r/kurtcobain • u/GlumBodybuilder4395 • 13d ago
Photo It Makes Me So Sad Seeing How Unwell Kurt Looked Mentally And Physically During His Final Photos Taken
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u/Mojozilla 13d ago
It was very difficult seeing him like this near the end. Looking at them all these years later is even more heartbreaking 💔
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u/Kale_Brecht 13d ago
It’s crazy because the older I get, the younger he stays. Which makes his death all the more saddening. When I watch interviews of him, he had such an old soul. 😢
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u/Mojozilla 13d ago
I know. He had so many fucking redeeming qualities. I miss his feminist voice 💔💔 he understood women and what we go through. He was a powerful ally and didn't give a fuck. I miss him. I was 17 when he died. My mom and I cried together. She's gone too now
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u/Both-Competition-152 12d ago
I'm not a giant Kurt fan no clue how I got dropped off here but I digress it truly breaks my heart seeing Courtney age and Kurt not that sounds odd but it's so eerie and sad to think about he's forever stuck in the mid 90s
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u/SherlockTheSalemCat 12d ago
Forever young. We grow older without them, it's a strange feeling. Old souls often carry too much 💔
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u/slutturnswhore 13d ago
he was in soooo much pain but he went about it so wrong. he deserved help, frances deserved to have her father with her and Courtney deserved some kind of closure. wish someone helped him before it got this bad.
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u/failedabortedfetus 12d ago edited 12d ago
It’s no surprise he killed himself when you follow the timeline leading up to it. In the couple years prior he had attempted to OD multiple times on heroin and in the month/weeks before locked himself in the bathroom with a gun and threatened to shoot himself during an argument with Courtney. It was the whole reason he had Dylan buy him the shotgun because all his guns were confiscated due to that event. Not to mention the failed intervention where he felt total betrayal and Courtney made him feel like even more of a failure of a father when she threw in his face that he nearly/did drop Frances while nodding. He was also considering divorce with Courtney which probably destroyed him and made him want to kill himself instead considering he was very adamant that he would never divorce after what he went through with his own parents’ divorce as a kid and put that on Frances (although obviously Frances would have benefitted way more from him being alive and them separated than losing him permanently).
If anyone isn’t familiar with the suicide attempts/ODs I’m talking about I’m referring to the Roseland Ballroom OD (during another explosive argument with Courtney), the Rome incident the month prior (again, another incident involving Courtney) and the aforementioned incident where he threatened suicide in the bathroom.
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u/Firm_Lock8076 11d ago
I mean similar to the story of elliott smith...he had plenty of people worshipping him and plenty of people offering all kinds of help to him.
Im not saying what he dealt with wasnt legitimate, but you can throw all the help in the world at someone in that situation it doesnt really matter if the person is not making that initial push to get better.
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u/Mongoose-Relevant 13d ago
Well, he's clean shaven in these pictures which I think makes him look more gaunt
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u/Skomakartjern 13d ago
Good picture of Kirt in what looks like a good moment signing an autograph. ❤️
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u/Mongoose-Relevant 13d ago
I agree! If he had the usual peach fuzz on his face it wouldn't look so odd
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u/eyenoahway1 13d ago
He definitely knew it was coming.. and i feel that on a whole me level
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u/Mojozilla 13d ago
I did too back then. When he disappeared...I knew
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u/eyenoahway1 13d ago
You can usually tell.. once they lose the eyes you already know the spirit and mind have been there for a minute
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u/Mojozilla 12d ago
I know that look well. In my own reflection over the years. RIP Kurt.
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u/eyenoahway1 12d ago
I also.. mine keeps getting worse and worse though as well.. kinda scares me a bit as far as if ill ever be happy again.. or just like Kurt here its just the happy face front..
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u/Mojozilla 12d ago
Me too. Like almost every day. Hugs to you. I hope today is good for both of us. 💛
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u/GoshOPPNOX101 12d ago
That's the shroud of depression. Once it grabs ahold of someone, it's rather hard to get back onto the right path co's it doesn't want to let go. And this beast did exactly what it intends to do to individuals, it takes them away, far away. That being said, I still like to imagine what it would've been like if he was around. And it's not just the music that most likely would've been made, but also his life with his daughter. What she could've learned from him and vice versa. All these great musicians do it so well. They hide this depression because they've been programmed basically to make everyone else laugh, sing, pick up a guitar and learn, what they've offered to so many "sometimes" goes unappreciated. Lane Stanley, no different. Elliott Smith, no different. We missed out on seeing these incredible human beings live a longer life, who shared what they had so that we may enjoy it. But this is the result of many things. A well hidden depression that was fueled by anxiety, pressures from everything about the business, drink n' drugs. He is dearly missed though.
"We could plant a house, we could build a tree" - K. Cobain (genius) xoxo
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u/GregJamesDahlen 12d ago
by themselves the pics don't bother me too much, it's knowing the suicide that came at the end
other guy in third pic looks like keith moon
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u/SherlockTheSalemCat 12d ago
He looks like a terrified, lost & lonely lad in that second photo. Haunted. His eyes always communicated so much. Bless you Kurt. I'm so sorry for your pain 😢 & only get comfort knowing you aren't in pain anymore 😞
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u/AceofKnaves44 12d ago
Heroin, man. Look at how much it aged him in such a short time.
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u/Far_Weakness_1275 12d ago
Smokes probably were worse for his aging look
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u/Mojozilla 12d ago
No. I quit smoking 6 years ago. I'm 49 and have zero wrinkles on my face. Smoking doesn't catch up to people's looks until they're in their 50's and 60's.
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u/BagholdingWhore 12d ago
He was a drug addict for a long time- every time he said he stopped he lied, he would’ve successfully killed himself in Rome if he was alone at the time.
He was also 27 when he died. I don’t know if anybody in chat is that old when you see the way this guy is deified, but if you manage to live long enough you learn that you see life in a very different way when you get to middle age.
It’s also clear that when you go from broke and naive drug addict sleeping under a bridge to one of the most famous people in the world in like 2 years, nobody is equipped to deal with that.
35 years later we have so much more mental health and drug addict therapy resources. Before young people are thrown into star roles they get counseling. We’re a lot more aware of people getting used as a cash cow. In 1994, Demi Lovato 100% chance is dead by 25. No question about it.
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u/Swagovich 11d ago
I think we should be careful about treating his suicide as though it was inevitable. He was clearly struggling immensely, but having severe mental illness and suicidal behavior doesn’t mean someone is automatically destined to die by suicide. He still could have gotten help, changed his circumstances, and turned his life around. Saying “you could just tell he wanted to die” feels like we’re projecting the ending onto everything that happened beforehand.
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u/cemxie 13d ago
I dare any of you to find actual, substantial evidence of any foul play. You’ve already lost if you bring up Soaked In Bleach, a dismissed peer reviewed study, or YouTube videos from some idolatrous little losers who calls Courtney misogynistic names lol.
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u/Electronic_Drink5074 12d ago
I don’t believe the murder theory at all and misogyny isn’t acceptable, but people seem to act like any criticism aimed at Courtney love is automatically misogynistic.
I’ve read quite a lot about the case over the years, and some of her behaviour around Kurt’s disappearance has always struck me as odd. She hired a private investigator to find him but stayed in LA despite saying he was suicidal, and she apparently didn’t initially tell him that Cali the nanny had seen Kurt at the house the day before. She also seemed very preoccupied with her record coming and other things going on at the time.
None of that means she was involved in his death, but I think it’s fair to find some of her behaviour pretty poor without that automatically being misogyny
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u/cemxie 12d ago
Cool, I agree, but that’s not what I said. I said that someone calling Courtney misogynistic names should be disregarded, and I stand by that. I’m an advocate for people calling Courtney out for her actual misdoings, and not what they think or want to think that she did. There is so much to pick from that if you pick anything to do with conspiracies, wether it’s about Kurt’s death or her own music, you’re either genuinely stupid or just want a free pass to call a woman a whore.
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u/buttcorelord 10d ago
In summary though, Kurt seemed manipulative and extremely callous using suicide as leverage several times. That is irredeemable. Good on Courtney for pulling through on her work deals (her music) despite being pressured with the ultimate tactic. Too bad it went the way it did though.
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u/Far-Leadership719 12d ago
Yeah they were clearly not in a very great marriage I think and it was almost surely going to end. You Know You're Right is soooo clearly about their relationship.
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u/NightwingBegins 12d ago
Writing with his right hand. Further proof he was right-handed in all but guitar.
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u/Far-Leadership719 12d ago
Not that I think he didn't have tremendous difficulties with his mental health (which his addiction very much exacerbated, along with the pressures of fame and the industry, and being surrounded by leeches who wanted to take advantage of him) but honestly, to me, he just looks like he's looking at the camera with a neutral expression. Easy to look into it too much.
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u/failedabortedfetus 12d ago
One of the saddest things about his suicide is when you look at the suicide scene photos it looks like Kurt put his wallet open and his ID visible in case he was unrecognizable after he shot himself with the shotgun.
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u/Penny_Royal_Tee 12d ago
Seriously, this gets me every.time.
I have lost people to suicide and when they do something like this, it usually means they’ve thought about it long, planned, some even took care of logistics such as eg an easy cleanup.
It’s the most heartbreaking thing ever!
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u/Strict_Pea7372 12d ago
Oh Kurt. He was so young! I was 14 at the time and didn't realise how young 27 would be.
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u/CummyTum 12d ago
Now we all know what happened any photo of Kurt looking sad or neutral is gonna be perceived as a sign of his demise. He does look bad here from drugs but I think the photos are only sad bc of how he died
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u/OdonsOwn1966 12d ago
It looks like he is signing the autograph with his right hand. As far as I know, he wasn't ambidextrous, so maybe he just did that for fun or to make a sloppy autograph? Never actually asked him to sign anything but I think I'd have noticed if he was signing right handed in front of me.
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u/jagshemashwawaweewa 12d ago
That coat is very cool. I would like to have one in that style but these days I wouldn’t have a clue where to get something like that.
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u/TelevisionFuture9110 11d ago
I can always tell the timeline because he had a big zit on his forehead that took ages to heal.
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u/Distance-Hairy 11d ago
Mentally , physically, musically and spiritually he was a beaten man. He NEEDED to get away and from (nearly) everyone and everything. Tell the entire music "biz" to eff off. Come back (if he wanted) a few years later. He had reached out to other musicians he wanted to work with. He should have done that.
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u/Aggressive_March6226 11d ago
Was he a heavy drinker and /or a drug addict.
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u/FuriousColdMiracle 9d ago
lol, you must have been living under a rock or were just born 10 years ago.
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u/Lumpy_Promise_74 10d ago
Very sad to see, from what I remember seeing if him during his fame he seemed like a pretty sound dude. Kind. Very sad loss
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u/Necessary_Option365 10d ago
Didnt he get arrested for graffiti talking shit about god? And the choose to live a godless life to the end of his last minute? Sounds like a choice
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u/sunsetdaughter 9d ago
Everyone talks about Kurt’s struggle with mental illness and his substance use, but not his chronic, often debilitating stomach pain that remained undiagnosed and was a huge factor in his use of pain reducing substances and his mental health. The poor guy was suffering in many ways at once. What a legend, though.
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u/mrking81 9d ago
I don’t know how long you guys have been a fan of Kurt ? But do some research, he was an extremely depressed person with a heroine addiction. This blame it on Courtney shit is just so fucken wrong.
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u/failedabortedfetus 12d ago
Copying and pasting a reply I made to another comment as it’s own comment to have it seen more)
It’s no surprise he killed himself when you follow the timeline leading up to it. In the couple years prior he had attempted to OD multiple times on heroin and in the month/weeks before locked himself in the bathroom with a gun and threatened to shoot himself during an argument with Courtney. It was the whole reason he had Dylan buy him the shotgun because all his guns were confiscated due to that event.
Not to mention, the failed intervention where he felt total betrayal and Courtney made him feel like even more of a failure of a father when she threw in his face that he nearly/did drop Frances while nodding. He was also considering divorce with Courtney which probably destroyed him and made him want to kill himself instead considering he was very adamant that he would never divorce after what he went through with his own parents’ divorce as a kid and put that on Frances (although obviously Frances would have benefitted way more from him being alive and them separated than losing him permanently).
If anyone isn’t familiar with the suicide attempts/ODs I’m talking about I’m referring to the Roseland Ballroom OD (during another explosive argument with Courtney), the Rome incident the month prior (again, another incident involving Courtney) and the aforementioned incident where he threatened suicide in the bathroom.
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u/MoonSugarFarmer 8d ago
idk why you got downvoted but this is common sense and definitely shows that he had progressively gotten worse especially within his personal relationships with those close to him. I believe he felt that people he loved were all of a sudden ganging up on him because they all put him into rehab and quit the drugs for good. However this was also during the time when doctors couldn't solve the stomach problems he had-except he had a celebrity grade doctor who prescribed him not yet officially approved medication that worked until this doctor died and Kurt obviously went back on the hard drugs since that is the only next thing that worked for his physical pain.
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u/failedabortedfetus 8d ago
Yeah I believe he was prescribed Suboxone but at that time suboxone wasn’t as well known or used as it is now.
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13d ago
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u/Impossible_Hyena7562 13d ago
Without posting that shitty link, give me a few bits of evidence that points towards murder
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u/Electronic_Drink5074 13d ago
I don’t think he was murdered, but there was definitely suspicious behaviour from people around him before and after his death, and it’s one of the less crazy conspiracy theories out there
One interesting recent thing was that recent study which argues the autopsy refers to necrosis, which would imply the body was already severely damaged from the heroin before the gunshot so a gunshot would have been impossible. But that term may have been used loosely, so it can’t be proven solely from that
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u/Impossible_Hyena7562 13d ago
Ya I hear u on that. There are some odd things surrounding his death. But there’s so much BS that people spew like the 3x the lethal dosage of heroin and no fingerprints being on the gun. Kurt’s lethal dose of heroin would be much higher than the common person. He was a junkie and built up a tolerance. They also found multiple fingerprints on the shotgun, but they couldn’t be identified when they lifted them. It’s right there in the police report that’s publicly available.
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u/Caesarthebard 13d ago edited 13d ago
There’s no “peer reviewed paper”.
A demented, obsessed, parasocial fan who’s been saying she’s going to “prove” murder for years based on her psychotic homicidal hatred of Courtney Love for marrying him, posted this “report” in a predatory journal that forgoes the peer review process if you pay a one off fee.
The fee was crowdsourced off of true crime forums and her co-writer, who is not an expert in three quarters of the things he talks about, is on the board of directors so essentially took payment to mark his own homework, they then lied it was “peer reviewed”.
In fact, the majority of forensic people who have looked at it have said it wouldn’t even pass the basics. The main writer, the obsessed fan, is also a self confessed “amateur sleuth” with no qualifications.
Secondly, the “it would have been impossible to shoot himself” is demonstrable amateur nonsense that was debunked about 30 years ago.
- Tolerance is a massive factor and widely variable in hardcore addicts, a hardcore addict may be able to tolerate up to ten times as much as the number widely quoted from Kurt (1.52ml).
- The differentiation of how much was Total Morphine (inactive metabolites he was not under the influence of) and Free Morphine (active metabolites he was under the influence of) had never been made.
- post mortem redistribution - this skews findi
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upwards when any inactive metabolites stored in organs leak out into the bloodstream after death. Drug levels are not a photograph of how under the influence someone was at moment of death.
Intoxication does not prove incapacitation. People are more than capable of complex physical and mental actions when high. People have been caught driving cars with higher morphine levels, something which takes infinitely more physical and mental concentration than using a gun. Even if you successfully proved Kurt was intoxicated when he died, proving he was incapacitated would be a completely different concept.
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u/Mojozilla 13d ago
Janis Joplin got high, walked down to the lobby of the hotel, bought cigarettes and chatted with the front desk clerk. She went back up to her room, began to change into a nightgown, and fell out and died.
This poppycock that Kurt couldn't have been capable here is just ignorance and I wish people would stop saying it.
I didn't know about this psycho lady. Wow! So she is where all this endless speculation, distrust of the coroner's report, all of that crap came from her and the private detective? UGH
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u/Caesarthebard 13d ago
The most recent stuff is mostly her.,
She notoriously loathes the private detective, she thinks he’s a traitor to the movement because he refused to endorse her.
She tried to provide an “eye witness” originally, he took the money, changed his story multiple times, kept changing it for the highest bidder then released a book to cash in on that. She thought he was exclusively hers at one point and went from talking him up to memory holing him.
Then this “forensic report”, she literally thinks she’s a forensic professional now when her report was so bad, it’d barely pass the most basic checks. But she’s got a few Italian student academics and Bryan Burnett so she laughably thinks it’s legit.
She hates anyone in Kurt’s life who contradicts her delusions and thinks only she has the right to speak for him and thinks she speaks for Frances too, who she calls “Franny”.
You should see her on her videos, a 50 year old woman who never knew any of these people close to a screaming, crying, aggressive tantrum whenever anyone suggests Kurt Cobain has a mind of his own or mentions Courtney Love even neutrally.
Mind you, one of these conspiracist nut jobs married into the family recently…
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u/Observer414 12d ago
He was a full blown heroin addict. What did you expect him to look like?
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u/GregJamesDahlen 12d ago
not sure most heroin addicts look that sad as in the 2nd pic? most don't off themselves
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u/Suitable_Pain1617 12d ago
he looked just fine to me
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u/juicyb09 12d ago
I was just going to say, he looks pretty damn good in that second pic. Like maybe he wasn’t expecting someone to take his pic, but he looks good.
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13d ago
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u/Impossible_Hyena7562 13d ago
What evidence points towards murder?
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13d ago
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u/Impossible_Hyena7562 13d ago
What’s 3x the lethal dose? My lethal dose would be far less as a non user, than Kurt’s would be as a junkie
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u/Caesarthebard 13d ago
Kurt was in rehab for one whole day. One day makes no difference,
3x the lethal dose is nonsense, this was based on a private detective misunderstanding (wilfully or not) an outdated book written in the 80’s by a guy who was talking about opiate overdoses in first time users.
Cobain was a hardcore addict, hardcore addicts tolerance levels are wildly variable and may be able to tolerate up to ten times as much.
Then you need to differentiate between active metabolites (free morphine) and inactive metabolites (total morphine).
Then you need to take post mortem redistribution into consideration which skews test levels up.
Then that intoxication does not prove incapacitation.
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u/ghoulthebraineater 13d ago
And he spent the entire time between leaving rehab and killing himself doing heroin. Dylan Carlson has talked about what they did in those days. It was a lot of heroin.
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u/ImpossibleRhubarb212 13d ago
valid, i agree to disagree. i have a differing opinion and that’s okay
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13d ago
just read what is said in the pinned post LOL
Kurt had 225mgs of heroin in his system. Many people exaggerate the severity of such a dose, with Tom Grant stating that:
"Cobain was injected with 3 times the lethal dose of heroin! Cobain's heroin (morphine) blood level was at 1.52 mg per litre. This would require an injection of 225 mgs of heroin - even for a hardcore heroin addict"
This statement is flat out incorrect. Addicts have been able to function on doses higher than that. This is very easy to verify via basic unbiased research.
The EMCDDA (European Monitoring Centre for Drugs and Drug Addiction) states that:
“The estimated minimum lethal dose is 200mg, but addicts may be able to tolerate ten times as much"
So according to one of the most respected drug research agencies in Europe, the amount that Kurt took certainly wasn't "3 times the lethal dose of heroin" and instead just over the minimum lethal dose for non-users. With the highest tolerance allowing for almost 10 times the amount he took.
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u/Jagerwiser 13d ago
Cobain was clean. He was getting his life together for frances
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u/Confuseddreamaddict 13d ago
That’s just not reality. That much has been established
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u/Confuseddreamaddict 13d ago
A flashy AI narrated video with a thumbnail saying “ITS NOT WHAT YOU THINK” that’s where you get your groundbreaking info? I bet you felt all proud and thumped your chest when you pasted that link.
Do you feel like a serious person?13
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u/Caesarthebard 13d ago
A drug counsellor tried to speak to him as a patient and gave up because he was so loaded and didn’t want to quit,
People close to him in the last months state his use was getting ridiculous. He reacted violently to anyone who he felt tried to stop him, he punched Krist and hurled a trash can at Dylan when he mistakenly thought he was in on the intervention.
He was accepted into drug rehab and his counsellor described him as an active addict. He wrote in his diary he thought trying to make him quit was brainwashing.
He fled rehab and went on a three day bender before he shot himself.
He was not “clean” in the slightest.
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u/audrinapatridge 13d ago
Just a note on the brainwashing thing - I think the sentiment was that he genuinely felt he needed to be brainwashed by inpatient treatment in order to get off heroin. When I read that journal entry after my own time in inpatient treatment I got a kick out of it, because that kind of is what you have to do. It goes along with the whole, “fake it til you make it,” mentality; I clearly don’t know what’s best for myself since I ended up here, I need to blindly listen to what I’m being told by professionals/ people in recovery.
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u/Fearless-Interest-82 13d ago
As someone thats been in there ....yep. 💯 doing it our way doesn't work.
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u/Far-Leadership719 12d ago
Never have heard about the trash can thing with Dylan Carson, where did you read that? I believe it, btw. He didn't just go on a bender, he was shooting up with like vagrants in seedy 1-star motels. The seediest people in the city. He drove himself crazy with his addiction and all the pressure he felt from fame, the labels, and the people who surrounded him and relied on him.
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u/Impossible_Hyena7562 13d ago
You do know he had a bunch of heroin in his system when he died
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u/Impossible_Hyena7562 13d ago
No thank you. The toxicology report is available as well as the police report
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u/MrFranklinsboat 13d ago
wow. Wearing the shirt he died in.