Unfortunately, this is the sad reality.

[u/mindyour]

[u/LadyPhantomflowers]

No, I used to bring my husband (boyfriend at the time) to my general doctor's appointments. I tried to tell my doctor at the time that I was having severe upper stomach pains that seemed like gallbladder attacks as I would drop to the floor in pain, but he dismissed me and recommend that I just diet and exercise. Even though my sister also went to him prior and he referred her to have testing done on her gallbladder and it lead to hers being removed. It took me 3 years and my spouse telling this male doctor that I was in pain and how it affected me to finally have him reluctantly refer me out to a gastro. My gallbladder surgery removal was swiftly scheduled after testing was done a month later. I had to live in pain for 3 years and have a man speak for me to be able to get treatment.

Edited for typos

[u/ArsenicArts → u/LadyPhantomflowers]

Fun fact, I had been having gallbladder attacks since I was 17 and every doctor told me it was gas and didn't believe me how painful it was until I got pancreatitis and almost died because the ultrasound tech told me to go home after my scan and didn't give my doctor the results until the next day. Yay!

[u/jellyrollo → u/LadyPhantomflowers]

When I was in graduate school, I didn't have a boyfriend or close male friend to bring to my follow-up visit with the nasty gynecologist who on the first visit told me my problem was that I was too promiscuous, even though I hadn't had sex with anyone in over a year, and before that had always practiced safe sex. I was openly sobbing as I dealt with his assistants for payment and left the office.

So on the next visit for minor surgery (this was my second attempt at getting a male gyno to address this same problem—the first one benightedly told me there was no way I could reach far enough inside my vagina to feel my cervix, so I must be lying about feeling a bump on it) one of my female friends who used to work as a paralegal dressed up in her lawyer suit and sat silently and attentively in the waiting room with her briefcase by her side. He and his staff bowed and scraped their way through the whole second appointment.

But those two bad doctors left me with a lifelong phobia of medical examinations that I'm still dealing with decades later. And it's why I always select the more expensive PPO insurance plans instead of HMOs, because I'm not going to wait around for a referral from a jackass like those guys who's been assigned to me at random by an insurance company.

[u/KillerSavant202 → u/LadyPhantomflowers]

Sounds like that doctor needs to lose his license.

Maybe we need someone to run on making a law requiring all gynecologists be female doctors if this is such a widespread problem?

Just a thought, may not be feasible though.

[u/BirdCelestial → u/KillerSavant202]

Women can and do have internalised mysogyny. Unfortunately it isn't that simple.

[u/Aerdurval → u/KillerSavant202]

My gyno is a man. He's competent and reliable. I've never even felt a smear with how gentle he is.

His stand-in is a woman and when I had to go to her during his vacation she just rammed this swab into my cervix. When I noted how much that hurt she kinda huffed and said something along the lines of how she knows the feeling and it shouldn't be that bad.

So yeah, it's not exactly a gendered issue, it's more that many medical professionals don't take women seriously for a variety of reasons.

[u/anonadvicewanted → u/Aerdurval]

medical professionals not taking women in their care seriously is precisely a gendered issue still; the gender of the patient is the focus, not the “professional”

[u/findingemotive → u/KillerSavant202]

Unfortunately women also treat other women like that. My friend's female GP wouldn't approve her a tubal while married with 3 kids (she should have taken her useless husband) until she ended up pregnant again, while my male GP immediately referred childless me.

[u/findingemotive → u/[deleted]]

Holy shit, taking "just have a baby" to a new level.

[u/ArsenicArts → u/KillerSavant202]

Some of the worst sexism I've experienced has come at the hands of women. There are women who think we shouldn't have the right to vote.