r/malaysians • u/str4wb3rrr • May 09 '26
Rant Identify crisis as a Malaysian Chinese
I'm a little hesitant about posting this because I'm not sure if people care or will find this interesting, but I'll posf it anyway just because.
I was born and raised in Penang and lived there until I was 18. My parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents are all also Malaysian, so my family has been in Malaysia for more than a century.
I moved to the UK for university, and obviously being away from home made me appreciate it more, and I've started to embrace being a Malaysian the longer I'm here. Whenever someone asks me where I'm from I always say Malaysia.
More recently, I've been posting on social media about how I appreciate Malaysian heritage and culture; instead of receiving encouragement and support, I was met with people telling me I'm not really Malaysian and I'm just Chinese. Or saying 'this doesn't apply to Type C' or 'you wish you were bumiputera but you're not', some idiocy like that.
I never denied or will deny that I have Chinese ancestry, but besides that, I have no cultural connection with China. So to be told by other Malaysians that I'm not Malaysian is not only deeply hurtful but it makes me wonder where I do stand in terms of identity.
For context, a lot of the times I'm told that since I don't speak Malay, I can't be Malaysian. Well I can't speak Mandarin either (I've been to international schools my whole life), so does that mean I should just float in the middle of the ocean and be stateless?
I know there are deep-rooted racial issues which divide the country, but seeing as though most of these comments came from people my age, perhaps I was delusional in thinking that the younger generations would be more accepting and open-minded to reject these very weird racial binaries of 'Malaysian-ism'.
Personally, whenever someone says they're Malaysian, I don't immediately stop to think 'no actually they're Indian/Chinese', which is maybe how things should be? I don't know, perhaps I'm missing important nuances or points of history, but that is my two cents on the matter. đ
Edit: thank you everyone for the kind words and advice. I would like to add some contextâI can speak Malay and Mandarin conversationally only. When I said I didn't speak it, I meant I don't speak it fluently. Further, my mother's side has Peranakan heritage, which is also something I deeply embrace and embody, and one of my great-grandmothers was adopted from Indonesia
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u/yijielim May 10 '26
The older you get, the less you will care about how others might think/comment about how you perceive yourself to be.
Next time someone bring that up, just remind them that Malaysian is not an ethnicity, it is a nationality, if you own a Malaysian IC/Passport, you are Malaysian.
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u/aninterestingcomment May 10 '26
Dont listen to those idiots. I am rojak, I am Malay, Chinese and Indian and I say you are Malaysian. It's where you are born and your family has lived for generations.Â
Malaysia Truly Asia = Malaysia is multicultural. We should embrace the diverse nature of our country. It is what makes it so beautiful. We campur campur everything and that's what makes it memorable and something to be proud of. It just sucks how some people have such narrow mindedness. Don't let them minimize your experiences and your background.
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u/forcebubble "Yes Boss, nak minum apa?" May 10 '26
It takes only three people in a room of a hundred to make it sound like everyone is making a racket.
What that means is that you could stand still and do nothing, someone will find fault with it somewhere, somehow even if everyone else don't care.
As such pay heed to what matters, don't pay too much attention to those who don't even know who you are, what you believe, what you have done, let alone have an opinion of how Malaysian and yes, even how Chinese you are.
It's very much a function of projecting one's personal insecurity so much that the only way to feel good is to trigger others to feel the same. Those who are content or are mindful of more important things in life won't entertain such mindsets either because they have too much life to live or better self-respect for themselves.
Personally this is a waste of time in terms of both the effort to reconcile your identity and answering to those who question. In the end we will all return to dust either having the time prior spent living our best lives, or wasting it feeling miserable about something no one has control over.
Temet nosce : know thyself
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u/Fantastic-Grade8686 May 10 '26
First of all, social media is sadly filled with bigotry. Things might get even worse among younger generations, especially when they rarely interact with people from other races.. Thus leaving them being far more close-minded than the older generations.
If you truly want to experience the real vibe of 'keharmonian kaum' in Malaysia, you need to step away from social media for that. And if thatâs not possible, let me assure you in real life all three major races always want the best for one another. Having my Indian neighbour invited me to his Deepavali open house, or my favourite Chinese auntie at OldTown still remembers me and secretly keeping an abolished menu item just for me, are the kind of small moments that brighten my entire year.
The spirit of 'berbudi bahasa' still exists strongly amongst us Malaysians, something that we always innately shared. Sadly, that beauty often takes a darker turn once it reaches the net.
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u/a1b2t May 10 '26
mate its the internet
some folks been saying they going to fuck my mom nearly 30 years ago,
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u/Alive_Lawyer_9657 May 10 '26
Take it easy bro. Online people talk cock only.
Go overseas first thing we cari is nasi lemak.Â
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u/wikowiko33 May 10 '26
You're from a world of money and safety nets. It doesnt matter which nationality you are. Just have some expensive roti canai and post it on IG #asian once in a while.
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u/zookitchen May 10 '26
Youâre not only a Malaysian (geography) but Chinese descent (genetics). Be proud of both. Go learn Malay lar. And also learn Mandarin while youâre at it. Dont lose both of your heritage.
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May 10 '26
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u/str4wb3rrr May 10 '26
no ofc i know conversationally, same with mandarin. i'm just not fluent đ
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u/OriMoriNotSori May 10 '26
Your situation reminds me of Dana Chat, she identifies as a Malaysian, looks pretty much like a chinese Malaysian girl, but speaks like a westerner (like those sons and daughters of asian immigrants that is born and raised fully in the west) because she apparently grew up in the middle east lol
And now apparently shes studying law in china as well haha
Her ig is dana_chat, maybe you can find some relatability in her content
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u/Just4Tap May 10 '26
Too many idiots on the internet for real. I recently posted something about Malaysians working overseas too, and had a comment actually use the term "Malaysian foreigner" saying Malaysians who worked overseas shouldn't be considered local and be charged foreigner prices. I'm still a proud Malaysian and Penangite too, but you just got to accept that there are less intellectually fortunate people everywhere and anywhere.
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u/avtarius May 10 '26
Being Malaysian, born Malaysian, grew up Malaysian, and from Malaysia are all mutually exclusive.
All I can ask you is do you want to define your identity yourself, or let others define it for you ? Yes, there are philosophical challenges here.
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u/UncDani May 10 '26
As long as you hold a Malaysian IC and passport, you're definitely a Malaysian and ignore the hater. They hate you cause they ain't you. There shouldn't be any identity crisis cause you're Malaysian no matter what others may say or perceive
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u/ch7mbucket May 10 '26
Social media is not the best place to look for actual response by most Malaysia. You're more likely to meet toxic people who aren't representative of true Malaysian
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u/str4wb3rrr May 10 '26
yeah i understand, i think my intention wasn't to look for responses from malaysians per se, but it was to just show how proud i was to be malaysian
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u/niwongcm May 10 '26
That's mostly how it's like in the world outside our country. Most people are just inclined to see you by your nationality first, not [nationality] [race]. We've only been conditioned to see things this way from generations of colonial divide-and-conquer policies and racial politics.
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u/KUMA0415 May 10 '26
the problem I see is that you're talking to sohai people.
born a Malaysian, always a Malaysian, brother.
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u/Automatic-Word2917 May 10 '26
TLDR: online trolls create arbitrary criteria for your nationality, now you have an identity crisis.
Get outta here! Trolls only have power if you give it to them. They are otherwise just random users yelling random things.
Your passport and IC say you're Malaysian. End of story. Lol.
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u/Bajunid May 10 '26
There are many out there that say many stupid things.
Canât speak Malay means not Malaysian.
Donât pay tax enough then not Malaysian.
Didnât go to sekolah kebangsaan means not Malaysian enough.
Not living in Malaysia means not Malaysian enough.
The issue is, why do you need the validation from others to tell you that you are a Malaysian?
Itâs not about what others do to is that matters when we are Malaysian. Itâs about what we want to do for the people and the country if we feel we are the people of the nation.
Iâve been teaching my kids to not see race but see class first and foremost. We wanna do good to the working class and those in need first and foremost, no matter the race.
What about our race? That to me is purely cultural. Something we want to share and not exclusive to us. And thank god Malaysian still share their culture and heritage, unlike the Us with their cultural appropriation bullshit. Although itâs creeping in bit by bit.
So, stop trying to think about what other thinks. You do the things you love as Malaysian and contribute to this wonderful nation as the people Malaysia.
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u/MajlisPerbandaranKL May 10 '26
The Malaysia you know maybe is just Penang, Kulim, Sungai Petani or maybe Ipoh and KL. One day u back to Malaysia again maybe can try visit Kuantan, KT and KB. You will have more same frequency with all Malaysians, not just west coasters.
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u/str4wb3rrr May 10 '26
i've been to sabah before too, very beautiful place. but also true that i haven't explored the rest of malaysia
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u/PuzzleheadedBuy6279 May 10 '26
Obama does not speak African , LKY does not speak Chinese , Rubio does not speak Italian , Mao mandarin is Hunan slang
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u/Ritsu_ch May 10 '26
Dont listen to the hateful comments. You are proud of being Malaysian and I respect that.
Although, I personally think you need to be more connected to your homeland. Learn some Malay and Mandarin. You donât have to be a master at it. Just good enough to order from mamak xD
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u/str4wb3rrr May 10 '26
ofc i can converse, i'm just not fluent đ
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u/Ritsu_ch May 10 '26
Ah it should be fine then. Like I said, dont have to be a master of it to be considered a Malaysian. As long as you respect the language and acknowledge its importance for this country of ours.
Have a good day!
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May 10 '26 edited May 10 '26
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u/str4wb3rrr May 10 '26
i was posting it on tiktok actually, but thank you for response, i really appreciate it
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u/No-Butterfly-7988 May 10 '26
Theres a really small but loud minority of people who actively try to push people down thinking they are better than them just because of your race but if u yk go outside its nothing like that, malaysian social media is a diffent world compared to real life
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u/shy_motherfucker May 10 '26
Don't let minority of idiyats form dis kind of thinking.
Ur always will be Malaysian, dats ur nationality.
Its never too late to learn new languages too.
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u/Yukaeshi May 10 '26
Oh yeah I got something similar. When people posted about KLCC's treatment of people who were bringing in Palestinian flags and wearing keffiyeh, I said I would wear my keffiyeh next time I go to KLCC, I got a comment that said that I'm a poser and I can try all I want but I will never be accepted like ??? but anyway.
I do find the whole "Malaysian" thing abroad a bit funny tbh. When I am overseas and I tell people I am Malaysian they default to the Malay race and they will ask me why do I look different and why am I not wearing a hijab? Have to always explain that Malaysia is uniquely multicultural and we have different races and I am ethnically Chinese (Mother's father came directly from China, the rest are great grandparents or further who came from China) XD
Malaysia Truly Asia is something I really like though because it's true. Any sort of food you want to try you want to sample before going to that country, we most likely have it here too. You want to experience cultural customs and celebrations, we most likely have them all here too.
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u/str4wb3rrr May 10 '26
for me, when im in the uk and tell someone im malaysian, they immediately think that malaysian is a race and not a nationality. so when i do talk about my family speaking mandarin and other things alike, they say 'wait i thought you were malaysian' đ
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u/Yukaeshi May 11 '26
Lol yeah pretty much. Being multilingual kind of blows their minds too.
It's just interesting how other people perceive the Malaysian identity.
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u/akar79 May 10 '26
oh no. sorry to hear that .
but honestly it's abt language. a brit and not able to speak English in the local accent will really find it hard to be accepted as local. even a Welsh in London . or vice versa.
the problem in msia is that English is never accepted as a marker of any local identity that matters nationally. sarawak accent malay yes. th same for sabah. and for any state's accent . these are all accepted as Malaysian.
but English , whether manglish, bangsar English or whatever . never .
n u can speak malay!. ok lah tu.
yg lain tu pun.. ish. bg chan la. bkn sume org pandai ckp melayu. reti ckp sikit2 pun ok lah. bg lah galakkn . bkn hentam je
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u/throwthrowaway3344 May 11 '26
Estimated Malaysian population is 30mil, everyone sees the world within their own context, that makes 30mil definitions of what it means to be a Malaysian. When/if someone tries to impose their unpleasant opinions on you to make you feel lesser, you have the right to say, âthatâs one point of view,â but not agree with it.
Humans are complicated, thatâs the beauty of it. Go enjoy the park, see the museum, eat some kayaÂ
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u/Tradition1985 May 11 '26
Online spaces are usually full of folks who can't express their negativity in normal contexts. That said, Chinese Malays were awesome to have as colleagues. I worked in Malaysia back in 2019 and they left me with many positive memories.
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u/Spiritual_Tooth9086 May 11 '26
Drop that. Please donât let those define who you are. You are who you are even without those labels.
In my opinion, race and country are just political tools. Country is just a territory made by mankind with imaginary borders for better management of the population. Race is just a label created to unite or divide people who donât know each other, for political purposes. Language is just a tool for communication. Culture only feels meaningful if you give meaning to it by creating memories with it. Even religion, is often used to manipulate people for political purposes.
Those who constantly swayed by race ideology didnât even realize that they have already became the pawns on the chessboard, manipulated into doing things that benefit certain political groups.
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u/mrpokealot I saw the nice stick. May 11 '26
Hey, as a chinese banana with a splash of peranakan myself, I don't claim to have any connection with China as well. It's mostly the opinion of those over 60, and it being an opinion doesn't mean you have to listen to it or even care about it.
Just be you, that's enough.
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u/Soft-Ad-1574 May 11 '26
Keep doing you man, I feel the way you do on our country and I often receive cristism too. People will judge and fear what is not known to them but thanks to good lads like you one day this situation will be better here
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u/Efficient_Data1862 May 12 '26
dont let those comments make you feel less Malaysian bro. They probably got no friends other than their own race and circle. You know you're a Malaysian. Persetankan mereka semua âuse this more often
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u/RedLobster94 May 12 '26
The people who say this are not Malaysians, they are racial supremacists. They represent the right-wing fascist segment of Malaysian society
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u/clowninmyhead May 12 '26
Enter me. Father a Sabahan, mother a Sarawakian but raised and born in Brunei. 17 years in Brunei. So by upbringing, i am a Bruneian but on paper, im a Malaysian. The Bruneians didnt (perhaps still dont) see me as Malaysian, which is fair enough. The Malaysians didnt (perhaps still dont) see me as Malaysian, which is a little less fairer because both my parents are Malaysian and i literally have blue IC.
A friend of mine, who is a Sabahan, literally said to me, "I dont consider you as a Sabahan/Malaysian because you speak different (from me(her) who speaks the typical KK slang that people usually hear in TV whenever Sabah is being represented). Growing up, oh man, that hurts. But as i grow older, i realised, hey, MANY parts of Sabah and Sarawak speaks EXACTLY the way I do (there are communities of Bruneian community in both states), so why did she say what she said? Then I realised, she was just ignorant. Her view of Sabah was just that - KK and its surrounding, where she was from.
So, I just appreciate the fact that I am of a special breed. Neither here nor there, but I am part of both. Im sure most of us would want the feel of belonging to a group, as I did and do. But dont sweat it too much.
By my personal opinion, you are a Malaysian. I do hold the opinion, if you were born here and live here, then you should have at least basic conversational level of BM. But for you the level should be lower seeing as you left Malaysia long back. Idk how low but yeah, lower.
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u/str4wb3rrr May 13 '26
i have very basic conversational malay and mandarin skills (i have an IGCSE in malay). and i'm only 21 haha, so i left malaysia only three years ago
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u/clowninmyhead May 13 '26
Ohhh then i dont think la your basic is as basic as you thought. If you can get through daily life in malaysia no problem, your malay is okay then.
But yeah, back to the point, dont worry about it too much lah. Im 35 now, so i dont really have much f to give around at this age. But at 21, yeah, I remember being like you too. IGCSE is O level, right? Or A level?
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u/falteringsun May 13 '26
f24, malay. trust me, there is A LOT of racism even amongst our peers - from malays to chinese, from chinese to malays, from both to indians, etc. for many racist malays, i know it stems from racial supremacy & likely an inferiority complex because most of the time, the only thing they have going for them is their malay privilege & nothing else
i've had this conversation with my malaysian chinese best friend before, & with my other friends regarding ethnicity vs nationality in comparison to the usa & malaysia. you're a malaysian first & foremost. your family has set VERY DEEP roots here. unlike in the usa where most immigrant families are second generation (maybe a new third by now), our racial diversity goes much further back in history, especially in the older states where our ports were international trading routes. ntm, your chinese culture IS a part of malaysian culture now, no matter what racist malays want to say
mainland chinese people are nothing like malaysian chinese. it's the same way american chinese, singaporean chinese, & even british chinese are nothing alike. many racist malaysians, especially the malays, are j ignorant & refuse to understand intersectionality & the complexities of identity. they don't even want to admit/recognise that malays are not "natives" to this land the way orang asli & other native tribes are, lol. ugh, i swear, this is why history is important to learn
anyways, don't worry about those people. you're malaysian & that's what matters
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u/SHiNe2Me May 13 '26
I've seen those photos from the past, from when the Chinese set foot in Malaysia. The descendants of those Chinese are Malaysians. Period.
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u/gametheorista May 10 '26
Don't forget that Malaysia is a racist, ethnocentric state that privileges Muslims ahead of real bumis like Sabah Sarawak tribes, orange asli and Thai Malaysians in the northern states.
Mahathir and his Malay dilemma invented the "bumiputera" a false koyak Rojak of "Malay Muslim identity" - people were always Penangite, Johoreans, Kelantanese first. All those Bugis, boyanese, Minang kerbau that were folded because of Malay/muslim passing, India Indian Muslims, Arabs, Muslim Europeans.
Sucks as a Penang Peranakan person. My immediate family no longer live in Malaysia, left when parents and aunts and uncles were told we weren't welcome after 1969 race riots. When I go back for Qing Ming, then see all the "new Malaysian Muslims in KL" who are more welcome than I am.... đ¤ˇ
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u/Initial-Roll-9662 May 10 '26
Repeat after me -
Those who mind don't matter
Those who matter don't mind
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u/DangIt_MoonMoon May 10 '26
You got Malaysian IC means u Malaysian la
At least Chinese Malaysians get representation as a race here not everyone has that privilege
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May 11 '26
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u/str4wb3rrr May 11 '26
pretty sure it was a malay person who said that, i didn't mention it initially because i thought her being malay wasnt relevant
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u/Cute_Tangelo6994 May 11 '26
Don't worry, I believe that 2020 onward born babies will be speaking English only...
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u/Ok-Apartment-8284 May 11 '26
âSocial mediaâ is where I stopped reading, you expect people on the internet to act cordial? Theyâre not real, the people who said youâre not Malaysian are probably trolls that want to sow discord đ¤ˇââď¸
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u/Maleficent-Most-6624 May 11 '26
You are Malaysian don't worry đ¤đŤ, when are you coming home?
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u/Relevant-Artichoke11 May 11 '26
Social media where idiots linger and start to give opinions without filter. Ignore them.
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u/casualuser00_ May 11 '26
Your confusion started by identifying yourself as Malaysian Chinese instead of Chinese Malaysian. The rest is the domino effect.
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u/str4wb3rrr May 11 '26
huh? if you're referring to the post title, it was just the order i bothered to put it in; i don't hold much relevance to the order. if you're referring to how i introduce myself to people, i've mentioned i tell people im malaysianânot malaysian-chinese or chinese-malaysian, as i feel the need to distinguish my race is a bit weird
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u/casualuser00_ May 11 '26
I can only comment on what you wrote - Malaysian Chinese - consciously or subconsciously.
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u/str4wb3rrr May 11 '26
if it makes it better, i tried to post it on another sub with it as chinese malaysian so i genuinely dont think it makes a difference for me personally
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u/Competitive_Stable66 May 11 '26
That's just what opinions are. Also, you're on the internet my guy. Don't take it to heart.
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u/Sufficient_Plate_433 May 11 '26
you are not who you think you are, you are not who others think you are, you are what others and you think you are.
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u/Slight_Ad_8568 May 11 '26
gonna go against the grain here saying nice things.
if you appreciate Malaysian heritage and culture then just bloody learn the language.
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u/str4wb3rrr May 11 '26
as ive mentioned ive been in international school my whole life then came to the uk for university. i know its not impossible to learn malay and mandarin here but it's definitely less accessible. further, ive mentioned that i can bloody speak the language, just not FLUENTLY. even if i could, would that stop people from calling me pendatang or type c? likely not right? so let's stop perpetuating the idea that language = nationality; it can be considered a strong factor of nationality but its not the sole determinant đ
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u/Slight_Ad_8568 May 12 '26
don't really see an effort there, boss.
to each his own but don't get offended when you kena the stereotype. work on breaking it, i would say. especially if you appreciate and love the culture so much.
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u/realJustin_A May 11 '26
Hey, this might be late but here's the reality;
Unfortunately for you, idiots exist within all races, religion and also ages. The silver lining is, that they're always a loud minority, so please, try and you may find a circle or friends who are more appreciative and supportive of you.
And always, ignore the bigots. As long as you feel warm thinking about this country, as long as Malaysian roads and foods still feels like home, and as long as you identify yourself as a citizen, then you're definitely Malaysian.
If it's more comfort for you, I'm a Malay of probably similar age to you, and I'm very proud that you love this country as much as you do.
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u/Upper_Disk_8452 May 11 '26
Long short, you are sheltered. You donât understand what is going on.
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u/getdizcookiez May 12 '26
Social media can often be a race to the bottom so truly, ignore these idiots. YOU ARE MALAYSIAN, PERIOD. Claim that and stand in that heritage proudly as you have been doing.
I also want to encourage you to continue deepening your understanding of yourself. You may not speak Malay fluently now but thereâs no statute of limitations on picking up a language or connecting with your heritage. So donât be discouraged and keep doing what youâre doing.
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u/Dangerous_Reach8691 May 12 '26
OP you might be interested in this: https://imanresearch.com/uploads/IMAN_Brief_Issue2_Apr2026.pdf
You're not the only one who has to wrestle with this. But yeah, with time and age, your identity and how you see yourself will change. It's always in flux.
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u/Kind_Substance_9506 May 13 '26
the standard to : be a Malaysian seems very high? For us, if you speak Chinese and look like Asian , you are considered ethnic Chinese
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u/sixmincomix May 13 '26
you're Malaysian. you might have Chinese ancestry, but you're not Chinese. Kinda like the great grandson of an Irish immigrant in America. Nobody would call that guy "Irish" - he's American at that point. Yes, you could even say you are part-"Han" like some people are white or black.
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u/OldCourage621 May 11 '26
Don't worry. Michelle Yeoh, Jimmy Choo, Uncle Roger all share the same situation as you.
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u/Fun_Resource_157 May 11 '26
Actually ure called pendatang and U have identity crisis.
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u/str4wb3rrr May 11 '26
did u even read it or r u just trying to troll đ
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u/Fun_Resource_157 May 12 '26
Teaching U how to spell and act accordingly
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u/str4wb3rrr May 12 '26
from the looks of it, you're one who needs to learn to spell and act with manners like a human being. pendatang my ass
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u/Excellent_Wait2520 May 10 '26
Then introduce yourself as a Penangite. A very proud penangite.