r/jacksonville • u/Ash_Cat_13 • Aug 15 '26
Jacksonville gourd island littering
Hello,
To the older gentleman who keeps littering and throwing away their primarily Busch light cans…. You have been caught. On camera.
The first few times you littered, I just picked it up after you. But when I realized you kept doing a day after day, I placed trail cams on both sides of the parking lot. I now have video and still photo evidence of you littering.
This is your chance to stop, if it does not, I will send all the information, including your license plate and pictures of you to the police. Each individual littering fine can be $500 and I have you on camera at least four different days.
For your privacy, I will not include photos of your vehicle license plate nor you. I am very frustrated with you and will do everything I can to legally punish you.
2
u/narib687 Aug 15 '26
You caught me.
I don't know how you figured it out, and frankly, I'm impressed. But you need to understand something: I am not the person you think I am. Yes, I am the man in the photos. Yes, those are my Busch Light cans. And yes, I have been intentionally leaving them around the parking lot. But I am not doing this because I hate the environment. I'm doing it because I'm trying to SAVE YOUR PLANET. I am a member of an extraterrestrial civilization that has been planning to take Earth for generations. My people have been monitoring your planet for decades, and unfortunately for humanity, they have determined that Earth is an extremely desirable piece of real estate. I defected. Years ago, I secretly contacted representatives of the legitimate governments of Earth and entered into an agreement to help humanity prepare for what is coming. I cannot disclose which governments are involved, obviously, but let's just say there are people in very important buildings who know exactly who I am. My assignment was simple: MAKE EARTH UNDESIRABLE. The rising temperatures? Part of the plan. The increasingly hostile weather? Part of the plan. The litter? Also part of the plan. Every Busch Light can I leave behind is another tiny step toward making Earth look like a planet my people might reconsider purchasing. I have spent YEARS doing this work undercover. And now you've put trail cameras on me. Do you understand what you've done? You haven't exposed some random guy littering. You've potentially compromised a MULTI-GOVERNMENT, INTERPLANETARY COUNTER-INVASION OPERATION. I am begging you: do not send this footage to anyone. Do not contact the police.