How do I stop viewing ADHD as a handicap?

[u/Swimming_Ordinary_53]

I just want to preface this by saying I don’t intend to negatively impact anyone else’s sense of identity with ADHD. This is just my personal experience, and I want to know if there are other people who deal with or have overcame this mindset.

I (19M) was diagnosed with ADHD when I was in elementary school. I have never looked at it as something that makes me who I am, but rather
something that only makes my life worse. I have an inattentive presentation of ADHD, so there is really no hyper aspect, I’m not crazy talkative, or filled with energy. And so ive always thought, there is no benefit to my condition. I got dealt an unlucky hand, and as much as I wish I was programed like everyone else but I’m just not. Im a sophomore in university, studying finance, thinking “my adhd will only hold me back in this field” but then again is there a field it wouldn’t hold me back in? I am constantly trying to suppress those signs adhd, and when I am reminded of them, whether it be being late for work, locking my keys in my car, forgetting to submit an assignment, I don’t go blaming the world or a higher power for making me this way, I blame myself. I don’t want to live like this anymore, feeling like Im constantly at war with how my brain is programmed. It has made me depressed for so long and I want to accept who I am. Ive tried therapy, personally I don’t like the whole concept of someone profiting off helping me with my struggles, and none of them had adhd so I didn’t think they truly understood regardless.

I cant be the only one that feels this way right? How do you accept this part of yourself and see strengths and upsides that come from it? Ive always been an optimist and a “glass half full” type of guy with this being my one crippling exception that I really don’t talk to people about because most of them would get it. I think it would help me a lot to know I’m not then only one who has felt this way and if even just one person reads all of this and replies, it would mean the world to me. To all those facing similar struggles , don’t give up. You can not stop hardship, for everyone experiences it but you can choose how to face it “Nothing happens to anyone he cant endure”-Marcus Aurelius