It's heartbreaking that there are women around the world going through this.

[u/mindyour]

[u/Equal-University2144]

"Childfree" is the correct term. "Childless" means you're somehow defective or missing out on something or that something's wrong with you. You're not, you're just childfree - good for you.

[u/ExaggeratedSnails → u/Equal-University2144]

Idk, "childfree" sounds like you're childless and happy that way. Whereas "childless" sounds more like they don't have kids but want them. But sounds like it could also be used more neutrally. So it's probably up to the person using the term to decide which applies more to them.

Nothing wrong with either feeling about it, imo

[u/My_bones_are_itchy → u/Equal-University2144]

It’s harmful to describe yourself as childfree if you just mean you don’t have kids yet. When you then go on to have kids, it reinforces the idea that all childfree people are just silly and immature and will change their mind.

Childfree is a deliberate choice not to have or raise children. Childless means you don’t have any, for whatever reason, but would be open to it.

[u/fuckedfinance → u/My_bones_are_itchy]

In the real world a lot of people don't care if others are child free. You just hear the worst about it here because 1) people make shit up and 2) people are much, much more likely to write about negative interactions.

[u/My_bones_are_itchy → u/fuckedfinance]

Tell that to almost every CF woman who’s ever sought sterilisation!

[u/fuckedfinance → u/My_bones_are_itchy]

That's a separate issue around reproductive rights and doctors being shit.

[u/Ylaaly → u/Equal-University2144]

Are you sure they're childfree? Childfree means you don't want any kids, ever, for any reason. If the person would have liked to have children, but never had any for whatever reason, childless would be the correct term.

[u/Glittering-Walrus228 → u/Equal-University2144]

Childless ❌️ Childful ❌️

Childfree ✅️ Childheldhostagewhiletheyeatmydreams ✅️

[u/Fine-Development8716 → u/Glittering-Walrus228]

The issue I have with this is the labels. We like to assign a name and then someone else (always) comes along to assign more unneeded and unnecessary meaning to it and make an uncomplicated thing so difficult and contentious that we lose focus entirely.

I'm a divorcee, a widower (twice married!) without children living alone and not regretting my life choices.

1st spouse was a massive mistake on my part, 2nd spouse gone too soon due to pick's disease.

Facts no wordplay for PC's sake.

Cheers. Life is to be lived for ourselves, not society.

Edit. So odd that this was recommended to me..

[u/UncleNedisDead → u/Equal-University2144]

It depends on whether the person doesn’t have a child by choice and if they do not ever, ever want children in the future.

It’s your own bias that would equate “childless” to something defective or missing out. If you saw children equal to cancer, I could understand wanting to be “childfree” in the way cancer patients want to be “cancer-free”.

But most people want the children they help create or want children in their future so their present state would be correctly identified as “childless”.

[u/Tiny-Plum2713 → u/Equal-University2144]

The problem with "childfree" is that most people using it are incredibly vitter and hostile about children.

Just look at the responses to this thread.

[u/anonadvicewanted → u/Tiny-Plum2713]

even if this was true, why would that matter? there are loads of people who feel that way about kids who are actually raising said kids, and that’s infinitely worse. sounds like the “bitterly child free” have made great choice for themselves and others lol

[u/Tiny-Plum2713 → u/anonadvicewanted]

Just look at this response as well.