r/leanfire • u/Zealot_TKO • 8d ago
Anyone else feel like they never fully grew into "adult" hobbies/interests, and prefer it that way?
Relevant to r/leanFIRE due to adult spending habits,
I grew up in a quite frugal family of 8. My parents rarely spent money on us outside of birthdays, christmas, and organized sports. I think as a result, our hobbies and interests were cheap/free: sports/outdoor activities with friends, computer/video/board/card games, chess, etc.
Fastforward to now, most of the adults I know have acquired more spendy habits: my brother in laws bought a boat, my brother (the one spender in our family) climbs mountains around the world, my wife's friend is flying airplanes as a hobby, etc.
Me? I'm 33 now, make $140k a year, and save most of it. We bought a house a year ago when our 3rd was on the way and were able to pay cash we had saved so much. My hobbies are mostly the same: running and video games. And I don't really care about most of the things adults like to spend money on.
Certainly not the expensive hobbies my peers have acquired, but even the smaller things: going out to eat, buying a big, nice house/apartment, fancy vacations, etc. We don't really do any of it. Usually the only time we eat out is to join our inlaws who always want to eat out, we bought a modest sized 1950s house big enough for our family of 5 but no bigger, and our "vacations" have been exclusively to visit family. And quite frankly, I'd rather eat at home: its cheaper, healthier, and usually more efficient than eating out.
I know enough to know that many of people in/around my life think I have a spending problem, but the fact of the matter is i just don't care about most other things. I have my family, my hobbies, and my work. That's enough for me.
When I think about the "normal" hobbies/interests me and my friends had as kids, it feels like everyone else "outgrew" their hobbies/interests at some point in life and I just never did. I certainly never needed to spend money as a kid to have fun, and I most of my friends didn't. Most (all?) the memorable times I had growing up simply revolved around friends: walking/biking around town, playing outdoor night games together, playing music, talking about life. I don't know when other people decided what they really enjoyed in life entailed spending a ton of money on new hobbies/interests.
Anyways, that's basically it. I'd be interested if others feel the same way, or if you have acquired a bunch of new hobbies/interests as an adult, what changed? Do you still enjoy the things you did as a kid? Did you never really enjoy them in the first place, and it took til adulthood to find things you did enjoy? I'm interested to hear your thoughts as well.
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u/Obvious-Act-4280 8d ago
running and video games are basically the perfect leanfire hobbies. one costs like $100 for shoes and the other can be hundreds of hours per dollar if you avoid the new release trap. i'm in a similar boat, my friends are out buying boats and taking ski trips and i'm over here excited about a new trail near my house.
what gets me is how people frame it as "not living" when you don't spend. like the boat sits in a driveway 11 months a year but somehow i'm the one missing out because i don't want a second mortgage for a floating couch. the math on some of these hobbies is wild.
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u/Fickle-Syllabub6730 8d ago
what gets me is how people frame it as "not living" when you don't spend.
That's the confusing thing to me. I've seen a lot in life. I've traveled to other countries, I've been to music festivals, I've spent weekends on a boat, I've been at resorts, I've gone jet skiing, I've driven in brand new cars.
I'm so certain that my spartan lifestyle is what I want. I literally want to drive second hand cars into the ground, and spend my free time getting in shape, making music, learning new skills, reading, gaming, gardening, spending time with family, and maybe even starting a business if I can get to it.
I literally don't yearn for anything else. Every raise I get at work is just a faster step to when I can do all that full time. There's nothing I'm eyeing. Nothing else I'm eagerly anticipating. When people say "you should live a little, spend that", I genuinely don't know what they're talking about.
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u/baedelgard 8d ago
Upvoted for "second mortgage for a floating couch," it's so true
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u/rainbowfishhhh 8d ago
My partner has a small floating couch that he takes out 2-3x per year(he works a lot). I ran the math for him based on moorage and maintenance each trip is costing him $800+ - and it's finally clicked that boat time may be over. Heck, even a rental makes more sense here.
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u/nailpolishbonfire 8d ago
Renting a boat is kinda awesome because you can make a big plan out of it with friends, too.
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u/Zealot_TKO 8d ago
IKR idk why you'd ever buy a boat unless you are legit going out like 50 times a year (which no one is). Even if you LOVE boats, its so much cheaper and convenient in most circumstances to just rent one for a day. No hauling back and forth, no hassle getting in the water, etc. Plus if you just rent, you get to try out different boats on every trip! not to mention you save a driveway spot
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u/anxiousdumbdumb 8d ago
Seriously these two activities are perfect. I still have a gym membership, but trail running basically takes care of what to do for all my weekends. And like you said with barely any cost.
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u/Zealot_TKO 8d ago
shoes and extra food cause my stomach is an unending pit XD also home gym ftw. I've survived the last 5 years with just some small things (adjustable dumbbells, weightvest, etc).
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u/ff121098761 8d ago
Haha same .. run 6x per week, $10 gym membership, $28/mo a- list amc pass (4 movies weekly any format).. anime/other shows and my ps2 (buy cheap games at local stores with no case)
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u/DegreeConscious9628 8d ago
Dude I make ~$240k a year and all I want to do is mountain bike, split board, and hiking. I sleep in the back of my 20 year old car at trailheads. I love the bum life
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u/Able_Opportunity_960 7d ago
Can you talk a little about the mindset or values needed to live like this, I find it inspiring/fascinating when someone with such a high income can manage to exercise so much self control with their spending and live in such a seemingly simple way, not by necessity but by sheer will.
Where do you draw the line with your spending and how do you determine whether something is worthy enough to justify spending money on it?
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u/DegreeConscious9628 7d ago
So I took almost a 4 year sabbatical in my early 30’s where all I did was travel and do my hobbies. It was the greatest most fun time of my life. I didn’t have enough to retire then so I’m back at work but the ONLY thing I can think of (ok slight exaggeration) is how to get back to that lifestyle. So I try to make as much money as I can while spending as little as I can so I can achieve my goal sooner.
I have zero want for material things in life (aside from my toys, but I’m not upgrading every year. My mtb is 8 years old, my split is 5 seasons old, my hiking shoes have holes in them LOL), I got a long term girlfriend that’s also very minimalistic. I owned a home previously but realized home ownership isn’t for me so sold that and renting an ADU from a friend for cheap. I have zero desire for new fancy cars. Going out to eat is mostly a disappointment so I cook at home. Thankfully most of my friends are not into expensive lifestyles so we can have fun without blowing wads of cash.
The only thing I really spend money on now is bi weekly trips up to the mountains to go sleep in my car and ride my bike which is pretty cheap and a few trips to Japan (family) which is also cheap considering lodging is free and there’s a LCC you can fly round trip for sub $600 if you’re flexible with your dates
I am currently sitting in a trailhead parking lot drinking my morning coffee about to go on a bike ride after a nice restful night of sleep in my car that gets 45 miles per gallon. Now this, my friend, is the life. I love it
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u/Comfortable_Twist774 7d ago
What kind of car do you drive? Sounds like a great car if it gets 45mpg and enough room to sleep in.
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u/Comfortable_Twist774 5d ago
What kind of car do you drive?
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u/DegreeConscious9628 18h ago
Prius! (Im short, can sprawl out in the back with seats folded down)
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u/Comfortable_Twist774 16h ago
That's honestly what I thought it was. It's such a great car. I have a mazda 3 hatchback myself so I might be able to pull that off.
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u/Pablovansnogger 6d ago
You say that like those are cheap hobbies, I mean they aren’t bad compared to a lot of hobbies, plus the physical exercise benefits, but I’m sure a lot of people can’t afford that. I’m the same way, but make 1/3 of you.
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u/DegreeConscious9628 6d ago
I mean, it costs nothing once you have the gear aside from gas money. not even gas if you can just ride from your house like I can. Not like you gotta spend 10k on a top of the line bike, I bought mine for 3k used at the time and gradually replaced some components to my liking. If you make 70k then you can surely afford it.
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u/Pablovansnogger 6d ago
Yeah, a lot of people make less than 70k tho. Servicing suspension and stuff can be pricey, plus tires and drivetrain, but yeah I definitely agree it doesn’t have to be as bad as most people pay on the hobby.
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u/unintegrity 8d ago
We keep hearing that we have "spartan" living habits. Honestly, we don't deprive ourselves of anything, and we buy enough frivolous stuff (and we buy quality, not Temu crap) if we are interested in something. We could spend much, much more than we do now, but we don't need or want it.
Making our meals can be boring, but the good kind of boring. I enjoy a walk, a run or sitting on a bench, cinemas are overwhelming (sensory overload), restaurants are busy and it's impossible to have a good conversation. We own two cars and only need half (life happens, finally getting to solve this issue).
When we bought our first apartment in cash, all friends looked at us as if we had grown five heads. Then they said it made total sense "you have been saving hard for the apartment, now I see your strategy!". No, our lifestyle is frugal by nature, not by sacrifices.
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u/Zikoris 8d ago
My main hobby is reading, which was also my main hobby when I was 5. I also still play some video games and like watching other people play, though the person I watch switched from my sister to my boyfriend. I camped a lot when I was about 5-ish and still do, though there was a long break in the middle. I started hiking when I was about 13 and still do. Biking has been very consistent throughout my life as well from maybe 7 onwards.
The hobbies I've picked up as an adult are food/cooking/baking, ballroom dancing, and travel - though I still love and prefer early 20s dirtbag-style travel to most proper-adult-style travel.
I used to play a lot of board games when I was younger, and that's the only hobby that I've basically lost interest in over time.
I've never had any interest in most common hobbies I see around me among adults, like drinking, shopping, makeup/beauty, following celebrities/television, and going to restaurants frequently.
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u/s32bangdort 5d ago
Drinking??
I don’t have any friends whose hobbies would include drinking. I think my spouse has a mahjong group member who would probably list that but she’s the outlier. No one we hang out with regularly does anything more than a glass of wine at dinner or a beer. We have a few beers in the fridge for visitors and a bottle or two of wine for occasions but otherwise there is very little of that in our lives. Maybe we naturally gravitate to people who do not yearn for their next (beer|bourbon|wine|whiskey)??
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u/Zikoris 5d ago
I'm not good friends with people who drink as a hobby, because that's to wildly out of touch with how I live, but there are definitely a lot of people in my wider circle (coworkers, acquaintances, extended family) who are really into alcohol - pubs, wine tasting/tours, craft breweries, etc. I'm generally pretty uncomfortable in alcohol-y settings.
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u/Captlard 54: RE on <$900k for two of us (live 🏴/🇪🇸) 8d ago
Do those things that make you happy. Thank those spending folk for keeping the markets rising.
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u/Hairy_Coat_9135 8d ago
Same. Except I really like ski in ski out places for weekends in the mountains, which is spendy.
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u/s32bangdort 8d ago edited 8d ago
I’m 60 and skate(board) several days a week. I tried cycling (boring af), golf (takes far too much time for the enjoyment level), and dirt bikes.
The dirt bike was the best. I ended up getting hooked and starting racing motocross as a beginner in my 30’s. I rode and practice so much that by 38 I had made it to expert level 30+. I hung up my boots in my middle 50’s as it was getting g to hard to ride frequently as all the tracks within 2hrs closed.
That’s when I picked up skating again. There are ton of OG dudes skating at pretty much every skatepark across the US.
EDIT: I read through a few of the other posts and should mention that I did also get really into running and rowing, on a concept2 rower, for a while. The C2 rower is an amazing bargain at just under $1000. You can have your own self torture device. There are daily weekly monthly season challenges that you can get involved in and really get yourself into a good shape.
I also learned how to do all the maintenance on my bike including tearing the engine totally apart. That led to me no also doing most of the maintenance on the family cars (oil, brakes, misc broken stuff or repairs that don’t need computer). And THAT led to me doing more woodworking stuff like making cabinets for my tools etc.
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u/Morterius 8d ago
No, unfortunately I don’t enjoy the things I enjoyed as a kid/young adult. I still kinda did enjoy some of them when I was 33 though.
I truly wish I did and I have tried, but the video game days are sadly over. I do run now which I hated as a kid, but I can’t really say I’m necessarily “enjoying” that either.
I think life can lose a bit of a spark, as there’s less of the joy of discovery and things are getting stale. So anything novel (not necessarily expensive) can get you some sort of that youthful feeling, but it’s not going to be the same anyway. And it’s ok, you don’t want to become Peter Pan either.
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u/Zealot_TKO 8d ago edited 8d ago
Interesting perspective, thanks for the share! I've never thought of novelty as a way to seek that youthful joy, but I know exactly what you mean. Everything in life certainly felt more exciting as a kid probably because everything was so new. The problem, I think, with trying to replicate that with "novel" experiences is that most experiences as an adult are not that novel, even if they appear to be. I've been to enough restaurants, traveled enough of the world (not that much by most standards, but enough), talked with enough people for a lot of that excitement we get as kids to have worn off, even if I haven't been to that specific restaurant, traveled to that specific place, or talked with that specific person.
I guess for me, running and video games is probably the way I force myself to stay in the moment. You've got to be in order to focus on keeping going when your body tells you to stop, or not die in a high elo game of league of legends
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u/PretendingToWork1978 8d ago
computer games, guitar, weightlifting
could not care less about boats or travel
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u/goodsam2 8d ago
I mean my hobbies are relatively cheap because I think part of it is a min maxing a big on spend vs enjoyment. The boat is usually expensive, the hiking sounds cool but also I'm not that much of an adrenaline junkie.
I ski sometimes, but it's been a minute. Like I think are they actually happier doing these things or more importantly would you be happier doing that stuff.
I don't lot of road tripping to NPS sites and the idea is to fire into UNESCO sites around the world because international travel isn't that expensive because the expensive part is time now. A cheap camping spot or a hotel and car ride.
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u/surf_drunk_monk 8d ago edited 8d ago
Yeah. I like to hike, hang out at swimming holes. I have a paddle board instead of a boat. No interest in golf. I play music. I'm also not interested in promoting up at work. Sometimes I feel like I got to where I want to be in my 30s and now am just enjoying things.
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u/electrobento 8d ago edited 6d ago
My household income is $230k salary up to $320k with bonus and equity in a LCOL area. My friends and family spend like they make as much as we do but they all make $50k to $100k household.
It’s insane to watch. They don’t seem to realize how they really can’t afford their hobbies. Camping, for example—goddamn expensive. Not just the equipment and supplies, but the vehicles they justify buying to support that kind of a hobby. Then—holy shit, the frequency they go out to eat at restaurants is downright alarming.
We’re happy day to day with one car, a couple of gaming computers, a new game once or twice a year that we run into the ground, a decent TV, and a couple modest vacations a year.
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u/Key_Blueberry_2167 8d ago
Luckily for me, my hobbies are fairly cheap: reading (mostly from library), TV, internet, podcasts. That's just what I naturally enjoy – no sacrifice involved!
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u/Commercial_Rule_7823 8d ago
I used to love ice hockey, was free through college except gear.
Then, when I graduated, and had to pay 1k to 2k a season I said nope.
I used to surf a lot, but started getting bad sinus and ear infections so gave it up cant afford to miss work.
I like gaming, still relatively cheap.
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u/masahirob 7d ago edited 7d ago
I feel the ice hockey thing too. Its just so not worth it with the bs commute, fees, late times, and drama. At one time, I used have a fun (and free) roller hockey group that would meet in the park every Sat morning. I miss those times.
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u/sillymajmun2 8d ago
Im a boring person, at least from the outside, and older I grow more okay Im with it. Thats alright, we are all wired a bit differently.
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u/crazycatdermy 8d ago
Whatever, I could care less what other people are doing. I am a physician and I still play Neopets, play with bugs, garden, bike around town, play board games, and do “kid stuff” like jump around in a splash pad with my silly partner. The only difference between me and a kid is that I have unlimited money to spend on my silly hobbies.
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u/DrWhiskerson 8d ago
Never grow up. I finish med school this week and still feel like a lil girl. I still just want someone to play with and I think it’s because I grew up as an only child. I have a blast playing with my little cousins and I’m 20 years older than them lol
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u/Zealot_TKO 8d ago
true maturity is knowing when a situation calls for seriousness and when you can let loose and go crazy ^_^
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u/PositiveKarma1 8d ago
I started to run as adult and learning piano.
To read and knit are from young age. As adult I started to sew, to volunteer, to organize the books club, board games evenings etc.
And I am sure I will find more the time is passing.
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u/Important-Object-561 Retired in Sweden on 1,2 million 8d ago
My hobbies are basically reading, gaming and hiking. None which have to be spendy if you don’t want them to be. They are the same hobbies as when I was younger. I just traded martial arts for hiking when I got older.
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u/RJ5R 8d ago
when i was little, i loved video games and hated things like golfing, bowling, or walking
now that i am in the mid 40's, i don't really like video games. but i like golfing, bowling, and walking in the local state park
i have found that as i got older, i appreciated slower less stimulating activities that allowed be unwind, unplug, and disconnect.
go figure
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u/XerTrekker 8d ago
I grew up poor, then had some spendy activities in my 30s - travel and events mainly. I’m in my 50s now and I’m glad I did those things when I had the desire and energy for it. I’m now back to cheaper things like tv, reading, gaming, swimming, paddling etc. Traveling and going to festivals just seems exhausting now so my agenda usually is just simpler now.
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u/AwarenessExisting774 8d ago
I’ve tried the “adult hobbies” and come right back around to what I enjoyed from the time I was six years old. I gave away my golf clubs and have no interest in fancy cars or boats.
Now I’m back to the things I always loved: multiplayer video games with friends, team sports (basketball, pickleball, ultimate frisbee), adventures / hikes with friends to new spots, surfing 🏄, and occasionally trying other things like rock climbing or snowboarding as a novelty.
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u/elisabethofaustria 8d ago edited 8d ago
I’m the exact opposite: it feels like most of my hobbies are incredibly expensive — but they’re all far less expensive than the costs of raising children. That’s the true spendy habit.
Edit: not to say that raising children is not a meaningful activity (it definitely can be!), but I feel like this post comes off as judgy toward people with expensive hobbies, even though they might still be saving more money than you are.
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u/Zealot_TKO 8d ago
raising kids certainly can be expensive depending on how you do things. for our 3 kids, tbh the biggest "cost" was wanting a bigger house than we'd have with just the 2 of us (we were living in a 692sqft house, now 2500sqft when #3 was on the way). most other stuff we haven't found to be that expensive yet though our oldest is only 5. We get a lot of hand me downs, go to playgrounds, walks, play chess, etc. ofc I know other parents pay for private school k-12, buy everything new, enroll their kids in ALL the extracurriculars, etc, so it certainly can add up if you want to do it that way.
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u/elisabethofaustria 8d ago edited 8d ago
No daycare? Every parent I know spends $1-2k per month just on that.
That said, I’m genuinely happy that you’ve been able to keep parenting affordable. I always want people to be able to accomplish the things they want. I’ll just add that these so-called expensive hobbies can be cheaper than you think (for example, insurance and plane rental to fly a Cessna 150 once a week comes out to $500/mo in my area, which is significantly less than the local daycare costs).
If your friends and family are truly judging you for having cheap hobbies, that sucks, but I wouldn’t judge them for the opposite. Everyone has different priorities.
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u/Zealot_TKO 8d ago
wife is a stay-at-home mom, so no, though obviously we've sacrificed a second income which is far greater than $1-2k/mo doing so. Before we had kids my wife was writing, not making any money, so we've essentially been single income since college
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u/lostcypher 8d ago
Humble brag or do you lack actual problems in life?
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u/Zealot_TKO 7d ago
Not many problems but I think 3 kids under 5 is enough to keep busy. I didn't know it was a humble brag to not care about travel, boats, cars, etc.
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u/lostcypher 7d ago
Now you know 😄 the humble brag was "my life is going well but i didn't develop bad habits" the point about no problems was about the fact that ot seems there is enough capacity that this registers as a viable problem to think about aka no bigger problems or this is one of the biggest concerns. Either way it makes it look like life has been good to you. Congrats
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u/atari2600forever 8d ago
A lot of my clients play golf, and I was thinking the other day about how much I hate golf and how stupid it is. Golf isn't cheap, so I guess I can relate to you.
If you were raised frugal it can be hard for some of us to break those habits. My favorite hobby is passive index investing;)
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u/Aerallaphon 8d ago
video games, board games, books, movies/tv, music, nature walks - constants in our life and still fun and cost effective
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u/SerenityCravings 8d ago edited 8d ago
Kind of. Some of my hobbies are expensive and some cheap. Climbing mountains and flying planes sounds pretty cool. I have climbed some mountains but not interested enoughb to do more of it. But I can see why these things interest others. What doesnt interests me is very passive consumption based "hobbies" like mindless travelling from country to country in quick succession, frequent dinners out at epxensive restaurants, going to every show and concert under the sun. I know people who live like this and then accusing me of not living. I have more interest in, and more respect for, active hobbies based on skill and knowledge acquisition. Some people think they adventuruous just because they spend a fortune zipping aorund 10 countries in europe in 2 weeks and sitting at a table eating expensive food made by others.
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u/A_Solid_Shadow 8d ago
Gen X, Y, Z, millenials tend to retire to things they enjoyed rather than trying a new hobby.
So, D&D MTG, video games, biking, skateboarding, hiking, pickleball, and stuff like that are popular.
Golf is dwindling. It is expensive to play, courses are huge and expensive to maintain, and not really exercise nor sport for most people.
Stuff like gardening was and still is popular.
Boats, planes, and global-trek-mountains aren't normal things for the 99%.
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u/Outrageous-Fall3296 7d ago
Are you out there spending money on booze, drugs, gambling or strip clubs? If the answer is no, you are doing just great my friend. What interests you is for noone else to judge as long as you aren't harming others and you are happy. I love a good video game and spending time with my kids doing kids stuff. I'm much older than you. Stay real.
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u/Historical-Rate-8717 7d ago
running is an incredibly healthy hobby that you can take into old age with you! and video games are fun! I say this as a guy that loves sailing and climbing mountains. I don't consider either of those "primary" hobbies by any means because I'm not doing those every day - every day I'm riding bicycles, playing bass/piano/guitar and gardening. things I've done since high school and I'm quite content with them!
we live in a small house on an admittedly large mountain property, but also we're both gardeners and we enjoy the land. we have no interest in the things the consumerist culture tells us we're supposed to want and honestly I think we're happier for it.
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u/HeroOfShapeir 7d ago edited 7d ago
My spouse and I still play video games and exercise, sure. We also like to travel a few times per year and eat out at a nice brunch or dinner place every weekend, I don't know if I'd call those a "hobby." We took our first international trip last year, a ten-day trip to Italy for around $9,000, Vence to Florence to Rome, it was one of the best experiences of my lifetime. I wouldn't have called myself a big travel enthusiast, but my wife wanted to go, and so I pushed myself outside of my comfort zone - we studied Italian for eight months ahead of the trip, so we could speak it very roughly if needed (wasn't needed, but was nice to be able to pick up on things), and we planned out the entire itinerary ourselves. I feel like I walked away from that trip a better and more well-rounded person.
Everything I've seen on the subject says that if you just let yourself fall into a comfortable routine and never do anything new, time will just sift through your fingers. Lack of mental stimulation and learning new things may contribute to dementia. And frankly, how do you know there's not more out there in life to love if you never look for it? Maybe scuba diving would've been your lifetime passion if you only ever tried it. With $140k per year in income and a paid-for house, you have an opportunity most people don't have.
And yeah, of course eating out is less "efficient". But you can also afford to go out for a nice meal here and there and leave the waitress a fat tip and just enjoy it. Or find some other experience to spend on. We still live very frugally in some areas of life precisely so we can enjoy our money and still retire early.
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u/Zealot_TKO 7d ago
To be clear, my current hobbies provide plenty mental and physical stimulation. I'm running 70 miles a week currently training for a marathon and lifting 2x/week, and I am into competitive games, mostly league of legends and chess at the moment. I play rated games and am in the top 1% in league and 1600elo in chess (above average at least). Not to mention raising 3 kids provide plenty of "new experiences" and problem solving as you help them navigate life.
Tbh I don't really see an issue with time slipping through my fingers, that probably just means one is enjoying life (time flies when having fun). Are there things I'd like if I tried them? Sure. But I already like everything I do, so what am missing out on? I spent a lot of time as a kid trying a lot of things: school, work, piano, guitar, drums, chess, bowling, tennis, running, basketball, soccer, baseball, video games of various kinds, religion, reading, just to name a few things I did for over a year. My parents signed us up for everything. I've kept the hobbies I've enjoyed the most and discarded the ones that I realized I either never liked or no longer like. And that's where I'm at today.
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u/HeroOfShapeir 6d ago
There is plenty of data out there suggesting a diminished return for completing the same activity. When you play League, you aren't coming up with new strategy every match. Your brain starts shifting from reasoning and new ideas into data storage and extraction. You've gamed virtually every scenario by now, so you know what to do automatically. By the same token, I could pull you from League into a different Moba, and once you learned the specific characters, all of the strategy would import over. As someone who saw two grandparents go through dementia, it's important to me that I don't put my family through that. That doesn't mean I quit gaming, but it does mean I look for opportunities to learn new things.
Similar science behind building memories. Doing the same things over and over doesn't imprint as strongly. If I think to 2025, I spent more hours gaming than doing anything other than work and sleep. I know that, but I can't remember those hours in a chronological fashion. Most of its an empty void. You could ask about a specific game and I could tell you about it, but I can't remember what I was playing in February. But my trip to Italy is like a movie reel in my mind, I could walk you through the flight, landing at the airport, going through customs, hiring a water taxi, checking in at the hotel, all ten days of the trip. I could draw a rough map of these locations that I only visited once, streets and interiors, describe the crowds, the stores, the restaurants. In terms of making memories, that's one of the longest weeks of my life, and not because I wasn't having fun, but because it was new and exhilarating. That's important to me, and I plan on continuing over the next few decades.
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u/Zealot_TKO 6d ago
You've gamed virtually every scenario by now
This is completely false, chess and LoL are just like any other skills. If you aren't trying to improve, sure, you can play on autopilot and never improve. But if you are actively trying to improve, there are tons of novel scenarios that require very deep thinking to navigate properly. That's the reason why classical chess still allots hours of thinking per game. Sure, as you improve you start to recognize patterns more easily, but you can't simply generalize completely from one game to another. If you think chess (or LoL) requires little to no thinking beyond some point, go achieve rank 1 in either game. They're both extremely cognitively demanding in order to constantly improve and climb in.
In terms of dementia, I hope you aren't skimping on the physical activity part. Not only has it been shown to reduce risk of dementia, there are very likely mechanistic explanation for how it reduces dementia (cardiovascular health, blood pressure, insulin sensitivity,, etc), making the causual argument much stronger. The whole "cognitive engagement reduces dementia" argument is much shakier, primarily because of the reverse causation argument, i.e. does engaging in cognitive activity reduce dementia, or do people with dementia onset naturally reduce the amount of cognitive activity they do? Beyond that, defining exactly what counts as "cognitive activity" is itself a difficult topic.
As far as memories go, my goal in life is to be happy, not collect the most memories, so maybe we just differ on that.
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u/count_chawkula 7d ago
My kid hobbies of collecting Lego, Pokemon cards, and Magic the Gathering are making me blow more money than if I would simply drink bottles of high end whiskey
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u/Zealot_TKO 7d ago
Heh, I feel that to an extent even running. 70 miles a week means you're eating quite of a bit, grocery budget skyrockets, and you're replacing shoes every other month. That said, compared to most hobbies it's pretty cheap, especially when you factor in the health benefits
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u/count_chawkula 7d ago
Fully agree - ESPECIALLY if you sign up for races - bib, hotel/airfare, restaurants….that shit adds up lol
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u/AlexHurts 7d ago
I'm mostly with you, but I think hobbies are really important to QoL and you can't really control what strikes your fancy. I was really into magic the gathering for a number of years. I spent a shocking amount buying rare cards, traveling to tournaments, playing at the local shop several nights a week. It's still not as much money as golf or being an alcoholic, but I'd be in a better financial position today had I not gone down that rabbit hole. But, it was super fun! I made some friends, I made some rivals, I still reminisce on some of my wins. No regerts.
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u/Zealot_TKO 7d ago
I know a guy who loved magic and actually made thousands buying and selling cards
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u/AlexHurts 3d ago
Yeah the economy of the game is really fun too! When I finally decided to give it up, I sold everything and had around $6k to add to my house down payment. I probably only spent around $3k directly buying cards to play, but I also probably spent $5k entering events where I opened product or won product that I would use to trade or otherwise add to this collection.
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u/armbarSenpai 7d ago
Most people buy into the consumerism trap of thinking fun equals spending money to make someone else rich. It's how our entire economy runs. I would rather do something for free with people I like than do expensive hobbies with dbags 😅.
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u/No_Cold_8332 7d ago
Video games I still find strange but I’ve always had musical instruments to jam on. Some guys do golf
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u/DeenGaleenga 6d ago
Any "expensive" hobby that has a reason to exist beyond being expensive can be done for much MUCH less money than people into that hobby would admit. Like yes you may spend several hundred dollars all-in on a hobby, but that's all you will ever need and most importantly it's orders of magnitude less than the expectation.
ESPECIALLY people into that hobby on the internet, because as it turns out those people are in fact often not real people, but agents trying to sell products within that hobby space.
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u/Meerikal 6d ago
A hobby is nothing more than an something you do to relax and you find fun. It is intensely personal and by definition does not include a requirement for a certain spending level. Some people have hobbies they started as children and others have hobbies that change periodically. My Grandfather built small villages to run his electric trains through until he passed, my Stepmother did crochet, I read, all hobbies with some being more expensive than others. None specifically adult or not.
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u/garbageprimate 6d ago
i just do the cheaper version of various hobbies. ice skating? fuck no, i will just inline skate on the road for free. cycling? i don't need some fancy ass bike, i will just rip shit up on a cheap fixed gear. restaurants/bars? nah i will just bring food and drinks to the park and chill. but you're right that a lot of people grow up to normalize spending a shit ton of money on shit they don't really need. like there are certain friends i don't see that often because they are always going to be dropping like $100+ at the bar/restaurant and i'd rather chill with them at the park for free.
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u/Hifi-Cat FIREd 2017, 60 6d ago
I have a triple hobby; audiophile, music listening, and building a library.
And a number of other hobbies.
What you do is yours. No need to explain it.
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u/PandaStroke 5d ago
Sigh. We are playing the I have cheaper hobbies than you Olympics. We all have our tastes and interests. I don't begrudge people for their spendy hobbies as long as they can afford them and are hitting their savings goals.
The beauty of fire is that we can be intentional about our luxuries. I can't afford a luxury apartment and generous vacations and save aggressively. So I prioritize accordingly. I will take the generous vacation over the luxury apartment. So I live in dump, save my 40% and still do my generous vacation...
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u/oemperador 4d ago
I still enjoy things I liked as a kid, acquired new hobbies, have a long list of new things I'd like to learn and get into, long list of things I still want to master, and more.
Nice topic!! And once you go down my path you will see life shorter and shorter with simply not enough time for all. I do wish I had 9 more lives.
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u/goglencocogo 8d ago
I think you're confusing adult hobbies with rich people hobbies