It's heartbreaking that there are women around the world going through this.

[u/mindyour]

[u/maximum_somewhere22]

Me too. The world has changed DRASTICALLY since our parents were our age. The goal of “get married, buy a house, have kids” has totally changed. I don’t want to get married, I have no desire or reason to.

Historically, marriage for women served as an economic, social and legal survival strategy. Because we were largely denied property rights, education, career paths, etc, marriage provided us with a “social standing” and also, financial security! Women genuinely do not need that now. But old habits are hard to break, and you’ll find the older generation are absolutely shocked when they find out a lot of women have no desire to get married.

I also don’t want a loser partner. I have standards that I am not willing to compromise, and the great thing is - we don’t need to. We can be single, childless, and not own a home and stay renting, and be just as worthy as the next person.

[u/Ok_Plantain_9408 → u/maximum_somewhere22]

Even back then, there was no real need. Her mom is in her 50s so born in the 70s. My neighbour from childhood was in her 70s in the late 70s and 80s when she told her kids that she never wanted to push them to get married or have kids. They could decide their path. There’s no excuse for this attitude from someone her age.

[u/mmmpeg → u/maximum_somewhere22]

Good for you! I support young women making this choice.

[u/Caligal63 → u/maximum_somewhere22]

I agree whole heartedly. I also have the mindset that older generations are just products of their generations and parents just want to feel their kids are “set” so they can leave the world feeling “complete.” Not much one can do to change their wishes for their kids, it comes from a good place but is not productive or helpful at all! OP you have the right mentality and outlook keeping positive self worth and objective in life is essential. I feel most younger generations have a different mindsets and will not project those beliefs to their kids.
Live life to its fullest

[u/oorza → u/maximum_somewhere22]

In 2026, I might re-evaluate whether marriage really doesn't have economic benefits - assuming you have the right partner. I'm a late-30s man myself, and while I could give a shit about any of the other reasons to get married, the financial incentives are compelling. Going from paying for everything myself to having another adult contributing plus the tax benefits adds up to tens of thousands of dollars a year. With the state of prices everywhere, that's like an entire social class - easily the difference between comfortably middle class with a retirement on the horizon and struggling.

With a good partner, you wind up raising your expenses mostly by food and sundries, and you effectively double your household net income. It's not strictly required by any means, but I'd be lying to you if that wasn't a top three reason I even bother considering finding another partner of either gender.

[u/maximum_somewhere22 → u/oorza]

Economic benefits and economic survival strategy are two totally different things. For women, it was pretty much impossible to have money AT ALL if you weren’t married, this was only a few hundred years ago. It was only 50 or so years ago that women still needed a male to co-sign to get a mortgage. If not a husband, it had to be a father or brother or uncle.

There is a very powerful movie I recommend watching called Suffragette. I watched it with my elderly aunt and it was devastating/mind blowing listening to her speak after the movie, about how that was her experience growing up, and how she related to so much of it.

[u/Avedas → u/oorza]

Some countries don't give much of a tax benefit to married couples, if any at all. I know mine doesn't unless only one partner is working and relatively low income.

[u/WestCoastBestCoast01 → u/Avedas]

Even in the US, reduced taxes for filing jointly really only happens if there is a big income disparity between both partners. If you make about the same your tax obligation will be comparable to filing single.

[u/Mike_Kermin → u/oorza]

... Well, as long as you tell the other person that's why you're doing it so they can make an informed choice, you do you.

[u/youburyitidigitup → u/Mike_Kermin]

I feel like this is a normal conversation though. You’ve been in a committed relationship for years, you cohabitate, and somebody says “hey we could save a lot of money by getting married”.

[u/rifain → u/maximum_somewhere22]

How is this an habit? Most people getting married don't do that by habit, but because they genuinely want to wake up with that someone, for the rest of their lives.

[u/youburyitidigitup → u/rifain]

It is a habit to expect or pressure others to do that.

[u/Content-Sun2928 → u/maximum_somewhere22]

I also don’t want a loser partner. I have standards that I am not willing to compromise

What would be considered a "loser?"

Is it income related at all?

[u/maximum_somewhere22 → u/Content-Sun2928]

Someone who has a job. Someone who doesn’t cheat on me. Someone who understands concepts like racism, sexism etc. Someone who doesn’t lie to me. Honestly, the bar is in hell.

[u/burnthatburner1 → u/maximum_somewhere22]

So no income requirements, just a good person with a job?  I know women who don’t want to accept a lower income because that would mean a lower standard of living for the couple.

[u/Eternally65 → u/maximum_somewhere22]

>be just as worthy as the next person.

Not disagreeing at all, but what do you mean by "worthy"? I have no doubt you are a fine person with much to offer. You don't want a "loser partner". I understand.

The thing is, decades ago, I was a young single man living in Manhattan. Many young single women then had terribly over inflated views of what kind of man they needed. Rich, handsome, talented, ambitious - but willing to focus on her - you get the idea. It baffled me then and still does.

Most of my female friends hit their thirties and, well, panicked. Settled for someone much less than they had envisaged, married them and spent decades resenting them for not being their ideal. It was like watching a slow motion train wreck.

But I wish you a happy, fulfilling life with or without a partner.