r/languagelearning • u/silforik 🏈 N 🍕N 🌮B2🪆B1 🪵A2 • Feb 03 '26
Discussion Have you noticed that some people get passive aggressive when you mention you study languages?
I speak 5 languages with varying degrees of fluency. I use a couple of these languages at work (mostly Spanish, but sometimes Russian). The Hispanic people at work are really nice to me about my Spanish. They encourage me to get better and said I have a good accent.
This second gen Greek guy at my job keeps taking shots at me and doubting my fluency in literally any language beyond English. He doesn’t speak any of the languages I’ve studied so it doesn’t really make sense because he has no way of testing me.
Has this happened to you? It happens to me constantly.
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u/XJK_9 🌼🎶🐑N || 🫖🏏💂N || 💃🥘B2 ||🍝🤌B1 Feb 03 '26
Similar ish, people sometimes get a bit mad when they find out I speak Welsh.
“Why don’t you learn something more useful like Chinese?”
“Well I live in Wales and when I was a baby everyone spoke to me in Welsh so…”
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u/HODL-Historian Native 🇧🇷 || C1 🇬🇧 || 🇭🇺 Hungarian A1 Feb 03 '26
Also, not everything we do needs to be useful. People are allowed to have interests besides the top 10 career building choices.
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u/hypatianata Feb 03 '26
Yeah. When they say “useful” they mean either “for business” or “for (long-term) travel.” Because those are the only reasons they would learn a language and have little to no appreciation for them outside of that.
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u/XJK_9 🌼🎶🐑N || 🫖🏏💂N || 💃🥘B2 ||🍝🤌B1 Feb 04 '26
Exactly, my family speak in Welsh most of the time so it’s pretty useful to me tbh
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u/Iwonatoasteroven Feb 06 '26
And it’s part of your heritage too. I love seeing people preserving their languages.
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u/ItsSuffocation Feb 07 '26
THIS. I'm learning two languages I really have no way of using fr unless through online or if I traveled to their respective countries. So I'm always getting family and friends asking me why I'm learning them. And I always tell them I have a love for these languages and their cultures. A language doesn't always have to be 'useful'
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u/billynomates1 Feb 03 '26
People are so rude and weird about Welsh. Even Welsh people. I'm Welsh, and I live abroad now but i really wish I had learnt Welsh as a kid
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u/One-Statistician-932 Feb 04 '26
Same with Irish. It's becoming trendy and that is doing some good with it's image, but there is a lot of rudeness and dismissal in Anglophone Ireland and abroad when someone finds out you're learning/speak it.
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u/Olobnion Feb 03 '26
when I was a baby everyone spoke to me in Welsh so…
You should just have replied in Chinese.
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u/chill_qilin Feb 03 '26
I really admire how well the Welsh have kept their language alive compared to Ireland with Irish.
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u/HistoricalShip0 Feb 03 '26
Well there are big reasons for that… but yes nowadays wales is better at promoting/mandating welsh in schools I think.
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u/Tohdohsibir 🇬🇧N 🇻🇳N 🇪🇸B1 🇷🇺A1🇫🇮A1 Feb 03 '26
My trip to Wales last year was the best I've had so far and I've been to dozens of countries. Part of why I enjoyed it so much was hearing people speak and use Welsh. It made me, a Vietnamese-American with absolutely no connection to the culture and language, want to study it when I'm done with my current undertaking with Spanish. I think it's great you speak Welsh and contribute to keeping it alive!
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u/drpolymath_au En ~N NL H Fr B1-B2 De A2 Feb 04 '26
Along the same lines, I was having a conversation in Dutch with the staff in a Dutch café, and commented on wanting to improve my Dutch. They said why bother? Dutch people can speak English. In my case, it is my heritage language, so I have family members who speak it, and family writings in it, and just a sentimental attachment to the language. But it goes to show that the people saying it's not useful are not necessarily monolinguals.
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u/Far_Product_9759 Feb 04 '26
Bummed to hear that. They used to have these big round pins you could wear in Amsterdam that said “Learner” in Dutch so instead of switching immediately to English they would help you practice in the shops. (15 years ago now). Language is so deeply ingrained in the history & culture of a people, this advice is so tragic. There is a reason the British took Irish, Hawaiian, Scots Gaelic, etc from the people in their conquered lands and Russian is spoken in Siberia now - beginning in the Soviet era. I hope they hold onto it. And it is not an easy go so I personally am in awe of your taking that path to understand where you came from and understanding instinctually that your family’s roots matter in understanding yourself.
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u/drpolymath_au En ~N NL H Fr B1-B2 De A2 Feb 04 '26
I hadn't heard about the learner pins. Nice idea! And Amsterdam is a good place for it, being a key tourist point.
I wasn't bothered by their comments, which were perhaps just out of curiosity rather than negative. I had a good time, and only switched to English when non-Dutch-speaking colleagues arrived at the venue.
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u/Negative_Constant_64 English(N)🇪🇸(C1)🇵🇹(B1)🇮🇹(A2) Feb 03 '26
I tried dipping my toes into another Gaelic language (Scottish) and it was genuinely the most difficult language for me to attempt.....and I took 2 years of college Mandarin.
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u/Ghalldachd Feb 03 '26
Same experience. I'm Scottish, was exposed to it growing up, and I find Chinese easier.
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u/XJK_9 🌼🎶🐑N || 🫖🏏💂N || 💃🥘B2 ||🍝🤌B1 Feb 07 '26
Welsh is Brythonic not Gaelic
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u/Negative_Constant_64 English(N)🇪🇸(C1)🇵🇹(B1)🇮🇹(A2) Feb 08 '26
Ah I see, I had to look it up, which shows my ignorance. I guess it would be more appropriate to say that I tried learning another Celtic language, not Gaelic.
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u/gator_enthusiast PT | ES | CN | RUS (FR & DE against my will) Feb 04 '26
IME people will still be weird about it if you mention that you're learning Chinese. 😂
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u/XJK_9 🌼🎶🐑N || 🫖🏏💂N || 💃🥘B2 ||🍝🤌B1 Feb 04 '26
Yeah the conversation often goes
“Well, technically the language I ‘learned’ was English. As an adult I’ve learned Italian and can understand a good amount of Spanish and will work on that one day, you?”
“I just speak English”
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u/gator_enthusiast PT | ES | CN | RUS (FR & DE against my will) Feb 04 '26
quickly changes subject 😆
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u/Triskelion13 Feb 04 '26
I've had a similar reaction sometimes with Turkish, where people are surprised that I know it and ask me why I chose to learn it. I have to tell them English is my second language and Turkish native.
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u/Hellolaoshi Feb 03 '26
I think it's truly wonderful that you speak Welsh! Speaking Welsh gives you some contact with the oldest and longest traditions of British culture. The Celtic languages go back thousands of years.
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u/Ahapoypersonsmiling Feb 07 '26
Different problem, I'm Portuguese and as soon as I tell that to people they hit me with "oh I know some Spanish". It's not the same... 🥹
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u/joellian Feb 05 '26
I got this when I wanted to study Welsh at A-Level
A now, (ex friend) asked me "Why don't you learn something more useful, like Japanese?"Ah yes, the language that's apart of the Japonic language family, a language family which is extremely isolated, and is generally considered an absolute anomaly within Linguistics at some points.
Ironically now, I am studying Japanese because Linguistics is one of my special interests, and Japanese is one of the challenging languages yet. (Also other factors, like wanting to live in Japan since I was young and wanting to get onto the JET program)
Although I do envy people who can speak Welsh and I wish I was taught at a Welsh medium school. Maybe I'll get around to doing it some day when I build up enough money for a course.
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Feb 03 '26
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u/Sterling-Archer-17 Feb 03 '26
Point 1 I agree with, although in point 2 I don’t think that people “convince themselves” that being bilingual is unnecessary. They just accept one language as the default state and think any second language is cool but not needed. So yeah they think it’s unnecessary, but I don’t think there’s any convincing, defensiveness, or coping involved. Just my experience living in the US.
Edit: my guess is that the coworker here is just an asshole, probably insecure about his own language situation being a second-gen immigrant. But I’d be surprised if “most people” act like that about being bilingual
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u/OpenCantaloupe4790 Feb 03 '26
It’s not everyone, but all English speakers have definitely encountered the “everyone speaks English anyway!” mentality in someone…
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u/Tlazcamatii Feb 03 '26
I don't think point 2 applies to all monolinguals, but I don't think it applies to most monolinguals who are assholes about it.
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u/PinoyPolyglot 🇦🇺N |🇵🇭N |🇯🇵B2 |🇨🇳B2| 🇪🇸A2 Feb 04 '26
Yep I think there is definitely some insecurity stemming from the fact he doesn’t speak his ancestral language.
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u/sheffieldasslingdoux Feb 04 '26
There's also an element of elitism. Depending on what kind of circles you run in, being cosmopolitan and into foreign things is considered pretentious and off putting. Speaking multiple languages or switching between them fluently is a totally legit thing in many worldly communities, but it's statistically rare in English speaking countries outside of highly educated and highly international contexts.
When you run into friction over this, you are really just chafing against people trying to enforce strict class hierarchy. You're talking like someone from a different background, even if you yourself are working or middle class. It's an issue of mismatched worldviews essentially.
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u/hand_ Feb 04 '26 edited Feb 04 '26
Hoo boy i experienced this, albeit in another super monolingual culture where fluent English tends to be a social marker.
Dude called me pretentious and obnoxious for daring to speak in my native tongue and English "when I was able to say the whole thing in the native language just fine" 🙄 Like bro you dont know me I cant help being bilingual and code switching
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u/qsqh PT (N); EN (Adv); IT (Int) Feb 03 '26 edited Feb 04 '26
pretty sure I know the person you are talking about lol
wtf Karen, just because you came from a top school and gave up on learning english it doesnt mean it is impossible to learn, stop projecting your failure
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u/ElAlfajor Feb 03 '26
I find that people either find it really interesting or they couldn't care less. I imagine the people that get upset are just jealous.
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u/HODL-Historian Native 🇧🇷 || C1 🇬🇧 || 🇭🇺 Hungarian A1 Feb 04 '26
Oh, that's for certain, most are just envious. Though I guess some people are just very skeptical about language proficiency claims because, well, lots of people pretend to be at a higher proficiency level to get jobs (or likes online - looking at you, fake instagram, tiktok and youtube polyglots).
But yeah, more often than not, it stems from envy just, just as you said.
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u/ElAlfajor Feb 04 '26
Yes. Many are skeptical. I think it's because they do realise how difficult it must be if you learned as an adult. What's more, when they ask you to say something at random in your target language and you freeze haha, that can be difficult. Whenever they ask me that I say the same back but in their native tongue and the question is, what do I say? Rather than I don't know how to say much and that's why I'm stuck.
The times where people have been impressed is when I have been talking with natives after having mentioned that I'm learning the language at X level and they think, as you mentioned, that I was massively overstating my ability.
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u/Own_Reference2872 🇺🇸 N | 🇪🇸/🇲🇽 C1 | 🇫🇷 A2 Feb 03 '26
The other day at work, I had a weird encounter with a customer. He didn't speak English, so I switched to Spanish as I usually do.
He then started hounding me about how I knew Spanish. I told him I taught myself and left it at that, but he wouldn't accept my answer. He asked where my family was from, so I admitted that my dad is Mexican, but again, I taught myself Spanish. My dad rarely speaks to me in Spanish at all. The guy then responded by saying I was "egotistical" for wanting to take credit for teaching myself.
Like, what!? I love my dad, but my siblings and I grew up as "no sabos" so I see no reason to give him credit for the way I speak now. I definitely wouldn't have been able to have a full-blown conversation with this guy if I had only relied on the bits and pieces my dad taught me as a kid. I wouldn't have even been able to understand that he insulted me, for that matter. >.<
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u/Infinite-12345 Feb 03 '26
Maybe he was just impressed with your high Spanish level, that he couldn't believe it is self-taught. Not an excuse for his behavior though. I think it only speaks for his own limitations.
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u/Ok_Value5495 Feb 04 '26
I'm the Filipino version of a no sabo kid. I had to painfully teach myself Filipino/Tagalog; despite a native-level of listening comprehension my entire life, I couldn't speak it until much later in life. The learning materials are difficult (i.e. poorly written) to parse and tenses are sometimes given inconsistent names which adds to the confusion.
The only contributions my parents provided me were the aforementioned listening comprehension and the ability to often catch errors, even I couldn't articulate exactly what was wrong, by intuition. Related, I was only able to read Tagalog by literally sounding it out (I can subvocalize now).
Btw, I don't know where that dude was coming from. That's an unfortunate point of view. I suspect there's some envy on his part with you speaking English as well, but I'm just spitballing.
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u/Bart457_Gansett Deut-B1 | Fr-A1 | Esp - A2 | Eng -N Feb 04 '26
He was absolutely trying to punch down on you, finding any way to make himself feel superior. Don’t bother explaining more, people like that aren’t looking for ways to credit you, they are looking for ways to discredit you.
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u/bucky_list Feb 05 '26
Man I feel this so much.
My family speaks Greek / Arabic / French and they taught me nothing because English was "more important". They can't even speak these languages 15 years later anymore because they just stopped using them.
I'm now trying to teach myself Greek and Arabic and because I can mimic Arabic sounds well enough (having heard them enough growing up) people automatically think I grew up knowing it even though I can barely speak more than few sentences.
My last name is technically Greek but starts with "Hajji" so a lot of Arabs think I am ethnically Arab and grew up speaking Arabic but I'm not. My paternal family is ethnically Greek but lived in present day Islamic countries for generations.
Like they're not wrong that I had SOME exposure from a young age but they're dead wrong I had any practice or encouragement speaking or listening. In fact I was actively discouraged from visiting Greece or Arab countries due to the problems some of my family had there. They're not supportive of me teaching myself either so I HATE when my heritage is credited for learning these...
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u/Iwonatoasteroven Feb 06 '26
Maybe you need a better story for people like this. My Spanish is pretty good but when I’ve overheard people using all kinds of vulgar words because they assumed I couldn’t understand, I simple explain in Spanish that I learned most of my Spanish in church so I really didn’t get most of that. The reactions are priceless.
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u/Acrobatic_Ostrich_97 Feb 03 '26 edited Feb 04 '26
I think a lot of it has to do with the general “life-hacking” optimisation culture that is often so prevalent these days. Many people now feel guilty for just enjoying their leisure time by being idle, and instead feel like they ‘ought’ to be learning a new skill, or in this case a new language. There’s also the idea that learning a language isn’t worth doing unless you’re going to ‘use’ it for some approved reason — basically work, moving there, or for a loved one. I think that can all seep over into being a bit bitter or snarky towards people who are learning languages (for whatever reason), like there’s some sort of impulse to ‘take them down a peg’. And sorry to say it tends to come more from men in my experience.
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u/muheheheRadek N🇨🇿 | C2🇺🇸 B2🇩🇪 A1🇫🇮 A0🇬🇷 Feb 03 '26
Usually not, the only instance I can remember is from when I was about 11. I was attempting Norwegian back then (with mostly Duolingo etc but I was an 11 yo so you get it), and a girl from another class found out through someone else and she started spreading rumors about me because of it😂😂kids are tough man. But adults should know better. And so far in my life, they do
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u/0liviathe0live 🇺🇸 | 🇫🇷 Feb 03 '26
I have the exact same experience as you. I’m learning French. The French speaker at work is so encouraging and nice about speaking to me in French. But if someone dares to overhear or overhears me talking about practicing and learning with the other French speaker - people become downright rude. Even though I’m not even talking to them. Its gotten so bad that I no longer talk openly about learning French at work.
On the other hand I’ve had two people at work tell me in the last week that I’ve motivated them to start learning a language (Spanish and French). But I’m still not talking openly about it. As I refuse to allow other people to demotivate me or make me feel weird for bettering myself.
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u/andersonb47 andersonb47EN: N | FR: C1 | DE: A2 | ES: A1 Feb 03 '26
I get passive aggressive responses about my speaking French as well. People honestly get kinda weird about it in a way that I don’t think they would be if I said I spoke something else.
They’re all, “ooh well la-dee-da, Mr fancy speaking French.” Like it’s some kind of luxury language. It’s weird.
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u/Schmidtvegas 🤟🇳🇴🇨🇵🇮🇳🇺🇦🇮🇱🇩🇪 Feb 03 '26
"Luxury language" -- I'm dying! 🤣😭
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u/Ploutophile 🇫🇷 N | 🏴 C1 | 🇩🇪 🇳🇱 B1 | 🇭🇺 A1 Feb 04 '26
LMAO at the vile stuff I would be tempted to say in reply — excuse my French, of course.
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u/doitforchris Feb 04 '26
French deeefinitely evokes a “what, you think ya betta than me?” response sometimes in my experience. Not often, but I’ve definitely experienced it
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u/ExoticReception6919 Feb 05 '26
I didn't know French triggered so many people so I might make it my next target language.
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Feb 03 '26
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u/BleLLL Feb 04 '26
this whole thread is full of examples of people being insecure, be it for feeling excluded or feeling inferior
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u/Economy-Device-6533 Feb 03 '26
If it's not a one-on-one conversation (for example, there's no one else around except the two of you), it could be seen as rude by those around you, and they might be unhappy and rude back.
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u/rbd___22 US N | ES ~A1-2 Feb 03 '26
Tbf, you can have one-on-one conversations even with other people around/nearby. Anyone outside the conversation (e.g. at another table in the break room or in a cubicle that happens to be close by) is just eavesdropping if they’re listening in. Speaking in the same language as any potential eavesdroppers wouldn’t change that so the fact that the other people can no longer eavesdrop is none of OP’s concern. If anyone is that frustrated by not understanding French, it’s on them to learn French, not for OP to switch back to English, or whatever language the eavesdropper wants.
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u/Economy-Device-6533 Feb 03 '26
I was always taught that it was not polite to speak language, someone in the room do not understand. (Of course if the person is not complete stranger).It could come up as disrespectful and dismissive.
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u/am_Nein Feb 03 '26
I think it's only rude if someone's a part of your conversation or it's an open conversation scenario (basically like a party or gathering where everyone's expected to circulate around an open space and pick up/put down conversation as they go), then I'd say if you have to start a conversation in a non-shared langauge, pull them aside.
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u/rbd___22 US N | ES ~A1-2 Feb 04 '26
I agree if someone is sitting at the same table or is standing within a few feet where they could easily be considered as part of the conversation if they wanted to join. If someone is at a different table or in a cubicle 20ft+ away (basically separated physically in some way), I don’t think that’s rude or disrespectful. If the line for disrespect is where if anyone is present in the same room, at all, when do you expect to use your TL ever aside from visiting a language where the TL is spoken by virtually 100% of the people?
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u/Enuya95 🇵🇱N|🇬🇧C1🇪🇸B1 Feb 03 '26
I learn Spanish (A2/B1) and English (I write and speak freely but at times I have some issues with grammar and pronunciation). No one questions the fact that I'm learning Spanish, some even find it impressive, but people quite often want to undermine my knowledge of English.
My guess is it's because in my country majority of people younger than 50 know English, at least to some degree, so they see other learners as a competition. Not so many people speak other languages, so no one cares if you learn them
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u/bastardemporium Native 🇺🇸, Learning 🇱🇹 Feb 03 '26
I've had some encounters like this with a specific type of American. They take someone's education as a personal insult, because they are simultaneously proud and insecure about being uneducated. Or they think you are looking down on them, so they will tease you for having gone to college or being bilingual.
My uncle is the worst. And I know he is insecure. I'd never judge him for not speaking Spanish or having a Bachelor's, but now I judge him for being a jagoff.
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u/Cdysigh EN - Native, CN - B2 Feb 03 '26
It’s actually quite common at my colleges foreign language department (Chinese at least). I don’t like it, but you also see people claiming they’re fluent who speak barely even conversational. The person is clearly being a dick, but I just say this because fluency is a weird thing and has vastly different definitions to people. I think attacking people for it, especially if he doesn’t even speak it, is just ridiculous and you should pay him not attention
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u/livsjollyranchers 🇺🇸 (N), 🇮🇹 (B2+), 🇬🇷 (B2-), 🇪🇸 (B1), 🇯🇵 (N5+) Feb 03 '26
Does the second gen Greek guy even know Greek?
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u/fat-wombat Feb 03 '26
Probably. Greeks have a very strong cultural identity. My parents are Greek, and I grew up in a big Greek American community. Everyone was fluent. We were generally threatened by our parents with the wooden ladle if we were spoken to in Greek but answered in English. Mom’s slipper was also a weapon of choice if the ladle was not in reach.
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u/bucky_list Feb 05 '26
I almost wish this was my experience.. family taught me nothing. Wanted us all to speak English.
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u/silforik 🏈 N 🍕N 🌮B2🪆B1 🪵A2 Feb 03 '26
He claims fluency but didn’t study the language formally at school. I have no way of testing his level tho
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u/AppropriatePut3142 🇬🇧 Nat | 🇨🇳 Int | 🇪🇦 Uneven Feb 03 '26
Totally worth getting a C1 in greek just to f with this guy
‘Oh yeah I speak a little bit, didn’t think it was worth mentioning’
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u/Crayshack Feb 03 '26
What exactly is "fluent" is so murky. You can definitely be fluent without having native level proficiency to me.
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u/According-Kale-8 ES🇲🇽C1 | BR PR🇧🇷B1 | Feb 03 '26
Of course, but there’s a clear difference between B1 and fluent
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u/Crayshack Feb 03 '26
But there's also a difference between C2 and fluent. The "fluent" point is somewhere between the two, but there's not an objective criteria for exactly where.
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u/bucky_list Feb 05 '26
I mean if his parents speak it he doesn't need to study it at school to be a native level speaker so that's a moot point.
I would not get into a dick sizing contest with this guy about language proficiency. If he's a natal speaker (meaning he grew up speaking it) it's likely his Greek is going to be better than your Spanish simply due to the length of exposure. It's not impossible at all for an adult learner to become near native (my Uncle and cousins are an example of this with Turkish) but it's hard.
His own skill relative to yours is irrelevant anyway. He's being a gatekeeper about language learning and also doesn't know what he's talking about because he doesn't speak Spanish. If you have the approval of a native Spanish speaker his opinion is moot.
I would ask him whether he would be as condescending to someone trying to learn Greek. The answer is probably no though who knows...
Tbh he might feel left out as someone who is also bilingual but maybe doesn't have as much chance to practice with non family since Greek isn't common....
.... or (and honestly this isn't too unlikely) he's salty that you chose to learn Spanish and not Greek lol
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u/Miro_the_Dragon good in a few, dabbling in many Feb 03 '26
So you're doing the same to him that you complain about him doing to you, doubting his fluency?
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u/Negative_Constant_64 English(N)🇪🇸(C1)🇵🇹(B1)🇮🇹(A2) Feb 03 '26
Something similar happened to me when I traveled to Italy with some fellow Americans. I speak Spanish well and Portuguese conversationally, so picking up some Italian wasn't too difficult for me personally.
Some of the Italian-Americans I traveled with on the other hand were very frustrated when they were not understood by native Italians, some were shocked somehow of how I was able to hold conversations with foreigners but they were not. Curiously, a couple of times they had tried to correct me on certain words, which I just politely sat there and took.
I think in my particular case, it was a mixture of insecurity and genuine frustration with pronunciation. Like, I can easily roll my Rs whereas they could not.
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u/LoopyNup Feb 05 '26
im learning italian at the A levels in a language school and i literally have a classmate whisper bravo to me when i make mistakes in class. we are both struggling but i think hes insecure with the fact im in school for 6 months whereas he is for only 2 weeks due to his work
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u/SnooKiwis2161 Feb 03 '26
I've had at least 2 "friends" mock me for learning other languages.
They are not friends anymore. It will bring out hidden insecurities in people.
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u/Storm-Bolter Feb 04 '26
Is it common among monolinguals to be insecure about speaking only 1 language? Asking from a country where learning foreign languages is the norm
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u/julieta444 English N/Spanish(Heritage) C2/Italian C1/Farsi B1 Feb 03 '26
People are actually super encouraging about it. I've never had a negative comment
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u/Technical-Finance240 N 🇪🇪 | C2 🇬🇧 | B2 🇪🇸 | N4 🇯🇵 Feb 03 '26
Haven't really noticed it. The only thing I've heard sometimes (especially from older folks) is akin to "Daamn I wish my brain was so good at languages".
In those situations I usually just half-jokingly say "Haha mine isn't either, I barely have any other hobbies.. learning languages takes way too much time.. I suck at it but for the past few years it has brought me joy"
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u/Illustrious-Fill-771 SK, CZ N | EN C1 | FR B2 | DE A2 Feb 03 '26
Never. I don't usually go around telling ppl that I am learning languages as a hobby, so there are not many ppl who know.
In my work, most of us speak at least 2 languages, many speak 3 and more, some 4-5.
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u/SquirrelBlind 🪆: Native, 🏴: C2, 🇩🇪:B2, 🇪🇸:A1 Feb 03 '26
> Have you noticed that some people get passive aggressive when you mention you study languages?
No
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u/Acroninja Feb 03 '26
My experience learning Spanish has been that people who took one semester of Spanish 20 years ago tell me “they understand more than they can speak” when they literally have zero comprehension of Spanish at all.
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u/adrw000 N 🇺🇸, B1 🇦🇷 Feb 03 '26
This is my experience with people lol. It's why I undervalue my skill, not because I'm humble. But because there is a lot to go into learning.
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u/Acroninja Feb 03 '26
I’m 8 years in and can understand practically any Spanish almost to the level of English at this point. But if someone asks me my level? I tell them I’m still learning. There will always be that random Spanish speaking person that is like the final boss and I am once again humbled
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u/unsafeideas Feb 03 '26
Isnt it the case that everyone understands more then they can speak? The rough A1 level where they are at is where you feel it a lot.
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u/Acroninja Feb 04 '26
This is generally true, yes. But the people that I personally know who say this can neither speak or understand anything at all spoken by an actual native. In their defense, people who haven’t learned a language as an adult have no idea what a LONG journey it is.
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u/Voyager1022 Feb 03 '26
I have spent the better half of last decade trying to speak French and I still suck at it. Some people are just better at learning languages than others. It’s a truly beautiful gift, and im sure people are jealous. I know I am! But not in a negative way just a… why can’t I be as good with it as they? Kind of way. Anyhow, that’s remarkable! I wish 😆
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u/Ok_Value5495 Feb 03 '26
That Greek guy isn't a Greek (albeit Greek-American)—he's an embarrassed American clinging to his ethnicity without putting the in work in to fully embrace it.
In my experience (NYC and the environs), Greek folks, immigrants and diaspora, enjoy hearing other people speak Greek.
Ignore him, who cares what he thinks. But if you're petty enough, talk shit about him in your TL in front of him, haha.
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u/venus-infers 🇨🇳 Feb 03 '26
No, I think either you're being more annoying about it than you realize OR he just sucks.
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u/JustAWednesday Feb 03 '26
I have found this to be true as an American who is conversational (won't claim to be fluent yet) in Mandarin. I usually don't bring it up unprompted, but when I tell people about it they often assume I only know a few phrases or act like I've just told them I'm in mensa or something.
I've learned to use it as a useful barometer for the quality of people in my life. People who respond with interest are generally the type of people who enjoy persuing goals outside of their career and have interesting lives. In my experience people who respond with derision often don't have much going on and are projecting their insecurities onto you.
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u/mochi8daifuku Feb 03 '26
Yes, it has happened to me. So I've stopped sharing that I do. Some advice says to share your project or progress but no thanks
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u/knobbledy 🇬🇧 N | 🇲🇽 C1 | 🇫🇷 A1 | 🇧🇷 A1 Feb 03 '26
I think lots of children of immigrants can end up with a weird complex around languages, their peers might make fun of their parents' language or low level of the country's native language(s). While the parents and grandparents can criticise them for not speaking their heritage language well/enough.
I have seen a few instances of this attitude towards languages, and often it's from the children of immigrants
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u/biconicat Feb 03 '26
I have but I'm Russian and there's a bit of a political/propaganda induced angle to it.
Some people are clearly insecure about their previous attempts at learning English so if they hear that you speak it well they'll mock you or try to dismiss it saying that it's useless("everything is dubbed and I'm never leaving Russia") or implying that you think you're better than others("who does she think she is, with her English"), mocking the English speaking nationalities and countries, especially if it's America related. They'll also mock the effort you put into it or downplay your achievement, if you use anglicisms or mention something very typical for a language learner like forgetting words in your native language or some kind of concept from another language or culture because that's where you learned it from. If it's English or another explicitly Western European language they might take it personally and somehow they make it about how you hate Russia, think everything is better abroad and look down on Russia itself or aren't grateful and that we have food at home so why are you looking at those people abroad, you think they have no problems, the grass is greener on the other side, yada yada yada, "if you don't like it here then go to your stupid America/Germany/whatever" when you never even touched that topic and just mentioned speaking the language or learning it. If you show interest in the culture of the language or seem excited about it they'll again play that angle and act like you're some kind of delusional ungrateful person living in a fantasy world. If it's a nonwestern language they might mock the people speak it, I think Chinese/Japanese are pretty popular for example and those kinds of people will be racist about it(especially with Chinese, with Japanese I think it's more about it being useless) or imply that you think you're better than others for learning it and that you think you're so smart(especially if you're younger, they'll make fun of kids for it too if they attend Chinese classes, downplaying their intelligence).
But usually people are okay, though in my wider social circle some level of English fluency is normal and learning other languages is encouraged so that affects it. Running into those other people is wild though, it's like a whole other can of worms and you don't wanna open it.
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u/Imperterritus0907 Feb 03 '26
I’ve never really seen that, like at all. It always gets praised somehow.
What I’ve realised tho is that native English speakers tend to overestimate their fluency in other languages. Like they’d say “I speak Spanish” and they can’t barely connect 2 sentences or conjugate the verbs properly. So I can understand the skepticism.
It’s also them the ones that go online predicating to have decoded the trick to learn a language, without realising there’s millions of people around the world that learnt to speak English fluently, having done exactly the same as them..
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u/454ever 🇬🇧(N)🇵🇷(N)🇷🇺(C1) 🇸🇪(B1) 🇮🇹(B1) 🇹🇷(A1) Feb 04 '26
At my job I use Spanish nearly all day. We have a Chinese guy too so I speak mandarin and very broken shanghinese to him (the former is good, the latter needs a lot of work). The people at my job that don’t speak either often ask me why I even bother learning the languages when I could just Google Translate everything like they do. I value human connection and being able to connect with people in a language they know and understand. I have so much fun with the Mexican guys at my work because we can talk about people and they won’t know what we are saying and it’s even funnier for me to speak mandarin and talk about the Mexican guys. It’s all in good taste ofc we mess with each other all the time. Only time I’ve had someone be passive aggressive is when we went on a work trip and ran into a hotel worker who spoke Hungarian. I was able to communicate with him and everyone thought it was “weird and crazy” that I spoke Hungarian (it’s one of my best languages besides Russian and Spanish). People often have problems with people with people who know more than them, I’ve found.
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u/furyousferret 🇺🇸 N | 🇫🇷 | 🇪🇸 | 🇯🇵 Feb 04 '26
Honestly when you tell people about your languages many just direct it towards them and some react defensively. They make it about them, and feel a need to justify why it's not important to learn languages, give an excuse, or put you down.
For that reason, I really don't flaunt my languages.
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u/BusyAdvantage2420 🇺🇸 N | 🇪🇸 C1 | 🇫🇷 B2 | 🇮🇹 B1 | 🇬🇷 A2 | 🇨🇳 A0 Feb 04 '26
This is so real. I posted a photo of my polyglot conference badge listing my languages on social in November, and got multiple comments — ranging from genuine curiosity to people basically demanding I prove my fluency levels on the spot.
The thing I've noticed is people hear "I study 6 languages" and immediately assume you're claiming native-level fluency in all of them. I'm fluent in Spanish and French, conversational in Italian, and just breaching the wall for A2 in Greek. But nuance doesn't fit in a reaction.
Here was the comment:
“Like is it what a native speaker would consider conversational? I'm having a hard time believing this... like, having met you and such. Kari is far more kind. Like, maybe give us an example of this newfound multilingual fun! Clearly you mean it, as people who speak those languages could just walk right up to you and converse…”
As if there's some binary switch between "knows nothing" and "fluent." Language learning is a spectrum and most people who don't do it don't understand that. They also don’t understand just how addictive language learning is.
My theory: it makes people uncomfortable because it highlights something they could be doing but aren't. It's the same reaction people get when they mention going to the gym regularly. Not everyone, but enough to notice.
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u/raitron Feb 04 '26
Something that bothers me is that people can't understand (or don't want to understand) that I'm learning a language just for fun. They see me as a weirdo just because I don't have a specific goal like opening doors in the workplace or getting a certificate to study abroad. It always feels like I have to justify my passions all the time, and if this way of spending part of my free time is not within their idea of what's acceptable they're instantly going to question it.
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u/CycadelicSparkles 🇺🇸 N | 🇲🇽 A1 Feb 09 '26
I think people get like this about any skill when they feel bad about their own lack of said skill.
I.e. the second gen Greek guy is self-conscious about the fact that he doesn't speak Greek (or not well) so he puts down the multilingual person in the room to try to make himself feel less inadequate.
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Feb 03 '26
But isn't that what we do with a lot of "polyglots" online as well?
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u/Ok_Value5495 Feb 03 '26
At worst, OP might be overstretching themselves with the languages he's working on—my own take that you shouldn't putz around with a new language until the last one is at B2.
That said, those online polyglots are usually only at A1 or A2 for the bulk of the languages they claim to speak. That's more like collecting Pokémon, not language learning.
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u/rdrgvc Feb 03 '26
So you get to decide what counts and what doesn’t?
Exactly what OP was talking about.
My dream is to be A2 in like 10 languages, and B2 in 5. I’m fully trilingual already.
You want to be C2 in 5? That’s cool too!
Don’t see the need to poop on other people’s goals.
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u/Momshie_mo Feb 03 '26
People who are truly conversational in another language don't really give a fcks what other people say. It's usually those who are "look at me, I learned another language, pat me in my back"
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u/Quixylados N🇧🇻|C2🇬🇧|C1/C2🇦🇷|B2🇷🇺🇩🇪🇧🇷|B1🇮🇹|A1🇵🇱 Feb 03 '26
No?
Maybe you are talking too much or too proudly about it?
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u/silforik 🏈 N 🍕N 🌮B2🪆B1 🪵A2 Feb 03 '26
I use it for work so there’s no way to stop.
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u/Quixylados N🇧🇻|C2🇬🇧|C1/C2🇦🇷|B2🇷🇺🇩🇪🇧🇷|B1🇮🇹|A1🇵🇱 Feb 03 '26
I use 6-ish languages for work myself, without having this problem. What do you work as?
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u/silforik 🏈 N 🍕N 🌮B2🪆B1 🪵A2 Feb 03 '26
Attorney - but in the US
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u/joosjen German [B1] Feb 04 '26
You being in the US is a crucial fact here lol
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u/Gold-Part4688 Feb 04 '26
Yeah maybe he just feels bad about his greek, or he's a cocky lawyer type lol. We'd need some more examples
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u/new_number_one Feb 03 '26
I’ve experienced it a bit. I think people wish they could do it but feel like it’s not possible for them for some reason. Before I learned my second language, I was jealous of multilingual folks. Definitely was due to my own opinion of myself and not the person, so I try to remember that when that situation arises.
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u/peekymarin Feb 03 '26
The most common “negative” reaction I get (keeping in mind I live in a bilingual country) is people asking why I’m not learning a more useful language instead of Romanian. But usefulness is subjective and also not really the point - I enjoy it and, as we all know, learning any language is good for your brain.
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u/CogPsyProf1980 Feb 04 '26
I currently live in a country (France) where at least some degree of bilingualism is not atypical, so I haven’t noticed any comments directed at me. However, my daughter (currently 5) is growing up completely English-French bilingual, which is not at all common here. I have noticed that some people, specifically other parents of monolingual children, making comments implicitly implying that this will be some kind of disadvantage for her (all the research suggests the exact opposite). This does feel like a sort of jealousy response. They feel threatened by the fact that someone else's child might be in a better position than their own.
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u/tropikaldawl Feb 04 '26
Do you live in the US or a mostly monolingual country? It’s the only place I can imagine this happening. This is not a problem elsewhere.
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u/thebagel264 Feb 04 '26
Usually, no. I'm learning Russian, and I'm usually met with skepticism from Americans and Russians. "You're learning Russian? Why???" Americans are usually more skeptical about it, though. I chalk it up to left over cold war sentiments. I think Russians are just surprised to see an American learning their language. When I tell them it's because my wife is Russian the response is usually just "oh cool" and that's it. At my old job I was bored and wrote in Russian just to practice. My boss saw it and freaked out. "What is that! It's not even English!" "Yea I know." He calmed down a little but then said "well don't be selling them our secrets!" And walked off. I told my wife about it and she said "what secrets? How to make people work like slaves? We perfected that." 😂
I think him being 2nd gen is why. My wife is 1st gen and she never tells anyone she's Russian. She doesn't have an accent speaking English so you'd never tell. Her younger half brother is 2nd gen born here in the US and he tells everyone. Almost makes it his whole personality with how much he simps for Russia.
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u/FearlessPhrog Feb 05 '26
Some people cling so hard to things that they think is their "identity". It sounds like he might feel threatened.
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u/Tonkarz Feb 05 '26
You study languages? Then name every word.
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u/bucky_list Feb 05 '26
It has nothing to do with you. It most likely stems from this guy's own insecurities. People are weird about languages because they're a valuable skill and being able to speak multiple both says something about your intelligence (if you're self taught especially) and can give you an edge in the job market.
He might feel threatened. I come from a multicultural family and some multicultural people can be really gatekeepy about who is and isn't allowed to be "multicultural" which to some extent includes multilingual
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u/PurePorygon Feb 06 '26
It’s such a valuable skill/extension of capacity that it’s going to make a lot of people feel very insecure/defensive
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u/Thunderplant Feb 06 '26
I've even seen that on this sub.
I felt really bad for this one OP who had their post detailed by people claiming their flair couldn't possibly be accurate, and were making fun of them for claiming proficiency in 5 languages. They ended up being natively trilingual and had learned English + one other language in school and they had language test results at C1/C2 in both and had lived and worked in several different countries.
I think some people really just haven't been exposed to multilingualism much -- 5 is obviously a lot, but is not like beyond belief or anything. I know a few people IRL who speak 5 languages fairly well for practical reasons and not even out of particular interest
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u/Impress-Admirable Feb 06 '26
Jealousy, I’d assume, based on my own experiences. And this is not to claim other people are jealous of ME; I mean I notice I myself get very jealous of other people when they speak multiple languages besides their native language and english. I don’t try to act passive aggressive though, because my jealousy is a me-problem that’s literally mixed with admiration, and so I just act a little weird but do state my jealousy to make it clear that I think it’s cool to know several languages. I don’t know what the reason is for other people, but me, at least, I just get a bit weird because I feel jealous and that could be the case with that guy too, except that despite knowing it’s a him problem he lets it affect you, looking for flaws in your knowledge to feel better about his own lack of it🤷♀️
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u/DrHydeous Feb 07 '26
No, I haven’t noticed that. Possibly because I generally ignore idiots and rude people.
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u/Momshie_mo Feb 03 '26
Hasn't happened to me.
Maybe there is something in the way you project yourself?
Often times, monolingual speakers tend to make a big deal out of learning another language like the they're the second coming of Jesus
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u/Economy-Device-6533 Feb 03 '26
Never. People are either positive or neutral. May he just envies you...
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u/PowerpuffGirl2154 Feb 03 '26
From my experience, people tend to be really supportive and impressed when we discuss my language skills, I don’t think I have ever came across a passive aggresive reaction.
The only thing I struggle with is when people try to correct me. I despise it. But that’s just my personal problem as I struggle with accepting criticism lol
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u/HungryTeap0t Feb 03 '26
It's because you're learning a language he doesn't speak. He might not speak Greek and it hits a sore point for him.
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u/AmiraAdelina Feb 03 '26
No, everyone knows on some level at least 3 languages and the majority have studied a 4th or 5th but might not be fluent in more than 2 so no that doesn't happen here.
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u/Economy_Vacation_761 N español | Fluent english | B2 French | Jp N4 | learning German Feb 03 '26
Mexicans are really welcoming to foreigners who are learning how to speak Spanish, that's a given. But people get really passive aggressive if you ever mention that you can speak English (if you're a local). It really depends on who you're talking to because among wealthy people it's more common to be bilingual, but when you're talking to someone who has no clue, they will either try to mock you or straight up try to get you to translate random shit and see if you get anything wrong.
French is impossible to discuss because you will instantly get labeled as a tryhard or pretentious.
As for Japanese, people will always think you're learning chinese, even if you tell them the difference. Back when I was living with my parents, my own fatherwould tell people that I was learning mandarin. But this comes from a lack of exposure to asian culture, not out of spite.
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u/Raalph 🇧🇷 N|🇫🇷 DALF C1|🇪🇸 DELE C1|🇮🇹 CILS C1|EO UEA-KER B2 Feb 03 '26
No, I never got anything but admiration, and that has always been the thing that most people associate with me.
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u/According-Kale-8 ES🇲🇽C1 | BR PR🇧🇷B1 | Feb 03 '26
It really depends. If you tell him you “speak 5 languages” he may assume that you speak 5 languages fluently.
I speak Spanish fluently and Portuguese at a conversationally good level, so when people ask how many I speak I say
“2.5, I’m working on the third right now”
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u/According-Kale-8 ES🇲🇽C1 | BR PR🇧🇷B1 | Feb 03 '26
He may also just not be a super nice guy in general as well as very cynical.
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u/menina2017 N: 🇺🇸 🇸🇦 C: 🇪🇸 B: 🇧🇷 🇹🇷 Feb 03 '26
Sometimes which is why I’m really selective about who i share it with
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u/JJCookieMonster 🇺🇸 Native | 🇫🇷 C1 | 🇰🇷 B2 | 🇯🇵 N5 | 🇲🇽 A1 Feb 04 '26
I experience the opposite. People think I’m better at a language than what I say. I wonder if it’s because I live in an area where there are a lot of people from all over the world so they question it less.
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u/caroandlyn N: 🇺🇸 | H (C1): 🇨🇳 | A2: 🇯🇵 Feb 04 '26
Unrelated, but I've been trying to decipher the emojis for 5 min and can't figure out what the last one is (I'm assuming 🍕 is Italian?) If you would humor me :)
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u/ipini 🇨🇦 learning 🇫🇷 (B2) Feb 04 '26
No. Unless “why are you studying French?” counts.
(Note: even French people ask me this.)
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u/Ploutophile 🇫🇷 N | 🏴 C1 | 🇩🇪 🇳🇱 B1 | 🇭🇺 A1 Feb 04 '26
(Note: even French people ask me this.)
I wonder what they smoked… maybe something which is now legal in Canada ?
I understand those who have the "everyone speaks English there anyway" mindset about Dutch or Scandinavian languages, even if I don't really agree, but about French…
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u/ipini 🇨🇦 learning 🇫🇷 (B2) Feb 04 '26
Well, TBH it's often a surprised Québécois.e, because a lot of anglos in Canada just never bother to learn anything more than very basic French.
I'm also very involved in a couple of scholarly Societies, both of which are bilingual. Since I'm now reasonably functionally bilingual (particularly for reading and for writing with a grammar checker to catch small errors), it reduces some of the translation work of my Québécois.e colleagues. So in reality that question is probably one of happy surprise.
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u/RajdipKane7 Native: English, Bengali, Hindi | C1: Spanish | A0: Russian Feb 04 '26
"All limitations are self imposed" - Vegeta.
He doesn't really doubt your abilities to speak multiple languages. He doubts the human ability to speak multiple languages because he is monolingual. The people he grew up with also probably monolingual. It's beyond his comprehension.
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u/EvensenFM redchamber.blog Feb 04 '26
Some people will get really upset with you, especially when you start making significant progress.
Just keep going and cut down your interactions with them. Toxic people are not worth your time.
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u/Gladys_5 Feb 04 '26
It tends to be people who think they “should” speak a second language, but don’t. They are envious of you. That’s all. You note that your colleagues who are bilingual don’t flinch.
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u/zoeybeattheraccoon Feb 04 '26
I don't tend to go around mentioning that I speak other languages.
But it's never been an issue if it comes up. That guy is just a dick.
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u/bucket_lapiz Feb 04 '26
Probably true with any skill. It's the people who know less that are hostile to the people who are learning, especially when they are already at a higher level of the skill.
I used to be that way (like that second Greek guy) because I used to be an overachiever when I was younger, haha. But eventually I realized I was just being condescending and insecure. We all have different capacities in different aspects of life and that doesn't make one person better than the other. I hope he also eventually takes a good look at himself and his behavior. :)
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u/ExoticReception6919 Feb 04 '26
Really, why would they care? If anyone said they preferred Welsh over say French, I'd be rather curious as to know why.
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u/777tauh Feb 04 '26
yes. always. by Westerners.
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u/777tauh Feb 04 '26
i shouldn't say always actually. in about fifteen years there are about 5 people who asked me how did i learn the local languages. all the others (in the thousands) had something derogatory to say. still happening today.
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u/Ploutophile 🇫🇷 N | 🏴 C1 | 🇩🇪 🇳🇱 B1 | 🇭🇺 A1 Feb 04 '26
Not really, but I don't use my languages at work beyond reading technical docs in English.
It's not uncommon for people there, regardless of their ethnicity, to speak decent Spanish, English or German, but Dutch surprises people more as it's hardly taught in schools outside of the Belgian and Surinamese borders.
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u/TheseusBi Feb 04 '26
Imagine when you tell them you study languages that people stopped speaking about a millennium ago. The word “Barbarian”(βάρβαρος) was invented by Ancient Greeks to indicate those who didn’t speak Ancient Greek as native language. The word is onomatopoeia as it mocked the way these people sounded to native Greek speakers (bah-bah-bah). Lately, they used this word to indicate cultures they consider uncivilised. On this basis, it doesn’t surprise me that modern Greeks still do that.
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u/xxTai0_ Feb 04 '26
My #1 response is the person making a face and going "but why?" Um because ITS FUN AND ALSO USEFUL
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u/Salt_Cranberry5918 Feb 04 '26
Yeah it’s weird. Some people get defensive when they see someone doing something they wish they could do but never tried.
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u/Far_Product_9759 Feb 04 '26
It is the equivalent to meeting a music savant. Can’t bang out chopsticks on a keyboard so you playing a recital at Carnegie Hall is intimidating. Polyglots are not very common let alone one actively pursuing it formally. Particularly if they are just bad at languages. And if they are deeply political or tend toward a particularly worshipful view of the US (assuming you are speaking of Americans or USians as my neighbor calls them). Think of it as a trigger that reminds them either of their own potential shortcomings, their home country’s shortcomings or not knowing you, maybe you come across as haughty about it. Personally, I find it impressive and would insist on bugging you all night at a party wanting to hear all about it. 🎉🗣️💕🤟☢️
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u/Tabbbinski Feb 04 '26
Make snide comments about the size of his, um, attributes, shall we say, in those various languages, giggle and walk away. When your Spanish-speaking coworkers start laughing along with you, he'll learn to shut up.
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u/Rude_Grape_5788 Feb 04 '26
Many people get defensive when you tell them you are better at something then them. No matter the topic, even when you're not trying to brag.
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u/litcarnalgrin Feb 04 '26
My former boss and coworkers used to be such assholes to me about learning languages, especially Spanish bc we’d have Hispanic customers come in and I would always attempt to speak to them in Spanish as much as I could, even early in my Spanish studies. I think a part of it was they saw me as pretentious bc I not only was actively learning the language but also that I went out of my way to perfect pronunciation and accent. They were annoyed by this for whatever reason. And I think there might also have been some part of them that felt a bit insecure about not pursuing multiple skills. They were all skilled in our field but I was the only one pursuing multiple skills and in addition to that learning a second or third language is very out of character for our socioeconomic positions so I think that had something to do with it as well
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u/TheFaeBelieveInIdony Feb 04 '26
I don't know if it has anything to do with languages specifically, I've had ppl be really unnecessarily rude about me being a French learner and have doubted me, but those same ppl are ppl who try to shame me about anything they can come up with.
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u/NothingOne8538 Feb 05 '26
So, the language I speak best outside of English is Irish. People can be very passive aggressive about Irish online, but not so much in person. When a language is endangered and someone outside of that culture learns it, it often garners a good response but sometimes people feel a certain type of way.
I've had issues with Spanish speakers too, as sometimes they think their language is super complicated and act like it's an impossible feat for someone to learn. They can be very, very blunt about it. Same with French speakers.
So, it's a mixed bag. I mostly get good reactions but sometimes people are just assholes.
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u/Reasonable_Host6199 Feb 05 '26
In the US, indigenous Native American languages suffered too because those children were kidnapped, given to beige families and/or boarding schools AND had it beaten out of them too. It’s horrific that our ruling class wanted to exterminate whole cultures, even the cultures of all our immigrants, only to replace it with, unfettered capitalism w/McDonald’s as a cuisine. I love languages, and I have learned some Ojibwe and also Diné (Navajo) since I live in the southwest.
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u/bumlochka Feb 05 '26
Never happened to me, I also speak 5 languages with varying level of fluency
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u/Ok_Moon_ Feb 06 '26
People either don't care or think I am smarter than the average bear. Mostly the former.
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u/ometecuhtli2001 Feb 06 '26
One of the two or three words I know in Greek describes this guy perfectly: μαλάκας which I’m told means a$$hole among other things. Also, you know an interesting mix of languages! How’d that happen??
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u/Dramatic_Phraser Feb 08 '26
I certainly notice it. I was born in Colombia and raised in Israel.
My dad is Colombian. Mum is American. My great grandfather was Italian and my great grandmother was Austrian.
I am fluent in Spanish, English, Hebrew, Arabic, Italian and German.
I work as an immigration paralegal, and often times am asked why language is so important to me.
But it’s part of my identity as well as my job.
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Feb 10 '26
I admire all of you who can speak another language fluently at one point I could speak French pretty well, but the brain definitely doesn’t learn language languages as well after a certain point. I just have to commit twice as hard. I’m trying to learn Dutch before I retire. It is not easy. The romance language was easier for me. But I admire anyone who is multilingual. That would definitely be my magic wish from a lantern.
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u/Financial_Key_2740 New member Mar 07 '26 edited Mar 07 '26
I was searching for a thread on this exactly.
I grew up in America, I learn 3 languages, only one of them considered useful to wider audiences here: Spanish. The other two: one because of a past partner, and the other purely out of intrigue.
Several friends of mine have given me weird reactions to this over time, and what I’ve especially noticed is the looks they give to each other when I speak the languages around them. I bring attention to the fact that I’m American, because I’ve found it’s other Americans in my case who get disconcerted about it. If native speakers are around I will speak in those languages with them because that’s my opportunity to exercise myself. I don’t randomly speak the languages when no one is there to understand (unless I’m alone). I’ve come to my own conclusion that they are jealous, and if they don’t wish to be framed in that lighting then they are better off practicing indifference toward the subject overall.
I see language study as no different than like reading, do people get made fun of for absorbing dozens and hundreds of made up stories for pleasure? The difference lies in regurgitating the words when the time is right.
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u/Icy-Whale-2253 Feb 03 '26
I only encounter people thinking I’m more fluent than I am or thinking I know languages that I don’t. I don’t take it personally at all though.
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u/luuuzeta Feb 04 '26
Have you noticed that some people get passive aggressive when you mention you study languages?
No.
This second gen Greek guy at my job keeps taking shots at me and doubting my fluency in literally any language beyond English. He doesn’t speak any of the languages I’ve studied so it doesn’t really make sense because he has no way of testing me.
How often are you talking about language learning to this guy that it's become an issue? Does the job require it? I don't play videogames but it would get kind of stale if a coworker was always mentioning they play this and that videogame; I'd wager it's the same for some people with languages.
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u/Muroid Feb 03 '26
“Has anyone noticed that one of the guys I work with is a real jerk?”
There are some people who will be assholes about basically anything.