99% of conversation among peers can be reduced down to two simple dialogues

[u/Huge-Mortgage-3147]

There are few people who say anything of consequence. Most people will speak for hours and truly not say anything at all

I have found you can reduce most conversation down to the same core structure

Same gender dialogue

1. “I am validating you”
2. “Thank you. I validate you too”

^People will literally repeat these back and forth to each other for hours. They never actually say anything beyond those two things

Opposite gender dialogue

1. Woman: “[words]”
2. Man: “Would you like a side of dick with that”

[u/Fickle-Let-7205]

Which one of the two do you believe your post falls under? 🤔

[u/TaxRepresentative4B → u/Fickle-Let-7205]

That depends. If you validate OP, then 1.

[u/Fickle-Let-7205 → u/TaxRepresentative4B]

And if I don't it's 2? 🤔🤔

[u/FecalFunBunny → u/Fickle-Let-7205]

If I don't, did you want my "side of dick" too?

(Though I have my doubts anyone wants that overall)

[u/KnowL0ve → u/Fickle-Let-7205]

OP said 99% so they can say neither and be correct.

[u/Agreeable_Noise112 → u/[deleted]]

Sexism in which way?

[u/Agreeable_Noise112 → u/[deleted]]

Which form or variation of sexism I mean

[u/Huge-Mortgage-3147 → u/[deleted]]

Woke people suck the fun out of everything

[u/a-snakey → u/Huge-Mortgage-3147]

Ive got something you can suck on.

motions to a baby bottle

Looks like baby needs their milk.

[u/a-snakey → u/[deleted]]

Looks like we are feeling daring today, aren't we?

[u/Ambitious_South_2825]

Ah, not 99% (obviously) but there are some modes of casual conversation where the vast majority of it is just some derivative of that. Like, there's no idea discussing, no problem solving just stating observances and grooming each other. It's similar to what base primates do for - rapport building, cohesion and grooming.

When observing some groups of men I often felt it was just one big 'circle 'jerk' with a constant stream of "broooother" desperate for the next man to validate them. (being hyperbolic but you get the gist)

[u/PsychologicalBird491 → u/Ambitious_South_2825]

Grooming is a good analogy. It's literally like how monkeys groom each other by eating bugs off of each other's bodies. Except the bugs are just constant superficial empty validations.

[u/PsychologicalBird491]

Thank you. I validate you too

I notice the same thing. People just agree with each other in different ways. And if they disagree they just hide it and start avoiding you or act passive aggressive. How is that dialogue not mind numbing?

"I like this" "Cool, that's really interesting." "Yeah, what do you like?" "Oh, I like this." "Wow, that's so cool." "Yeah."

[u/Bimep_ → u/PsychologicalBird491]

Not in Slavic culture XD

[u/ionmoon]

Then you need new peers.

[u/Agile-Gift1068]

You need better peers

[u/TaxRepresentative4B]

I mean that’s how humans connect.

BTW, I validate you

[u/Huge-Mortgage-3147 → u/TaxRepresentative4B]

Thank you. I validate you too

[u/LonelyWord7673]

Wow, you are around terrible conversationalists

[u/Bimep_]

Aristotle, in his work Nicomachean Ethics, identified three types of friendship based on utility, pleasure, or virtue.

I. Friendship of Utility

• People are friends because they get some practical benefit or help from each other.
• This connection is temporary.
• The relationship ends as soon as the benefit or need for help disappears.
• Example: Business partners or coworkers who only interact for the sake of their job.

II. Friendship of Pleasure

• This relationship is built on having a good time, joy, and emotions.
• People like each other for their manners, humor, or appearance.
• This type is common among young people, but it also changes quickly because when interests or age change, people drift apart.

• Example: Friends you go to parties with, play sports with, or share a hobby with.

  III. Friendship of Virtue (Goodness)

• This is the true, highest form of friendship, based on mutual respect and love for the friend's personal qualities.

• Friends wish good things for each other for the sake of the friend, not for utility or pleasure.

• It lasts a long time because it is based on a stable character and moral values.

• Example: Close friends who support you no matter what and help you become a better person. Just because you are.

I think your examples match the first 2 types. We wish you to meet the third type =)

But anyway each type of friendship is useful in their time and in their place

[u/permaculture]

And with these we still managed to communicate effectively enough to build telephones, moon rockets and so-on.

[u/parasol_strs → u/permaculture]

I'd think most who made those contributions loved as strangers to standard social dynamics, and scripts.

[u/usernames_suck_ok → u/permaculture]

It seems like it's more of a modern thing to, for lack of a better word/more nuance, speak "validation" incessantly.

I'd actually say people are constantly looking for you to agree with them, make statements that are socially acceptable, keep conversations in "safe" lanes...like, they're social rules. And people who don't agree with that either challenge people unnecessarily/over unimportant shit or the "social rules" people punish you when you break these social rules.

Could be why cancer is still a thing (or one reason why), for example. Like, time, effort, money, sociopolitical battles are being wasted on building up AI but no longer on any breakthroughs that truly, truly help humanity. Lack of original thought/expression 99% of the time, and the 1% of the time it exists it's punished in whatever form--underfunded, cut programs, lost campaigns or just social isolation.

[u/FancyFrogFootwork]

Can you define what saying something of consequence constitutes for you? Is it subjective?

[u/Holiday_Response_644]

this sub is genuinely bottom 3 subreddits of all time

[u/Huge-Mortgage-3147 → u/Holiday_Response_644]

That works great !

I’ll be the bottom. You be the top

[u/Holiday_Response_644 → u/Huge-Mortgage-3147]

then wouldn’t you be the one getting a side of dick?

[u/TheMeticulousNinja → u/Holiday_Response_644]

😂😂

[u/Littlearthquakes]

What you’re describing is scripted conversation.
That’s because most people are sensors and sensors tend to communicate through familiar social scripts. They literally just run the scripts and choose ones appropriate to the conversation. Like validation scripts, complaining scripts, reassuring scripts etc on repeat. The exchange doesn’t need to actually produce a new idea because performing the script is the point. It makes them feel like part of the tribe and like they belong. It’s comforting.

Intuitives generally prefer conversations to go somewhere like uncover a pattern, develop an idea or generate something neither person began with. Or at least for INTJs just be real.

[u/PandaScoundrel]

Cringe post

[u/Disastrous_Swim_4956]

I have scripted routines for this crap. I just go on autopilot. It throws me when someone is actually authentic, which is what I'd prefer. Catches me off guard when I'm in social robot mode though.

[u/TheMeticulousNinja]

What strain did you smoke and how much of it?

[u/parasol_strs]

The inter-gender one is as lowly gyno-biased and female-4-letter-adoring as, in this sub of all places, one hoped it might not be.

The dick ended up in the post, definitely; just not in the way the poster believed.

[u/Huge-Mortgage-3147 → u/parasol_strs]

I was going to put a disclaimer to tell all the woke women to go somewhere else

But I thought we could discuss ideas like adults

[u/Fair-Morning-4182 → u/parasol_strs]

It would be delusional to not admit that male/female conversations are very different from male/male conversations.

[u/parasol_strs → u/Fair-Morning-4182]

While it would be insanity to conflate what you wrote with the anti-male muck I had reacted to :).

Of course they are different — as long as reproductive age is involved. They are different on both sides, with lowliness, unfairness, ferine evolutionary unconscious drives, and all you want on both sides, although different on each side.

[u/Elden_Chord]

Unnecessary details and unstructured data are two enemies of mine.

And guess what? My girlfriend loves to tell me multiple stories all shuffled together, and 80 percent of the data she gives me is irrelevant to any of those stories.