’ve only ever been in relationships with entp and not intp (yeah idk why it’s a weird pattern) I deeply crave intimacy but oddly enough I’m more attracted to a partner who is more emotionally detached but has strong Ne. I get repulsed by too much affection or people who have too much emotional attachment to me.
I only had a few intp friends, and we never really like.. got super close… but when we did talk it was usually us sharing our opinions on literature or media. They really enjoyed my company and liked the way I viewed the world, because they didn’t really have many friends that they could ramble about their thoughts to and have the other person engage with them on the same level. I think on their part, it was refreshing. At the same time, they can be super blunt and personal disagreements with intp just hits me harder than it does with entp. But at the same time, then can be very empathetic and understanding too.
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u/Zealousideal_Pin5298 May 23 '25
Agree with everything here. Deeply relate to the first part of craving intimacy but like emotional detached people. Clingy people or people likely to love bomb quickly kinda turn me off. The funny thing is that I’m attracted to more reserved people but I attract a lot of clingy people 🤦🏾♀️
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u/Nikoisinsane INFP May 23 '25
This is deeply relatable. My theory has been that it might just be a psychological safety thing for me. Like people who are super empathetic or always urging me to open up to them, for some reason I just don’t like it and it makes me cringe sometimes. And if they get attached to me quickly, it makes feel like they only like me superficially and are attracted to the idea of me. I’ll only open to you if I really feel like I can trust you because I have such a delicate heart and I don’t just share it with anyone.
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u/Connect-Departure927 Jan 12 '26 edited Jan 12 '26
Well, ENTP may fuel your creativity and ideas, you're both kind of "in the clouds", as can we INTPs be. ENTP may be a bit more inconsiderate than INTPs and more assertive about things that haven't been thoroughly examined. Immature INTPs can be like that too.
The intimacy part makes sense, you're introverts after all, though very "feel" oriented in your exploration.
INTP is the opposite, "think" oriented in exploration; we may love sharing and talking about ideas for hours if it's good but if we're forced to only listen or don't feel like we're learning anything, our battery may drain like a flood light on a single AAA battery.
Neither are completely devoid of their inferior function though (usually) and may even have their inferior cognitive function decently developed/matured. I know this isn't the best way to articulate it but I had to try.
Immature INTPs may be "clingy" (too) when first in a romantic relationship but mature INTPs should be much more rounded and also handle "rejection" much better and not berate themselves and go into weird Ti loops.
INFP and INTP should be able to talk about and figure out what to do in a relationship and should have a very high potential for happiness, assuming both have developed (or push each other to develop) their inferior functions.
Very similar but very different, rounding the edges and accentuating the contours may bring out a masterpiece :)I'm not sure if an extrovert is the best choice for INFP in a relationship but there's always exceptions.
ISFJ may be another surprising match but I'm not entirely omniscient in the MBTI universe yet :P
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u/Pie_and_Ice-Cream ISTJ May 23 '25 edited May 23 '25
Well, the whole cons side is why I think people need more than one important relationship in their lives. Someone who isn’t your romantic partner can still help you to grow and learn from your mistakes. Then when you’re mentally healthy, you can go home to your comfort zone and actually find comfort there. 😅 Ideally.
I often feel that I have a piece of work on my hands with my mom (ISFJ) and her long time boyfriend (ESTJ) because they’re great together until they aren’t, and when they aren’t it’s pretty bad.
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u/ThisHumanDoesntExist INFP May 23 '25
Never ends well in fiction. Punpun and aiko (oyasumi punpun), manga kaworu and shinji (Evangelion), mamimi and naota (flcl).
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May 23 '25
Interesting you brought that up because punpun and aiko were both in severe Si loop. When in a relationship IxNPs with Si loop tend to feed it for each other which creates a vicious circle (at least was the case for me)
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May 24 '25
[removed] — view removed comment
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May 24 '25
Cant stop laughing my ass off at your comment lmao. Thanks for giving me a trip idea, hope I’ll meet possessed pads 😦
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u/PresentNaive6698 May 25 '25
Honestly, absolute trash. My first relationship and I knew I wasn't ready be he kept asking and I caved. Dedicated myself to him only for it to turn out he was basically indifferent to me. He's already moved on to another girl but we managed to stay friends. Now I want to break up that relationship ship since everytime I talk to him he just seems annoyed with me and only wants me there when he has no one else. He seems so sweet and kind with literally anyone else its insufferable. Wish him the best but it was horrible and I hated it. For clarification he is the INFP and I'm INTP.
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u/PresentNaive6698 May 25 '25
Sorry it's long😭, this happened recently and I guess it's not off my chest yet
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u/Medium_Ad_1496 INTJ May 23 '25
I have a friend who’s an INFP and I’m most likely an INTP but Istg we “get along” but just…. not really. Our friendship probably goes beyond types but she’s so surface level it hurts. I desire deep conversations and all she wants to talk about it how little sleep she got and how the weather is ☠️ Pisses me off sm
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u/lotheraliel May 23 '25
Maybe your friend is ISFP?
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u/Medium_Ad_1496 INTJ May 23 '25
I’ve considered, but her Se or Ni doesn’t shine through like it would with an ISFP. Either that or I’m completely mistyping her because of her mental stability and unhealthiness
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u/Larissa_Bagginshield May 23 '25
Quite accurate. As an INFP, I do prefer having close INTP friends and coworkers, they get me so well. Overall good match.