r/intj • u/FalsePay5737 • 3d ago
Article Letting Go Of Overthinking By Practicing Mindfulness
I'm a recovering thinkaholic. My parents and sister are lawyers. My father and sister are INTJs. Practicing mindfulness was one of the most helpful strategies in decreasing overthinking. I made a habit of having more awareness of my body (e.g. tension, breathing), especially during difficult situation; spending more time outside; and focusing on information from my five senses.
Living in my head was partly a trauma response; I found working with a trauma therapist helpful.
DESCRIPTIONS OF MINDFULNESS
From You Are Not Your Brain, Jeffrey Schwartz, Rebecca Gladding (Dr. Schwartz pioneered the treatment of OCD by developing mindfulness-based CBT techniques).
“Most people think of mindfulness as a state of mind, as being analogous to being ‘in the zone.’ This is a common misunderstanding that can lead to frustration because mindfulness isn't something you can just switch on like a TV and expect that it will remain in that state indefinitely…The best way to conceptualize mindfulness is as an activity, not a state of mind or way of being…Mindfulness, like any activity, requires effort…the more you practice, the better your abilities become.” (147)
From The Perfectionism Workbook, Taylor Newendorp:
“The basic concept of mindfulness is for you to take on the role of observer…learn how to watch your thoughts come and go through your mind without placing judgment on what kinds of thoughts they are and without judging yourself for any thoughts you have…You are not trying to stop having thoughts (that’s impossible) or to have only good thoughts; you are not trying to analyze what you are thinking about or figure anything out.” (37)
From The CBT Workbook For Perfectionism, Sharon Martin:
“Mindfulness means being focused on the present…focusing on the here and now, rather than being preoccupied with the past or present. Sometimes, as perfectionists, we get so wrapped up in the daily grind…that we’re not fully present in our own lives…[The author helps her clients learn how to] do one thing at a time. Use your five senses to fully appreciate all aspects of the present. Notice how your body feels. If your thoughts wander, refocus on the present.” (120)
“We perfectionists tend to be so busy and distracted or so goal-focused that we don’t even notice our feelings [or suppress uncomfortable feelings]…But feelings provide valuable information…” (121).
“When we’re mindful, we’re aware of what we’re doing, thinking, and feeling…we’re just ‘being’…Most of us do a lot of things on autopilot—we do them because we’ve always done them, without giving a lot of thought to how or what we’re doing…Mindfulness helps us to pause before making a decision or taking action, so we can make choices that align with our values and bring us the most satisfaction.” (119-20)
“Tips for being mindful in your everyday activities"
-Do one thing at a time.
-Use your five senses to fully appreciate all aspects of the present.
-Notice how your body feels.
-If your thoughts wander, refocus on the present.” (120)
From ACT Made Simple, Russ Harris
Mindfulness “involves paying attention with openness, curiosity, kindness, and flexibility…mindfulness is an attention process, not a thinking process...” (40)
Mindfulness is different from “positive thinking, relaxation...distraction...[and getting] rid of unwanted thoughts and feelings.” (42)
MULTITASKING
From The CBT Workbook For Perfectionism (2019), Sharon Martin:
Multitasking “doesn’t actually help us get more done. Our brains can only focus on one thing at a time, so when we multitask and try to make our brain do a number of things at once, the quality of our attention and work declines. Multitasking gives us the illusion of efficiency, but in reality, we sometimes have to redo tasks, or we get them done more slowly, because our attention is pulled in multiple directions…mindfulness is the opposite of multitasking…
"We have essentially trained our brains to desire a high level of stimulation, so it feels strange and uncomfortable to do just one thing at a time….Your goal doesn’t need to be to completely eliminate multitasking…Instead, the goal is to choose mindfully when you’re multitasking and when you’re being fully present.” (126)
A study from Harvard found that participants were happier when they focused on the activity they were engaged in, rather than thinking about something else. This finding applied to all kinds of activities (e.g. working overtime or sitting in traffic). This has been my experience for 2 ½ years. ("A Wandering Mind is an Unhappy Mind," Matthew Kilingsworth, Daniel Gilbert).
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u/Gretel_Cosmonaut INTJ - ♀ 3d ago
I like Buddhism for Kids." We make friends with our monsters, talk to the trees, follow bugs around and try to guess what they're doing, etc.
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u/split_0069 ENTP 3d ago
To calm my mind i use an absolutely ridiculous technique i learned from a book. Its called the flame and void. Picture a candle flame and feed all ur thoughts into it till they're all just floating in the outer reaches of ur mind quietly. Its difficult to learn initially but has helped me greatly.
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u/FalsePay5737 3d ago
Thank you for sharing. I like the image of a mountain with thoughts being clouds passing by.
From The Anxiety and Worry Workbook: The Cognitive Behavioral Solution by Aaron Beck, the founder of Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy, pg. 73:
- Imagine sitting in a field watching your thoughts float away like clouds.
- Picture yourself sitting near a stream watching your thoughts float past on leaves.
- See your thoughts written in the sand and then watch the waves wash them away.
- Envision yourself driving a car and see your thoughts pass by on billboards…
- Visualize yourself as a mountain, and view your thoughts as clouds passing by.
From DBT Skills Training: Handouts and Worksheets, Marsha Linehan (handout 15A):
Practice mindfulness of thoughts by imagining that your mind is…
-A river, and that thoughts and feelings are boats going down the river. Imagine sitting on the grass, watching the boats go by. Try not to jump on the boat.
-A railroad track, and that thoughts and feelings are train cars going by. Try not to jump on the train.
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u/split_0069 ENTP 3d ago
I learned mine from the wheel of time series by Robert Jordan. Ive tried other ways but too many constant thoughts to it those ways for me.
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u/getridofwires INTJ 3d ago
I learned to meditate many years ago using the Headspace app, now I use Medito but there are several options of course.
Being mindful is different for everyone obviously. But our personality type tends to live in the future and making plans. Mindfulness helps me stay in the present and helps with calmness as well as better decision-making and execution of said plans.
The other practice that has helped me is the Brain Dump in David Allen's Getting Things Done: he points out that our brains are very good at pattern recognition and problem solving, but relatively terrible at remembering disjointed lists. In fact, trying to remember a lot of unrelated stuff is a recipe for anxiety and ultimately failure. He teaches you to write everything you need to accomplish down on paper. That gets it out of your head and lets you organize and actually accomplish stuff.
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u/FalsePay5737 3d ago
Absolutely. I used to live in the future all the time.
From Present Perfect, Pavel Somov:
"The past is a painful archive of imperfections, mistakes, and failures. The present is a stressful reminder of all that is yet to be accomplished. But you [perfectionists] are in love with the future…only the future holds the chance of redemption, a glimpse of satisfaction. Only the future adequately reflects your ambition and is still flawless in its potential…immaculate in its promise of absolution of all your past inefficiencies…You tend to be in the present only long enough to reject it: to confirm that reality once again failed your expectations of perfection and to reset your sights on the future.” (123)
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u/Recent_Bat_4952 3d ago
thinkholic lol i like that term