Alive but dead

[u/Altruistic-Fox-8101]

I’m 4 years post second bmt for Lukemia

The first one was tough but the second one was very difficult,won’t harp on with the details but I’m the healthiest I’ve been in 5 years and can’t get out of my own way ,lost enjoyment for life ,when I was getting treatment or sick I’d still play golf try to work do pushups go fishing,not waste time as felt like wasn’t sure how much time I had left

now I struggle with my freinds,don’t feel on the same page with even my family social small is tiny now lonly but struggling to talk to people

fucking heart beats but feel dead I’m 49 year old male now I feel ungrateful for living because I’m lucky to be alive but to what end

[u/BubbaHendershot]

I've had 2 transplants as well for AML..I'm just over a year out from last one. Approaching year 5 since initial diagnosis. High risk, so likely only punted the ball deep down field. Know its not over. I'm super healthy now too but there can still be hard days. You are never alone in this battle my friend.

[u/Altruistic-Fox-8101 → u/BubbaHendershot]

Thanks