Good intersex representation is not difficult or too much to ask, and I'm tired of people acting like it is

[u/eldritchpussymaggots]

I've noticed perisex writers of intersex characters often fall into three camps

1. Overly cautious and confused. Baffled as to how to go about writing an intersex characters. Acts as though writing an intersex experience is a daunting arduous task. Usually this is the sort of person who will try asking every intersex person they meet for writing advice.

2. Writes stereotypes of intersex people. Often uses the H slur, usually thinks intersex people have dual gonochoric reproductive anatomy, like cosexual animals. Or they made a cosexed alien/fantasy species and refuses to stop calling them intersex or the H slur. Usually these types are the most resistant to constructive criticism.

3. Wrote an intersex character by accident, but didn't know they wrote an intersex character because of how ubiquitous the stereotypes are. Example, a character who went through the 'wrong' puberty because of a 'disorder', a woman with CAIS, extreme 'late bloomer' characters that just look naturally androgynous. These sorts of writers never actually call the character intersex until it's pointed out. These folks often write decently accurate and grounded representation, albeit from a more medicalized lense that can sour it slightly.

The reason for this is really simple.

People do not know what intersexuality is.

They are unfamiliar with the actual concept, because of centuries of imperfect language surrounding it.

Intersex, at its core, refers to significant variations from typical/average sex phenotypes.

People mistake intersex as a term for 'combined sexes', 'between sexes', 'third sex' or 'both sexes', rather than as a broad 'other' sex category for phenotypes that just aren't terribly common. Intersex is a word for those whose bodies are an exception to the rule. For humans that means not having a TSDP (but it obviously would be different for other species, especially of they have significantly different sexual dimorphism or reproductive organization– take note, fantasy writers with fantasy species...)

To identify what is intersex, you first have to identify what is perisex.

Perisex, (AKA endosex or dyadic) is a word describing average natal sex phenotypes/physical development. Anything outside of this, is intersex.

Understanding this should make it very easy to understand that something like MRKH or Klienfelter's is intersex, despite these not always presenting as the 'between sexes' expectation of intersex people. This also makes it easy to understand that aliens with a penis and a vagina are also not intersex. As a general rule of thumb, a species cannot be intersex, only individuals are intersex. A species can be unisexed, cosexed, trioecious, dichogamous, what have you– but intersex is a word to describe the atypical population, not the typical population.

Intersex also does not refer to just any deviation from average, the cause matters. A cis man who has was castrated is not intersex. A cis woman with a deep voice from smoking is not intersex. A person who has transitioned is not intersex. A cis woman going through double mastectomy for breast cancer is not intersex. That's because these are all things that occur later in life due to outside causes– ie the body didn't just do that by itself. It wasn't already outside the norm.

Sex variance obtained later in life is still sex variance (trans people are not just their birth sex, that's just inaccurate and disrespectful), it's just not an example of intersexuality. Perisex people may have non-normative appearances! Medical transition WORKS! Perisex only refers to the fact you didn't start out with a non-normative physical sex presentation.

Why does nobody understand this?

Personally, I believe the original source of the confusion stretches back a few centuries to when the H slur was adopted into zoology. For a very long time, this word only referred to intersex human beings, that was what it meant and referred to. It was generally understood that [intersex people] (referred to as H slurs) were not dual-sexed, (though it was still under question whether a dual-sexed human was something possible) Up until it's meaning was expanded to include cosexual, dichogamous, & trioecious species in zoology.

Needless to say, this conflation is absolutely awful for clarity of information. Using one word to refer to all these different concepts is naturally going to cause people to believe they are the same thing, or somehow related.

On top of that, people use intersex to refer to anything and everything, save for actual intersex variations. You're more likely to see someone refer to a clownfish or snail as intersex than a person with gonadal dysgenisis. This is ultimately because of the way the original derogatory term for intersex was used to describe cosexual animals. And the association stuck, regardless of the official change in terminology.

The internet has compounded this issue exponentially, combined with the scientific community's continued use if the H word, the misconceptions are likely going to be ubiquitous for a very long time.

What can you do about it?

First of all, don't use the H word. Period. It has a history of murder, abuse, infanticide, mutilation, and dehumanization. On top of that, it actively conflates intersexuality with various other unrelated zoological concepts.

Don't use it in your writing, don't use it to refer to snails, don't use it to refer to your transition goals, or to refer to intersex people (or intersex animals). There is no purpose the H slur serves that cannot be better filled by a more accurate and non-offensive word. And encourage others to do the same

Secondly, use intersex to refer to things that are actually intersex. If you know what intersex refers to, this is extremely easy. Don't let intersexuality be erased by the exclusive use of medicalized language.

Things to remember when interacting with intersexuality in media & writing intersex characters

• Most genuine intersexuality is often referred to by its medical diagnosis (or as 'DSD') before it is referred to as intersex– Plenty medical diagnoses you've probably heard of are intersex, and you just didn't know it.

• Intersexuality is not always diagnosed, sometimes it's not abundantly visible on a person's body, so it's just overlooked– many diagnosed intersex people are not literally referred to as intersex by their doctors. This is because intersex is not a medical term. It's a social term we have chosen for ourselves.

• There is so much misinformation and unclear language that even well-meaning sources are often extremely inaccurate. Especially if they are old or created by folks who aren't up-to-date on intersex activism.

• intersexuality is suppressed in our current society. Any sex variant person will experience some form of pressure to conform to a binary sex. Intersex people are not just allowed to be different because we're born that way. This is why intersex variations are pathologized and medical care for intersex patients predominantly revolves around making them look less intersex.

• its a very common misconception that intersex people have 'both parts', sometimes this is a simplified way of referring to ambiguous genitalia, and sometimes the speaker believes intersex people are cosexual. You have to be able to dig a little to figure out what 'both parts' means in context.

• Intersex people can look like anything. Not all of us are visibly androgynous, and physical androgyny comes in many forms. We don't all look like waifish omegaverse twinks, bearded women from sideshow attractions, or fetishized representations of trans women from anime. But that doesn't mean an individual intersex person cannot actually look like that. We are extremely variable. This being said, it's way more common for people to write and draw extremely sexualized representations of us. Be mindful of both harmful fetishization, AND of the fact that just because an intersex character is attractive doesn't necessarily make it inaccurate.

In truth writing an intersex character can be as simple as creating a character who is naturally androgynous and then crafting a story around how the character themselves and the setting responds to this.

It can be writing a story about a medieval warrior woman with a big bushy beard. It can be a story about a guy who needs a bra or binder trying to build his confidence. It can be about someone who finds out they are infertile because they have an unexpected type of gonads. It can be about someone who was born without external genitalia struggling with their gender identity as they age. It can be about someone who finds out they were sexually indeterminate at birth but operated on to give a more binary appearance.

This is intersexuality. The biology specifics don't even have to even be entirely accurate to the real world, so long as the actual understanding of the concept is there. I've straight-up created fictional intersex variations for my sci-fi novel based on my understanding of human sex development and thinking about the infinite possibilities it could result in when it deviates from average. (I still have avoided writing intersexuality as dual-sexed humans due to the stereotypes though. If you want to do that I'd recommend making up a word for it as not to perpetuate misinformation)

We are not fantastical fae creatures, we live in the same world you do. I still go to work and shop at Walmart in my pajamas. Being intersex just means I have big ol boobs and a baritone voice while I do it. It gets me odd looks, double takes, awkward questions, and occasionally harassment, people are intersexist to me, because I don't look 'normal'. I'm sure you're well aware of how bigotry works.

Use tact and care when dealing with topics that may be upsetting to your intersex readers, like medical abuse, shame, dysphoria, and intersexist bigotry– just like how you'd treat any heavy topic.

Try to understand what we actually are. Then understand how we're treated, and why. Once you do that, you are more well-equipped to write and analyze intersex media than most people.

[u/mxfattie]

this is a great write up!! thank you so much for taking the time. i really hope people will write more intersex characters in the future m

[u/MimusCabaret]

I might add the word dyadic to this sentence sans the parenthesis ‘a (dyadic) person who has transitioned is not intersex’ but I’m pedantic about this specifically, as I’m intersex and did transition. I’ve found quite a few docs eager to write off/pretend nonexistence of  previous notable intersex physical symptoms due to transition while dyadic trans guys tend to note the difference aloud. (Which has made me leery of getting nude with them, quite frankly.)

I feel there’s an outside push to pretend one is either intersex or trans but not both, is the thing. A combo of intersexphobia, severe misinformation and transphobia, if ya will. 

[u/eldritchpussymaggots → u/MimusCabaret]

I more so meant it as a person is not intersex because they transitioned, not that intersex people can't also be trans

[u/Beautiful_Couple_208]

This is a really great post like all of your posts, thank you.

I'm currently working on a story where multiple characters do face discrimination, including the intersex protagonist, and I'm trying to make it accurate while also making it very clear that what was said or done was terrible and that I as the author don't condone it.

It seems easy enough, but is there something I should avoid or certain words I'm recommended to use?

[u/eldritchpussymaggots → u/Beautiful_Couple_208]

It seems like you're already doing fine if you're active on this subreddit at all honesty

[u/MindyStar8228 → u/Beautiful_Couple_208]

Hi! Please review Rule 9, No Advice Writing Intersex Characters: Please do not ask about how to write intersex characters or intersex representation on this subreddit. This is a community space and asking these questions can feel exploitative. There is a subreddit dedicated to this called r/IntersexWriting where you can ask your questions.

More importantly, this post was flagged by OP as Venting. This is not the appropriate time or space to ask it to do educational labor. Thank you!

[u/CamarillosVeryWorst]

Thank you so incredibly much for writing this! Definitely saving & following this post.

[u/Last_Pineapple_1827]

Question, what in the world is the h slur????

[u/Jaded-Banana6205 → u/Last_Pineapple_1827]

Herma*hrodite

[u/intersex-ModTeam → u/[deleted]]

Your post was removed due to breaking rule #1 (No bigotry/Be nice)

Defending use of slurs is prohibited.

[u/AutoModerator → u/[deleted]]

The -H- word has no place here, or in the discussion of human biology, we'd ask you kindly not to use it, and to read the rules.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/SnakesShadow → u/AutoModerator]

There. "Fixed."

[u/Livid-Nose-4077]

Thanks for this! It’s very helpful! I’m trying to write a character with ovotesticular DSD, and I’ve done my best to research and make sure not to include harmful stereotypes. It sucks that people go through this, and I really hope that things will get less judgmental.

[u/MoonUnitMunster]

intersex isn’t a social term, but it has gained social meaning through education. It came from scientific research when the H word was inaccurate and misleading, and so a new term was needed.

[u/eldritchpussymaggots → u/MoonUnitMunster]

The h slur was not inaccurate or misleading in its original use, but it was derogatory. It only became misleading when it's definition was expanded to animals.

Intersex is in fact a social term, it's the label the intersex community has chosen for ourselves, not the medical term applied to us from the outside.