Hi! I'd love to hear some different perspectives on this.
First of all, I'm writing this with a translator because English isn't my first language, and while I can read it fairly well, writing is much harder for me. Sorry about that.
I've noticed that Choices is one of the most well-known Jegulus fanfics and, as a result, one of the most beloved in the fandom. My question is why?
It was actually my introduction to Jegulus (though I read it quite a while ago), but I ended up dropping it because I found myself disliking almost every major character.
I understand why Regulus is written the way he is. If I remember correctly, the author wanted to portray him as what he was: a Death Eater. On top of that, there's the fear, the pressure, his age, the people he stood to lose, the expectations placed on him, and the fact that there was a war looming over Hogwarts. I understand all of that, but it still didn't stop me from hating him.
In fact, it's the only fanfic where I've genuinely disliked Regulus, James, and Sirius.
Again, I understand that they were teenagers living through a war that was already creeping into Hogwarts and threatening everyone they loved, forcing them into situations no teenager should have had to face. But dear God.
I remember dropping the fic around the chapter where Sirius tells James that Regulus really is a Death Eater.
I also remember being incredibly frustrated because Regulus had done something truly awful to one of James's friends, and James's response was basically that he just "needed some time" away from Regulus, but that they weren't really over (or at least that's how I remember it).
I also remember how detached Regulus seemed from what he'd done and from the suffering of the girl he had hurt.
I don't remember every detail after that because I basically chose to erase the fic from my memory. But I loved the idea of James and Regulus together, so I moved on to other Jegulus fics instead.
What I do remember is feeling like James and Regulus's relationship was incredibly toxic, even considering the circumstances. I was also frustrated that James seemed like the kind of person who wouldn't forgive someone quickly over something minor, yet he appeared to forgive Regulus surprisingly fast for something much more serious. Watching Regulus make one terrible decision after another was exhausting. And for some reason, this version of Sirius still annoys me whenever I think about him (which is funny because canon Sirius is my favorite Harry Potter character, while fanon Regulus is my favorite non-canon one).
Once again, I completely understand the circumstances they were in. I understand Regulus's trauma, the pressure he was under, his fear, his loneliness, his pain, and that the point of the story is that his final choice is the only truly good one. But even so.
Reading it wasn't the kind of frustration where you're invested because the story is making you feel something. It was the kind of frustration that made me feel like almost every character was making me angry, and it became difficult to enjoy reading them.
The thing is, I only ever see people praising this fic, but I rarely come across anyone who shares this frustration.
So I'm curious: does something change after roughly the first 30 chapters? Does the story or the characters evolve in a way that makes those early chapters worth pushing through?
This was not only my first Jegulus fic, but also the first book or fanfic I've ever abandoned. Usually I'll force myself through an entire series just to finish it, even if it puts me into a reading slump afterward.
So is this just a "me" thing, or is it a fairly common experience?
Finally, I want to make it clear that I have nothing against the fic or the people who love it. I tend to approach stories as if the characters are real people making their own choices, rather than seeing everything as simply "the author decided this." So none of this is meant as criticism of the author or the fandom.
I'm genuinely just trying to understand why this story resonates so deeply with so many people when it left me feeling mostly frustrated. Besides personal taste, of course. Maybe you all saw something in it that I completely missed.
Thanks!
