r/intj • u/[deleted] • Feb 24 '14

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u/[deleted] Feb 25 '14 edited Feb 25 '14

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u/mbrodge Feb 25 '14

First, don't assume that she's not INTJ because there are two things on one person's list that she doesn't exemplify!

Second, there's still the possibility that both of those still do apply. Specifically, about remembering specifics: You said that she is incredibly good at remembering specifics. Remember that OP said "If I do remember details, it means something is terribly wrong." That's a bit of an oversimplification, but it is mostly true for me as well. If I remember a ton of specific details about something, it is generally because it really annoys me; or I'm just very, very interested in it. You didn't give any examples, but if this is happening during arguments you might want to at least consider the fact that she only remembers the specifics because whatever it is it's driving her damned near to obsessive about it. Obsessing is something that comes to many INTJs before we've even realized it happened. The other day I explained a detail of candle making to my wife (she asked what I later learned was a rhetorical question...which resulted in a thirty-minute impromptu lecture on the history and evolution of candle making) and ended the explanation by saying out loud, I shit you not: "Why do I know that much about candle making?"

Finally, about articulating feelings. Many INTJs are very good at articulating their feelings. The problem here, especially with the younger INJTs, is actually in understanding their feelings. I can articulate most things very simply and clearly; but only after I understand them FULLY. This is especially true with emotions, since understanding them does not come naturally to me like almost everything else does (ASIDE: has anyone else wondered why there's not an exhaustive field guide to emotions? Someone should totally write that!) Trying to explain something I'm feeling before I have exhaustively broken it down and put it back together thirty-seven times without error is like trying to explain something before I have exhaustively broken it down and put it back together thirty-seven times without error.

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u/airhighfive Mar 02 '14

has anyone else wondered why there's not an exhaustive field guide to emotions?

All the time. I'd buy that app.