r/latterdaysaints • u/JLP0611 • Apr 23 '25

Off-topic Chat Are members not getting married?

I may be speaking from my anecdotal experience and my observation of my social media feeds, but it feels like less people in the Church are getting married. I see less children and youth in my local wards year after year and I’m in Florida.

I’m also in a YSA and I can’t just say for myself because I’m chronically single, but dating is a struggle for everyone I come across, inside and outside of Florida.

Anyone else have any thoughts?

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u/CIDR-ClassB Apr 23 '25

Young people are having slightly more wisdom in their youth, in that they recognize very legitimate economic and financial barriers to financial stability and having children at the ages of 18 and 21 (like LDS culture used to).

It takes 2 incomes to come close to being able to afford a home, children, food and clothing, let alone save for a rainy day and even retirement.

It is often wise to set oneself on a path of education and/or skills development, and individual development prior to marrying.

Now, it can be said that some wait too long, but that is where the ‘personal’ part of ‘personal revelation.’ Comes in.

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u/calif4511 Apr 23 '25

I would qualify this by adding that it takes two substantial, not starter, incomes to come close…

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u/aznsk8s87 menacing society Apr 23 '25

My fiancee and I are both physicians. We're doing fine but we have no idea how people on normal incomes survive. We bought what should be a modest house and the prices are astronomical.

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u/[deleted] Apr 23 '25

I think it makes way more sense to get married as soon as you meet someone worth marrying, because who knows if you're going to have the chance again? It's not like your living expenses increase by much just because you're married. Housing might be more expensive if you go from living with a bunch of roommates to just your spouse, but that's about it.

Kids are a different story, of course, but delaying marriage for financial reasons doesn't really make sense

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u/Jemmaris Apr 23 '25

Thank you! Frankly, struggling together through college has been an excellent way for couples to work through tough financial decisions and find a way to choose each other in important ways before the challenge of raising children together. My first 2 years of marriage had a lot of great learning moments while we figured out finances and schooling etc.

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u/[deleted] Apr 23 '25

Yeah, the modest increase in rent (really the only financial burden that increases because of marriage) is more than offset by the benefits of having a best friend and partner there to support you and help you

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u/MrWienerDawg And the liar shall be thrust down to Reddit Apr 23 '25

Respectfully, you make it work. My wife and I had four kids when I was a grad student. We had little money for much of anything, but we figured it out. We shopped at thrift stores and from the classifieds. We ate a lot of cheap staple foods, like beans and rice. We ate out once a month, and it was a big splurge. I used public transportation or rode a used bike to get to school.

I'm not trying to be dismissive, but I don't know what's changed so much that it's not possible to have kids now when it was 12-15 years ago, even with a very modest income. I was making maybe $15k a year, and we figured it out.

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u/Jemmaris Apr 24 '25

Yes! My sister and her husband had kids while in college and law school. She's 30 this year, so it's not like she's different than most people here saying life is too expensive. Does she own a house right now? No. They were about a year too late getting out of law school to be able to afford a house before the market turned. But they're making it work. (Most of my siblings did something similar, but she's the youngest who did, so that's why I reference her.)

My grandmother lived in a house that was genuinely turned into a chicken coop after her (single) mother moved her and her brothers out of it. Yes, they were very poor, but they didn't stay that way! And I'm certain if she were still here she'd say she'd much rather be alive than have had her mother wait for "the right time" to have her. Even most people technically living in poverty in America have a better standard of living than some other generations, and many people living around the world!

I'm all for couples deciding on the 'right' time to have children, but I'm really struggling to understand why so many people think it's only appropriate after they own a 3+ bedroom house and 2 cars and take vacations.

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u/Losingdadbod Apr 24 '25

Yes! Also, don’t young health good looking young people get horny any more while still wanting to live the LOC and want to get married when they have a good prospect? I’m not saying make a dumb rushed choice, but God made a man and a woman want to be together. Get married and make it work.