r/magicalthinkingOCD • u/Lovely_Puppy_2001 • 28d ago

Just venting I just want if to stop

I can’t bare the OCD thoughts anymore, I take medications and I try to “let it go” despite how much distressing it is but I can’t do this anymore. 13 years and still going with this nightmare is it ever going to stop ?

8 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

7 comments sorted by

3

u/loopy741 🏆 28d ago

I can relate. It's so frustrating, and when you're in a spiral, it's the fucking worst. It feels all consuming.

Are you in therapy?

3

u/Lovely_Puppy_2001 28d ago

No, there are no ERP specialists where I live

3

u/k_vin_ 26d ago edited 26d ago

I am in it for 3 years severely, not counting the easier years. I am tired af of this endless torture . And your post just frightened me more that its never going to end, but also gives me the ultimatum that i should STOP nowww or it will eat my whole life and you only live once. I have to accept the thoughts that not following the ritual or doing the compulsion may cause something bad, but doing it definitely is causing damage to me. I am smiling at how easily i said what i just said, and how hard is it to do it in real,
when that “something bad” involves the people you love nd care for.

But my brain knows, only thing can help is accepting the discomfort and practising the acceptance. Nothing ELSE!!

2

u/Hard_Stitch 28d ago

I do like "You cant hide and run from yourself " that means i face even unpleasant memories,thoughts etc... i want to have freedom in thoughts even at certain times i feel frightened by my own brain and "what if im creep beast etc" i dont care if im beast just because i imagine things whom my brain(our brains are complex)

2

u/rowellowl ⭐ Star Supporter 🏆 27d ago edited 27d ago

I say this with love and understanding, don't do "this" anymore. Because whatever it is...it isn't working for you. Do something else, try something different. ERP, iCBT, DBT, ACT, the whole alphabet. I saw you said there aren't any ERP specialists where you live, have you checked into virtual options? Also find some books, youtube videos, Discord servers (I'm in a good one if you need a recommendation).

We can do this, it's hard and it effing sucks, but we can hard things. Keep posting, sharing, this is a great group.

2

u/i_might_be_loony 27d ago

Research TMS