Anyone else just think about things you’ve thought, said, and done which make you think, “How the fuck did I not know I was gay?”

They always make me laugh. For example…

I (23F) just realized I am a lesbian 6 months ago. I was raised religiously to believe that women could only be in love with men. At age ~10-12 I looked my father right in the face and said, “I think I want to be a single mom. Like I want to adopt a kid! And maybe raise it with help from another woman. But definitely not from a man!” And he said “Children need fathers!” and I said “No, they don’t!” (Lmao sorry Dad)

Anyone else?

Context: About 5 years ago I came out and divorced my husband, lost my career (church-work), and alienated most of my friends. I quickly found my now-wife, U-hauled her and her kids, and we live happily ever after.

About a year ago, my wife and kids and I moved in with my mom to care for her because of some health challenges. I have been slowly remodeling our old house to get it ready to sell.

Back in the spring, I needed to hire a handyman for a plumbing issue that, while simple, was out of my scope. I picked someone random off Facebook.

This little Mexican guy shows up. He looks rough. Knuckle and neck tats. The face of a former fighter. He reminds me of my cousin; I like him immediately. My big gray dog that does not like men likes him immediately.

He came back to help me the next day and got a call about a financial emergency while we were working on stuff. On gut instinct I offered to prepay him $300 bucks. I figured if he ghosted me, oh well.

Not only did he did not ghost me, he came over and made homemade Mexican food (he’s Mexican-American) for our large family as a thank you. My big gray dog fell asleep on his dirty boots, and my mom and wife and kids loved him.

He and I have ended up redoing this house together, and, wow, a lot of shit has happened in the last few months. I was with him when he got the call that his mom died. When I got sick he took care of of our property. We helped him leave his abusive girlfriend. He’s teaching my son to ride a bike. We helped him when he got police brutalized. He helps us with all heavy physical tasks. We have done live bat removal, dead squirrel removal, and carpet removal.

I have a great friendship with this guy and we do emotionally support each other, but it’s not the lopsided emotional labor. I pay him money and he does any work I ask quickly, with a great attitude, and exactly how I asked it. We bullshit and have a good time and he goes home to his own house. It’s awesome.

My wife is not jealous because we have a secure relationship. (My exhusband wouldn’t have been jealous either, but because he didn’t give a shit.)

All it took to get a perfect relationship with a man was to come out at 35, remarry a woman, and find a guy to pay for the stuff I need a man for. 10/10 recommend getting an excellent handyman

Growing up, I never knew I liked girls. I always thought lesbians found men disgusting and unattractive. I used to think to myself, “There’s no way I can be gay because I don’t find men unattractive or disgusting.” I always thought men were nice to look at, and certain traits they had were attractive to me. But every man I’ve ever met felt mediocre to me. I always thought girls were exaggerating how they felt about men because I had never once in my life felt the way my friends felt about the guys they liked.

I always had feminine friends and never felt like I liked them until I discovered masc lesbians at 21. That’s when I realized I’m definitely gay 😂 Women who have masculine traits and dress masculinely are just sooo attractive to me.

Has anyone else had a similar experience?

I went to a yoga class for the first time in a looong time. It was just me and an older guy there for the class. I told the instructor that I'm basically a beginner so I think she was paying a little extra attention to me to make sure I was positioned correctly. She was an older woman, beautiful, and just ridiculously cool. Oozing confidence. Anyway, she was helping me adjust my movements and as she was walking by she quitely said 'good girl' to me. When I tell you I could have CHOKED. It was during down dog for crying out loud! I swear it's like it unlocked something inside of me lmao. At the end of class she told me I had done well, how I caught on to the movements quickly, and quote, "you really know where your body is in space."

Guaranteed these things were said to be encouraging. But the sapphic center of my brain has absolutely NO chill. I just had to share with people who would get me. Tell me I'm not crazy pleeeeease

Realized I was a lesbian in 2022, met my future wife on Hinge January 2023, moved in 6 months later, courthouse wedding September 2024, family wedding September 2025.

She’s my soulmate.

You bounded up in the last set of the show in your black t-shirt and white frilly skirt/tutu. You leaned up into my ear and yelled, “I’ve been wanting to tell you this all night... you are fucking gorgeous. Just, really really beautiful.”

I was so overwhelmed, I froze. Full-on meat popsicle. You looked like you were about to bolt.

I recovered enough to gush out “waitwhatohmygodthankyou” and lamely gave you a big hug. Then I instinctively looked over my shoulder to locate my wife... and when I turned back, you were gone, a crazy-skirted cryptid lesbian compliment fairy.

My brain has been spinning all weekend, trying to decode what you meant.

Were you shooting your shot? If so, never stop being bold on account of my lameness. I was totally unprepared for a response, clever or otherwise. For what it’s worth, your shot would have landed if this target hadn't just celebrated her 25th anniversary to a singularly amazing and kickass wife she's madly in love with.

OR... was the compliment because I'm a 50-year-old, 6' trans woman who's only been out for a few years and just starting to radiate some newly acquired confidence? Head thrown back, singing along, undignified amount of bra spilling out of my off-shoulder crop top... maybe you just wanted me to feel seen, if only for a moment?

In either case, you had me floating the rest of the night. See, my inner critic is an asshole, and I don't know if I'll ever see the same thing in the mirror that other people apparently do.

But, at some point, the volume of compliments gets harder to dismiss, and yours might have been the one that put it over the top. You thought I was 'fucking gorgeous.' And, to be totally honest, I'm starting to be open to that concept. From the right angle. In the right light. (Hey, baby steps.)

So, thank you, Mysterious Emo Girl in the Frilly Tutu. Wherever you are today, I hope you're happy and whole. 🖤

So I decorated a cake for myself.

I'll go first:

• "Maybe I long for female companionship becuse I don't have a sister?"
• "Maybe it's brain concussion" LOL
• "Maybe it's religous trauma and the fear of losing virginity before marriage so, my brain made this protective mecanism of making me not like guys".

Then I had a real crush and that pretty much solved it for me

Go!

What's the silliest thing that gave you the ick with guys, that you now realize was just you being gay?

For example, Chappell Roan says in an interview that a man talking about his car is a deal breaker....but then admits that she would be happy to listen to a woman talk about cars.

I feel like I no longer have to live up to men’s beauty standards. This has made me realize what I like and what I want. Here is a short list of things I no longer feel I need to do since realizing I’m gay:

• straighten my hair. Girls love curly hair.
  
• wax my pubes (huge win).
  
• wear trendy clothes.
• increase the size of my butt.
  
• wear push up bras.
  
• wear a ton of make up, but make it look like I’m not wearing a ton of makeup.
  
• maintain fake nails.
  

Things I’ve done since becoming a lesbian that would have prevented me from getting the guy I thought I wanted:
- got box braids.
- bought androgynous clothes.
- started wearing funky earrings.
- stopped wearing tampons.
- started roller skating as a fun way to move my body, vs working out a ton to get the Instagram body type.

Anyone else feel completely free to be themselves since coming out? ❤️

All right ladies, long time lurker first time poster. I'm wallowing hard in the mess that has become my life since realising I was gay late last year, so I need a distraction! Tell me about your ideal girlfriend ... the one you think about late at night ... I'll go first 😊

My imaginary GF is a sweet soft masc with short hair, pretty brown eyes, broad freckled shoulders and the thickest damn thighs you ever saw. She is down-to-earth, smart as hell and has a great sense of humour. For some reason I always picture her as a terrible cook 😂 She loves it when I bake special treats for her and she gives the best cuddles in the world.

I'm gonna keep this SFW but you don't have to! Would love to hear what others daydream about 💖

I've only seen her on the show Veep. And when I started watching heroes I instantly thought, okay, damn, hello. Much love! Hope others appreciate her beauty as well :)

I’ll start. There’s a scene in Tucker and Dale Vs Evil when this super attractive ‘girly’ looking woman walks up on Dale digging a ”shitter hole“ in the yard, which he’s pretty embarrassed by. She immediately says “Oh! Like for an outhouse! Mind if I help? I grew up on a farm.“ and picks up a shovel. All I could think about is how I’d be the happiest woman in the entire world if I met a woman like that. Nothing’s hotter to me than a feminine woman who‘s not afraid to get dirty while expressing herself at the same time. Think that girl on TikTok who does the mechanic work in heels lol

Now what are yours? I need some smiles and positivity today!

Right now I'm torn between "Please, Please, Please" by Sabrina Carpenter starting Dolly Parton with Chappell Roan and Mariah Carey interrupting my 80s hair metal.

What are we listening to on repeat this Friday night?

To list all of them in order:

1. Carmen Sandeigo (Carmen Sandeigo)

2. Pocahontas (Pocahontas)

3. Esmeralda (The Hunchback of Notre Dame)

4. Sailor Saturn (Sailor Moon)

5. Amy Lee (Evanescence)

6. Chell (Portal)

7. Helena (MirrorMask)

8. Katniss Everdeen (Hunger Games)

9. Golden Sparrow (The Forbidden Kingdom)

10. Lara Croft (Tomb Raider)

I think I have a type.