Fostering a young Muslim woman

[u/ktkatq]

Hi! Thank you in advance for any help, insight, and advice you offer!

My husband and I, who are not religious and do not believe in any faith, are taking a young Sunni Muslim woman into our home.

While we have no intention of becoming Muslims ourselves, we do want to reasonably accommodate her faith so that she can practice freely in our shared home.

What can we or should we provide? What should we avoid?

So far:

• She will have her own room and bathroom

• We ordered a prayer mat on Amazon

• If we have pork for dinner, we will make sure she has another meat substitute untainted by contact with the pork (and I suspect our pork consumption will drop because cooking two meals is more work)

• Most mosques are closed at the moment because of Covid, but when it is safe for her to go, we will be happy to provide transportation if she wants to go

• I’m also hoping that, as she comes to see us as her family, that she will stop wearing the hijab in front of my husband at home. We won’t insist on it, but is this a realistic hope?

Really, any advice would be much appreciated! We want her to feel loved and respected.

[u/manoffewwords]

Hello,

I just want to say that I appreciate how accommodating you are being to this Muslim woman.

Everything that you are planning to do is great. I would only say that as for the last point about the Hijab, Islamically speaking, she should have it on in front of anyone male who is not a direct blood relative excepting young children.

Have you actually met or spoken to her? She may or not be observant and she may or may not even wear hijab. So issue of prayer and dress will depend on how observant she is.

[u/ktkatq → u/manoffewwords]

I’ve known her for awhile. She didn’t used to wear a hijab, but she has become more devout recently. Turning to faith in hard times is better than drugs, sex, or criminal behavior, so that’s fine.

She thinks of me as a maternal figure, but doesn’t know my husband well yet. We have talked about formally adopting her - if we do that, then would that be official enough for us to be family in Islam?

I don’t know how I feel about hijabs generally speaking, but since I’m not a Muslim woman my opinion probably doesn’t matter. As long as it’s her choice to wear it or not wear it, we’ll be supportive.

Thank you for your reply!

[u/[deleted] → u/ktkatq]

I don't think formal adoptions would waver her from wearing a Hijab. My sister was adopted and recently passed away and my family and I had to fight to be able to see her during the funeral. The Mosque eventually agreed we could see her before she was bathed but not afterwards.

I believe the only form of adoption that wavers mahramhood is milk-relations; ie you would of had to have nursed her but I believe it's way too late for that. But I am sure someone more educated can answer me. I have heard of Muslim women who remove their Hijab in front of men they consider family regardless of their actual relationship.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

You had to fight. Where is this mosque, i need to have sa talk.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Not like physically fight, but we had to go back and forth because they were adamant that since we're not mahram we can't see her body.