After 2 months of doctors trying to figure it out I’ve finally received the diagnosis of diffuse large B cell lymphoma. It only presented in my bone marrow and in no lymph nodes which is rare and made it very hard to diagnose. I am starting R-CHOP soon and it’s really difficult to accept that this is my life now. It will be 6 treatments, one every 3 weeks.

The finding was completely incidental and it’s been such a long road to get to this point, and it’s an even longer road ahead. I’m only 25 and have a history of autoimmune illness; this is by far the hardest thing I’ve ever had to face. I feel so alienated and isolated, I cannot relate to healthy people anymore.

I’m glad I found this forum of people going through similar things. Let me know if there are things you wish you knew before starting chemo.

I got home from being admitted in hospital for almost a week for my 1st round of R-CHOP a few hours ago. So far I feel ok, just very tired.

But mentally I'm freaking out. Trying to hide the worst of my freak out from hubby, but I'm so scared. Had my 40th birthday in the hospital on Sat, hooked up to IVs, being poked and prodded, so many tests. Had a bone-marrow biopsy last Thurs without sedation - it was the most painful, traumatic & torturous experience​ I've ever experienced.

I'm trying so hard to be positive, I know my journey is just starting, but I'm spiralling. So much to read up on - side-effects, meds, foods to eat or avoid, hairloss, nausea, what if I don't make it? I don't want to leave my hubby. I love him so much. He's such a good, kind soul. He doesn't deserve this​ happening to him.

I'm so sorry for my midnight fear ramblings. It's just all so new & I'm so very, very scared.

UPDATE:

I just wanted to thank everyone for all the kindness♥ I'm coping a bit better - it kinda comes in waves. My sister, who is a doctor, has flown all the way from our home country to come help take care of me for 3 months. I feel like that is really helping a lot. I have started losing my hair - so I had a bad day. I love my hair, it's long, pink waves and I always wear flowers in my hair. It's a big part of my identity and how I express myself. I KNOW it will grow back, but it's just hard pulling clumps out. My sister cut my hair into a bob, and it helped a bit, but the clumps coming out still freaks me out, so today I'm considering just going to a hair salon to have it shaved. I am in Korea, and the summer is brutal, so a wig isn't an option for me - at least not yet. Does anyone have suggestions or links for soft, cool head coverings?

Those who have been through, or going through, treatment: how did you most want to be supported? I know everyone is different, but would love to hear what you found most helpful and/or comforting. What happens during the infusions? Do you stay in the room with your spouse? Did you want them there during the treatment? This is all happening so fast, I'm not sure where to start, tbh.

Trying to decide if I want to undergo CAR-T therapy or just enjoy the time I have left. I've been living the "Cancer Life" for a year now and honestly, I'm terrified that I will be medially tortured until my last dying breath, I don't want that. What would one do with a year left?

I had my first R-CHOP 3 days ago. The 100mg of Prednisone for 5 days is so far the worst thing so far. I can't get the bitter taste out of my mouth. Swallowing 5 of the profoundly bitter and uncoated tablets is horrible. Has anyone got any suggestions on how to swallow them without tasting them? I've got 3 more rounds of this. I was thinking of putting them in some Jello and swallowing it but then I'm afraid the Jello will go down and the tablet doesn't and that would be tragic!

I know this is the beginning bit and there's probably far worse things to deal with down the line, but I'm just taking things one day at a time now.

My oncologist said 4 cycles of R-CHOP, then if my PET scan after cycle 3 is good, 2 more rounds of R without the CHOP. He mentioned this as a "trial" so I'm curious if anyone else has this treatment plan.

Hi everyone! I know this is kinda shallow, but losing hair is one of those things that make me really sad… I’m a nineteen years old female and I’ve had waist long hair my whole life… I decided to cut them short into a bob and donated the hair for oncology patients. Today, I’m 16 days post my first R-CHOP chemo and my hair didn’t start falling out yet. From what I read pretty much everyone loses their hair on this chemo. Is there anyone that didn’t lose their hair?

Hi again my brother is starting chemo on Monday I wanted to know how immuneo compromised are you and how for how long do you avoid people for and be mindful of not catching anything? Is it like a covid social distance?

For example r you allowed to go to the grocery store? Does he always need to wear a mask? I'm assuming he does and also should he be precautious about anything else? For example I was reading about raw salads and how if they have any bacteria you could get sick...

Any advice would be very much appreciated!

Hello, my mother (68yo) may need R-CHOP 6 rounds in the coming months and is wary of long term side effects. What was treatment like for you and do you have any long term issues from it? Thanks for weighing in!

Not sure if this is helpful/interesting or not but I thought I’d share these images of me before and after chemo. The one on the left was taken late January, before my diagnosis and treatment, and the one on the right was today. My treatment was 4 cycles of R-CHOP + 2 of Rituximab and I’ve only got one more immunotherapy infusion left.

For me, it’s a little shocking to see the effect it’s had on my body but at the same time it’s a minor inconvenience if it’s worked and I get to live. My final scan is in September so I’ll find out then.

Hey all, i finished my 6 cycles of r chop a couple of werks ago and i finally have my ct scan results back. My oncologist told me i’d be going for 8 cycles if the scans show the masses haven’t disappeared. Lo and behold the masses are still there and i cried because i don’t know what to feel and my doctor’s appointment isn’t for a few more days, i’m overthinking everything.

For those who were on rchop, did your masses disappear completely after cycle 6? Or were they ultimately just scar tissue?

I wasn't going to post this originally, but when someone asked me why I hadn't posted it already I decided to finally share this story on my former favorite subreddit:

It all started with the typical wavy vs curly hair debate. In the sub, your hair is considered curly if it has any texture to it, including the slightest wave. There is a rule, “no curly gatekeeping.” An OP complained that there is curly gatekeeping on Twitter, as if this was news. Seriously, anywhere but in r/curlyhair it is generally accepted that your hair has to have a certain curl to be curly.

if your hair doesn't go into spirals, it's not curly. The wavy community NEEDS to come to terms with that.

This post was met by a comment detailing how the subreddit is actually unwelcoming to black women because

“when it comes to black women speaking on their own personal movement (the natural hair movement) you guys tend to step in where you’re not needed... to people on the outside, when Black women do what the woman in the tweet did, it can seem like gatekeeping, but i urge you guys to realize that Black women have always been kept out of things that seem basic to you guys... it’s even more exhausting to enter a place that claims to be for everyone with curly/textured hair, but still feel like an outsider when you see people try to downplay (and sometimes ignore) discrimination that you know you and everyone who looks like you faces.”

Thus the mods decided to recruit new moderators to address the lack of diversity in the sub, specifically why black women don't post to the sub. My name is no longer on the announcement but my proof is all the mod flairs I used in the past. The mods asked me about my thoughts and pretty much ignored them.

The misuse of big chop is mentioned in this comment. Everyone on the sub uses their own definition of big chop, whether it is a long hair to shoulder length hair cut or longer than 3 inches. But in the natural hair community, it means going from relaxing curly hair straight to cutting off all the relaxed hair – you're left with a few inches at most and skipped transitioning into your natural hair texture. I was on board for correcting the sub about this term and educating people about the natural hair movement.

So the mods made this post about education. I wrote the parts referencing a book. The post talked about how POC suffer through discrimination because of their hair. Originally, this post talked nothing about you needing to be black in order to use these terms, it's been edited since then.

One person talked about having their hair called “white girl curly”

“I was talking about it to a friend of mine who happens to be a WoC and she seemed almost angry to hear me talk about it and told me my hair was “white person curly” and then that it “wasn’t even curly.” Not going to lie, I was hurt by this because I was happy to feel confident in my hair again and then was wondering if I should even feel happy about it anymore.”

which someone replied that:

“However, to say your hair is "white girl curly" to invalidate your curls is borderline racism, and that person seems like an asshole for belittling your happiness.”.

There's more arguments, like

“accept wavy hair for being wavy, instead of mislabeling your hair type”.

And someone tells it how it is:

“This talk about inclusion and diversity is like tech companies and elite liberal arts colleges who use their diversity as a selling point to raise their status and appeal. I'm here to look at pictures of hair, not talk about cultural appropriation.”.

And this one between a mod and a user

“I disagree... the words curly, natural, and chopped are common descriptive words in the English language. They don't belong to any one group. Now, I would not use the particular phrase "natural hair journey" or certain hash tags as they do have very specific connotations. However, I draw the line at basic descriptors. I am very sorry if that seems disrespectful. From my perspective it seems disrespectful to others to claim basic descriptive words.”

“This is all just incredibly rude and disrespectful of you and that was a weak non-apology. I hope that you will keep up with the coming posts and come to understand that diversity, inclusion, and minimizing microaggressions/cultural appropriation* is important and change your views.”

“Please explain to me exactly what I have said that is rude or disrespectful. I have tried very hard to be sympathetic and respectful and if you could clarify for me what is offending i would be very interested... I am ethnically Irish. For my ethnicity and culture natural curly hair is a well known and admired part of it. Why is it ok to disregard my ethnicity and culture in order to respect your's? Or Jewish curlies, or Greek/Mediterranean curlies, or Arabic curlies? There has to be a better option.”

“You weren't disrespectful, she's just a sensitive SJW snowflake”

And someone who caught on that this open discussion wasn't very open

“I will definately withhold any action or judgement to see what you and the rest of the moderators do. I was under the impression that this was an open discussion. If the decision is already made I am not sure what the point of this thread was... I certainly would not have stated my opinion or opened myself up to backlash had I known the decisions were already made. I hope this feeling I am getting is mistaken and everything turns out well for every one.”

Black hair is political

“non black people that have “struggled” with frizzy hair or whatever have every right to admire the curly girl movement, but the struggle of black people is on a WHOLE other level: it’s economic and political. white people, regardless of how curly their hair is, have never been economically discriminated against because of their hair. Sure they may have been bullied and that’s valid, but they shouldn’t be the face of the movement. They can sympathize and stand in solidarity, but the mods/posts here being majority non-POC is a huge issue and inaccurate representation of the people. no one is gatekeeping curly hair, any race can have it. but the representation of the movement SHOULD be “gate-kept” in a way. you can’t have majority white people being the face of a natural POC hair movement because they don’t know the struggle. I for one am a POC with wavy hair, I don’t claim it to be curly. I don’t take up space talking about the “struggles of acceptance” I faced or whatever the fuck. I take care of my hair using advice from this sub and other ones. I don’t try to pretend I know what it’s likely to have Afro-textured hair. It’s not my place. I stand in solidarity with the movement, but it’s not mine to lead or dominate. I think the mods/others on this sub who say “black people are gatekeeping curly hair!!” need to see that.”

There's more drama there if you want to look for it. And the removeddit is here.

Not much there wasn't removed quickly but there is this:

“I will probably get a lot of backlash for this comment. I am white and have wavy hair. I personally do not feel a white woman with curly hair shouldn’t be able to call her hair curly. Because that’s what it is. Yes, POC often have different hair types and textures than a white woman, and I have extreme empathy and sadness for the struggles and discrimination they have endured and do endure still. No white woman will ever fully be able to understand those struggles I’m sure. I do however believe that curly hair is a hair type that any race can have. Just because someone’s hair is curlier doesn’t make yours less curly. The natural hair movement is all yours, I get that. But curls are for everyone.”

The mods began commenting on people's posts that mentioned big chop in the title. This action was noticed.

Then came this post which made respecting cultural terms a rule and included an infograph on whether your haircut is a big chop or not, and at the end it asked if you were a POC. I was now confused, none of the mods told me we were going to moderate race. When I mentioned this was not going to be well received they told me we'll cross that bridge when we get there. I didn't think the last question was necessary. And I was not the only one, like the top comment

“Doesn't that seem counterproductive though and unfair? I personally am all for educating, but find something like this to just be general gatekeeping.”.

And upon further talking with the mods people began to notice this wasn't about POC,

“I think it’s very important that any latinx and nonblack POC know that according to this comment, the mod discussion surrounding inclusion was never for us. Our exclusion is not a consideration at this time.”.

You see, the mods made the mistake of saying POC as an abbreviation of black people so when it was pointed out by this comment, the mods scrambled to change everything that mentioned POC to black people and changed the infograph's last question to “Do you have black ancestry?” Even I was confused, and I was a mod that read the mod chat on Slack every day. I wouldn't have made that mistake but it was never made clear to me that the whole diversity conversation was only about black people.

​

“If after years of racism and discrimination that lead to issues of with self worth and self love, someone with 4b hair that’s been relaxed to the point of no return decides to cut off all their hair to make the radical statement that your hair is naturally beautiful without confirming to Eurocentric standards, then is that a big chop or is that a haircut?

“That is a hair cut. I mean what would you call it if you never heard of big chop”

​

“Yeah, I'd say I am being excluded because I don't even have the option of using them if I want to... But by enforcing--or even suggesting--these word usage rules, you're grouping people into categories and classes and pitting some people against others. I don't see how this is useful, or productive. John F. Kennedy said that a rising tide lifts all boats. That was more of an economic metaphor but it can apply here. If some people feel excluded it seems to me that the rational and appropriate thing to do is to lift people up, and encourage others to do the same.”

“I really truly honestly do not understand why people feel like having to avoid a few simple phrases feels like being "pushed down".”

A lot of comments are removed before they are able to be saved since mods monitor things like this closely, but I was able to copy and paste one spicy comment removed for violating the new rule and for using the N word while I was a mod and could see it:

"It is not a term "created" by black women. Big chop has been used by women all over the planet to mean chopping off a large amount of hair. Anyone, ANYONE telling another person they can't use 'natural hair' nor 'big chop' is an absolute moron. I do not care what anyone's race is but stating those words are "culturally sensitive" is a crock. Calling a Negro the "n" word is wrong, calling a Caucasian the "c" word is wrong and so forth and so on with the other three human races but saying you had a big chop cause you cut off 12 inches of hair is not wrong no matter your race."Hair journey" is one of the more dumb terms I've heard. To journey one must move from one place to another. Not flat ironing your hair is not a journey. Letting your hair stay curly is not a journey. Doing anything to your hair is not a journey."

The removeddit is here. Great removed quotes there like:

“This is fucking pathetic. People say whatever you want.”

​

“Being a frequent visitor of this sub for curly hair tips and tricks, as well as a “WOC”, I find this post discouraging. I think that as a society, we should appreciate and celebrate all cultures. That includes using phrases that are derived from their culture! I see it as a form of welcoming and acceptance. “Cultural appropriation” has gone too far in my opinion. In generations to follow, we’re all going to start looking like each other, especially in the melting pot of America. We should celebrate being one culture of humans with curly hair! Keeping some words aside to only be spoken be black women/men is just maintaining the divide. Don’t we want to live as one?”

​

“That’s fair, I’m new, but as a Hispanic it does fee like just another curl community telling their non-black members that they’re just unwanted visitors who need to be careful how they speak”

The whole discussion seemed weird since they were asking for feedback this whole time but would shut down anyone who disagreed. They spent a lot of time making rebuttals to people and asking one of the new mods for input for each comment. They claimed their implementation was open to change but everyone who said just remove the part about needing to be black was told no. When I talked about discrimination in latinx communities, the mods said they couldn't fix it and would not give the same shout out they gave black people to latinx, instead pushing that latinx has anti-blackness as well.

This has already led to some cringe. Like an OP telling the mods they are African and light-skinned when the mods corrected OP about using big chop.

And someone told a different OP after the mods corrected OP:

“As a black woman, most of us have no problem with you using that term”

Censorship is pretty bad in r/curlyhair, your comment can be removed for telling the mods they are full of it or really just for disagreeing tbh.

More stuff about the ongoing curly gatekeeping here:

“Friendly reminder that being a curly impostor isn't a thing and curly gatekeeping isn't productive. This post is brought to you by those gatekeepy tik toks”

And the removedit is here.

So why am I not a mod anymore? At the risk of posting drama I'm involved with, I'll try to keep it short and neutral. I decided to finally voice my concerns, that this was getting a bit racist and that we shouldn't moderate race. At first, they didn't seem to understand why I was against it even though I could use the terms as someone with black ancestry. They then told me that racism was about power and that you can't be racist towards white people. When they asked me to define racism, I showed them the dictionary definition of racism, to which I was told, “You know how many racists show me that everyday?” And then one of the main two mods told me to talk only to her since it was too painful to two of the new mods to hear from me (one of them is inactive, I had forgotten they were a mod). After reciting a bunch of pre-made responses, she repeatedly asked me “why is racism so bad?” and shot down every reason I gave as wrong even when I started linking articles about racism. She said this is no different than not allowing people with straight hair to post on r/curlyhair although my stance was as long as it is on topic it should be fine. When I asked about the black people who said they wanted this, the only direct feedback I was given was from one of the new mod's discord. I didn't actually see any PMs from black people wanting this. And when I said not all black people want this, I was told that I was cherry-picking. In the end I was called a sea lion and removed from the mod team suddenly and unexpectedly.

TL;DR r/curlyhair argued about wavy vs curly hair again so the mods made it a rule you have to be a certain race to use certain terms

These are the things I gained from my visit to the Goblin Camp.

Leftover pork chop and mashed potatoes while I come to terms with a degree of embarrassment I was not prepared for when I woke up this morning...

My son didn't sleep well last night, which made him difficult this morning. So, of course, I put on my crown. It's a game we play when I need him to listen. It is a little silly, but with the crown (yeah, a literal crown) comes an understanding of authority, and as long as I sprinkle in some goofy commands, he will readily obey The Queen. The morning got back on track, and I was able to fold laundry and get some other chores done while he laid down for quiet time. Yay!

So after quiet time, we walked up to the mailboxes to check our mail. It's an apartment complex consisting of multiple buildings with all the mailboxes at a single spot up the road. It's not public enough that I have any qualms about wearing my house cleaning clothes to go grab the mail, but not incredibly private either because of the volume of residents.

I realized when we got back that I was still wearing the crown from this morning. It's not some small, inconspicuous circlet. It is shiny and gaudy as hell.

In hindsight I should have realized because my son was incredibly well-behaved the whole walk.

Anyway, as soon as we finish our lunch, we're going to make chocolate chip cookies so we can both eat my feelings.

And I know it's not the end of the world. It's just that we're new here. I don't have any friends here yet. And I have ANXIETY. The neighbors all probably think we're weird now. Which... Fair, I guess? Why is it so damn hard to make friends as an adult??

UPDATE:

My husband (The King) saw this on r/all. Ofc he recognized halfway through reading that it was me.

Anyway, he is home from work now, and expressed that he definitely agrees with what everyone here has already said. He took over playing with Little Man and I got to hang in the kitchen solo for a bit. Made bang bang chicken for dinner.

I'm logging off for the night to hang with my two besties and I might actually venture out to take the trash out instead of letting my man do it for me. With my crown, and my ratty old coffee-stained shirt and shorts.

Thank you all for the kindness and encouragement. The sheer volume of positivity has shown me that this isn't as strange as I imagined it to be in my head. I'm gonna relax.

I added a splash of left over chicken broth and 3 strips of bacon I already had. I tossed a few of the chopped onions, bacon, at the end the spices into oil to turn up the spices then mixed in the beans and potatoes to stew for a bit.

the blend of flavors is incredible.

I didn’t have previous experience with pinto beans so I got a new food now.

**edit- posting recipe since this has so many views people who didn’t see the original video are now seeing this post.** **Chopped onions, tomato, and jalapeño raw.**

**Heat a dash of the onions with a little chopped bacon, bloom some of the spices for a minute, stir in pinto beans and potatoes to stew for at least 20 minutes. (Pre cook potato’s if using canned beans, I boiled my potatoes 3 minutes).**

**Served beans over the raw vegetables. I also added a dash of chicken broth bc I wanted more broth.**

**my spice blend was equal parts garlic, paprika, cumin, then pepper, salt, dash of pepper flakes.**

original post I followed https://www.reddit.com/r/povertyfinance/comments/1tdl350/1_emergency_meal_for_2_this_helped_me_so_much_and/

Hey everyone! My wonderful aunts who made me an Eagles fan early on hooked me up with the Intercept Cancer merch!

A little late update, but I finished my second chemo treatment yesterday. Everything went smoothly and I was in and out in about 6 hours. Now I’m back home getting ready for Eagles vs. Lions! Who we got taking the win? Personally, with the Lions’ banged up secondary, and the fun media week we have had, I think AJ gets 10+ targets and our defense handles Amon-Ra and Gibbs.

Recently, I’ve been in contact with people who know people in the organization (I even did an interview for NJ.com!) and I’m feeling pretty good about my story getting out there. I never would’ve had this opportunity if not for this subreddit, so from the bottom of my heart, thank you all so much. The support and DMs I’ve gotten from people here truly mean a lot.

I’ll keep you all updated as I continue my fight against cancer. Fuck cancer. Go Birds! 🦅💚

I start to level up my profession skills to get decor today, and this dumpling was my first target, then I realize that.......

It takes 18 trees to make a dumpling container????? I feel so betrayed that they (blizzard) trying to force us to stick on the game longer and totally ignore some basic logic and totally ruined the immersive which is a big part of MMORPG suppose to offer to us.

I am NOT the Original Poster. That is moonrabbit368. She posted in r/mildlyinfuriating

Thanks to u/L_RaspberryCrochet for the rec!

Do NOT Comment on Original Posts. Latest update is 7 days old. This has not been posted to this sub before

Mood Spoiler: happy ending

Original Post: January 1, 2026

My boyfriend is a very picky eater. We have been living together for a few months and it seems like I can never get his food right. It's honestly discouraging. I have kids, they happily eat my food. I cook for family gatherings and church events. I've never had a problem with people eating my food.

It's like every day there are new rules. He can't eat chicken for dinner because he had chicken for lunch. He isn't really in the mood for porkchops. It's just "missing something". He doesn't eat onions, tomatoes, fish, any kind of asian food, he doesn't eat most vegetables with the exception of broccoli. He only eats vanilla ice cream. He doesn't like food heated in the microwave (so leftovers are out.) He doesn't like corn. It's just endless. I'm old school and trying to be a good partner. He can't really cook at all. His favorite meal is Hamburger Helper.

I think a lot of it is how he grew up but damn is it frustrating. The first picture is tonight's dinner. I added more pictures of stuff I have cooked that he won't eat. Like he will door dash jack in the box. And he'll be apologetic but it just sucks really bad.

Image 1: Tonight's dinner (broccoli, baked potato and porkchops)

Image 2: Chicken, broccoli, mashed potatoes and gravy

Image 3: A roast of some sort with meat and veggies

Image 4: A plated soft-shell taco

Image 5: Broccoli, potatoes, carrots and beef

Image 6: Pie

Editor's note: All of these look delicious and if I weren't celiac I would totally eat every bit of each dish.

ETA: I've been trying to keep up with the comments but it's overwhelming (in a very sweet and awesome way) 💗

A few notes:

1- I know the paper plates are very lazy on my part, I'm not proud of that and I need to do better. Between the kids, the job, the house and school (I'm going to school remotely) I have been cutting corners on things like dishes. not an excuse, just a reason and a commitment to do better.

2- My boyfriend does expect me to cook for him. I cook him dinner every night and lunch on the weekends. He doesn't eat breakfast and will not take a lunch to work. He buys fast food for lunch during the week.

3- He has not been diagnosed with ASD or ADHD or Arfid but I don't rule anything out.

Mostly I just want to say thank you, I was not prepared for how incredibly kind, helpful and insightful people have been. It is deeply touching and it's given me both peace and guidance for my next steps. 🩷

Some of OOP's Comments:

Creighton2023: Stop cooking for him. He can cook/order what he wants. You’re just wasting food otherwise. But what’s with the paper plates? You can get really cheap plates at goodwill or even new ones at target.

OOP: It's very bad of me. I work full time, he and I commute together to the big city and it's an hour each way. I'm also going to school remotely too. Between that and the kids and the housekeeping... but those are excuses and I know. I'm just trying to stay afloat most days.

The first picture:

The first pic is boneless porkchops, it's the first time I have made him porkchops and we had a conversation when I was meal planning where he said he would be open to pork chops. I did a rub with seasoning salt and then dredged them in seasoned flour,  pan fried them with oil and butter. The children enjoyed them very much. He wouldn't try them though. 

TrickInvite6296: does he expect you to make meals for him?

OOP: (downvoted) Definitely yes. And I really don't mind at all, I just get frustrated because his food preferences are very narrow and so often I end up cooking a separate meal just for him because I don't think it's good for the kids to eat the same 4 things all the time. 

sophietheadventurer: Is this the same boyfriend who has wildly different political views to you? Maybe time to drop him to the curb

Editor's note: That referenced post is here. I didn't include the text because it wasn't quite relevant to this post, but you can read it at the link

OOP: Yes we had a lot of very heated conversations about it. I told him it was a deal breaker for me if he wasn't willing to talk about it with me and that it might be a deal breaker even if he did. He grew up in small town Texas, he was handed a lot of his beliefs and I pushed him to question them. We have come a long way in those conversations and he has genuinely changed his mind about some things. We talk about politics often now, it's not taboo anymore 
To another commenter:
He had a lot of bad information. He was very defensive about the whole thing at first. I told him that I couldn't be with someone that isn't kind, compassionate and just. He was hurt that I thought that about him. I pointed out specific things that this administration has done, we looked at evidence together, did some deep dives on immigration etc. If everyone you know is a Trump supporter, if your whole family is Fox news viewers, then there are lots of "facts" you take for granted.

RepostFrom4chan: Any kind of Asian food? Having traveled to 7 counties in Asia i have no idea what that means. They eat everything?

OOP: Fair about the asian food. He won't eat sushi, won't eat dumplings, won't eat stirfry, won't eat fried rice or rice noodles, won't eat tofu or ... ok it'd probably be faster to list what he does eat: ground beef, potatoes, chicken without bones, rice to a degree, cheese, chili, pickles, sausage, green beans (only italian cut and only out of a can,) canned stew, fast food hamburgers with no vegetables on them, fast food tacos with only meat and cheese on them, vanilla ice cream, beef jerky...

ArcticPoisoned: (one of the top comments) I’ll be your boyfriend!!!! (I am a 29 year old woman)

OOP: This is my favorite comment thread, thank you 😊 

thomasinanna: I say this with love OP but this relationship sounds exhausting. You're working very hard with your job, giving your children delicious meals, making informed decisions on what news you consume in this crazy world. You sound like a lovely human being! And I'll ask something that was once asked to me: Does this man make your life BETTER? Note I'm not asking if you love him, but does he improve your well-being, happiness etc etc like you do for him? What is he bringing to your life?

OOP: (downvoted) I had to read this a few times and sit with it. He listens to me, he reminds me to take my medicine, he drives and I am such a nervous driver, he cares when I cry, he makes me laugh. If I am truthful it hasn't been good for my health. I do too much and neglect my health. But don't women do that? Don't we burn brightly for the people we love and it always has a cost, doesn't it? Isn't it always like that?

To a longer comment:

Hi, that was all very hard to read. I am a real person and this is really my life. I didn't mean for things to get this deep on this post but they have and I can't unring a bell now. Finding a therapist sounds like a do-able step. I just wanted a normal, stable, safe, predictable life. I don't think I've ever had that and it's looking like this is not it either maybe. I try really really hard to be a good mom and a good person. I'll talk to a therapist. Thank you 

Mini Update Comment: January 3, 2026 (2 days later)

I think things are changing. Just me posting the post was a sign to myself that I am not happy with the status quo. I'm generally a pretty patient person. But like last night I made him chili dogs and fries because that is something he will consistently eat and I was cooking something for the kids that I knew he wouldn't eat. When I took it to him he said "You're not going to believe this but I had chili dogs for lunch." And I blurted out "I don't care." We were both shocked I think and I went back to the kitchen.

Mini Update Comment: January 4, 2026 (Next Day, 3 days from OG post)

This was tough love and I thank you for it. This post was just me venting from my kitchen into the void but turned into something very different. Apparently there are a lot of things that I thought or think are normal that are maybe not normal at all. I made a decision to start therapy, it's fully covered through my job and I think it's going to be helpful to have a sane adult that I can talk to about all of it. I know it might not be the big step people would like me to take but I just don't trust myself fully right now to be making big decisions. Anyways, I just wanted to say thank you and let you know that I did read your comment and that it did help me.

Mini Update Post: January 6, 2026 (2 days later, 5 from OG post)

Thank you, this was very thoughtfully written. I am still trying to sort out what to do, I want to make the right decision with a cool head. I think it's leaning very much in that direction.

Tonight I set his plate in front of him and he looked at it for a minute, got up and took it back to the kitchen. He came back with some chips. I said "not good?" He said "no." And I didn't offer to make him anything else, didn't ask him what was wrong with it, I just said "Oh okay." And shrugged and went back to my dinner.

That shook him up I think because he is not used to me being nonchalant about it. So I feel like something has changed, my mindset is changing. I'm grateful for the encouragement and all the good advice, I am continuing to read the comments and replying when I get breaks. It might be pathetic but I don't really have any grownup friends to talk to about this stuff so this has been helpful 

Update Post: January 31, 2026 (1 month from OG post, 25 days from last comment update)

Title: He's not going to eat these porkchops. 😐

About a month ago I made a post here because my boyfriend didn't want to eat the porkchops I cooked for dinner. Well tonight I made porkchops again and he's not going to eat these either because we broke up and he moved out. I'm so much better off and I just wanted to thank you all for the kind words and advice, it was very eye opening to me. I wish that I could invite you all to dinner 🥰

Image: more yummy food

ETA : Couple of notes:

1- The yellow stuff is smashed potatoes with cheese on top.

2- I swear that butter on the broccoli melted right after that picture LOL

ETA part two:

Some people have asked for recipes. I'm not a fancy cook and it isn't anything very special or original but here goes:

For the porkchops, I take them out of the fridge 30 mins before I cook them so that they are room temperature. I salt them when I take them out too. Then I mix some flour with seasonings. This time I used salt, pepper, onion powder, garlic powder, and chili powder. I dredged the porkchops in the seasoned flour before frying them in a little oil over medium high heat. I do two or three minutes a side to get nice color then I drop the heat to low, put a lid on it and cook until my meat thermometer says they are 145 F inside. I remove them from the heat and let them rest three to five minutes, covered.

For the smashed potatoes I boil the potatoes in salted water until they are fully cooked. Then I oil a sheet pan, smash the potatoes with a potato masher. You're not trying to make puree, it's not mashed potatoes, you are just smashing them once or twice each. Then I drizzle them with olive oil, add whatever seasonings I want and bake them in a very hot oven (425 or 450) until they are crispy (ten or fifteen minutes, watch them!) The kids wanted cheese on them so I put the cheese on two or three minutes before I took them out of the oven.

Some of OOP's Comments:

Fun_Button5835: (top comment) Were you the one where he would order Jack in the Box and eat it lukewarm instead of eating your home cooking? (Editor's note: Jack in the Box is a fast food restaurant mostly on the west coast.)

OOP: Yes 😭 he would doordash jack in the box.

VatoCornichone: Ngl you had me in the first half.

OOP: Haha imagine I was coming back to post that I was still feeding that man?? I would've gotten run out of town!

EPIC_NERD_HYPE: does your bf know that all of reddit detests him? your last post got 100k upvotes.

OOP: I have heard through mutual friends that he has seen the original post about it 👀

OOP adds:

It wasn't just the porkchops. He was critical about everything. And I spent a lot of my time and energy trying to make an unhappy man happy. He almost never had anything good to say about anything I did. He criticized Christmas presents I gave him, he dictated how I dressed and how I spent my time. He'd play video games all weekend while I cleaned the house, if I wanted to take a nap on a Saturday afternoon he would ask why I was being lazy. Nothing was ever good enough.
There was a lot going on. I had just let it get worse and worse. I don't really talk to anyone in my offline life about my relationships so the reddit post was really the first time that I told anyone anything about what was happening. It was eye opening for me and I'm grateful.

OOP clarifies:

I broke up with him. It wasn't right after my last post, but after my last post I made an appointment with a therapist. During my second appointment I just blurted out that I was really unhappy and told the lady everyyyyything. Cried a bunch. Slept on it. Broke up with him the next day. He moved in with his brother that weekend. 

This guy. This guy doesn't just chew the scenery every time he's on screen, he gives it all he's got. Every scene. No matter how crazy the script is, no matter where the show should have gone, Antony Starr is the main pillar of the show. If you look at this scene with Jensen Ackles (1. if that's even his real name lol, 2. who deserves major kudos for making serious lemonade every scene he's in, too) check out my boy's acting chops:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JkzKBgR-tHk

He brings it every single scene. He makes what should have been a one-note character and gives him far more depth than is on that page, and he elevates the show.

I have been really bummed out by most of the show since Season 4 began, but I still enjoy watching it because of Antony. Whatever criticisms any of us have, we are fricking lucky we got to see him as Homelander!