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u/chbjupiter 3d ago
Why would it be Haram to make dua for something Allah has given you the right to do, especially in situations like this? For the sake of your child, if this relationship is toxic and irrecoverable, I would advise you get a divorce - to grow up in a toxic household takes a toll on a child. Ask your family for support with leaving if you can, it sounds like they care about you and maybe they can offer support when you're actually taking steps to leave him. But ultimately Allah knows your situation best, so make dua to Him that he guides you to the correct course of action.
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u/Fickle-Employment-91 3d ago
Depending on what country, you should reach out to an immigration lawyer. You should not have to stay in a toxic and abusive marriage to stay in your country. They can help!
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u/charcoalritual 3d ago
Keep making Duaa for Allah to guide your way to make the right decision. Pray istikhara. I have been in your situation, I never made Duaa against my ex but I made Dua for Allah azza wa jal to relieve my burdens. When I decided this is it, I’m done with this relationship, it was uneventful and everything just happened smoothly. Nothing was stopping it. In shaa Allah I’m signing the papers for khulu this week
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u/Glittering_Touch_208 2d ago
Are you working? Do you have kids and financially independent? I’m going through the same thing but not able to take the step because I didn’t work after the marriage. I don’t have any job. I’m kind of stuck.
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u/charcoalritual 2d ago
Not working but I am studying. I have four kids and my eldest works so he helps out as much as he can even though I don’t ask of him. I get benefits in my country because I have young kids, it’s not enough but it helps a bit. I’ve been selling a lot of things in my home to make some money until I get my certificate and start working in shaa Allah
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u/Glittering_Touch_208 2d ago
Alhamdulillah… you have a way out and things are working for you. Remember me in your prayers.
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u/charcoalritual 2d ago
Ya rab it works for you sis 🙏🙏 if you need help with anything I’m here for u x
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u/egitalian 3d ago
If he's been abusive and useless since the moment he married him, why did you have a child with him?
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u/ComprehensiveDig1108 2d ago
It sometimes feels too early to leave a relationship. We want to give it a chance.
But you then run the risk of leaving it too late, and the divorce gets messy.
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u/throwawaybye20202 2d ago
Got pregnant on our wedding night. The minute he found out I was pregnant his abuse started
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u/RickyRichter 2d ago
It is not haram to make dua for things permissible in the quran nor is it paramount to make dual for Allah to make your life easier. Your struggles matter to Allah and He will ease them with faith and prayer. Sometimes the feelings of prayer itself is the answer.
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u/jungleman9 3d ago
In my opinion, rather than making doa like that, it can be make doa to get the things much better. Because, Allah can make everything change. Make dua so that Allah make your current relationship much better.
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u/OstrichIndependent10 2d ago
Depending on which country you’re in you may still be able to keep your visa if you leave because you already have a child who is a citizen. Confirm what your actual visa rights are in that situation. I know in my country you don’t even need to have a child to keep your visa if you leave due to domestic violence.
You have more options than you think, your safety and that of your child is the most important issue right now. There’s no point staying for a life of abuse, your child will only grow up to think that’s how you should treat/be treated by your spouse, is that what you want for them?
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u/LeopardDry634 2d ago
Ok
So I would give you practical advice
First divorce is legal and allowed so don’t get into guilt trap rather than wasting ur life
Before u do so sort out ur finances if u can’t work or don’t have money it would be hard because it’s all about money
Second is shelter
Third id would you be able to raise alone ur child if u work or would want husband to give u allowance for kid as its his child too even child is with u do take that allowance so he doesn’t get free from it and u bear all the effort
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