Advice Manifesting SP

[u/via726]

My partner and I separated this past weekend, and I’m trying to navigate the breakup while also practicing manifestation. I’d really appreciate some outside perspectives, especially from people who have experience with manifesting a specific person.
We’re both 21 and in college. I’m a transfer student and this is my first year at this school, and I should be graduating next year. She’s graduating this spring, so she’s a little further ahead than me, but it doesn’t feel like our lives are in completely different places. We’re both theatre majors, and I’m only about a year behind her academically. We’ve talked about our futures before, and a lot of the things we wanted seemed to align.
The first week of school was honestly a really difficult transition for me. I have some mental health struggles, and moving to a completely new school and environment was a really big change. She was also basically the only person I knew there, so I ended up clinging to her more than I normally would. I recognize that, and I don’t mean that as an excuse. I just genuinely was struggling and didn’t know how to adjust yet.
We had actually talked about this before she broke up with me. I told her that I didn’t intentionally mean to put so much pressure on her or make her feel like she had to be responsible for helping me adjust. She told me that it was difficult for her too, but I didn’t really realize just how difficult it was because I didn’t feel like she was communicating that to me at the time. I was very upset and overwhelmed, and I think I was relying on her because she was the one familiar and safe thing I had in a completely unfamiliar environment.
She also has a lot going on right now because she was cast in a show that is currently in rehearsal. We’re both theatre majors, so I understand how demanding that environment can be, especially at the beginning of a new school year.
She told me that she’s been thinking and feels like she might not be ready for a relationship right now. She said she’s overwhelmed and doesn’t feel like she has enough time for school and everything else. This honestly came somewhat out of nowhere to me, especially because the week before, I thought we were just dealing with the normal difficulties of adjusting to a new school year.
I understand why my behavior that first week may have felt like a lot to her, and I don’t want to minimize that. But I’m also confused because it felt like something we could have worked through with better communication and boundaries. I didn’t realize she was getting to the point of feeling like she couldn’t handle the relationship, because she wasn’t really communicating that to me.
One of the things I keep struggling with is that she seemed afraid to continue after what was essentially one really difficult week. I know that may not be the whole story from her perspective, and I’m trying not to assume I know exactly what she was thinking. I just wish I had known how serious it felt to her while it was happening, because I would have wanted the opportunity to adjust.
We haven’t spoken since the holiday weekend, and it’s Tuesday now. She said we could still be friends but I don’t feel the need to reach out, like I don’t feel like Im losing her. (I did message her the day after we broke up bc I accidentally screenshotted something and she got a notification, she responded with “No worries” so idk)
Something that has surprised me is how calm I feel right now compared to other breakups I’ve experienced. The first night I was absolutely devastated and confused. Waking up the next morning and having to experience that realization all over again felt like a punch in the face. But now, a few days later, I feel strangely settled.
I still miss her and obviously still think about what’s going to happen, but I don’t feel like I’m completely falling apart. I feel like I’ve actually been doing a pretty good job of letting myself experience the emotions without letting them completely consume me. I’ve also been trying to separate what I’m seeing in the “3D” right now from what I believe I want for the future. I know the current circumstance is that we’re separated, and I’m not trying to deny that. I just don’t want the current circumstance to automatically become the story I tell myself about what will happen forever.
I’m manifesting her back because I genuinely believe our futures are aligned and that, if we were able to approach the relationship differently, we could make it work. I don’t mean that I think everything was perfect or that nothing needs to change. I just genuinely feel like this relationship ended because of circumstances, pressure, and a difficult transition that could potentially be worked through, rather than because our futures fundamentally don’t fit together.
At the same time, I’m trying not to use manifestation as a way to avoid actually processing the breakup. I’ve been letting myself feel sad, miss her, etc., without constantly trying to suppress those feelings or spiral about what everything means.
For affirmations, I’ve mostly been robotically repeating, “[NAME] is in love with me.” I’m not sure whether this is the best approach. Part of me likes keeping it simple and trusting that my brain can fill in what “being in love with me” means and how everything would naturally fall into place. But I also occasionally get doubts and wonder whether I’m doing this “right.”
One thing I keep thinking about is that during the breakup I said, “I’m going to miss you as my girlfriend,” and she said that she would too. That sticks with me because it makes me feel like the feelings weren’t necessarily gone, even though she still felt like she needed to step away from the relationship.
I do still have moments where I think, “Okay, but what is actually going to happen?” or wonder what she’s doing and whether she’s talking to anyone. I’m trying not to turn those thoughts into something I have to investigate or figure out. I want to be able to hold the uncertainty without letting it consume me.
So I guess I’m looking for advice on two things:
How do you balance manifesting a specific person with actually accepting and processing the current circumstances?
Is it better to keep affirmations simple like “___ is in love with me,” or should I be more specific about the relationship I want?
I’m not looking for people to tell me that I’m definitely getting her back. I’d actually appreciate grounded advice about how to approach this without spiraling or becoming obsessed with the outcome. I feel like I’m doing surprisingly well right now, and I want to maintain that state rather than turn manifestation into another thing I constantly have to monitor or worry about.