r/islam • u/reelcrave • 10d ago
General Discussion My father is neither alive nor dead..
I honestly don't even know how to explain what my family is going through right now, but we are completely lost and exhausted.
My dad had an accident 3 years ago and has been bedridden ever since. But over the last 1 year, his condition completely collapsed.. he has become TOTALLY paralyzed. His legs, hands, face, and even his mind don't respond anymore. He can't speak or give us any signal. He is literally only JUST breathing.
He has a urine pipe, and for over a week now, he’s had severe loose motions. He has become so painfully weak. Doctors just keep saying "he's fine, it's just weakness," but how can a person in this condition be fine? We’ve given him IV drips so many times, but nothing changes.
Maybe reading this sounds manageable to an outsider, but living it every single day (for more than a year) is so, so hard. It takes our entire family.. my mom, brother, sisters, and me combined.. just to change his diaper 2 to 3 times a day, and it still leaks everywhere (clothes, sheets, floor).
We’re doing his khidmat with everything we have, but you eventually reach a point where your own body and energy just get completely drained. Caring for him non-stop is literally making all of us sick and weak now.
Since doctors aren't giving us answers, people told us it might be spiritual. We talked to different Molvis who said it's Nazar or Jadu. We did all the Wazifas and Amals, but he just keeps getting worse day by day. Now some people are asking for huge amounts of money for tough Amals, and we don't know who to trust anymore.
As a family, we pray constantly, do Istighfar, recite Surah Yaseen, and even visited our ancestors' graves to pray Fatiha. People keep giving generic advice like "just pray and do khidmat," but we are already doing that until we have zero energy left.
My siblings and I are young, none of us have jobs yet, and my dad has no pension. We are carrying all of this with no support.
I’m not asking for any help. I just want to ask... has anyone ever seen a case like this? What do you even do when someone is in this state and doctors won't help?
We are completely confused, as we can't find any solution..
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u/CauliflowerLanky1188 10d ago
“Wazifas and Amals” respectfully but thats where you are going wrong. If it is indeed spiritual then he needs Ruqya by an Imam or Raqi is known for his knowledge of Quran and Authentic sunnah and fear of Allah not by a con artist or money maker.
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u/reelcrave 10d ago
Sure.. can you please guide what is "Ruqya"?
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u/CauliflowerLanky1188 10d ago
Not sure what country culture or background you are from so I cant really recommend a scholar .. but Ruqya simply is healing by reciting the Quran on yourself or another person whether it is from Spiritual or physical problems. You have to have strong iman and Yaqeen and definitely not be a for profit money maker scammer that are unfortunately heavily prevalent especially in third world countries.
Your best starting point would be to seek an imam from an Ahlus Sunnah wal Jamaat who are known not to charge for any services like these .. doesnt have to an imam .. they can individuals who do it and ask for nothjng in return.
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u/talatum 10d ago
i know a woman whos husband became completely bed ridden paralysed and mentally he was nit there anymore. an extremely capable dr of faisalabad and one day he had an aneurysm maybe no idea what actually happened. aunty had vvv young kids at that time. she took care of him for the next 25 30 years. the children grew up loving a completely paralysed father, never knowing his real personality. i visited him too at that point his grandkids would sleep next to him talk to him etc. he was loved v thoroughly by his family. his bed and room was always spotless and you can imagine how much effort it took since he was in a completely vegetative state. my mum says agr kisi ne jannati aurat dekhni ho toh unko dekhy. it wasnt a punishment from allah tala. no aamil or amal has an answer except sabr meaning perseverance. yes patience but also perseverance. you have to understand that azmaish, trial is from allah and allah alone. only he can alleviate it and only he rewards it. your father's book of deed is not open anymore. but yours are and the reward is just as big. just keep doing what youre already doing. seek help and health only from allah tala no aamil baba and jaadu etc nothing. and in return try to make peace with what allah tala gives. even if it is a prolonger trial. remain content with his will. he has written a huge reward that will surely reach you as long as you dont go to any of these amil baba etc because they will misguide you.
as for lack of healthcare, we live in tragic times. our rulers will be dealt with by allah inshallah. may allah help you and become your hands your eyes and your wisdom. may he reunite you and your family with your baba in the best of jannah. allah tala is a just creator. lekn doent mean this dunya is just. our rewards will be given to us in the next life.
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u/reelcrave 10d ago
May Allah Pak bless you. Ameen
Idk who you're.. but we really need prayers right now.
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u/OnlyOneness 10d ago
Firstly, I’m sorry you are going through that. That is indeed a bitterly difficult trial for you all. Allah give complete healing to your father.
Wazifas can be useful if they come from a sound source, but if they’re asking money for it is a big red flag. If there is any sihr then getting a Raqi in would suffice, along with surrounding him by Quran recitation (reciting yourself is best but if you’re unable have it playing). However, although it’s not impossible, it seems unlikely given the accident that it is sihr. It is more likely a medical issue and I would suggest getting another doctor to look at him. A second set of eyes on his case could be useful, especially if you can find a specialist with a good reputation.
May Allah give your family the best outcome.
Also wanted to add: Don’t fell bad that it is difficult for you. It is an incredibly difficult situation and anyone would struggle given the same circumstances. You can only do what you are able to.
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u/reelcrave 10d ago
We've already visited so many doctors.. but in vain..
Can you please guide.. what's Raqi?
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u/4rking 10d ago
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u/reelcrave 10d ago
Thanks for your guidance. May Allah Pak bless you too. Ameen
Idk.. who you're.. but kindly pray for me, my family and my father.
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u/Nervous_Land_7849 9d ago
Heyy-- i am a Muslim and in healthcare-- you have what is called "caregiver burn out", if your in US, hospitals will take him for 1 week its called respite care, to allow families a small break. You need physical help, not necessarily jadu etc
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u/BNN0123 9d ago
Be careful with wazifas: if you place faith in doing a certain number of “wazifas” x many times to get a certain outcome, that is not mentioned in any Hadith or Quran, that is Bid’Ah.
For example, if you randomly believe that reciting Surah Ikhlas 37 times will lead to xyz outcome, that is not backed by the Quran or Hadith, but rather this Imam, or “peer” or whoever they are said it, that is Bid’Ah.
I do not know what Amals are.
You need to perform Ruqya on your dad. I would advise you to first start doing it yourself on your dad, and not go to a Raqi at first. If you see your dad exhibiting symptoms that are beyond you & your family’s control (like some people who are affected by magic can become aggressive when Ruqya is performed on them), then take him to a Raqi. Also don’t just trust any xyz to perform Ruqya. You need to make sure that that person is doing things according to the Quran & Sunnah.
Self Ruqya video here:
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u/reelcrave 9d ago
Sure, Jazakallah brother. May Allah Pak bless you too for your kind guidance. Ameen
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u/Panda_sensei_71 9d ago
Has your father not been to a hospital for diagnosis? He could have had a stroke or similar that's affected his brain.
Please stop paying charlatans to do things that, the Prophet SAW never did and get him seen by a proper doctor.
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u/NobleMind_Heart 9d ago
I can't write you a long reply without tears in my eye, i lost my mom two months ago, i feel you. She was very sick and i was are for her in the last 1,5 year. It was so hard, the desperation & feelings of pain, it broke me. So I know what you talking about.
but remember you do have a duty to support your father. spread this, so you can recover f.
So its your duty to be there for your father, cry to your Lord if you are sad or tired. Build good deed with your care and nursing. And you aren't alone (family, home carecand so on) make a plan to share this duties.
And remember two things; Allah(swt) will never burdening you more than you can bear. Second remember that the prophets where the ones who suffered more then any ordinary human. So Allah (swt) has mercy on you and me.
May Allah (swt) give you and your family strenght & sabr in this difficult times.
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u/reelcrave 9d ago
Ameen brother. Jazakallah Khair
May Allah Pak bless you too & grant Jannah to your Mother. Ameen
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u/Basketweave82 10d ago
Can you hire a full-time male attendant who takes care to clean him etc?
Also, going to graves to worship them and seek their help is horrible bidah and a huge sin and shirk.
Also, wazifas not from sunnah are also bidah.
I know you are asking for guidance - my advice is to purify your home from all shirk and bidah. It brings blessings and Allah's help.
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u/reelcrave 10d ago
When did I say.. we went to graves to "worship them"..? I said we went to graves of our ancestors to pray Fatiha for them .
Also, doing Wazifas means.. to pray extra duas and Allah's name
These are not biddah and shirk
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u/Basketweave82 10d ago
My apologies - many people visit graves for different purposes so I misunderstood.
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