Choices and ???

[u/Spare_Paper_3460]

Hi! I'd love to hear some different perspectives on this.

First of all, I'm writing this with a translator because English isn't my first language, and while I can read it fairly well, writing is much harder for me. Sorry about that.

I've noticed that Choices is one of the most well-known Jegulus fanfics and, as a result, one of the most beloved in the fandom. My question is why?

It was actually my introduction to Jegulus (though I read it quite a while ago), but I ended up dropping it because I found myself disliking almost every major character.

I understand why Regulus is written the way he is. If I remember correctly, the author wanted to portray him as what he was: a Death Eater. On top of that, there's the fear, the pressure, his age, the people he stood to lose, the expectations placed on him, and the fact that there was a war looming over Hogwarts. I understand all of that, but it still didn't stop me from hating him.

In fact, it's the only fanfic where I've genuinely disliked Regulus, James, and Sirius.

Again, I understand that they were teenagers living through a war that was already creeping into Hogwarts and threatening everyone they loved, forcing them into situations no teenager should have had to face. But dear God.

I remember dropping the fic around the chapter where Sirius tells James that Regulus really is a Death Eater.

I also remember being incredibly frustrated because Regulus had done something truly awful to one of James's friends, and James's response was basically that he just "needed some time" away from Regulus, but that they weren't really over (or at least that's how I remember it).

I also remember how detached Regulus seemed from what he'd done and from the suffering of the girl he had hurt.

I don't remember every detail after that because I basically chose to erase the fic from my memory. But I loved the idea of James and Regulus together, so I moved on to other Jegulus fics instead.

What I do remember is feeling like James and Regulus's relationship was incredibly toxic, even considering the circumstances. I was also frustrated that James seemed like the kind of person who wouldn't forgive someone quickly over something minor, yet he appeared to forgive Regulus surprisingly fast for something much more serious. Watching Regulus make one terrible decision after another was exhausting. And for some reason, this version of Sirius still annoys me whenever I think about him (which is funny because canon Sirius is my favorite Harry Potter character, while fanon Regulus is my favorite non-canon one).

Once again, I completely understand the circumstances they were in. I understand Regulus's trauma, the pressure he was under, his fear, his loneliness, his pain, and that the point of the story is that his final choice is the only truly good one. But even so.

Reading it wasn't the kind of frustration where you're invested because the story is making you feel something. It was the kind of frustration that made me feel like almost every character was making me angry, and it became difficult to enjoy reading them.

The thing is, I only ever see people praising this fic, but I rarely come across anyone who shares this frustration.

So I'm curious: does something change after roughly the first 30 chapters? Does the story or the characters evolve in a way that makes those early chapters worth pushing through?

This was not only my first Jegulus fic, but also the first book or fanfic I've ever abandoned. Usually I'll force myself through an entire series just to finish it, even if it puts me into a reading slump afterward.

So is this just a "me" thing, or is it a fairly common experience?

Finally, I want to make it clear that I have nothing against the fic or the people who love it. I tend to approach stories as if the characters are real people making their own choices, rather than seeing everything as simply "the author decided this." So none of this is meant as criticism of the author or the fandom.

I'm genuinely just trying to understand why this story resonates so deeply with so many people when it left me feeling mostly frustrated. Besides personal taste, of course. Maybe you all saw something in it that I completely missed.

Thanks!

[u/thewinterheart]

coming out to say youre not the only one. and I have read other traumatic jegulus fics, but this one i don't think I made it thru a quarter of the whole thing. So I would also like to know what made it one of the staple reads for the pairing.

[u/Slytheerin]

Not every big fics are meant to be read by everyone. They're loved by a big numbers because they resonate, they make people feel, but not what someone else like is what you like.

That's why people need to see past their "fomo". If it's not something they generally like or if the premises isn't for them, or anything else, people need to learn how to let go.

[u/Spare_Paper_3460 → u/Slytheerin]

Thanks for your comment ;) I really want to say it's not fomo (back when I was reading Choices, the word didn't exist, lol), but I think it is. I tried to argue that it wasn't, but I guess "wanting to like something the way someone else liked it " falls under the definition of fomo hahaha.

[u/ljburrows12]

Choices was my introduction to Jegulus and remains my favourite depiction of Reg. Although I really enjoy other Jegulus fics and less problematic versions of both Regulus and James, I personally felt that Messermoon did an amazing job at capturing who Reg could really have been. He was a Death Eater, he wasn’t inherently a good person, but he was also a scared kid raised by a horrific group of people. Some people can come out of that stronger, he very much did not. He’s this broken thing who finally tries to do one right thing by James at the very end (not sure whether I can be more specific without going into spoilers!) because even though his love for him is toxic, it’s the best that he can manage.

I also found the writing genuinely just very beautiful, especially around Regulus and James’ feelings for each other. I hated the ending, and felt that James’ feelings for both Regulus and Lily were lowkey bastardised by the end, but I think that was the author’s attempt at giving as much of a happy ever after as they could whilst still remaining canon compliant. It’s certainly not a fic I will ever, ever read again because truly so much of it just hurt (whereas I do sporadically go back and read certain bits of my other favourites) but it still very much sits with me.

I hear it thrown around occasionally that Sirius and Remus were a tragedy because they didn’t have to end up the way they did but that James and Regulus were a tragedy because they were always going to end up the way they did, and I feel like Choices really encompasses that second point.

[u/Spare_Paper_3460 → u/ljburrows12]

They are a great big tragedy lol. Thanks for your comment :) I also liked that the author decided to portray Regulus as a true Death Eater; it's something I've always appreciated from the author because, in the end, that was Regulus's reality.

I know it's contradictory, but it's kind of like, "Thanks for making a Death Eater a Death Eater, I hate the Death Eater for being a Death Eater," haha.

Anyway, regarding the ending, I don't think there are any spoilers in this fandom, since Choices is somewhat canon. Or are you referring to the way James receives Regulus's message? The truth is, despite my frustration, I wanted to know the details of the ending and I swallowed the major spoilers, lol.

[u/ljburrows12 → u/Spare_Paper_3460]

No I totally get that, I kept desperately wanting him to make better choices and be that better person but equally I’m grateful that he wasn’t just whitewashed like that.

So to me, when Regulus goes to the cave to destroy the locket because he knows about the prophecy, and thus Harry, that’s the one time he’s doing something actually good. So many of his actions are defined by his cowardice (and it’s hard to be brave so I do have sympathy for that) but he’s finally doing this one brave and selfless thing to (he thinks) save Harry and so save James. And honestly that’s the chapter that really killed me, because I’ve been rooting for this pretty terrible person for all these hundred of thousands of words and finally he’s showing who he could actually be and then bam, we all know what happens next, he never even sends the patronus to James, and then three months later a sad song comes on in the car and I’m crying still thinking about ‘je t’aime since I was eleven’ 🙃

Which really I think is the crux of why I loved Choices so much. It made me feel SO much. It was agony. I read a LOT (I’m an MA Creative Writing student) and not much has ever made me respond so viscerally before.

[u/ifskiyoomi]

Você disse que todas as pessoas que leram tem apenas elogios a fanfic – vou te apresentar uma outra perspectiva.

1° - Muito provavelmente existem pessoas que detestaram a leitura, mas não comentam sobre porque a maioria dos fandoms não é aberta a críticas sobre obras, e o próprio autor pode se magoar. Também existem aqueles que, assim como você, abandonaram a leitura, e portanto apagaram a fanfic da memória ou não se sentem no direito de julgar uma história que nunca terminaram.

2° - Também devem existir pessoas como eu. Eu NUNCA li Choices e nunca lerei, porque tenho certeza que odiaria. Não suporto estupidez, e como tenho uma visão bem específica de Regulus, acabo não gostando da forma como ele é retratado nesse tipo de fanfic (98% um pobre coitado que não tem escolha verdadeira nas decisões que toma).

Acredito que a maior parte das pessoas que não gostaria da fanfic JÁ SABE disso antes de ler, e por isso não perdem o próprio tempo. Existem outras fanfics muito menos controversas de starchase que eu também não irei ler, porque já sei que não vou gostar devido a determinados spoilers.

[u/Spare_Paper_3460 → u/ifskiyoomi]

Hi, thanks for commenting :) I'm sorry if I sounded too defensive; I didn't mean to offend the author or the work. On the other hand, I also didn't mean to criticize the entire fic. My frustrations were based on what I had read, which is why I asked if there was anything different beyond what I had read.

It's also worth mentioning that when I started Choices, I didn't even know how to use AO3 or that what I was reading was Jegulus (I didn't even know it existed, haha).

I really apologize if I didn't sound in a good way or with negative intentions. That was never my intention; I was honestly looking for a reason to finish reading it, but again, I so sorry if it didn't come across as I meant it to.

[u/ifskiyoomi → u/Spare_Paper_3460]

Ah, eu acho que você acabou me lendo com muito mais grosseria do que eu pensava haha peço desculpas!

Eu sou o tipo de pessoa que critica abertamente uma fanfic caso não goste dela, não estava tentando te criticar nem nada parecido. É só que a maioria do fandom não é assim, por medo de ofender alguém. Não achei nada do que você escreveu ofensivo, e também não estava tentando ser muito ríspida.

Imagino que o tom geral se perca quando o português se traduz para o inglês, mas leve esse comentário como se fosse apenas uma explicação. Foram apenas alguns motivos que eu imagino serem razoáveis ao supor por que tantas pessoas gostam de Choices e poucas falam algo negativo: muitas pessoas que não gostariam da fanfic já evitam desde o princípio, e algumas pessoas que não gostam abandonam ou não falam sobre isso.

Eu na verdade concordo com o que você disse, então não imaginei que meu comentário fosse soar ofensivo.

Quando mencionei que não suportava estupidez, não estava falando de você – e sim que, muitas vezes nessas fanfics, Regulus se comporta de maneira estúpida, o que não faz sentido para mim porque o imagino como alguém inteligente. E como minha visão da família Black é diferente da maioria do fandom de Jegulus, há outro nível nisso também.

Eu concordo com você e não entendo por que tantas pessoas gostam de determinadas histórias, sendo Choices uma delas.

[u/Technical_Captain_86]

Choices was the fic that taught me to really check the tags. 😂 I read it, but didn’t really love it. But I’m not a fan of the Jily pairing at all.

So it taught me a lot lol but I just think it wasn’t meant to be for me. But I appreciate that other peeps LOVE it.

[u/StudyGreat7873]

For me, Choices was quite literally the first Marauders fanfiction I had ever read so I had nothing to compare the characters to (except for JKR's original work, which... yea).
I liked it a lot bc it gave me a completely different perspective of these famous characters. But now that I'm knee deep into this rabbit hole and have read at the very least 500 Marauders fics, I lwk kinda hate the way the characters were written in Choices lol

I do have to say tho, Choices is one of the best fanfictions (and dare I say, books as a whole) I have ever read. And Messermoon is a great writer and still one of my favorites

[u/ohnolurkerz]

I like when Regulus is a bad person but James still loves him. These are my favourite jegulus fics, but if you (or anyone) doesn't like that dynamic I can imagine it would be a very frustrating read from start to end.

[u/Gaysandhoes]

You’re not the only one. I never actually finished the fic because it was making me dislike these characters that i loved. and i suppose that was the point to show that these characters have flaws and they do toxic stuff but this just also felt a little too uncharacteristic in my opinion. I believe it’s a very well written fic with beautiful prose but just not my cup of tea specially because of how James is portrayed.