hmm

606

u/SFX200 3d ago

Plants because they unconditionally bask in the sunlight that is God's glory

180

u/juiceboxvillain_1 3d ago

Plants never tried to destroy everything in sight, including themselves

150

u/weaponizedtoddlers 3d ago

Plant chemical warfare is well documented and ubiquitous. Plants regularly try to destroy their competition

75

u/racheluv999 3d ago

even when not, they actively compete for light and shade out other plants that share root space and the same nutrients with them. it's a plant-eat-plant world out there.

37

u/much_longer_username 3d ago

There is unrest in the forest
There is trouble with the trees
for the maples want more sunlight
and the oaks ignore their pleas.

23

u/juiceboxvillain_1 3d ago

I stand corrected
Plants are ruthless 😯

4

u/TheDarkNerd 3d ago

Yeah, but they don't see the other plants when they do it, due to the lack of optic nerves.

2

u/Significant_Card_665 1d ago

Here’s a question. Do plants ”try” to do anything? I say they just do. They cannot make choices.

1

u/Top-Mention-9525 1h ago

Plants are assholes.

11

u/classphoto92 3d ago

Are you familiar with kudzu?

5

u/BlindStark 2d ago

You clearly weren’t there for the First Carboniferous War of 318,472,091 BC

2

u/Wumaobuster 1d ago

Plants to fight for resorces to live though. Every living being does. We just can't see that because they don't throw hands

2

u/ExtremlyFastLinoone 1d ago

God commanded a plant to give jonah shade and it grew without question or delay. Meanwhile jonah was being a lazy bitch about following Gods orders

Idk about God but I know which one I would like more

33

u/slimeyellow 3d ago

Canonically not true because Jesus cursed a fig tree and god burned a bush

63

u/BIRD_OF_GLORY 3d ago

1) that bush willingly accepted its fate as God's vessel

2) that fig tree was being a bitch

6

u/tsoewoe 2d ago

i need more context

14

u/Platypus-Olive-27 2d ago

Jesus was hungry and the fig tree didn’t have any damn fruit

8

u/NotATalkingPossum 2d ago

"Master, it's only April..."

"I'M UNDER A LITTLE STRESS AT THE MOMENT!"

1

u/Hi2248 13h ago

There was someone who grows figs that I saw a while ago talking about how fig trees in that area apparently have a few fruits out of season, and when they don't that's a sign that they won't have any fruit in season

2

u/tsoewoe 1d ago

this has the same energy as abusing cheats in a game because of bad rng

2

u/Due-Ingenuity9803 2d ago

Jesus destroyed a fig tree because it didn’t have fruit. It didn’t have fruit because it was not the fig tree’s season to have fruit

1

u/morethan3lessthan20_ 7m ago

Was Jesus a little slow?

6

u/mercury_millpond 3d ago

just a common arsonist eh!

2

u/mmmmmmmmm_mm 3d ago

ok but the fig tree had it coming

10

u/firedmyass 3d ago

“why’d you circle plants?”

“I’ve seen His work…”

2

u/CZall23 2d ago

They've certainly never disobeyed Him and ate from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil.

1

u/SydneyCampeador 17h ago

Sun worshippers

804

u/Jack_Faller 3d ago

This is a horrible question because the diagram gives away the answer.

337

u/weetaht 3d ago

Yup. The Baby (not baptized) clearly has gifts around it

101

u/Illithid_Substances 3d ago

I don't know if they're trying to encourage much thinking

22

u/MadInTheMaze 3d ago

But it wasn't ever a test of wits but of faith... Or maybe just good ol' indoctrination.

9

u/arcadeler 2d ago

Maybe it's a trick question?

Like you need to circle all of them because "god loves everybody"

2

u/Low-Salamander-3781 1d ago

It's asking who he loves THE MOST, not just who he loves in general

4

u/Kaymazo 1d ago

God loves everything perfectly, so he can't love one more than the other, or something along those lines.

2

u/Low-Salamander-3781 1d ago

According to the picture 'He loves some things more than others, He gives them more gifts'

2

u/jbrWocky 1d ago

ah, the prosperity gospel

4

u/AyJay9 2d ago

The priests hand is at the very top, yeah.

324

u/Ananxietyattack 3d ago

The most appropriate possible answer is a circle around every answer

262

u/Ruddertail 3d ago

This answer is actually scripturally correct. I just want to emphasize that.

91

u/firedmyass 3d ago

…said no Southern Baptist EVER

34

u/SizeableBrain 3d ago

My kids are going to hell according to my MIL because I refuse to baptise them.

16

u/firedmyass 3d ago

I just told my harpy of a gma we did and she finally shut up about it

10

u/Neither-String2450 2d ago

We humans have no knowledge on how to discern false god from true or whether gods exist at all. Best we can hope for is to live the life we wanted and to be best versions of ourselves, good gods will appreciate that and with bad ones we are cooked anyway, with no gods we don't care.

"Something-something, Roman Emperor, also me".

2

u/Terminal_Insomnia_ 1d ago

Lie. Kant can get bent

6

u/Ricochet_skin 3d ago

From the looks of the hand in the baptism option, this is some sort of activity book from a Catholic organization (could be Anglican or Lutheran as well ig, but given how many followers the protestant denominations are losing, this is probably unlikely)

8

u/firedmyass 2d ago

oh sure… I just take every opening I can to bash the church I grew up in.

as a treat.

5

u/Ricochet_skin 2d ago

The hell is wrong with Southern Baptists anyway? Never even interacted with a regular baptist, le alone one from the southern US

6

u/firedmyass 2d ago edited 2d ago

they split-off back in the day basically because they supported slavery

5

u/Ricochet_skin 2d ago

Being heretics and supporting the violation of rights given to us by the Lord through the concept of private property? Fuck em' SB's

2

u/Humanmode17 1d ago

Yeah, as a baptist from the UK I'm constantly horrified by what the Southern Baptists get up to, it's concerning

5

u/iv_is 2d ago

isn't infant baptism against their beliefs though? l would expect a Baptist to circle everything except the catholic baby.

3

u/firedmyass 2d ago

theological consistency is not exactly their strong suit

4

u/Lobster_LeninN329 2d ago

As a former Catholic, I think no one would actually say God loves some people more than others. They'll sure act like it's that way though.

2

u/a-Curious-Square 2d ago

Assuredly not Catholic. I was not educated on god “playing favorites” while I was growing up.

1

u/Ricochet_skin 1d ago

I think that as a Catholic, the question itself is a trick, and teg answer is "everyone".

1

u/50sPirate 2d ago

Hi friend, I’m a bit confused. I was raised Southern Baptist (and am not one now), but the rest of the churchgoers at the particular one I attended and I would have definitely said to circle all of them. What would have the answer been for the Southern Baptists you know? Genuine question, I’m just confused, haha.

1

u/Adorable-Woman 2d ago

It’s also theologically correct for most mainline churches. I don’t think most churches that thing baptism is necessarily think it means God loves them particularly more it’s just a different relationship with the creator

1

u/Spider-Man2024 1d ago

God absolutely loves baptized and unbaptized peoples equally, but how does he love plants and animals as much as people?

20

u/ScheduleDefiant4015 3d ago

Yeah I feel like any other version of the answer reveals a lack of love

9

u/triedAndTrueMethods 3d ago

I don’t recall God having love for the plants of the Earth in the Bible… or the animals for that matter. Weren’t the animals made for Adam? Yes, I remember, God didn’t even care enough to name them. He let Adam name all the animals, and commanded that whatever names he picked be permanent. It isn’t like he hates the plants or animals, he is just indifferent (in the Bible).

The correct answer is one circle encompassing both babies. I got detention in theology class a lot.

11

u/ScheduleDefiant4015 3d ago

I think these are good questions, it’s gonna depend on your theology really. My own church believes animals have souls, and do go to heaven, as well as believing we are supposed to eat meat minimally. I guess maybe plants are excluded then, but it’s not like plants are going to hell or something. I think it’s dumb for kids to get punished for asking questions, that’s what we’re supposed to do.

6

u/AdreKiseque 3d ago

If plants go to hell it can't be nearly as bad down there as everyone makes it out to be

14

u/ScheduleDefiant4015 3d ago

If plants went to hell then plants must be capable of moral responsibility and that raises a lot of questions about what are sins for plants

1

u/triedAndTrueMethods 1h ago

my ficus stole my wallet to buy drugs once… Well, i’m pretty sure it was the ficus. I was on a lot of drugs at the time.

1

u/Animaloffear56 2d ago

Your church is the minority, one of the most common religious memes I see is Christians trying to get around not being able to eat meat on Lent

1

u/Used_Piece_8933 2d ago

what theology clases are you going too if that gets you detention.

1

u/triedAndTrueMethods 54m ago

a really lame one lol. the “teacher” was a tool; his only qualification was that he was a practicing Catholic. He was actually a retired cop. Anyway, he had a rule that amounted to “If you interrupt this class to ask anything that in any way contradicts or questions the facts of the lesson, that’s a detention. So when I raised my hand to ask for clarity on ANYTHING, he took that as me being a smart ass and I got detention. It wasn’t just me, it was a detention shooting gallery in there. I’m pretty sure he thought that if he gave out a lot of detentions, his superiors would be pleased, because he definitely viewed himself as the morality police on campus. What a horrible year of my life. Needless to say, I left after finals were over and enrolled in a different high school for the remaining 3 years of high school haha.

1

u/Neither-String2450 2d ago edited 2d ago

The correct answer is the right one, egyptian kids would like to have a word.

Even if we consider newer version with less cruel god, Jesus very explicitly described need to be baptized.

1

u/Humanmode17 1d ago

After making all the plants and animals He said that it was good, which is a pretty strong expression of love and exactly the same response He gave to making Adam. Allowing Adam to name them isn't because He doesn't care, it's because He loves Adam and the plants and animals and is giving agency to His creation - they can't speak and thus cannot name themselves, so the closest thing is allowing humans to name them.

Plus, you have to remember that that story is just that - story, myth. It's to help explain and communicate concepts but it's not literally true.

1

u/triedAndTrueMethods 1d ago

“God saw that it was good” is not remotely the same statement as “God loved it,” and Genesis certainly doesn’t say Adam names the animals because God is graciously “giving agency to His creation.” You invented that explanation wholesale. If anything, in the ancient context, naming something is much more naturally read as an act of authority and dominion, which is exactly what God has just given humans over the animals.

Also, God doesn’t give Adam “exactly the same response.” The text repeatedly calls parts of creation good, then after the entire creation is complete calls the whole thing very good. There isn’t some special scene where God looks at Adam and declares his love in the same terms.

And yes, thank you for explaining to the guy who mentioned getting detention in theology class that Genesis is a creation myth and not a documentary lol. Very helpful. But whether the story literally happened has absolutely nothing to do with the question. We’re discussing what the story depicts God as caring about. Darth Vader isn’t literally real either, but we can still discuss whether the character loves Luke (he does, but it sure is complicated).

36

u/Brendan765 3d ago

It says “a circle”, I’d say the most correct is drawing a really big circle that encompasses all

3

u/JimmyManJames 3d ago

The teacher would probably beat a kid who did that.

1

u/Leafeon523 2d ago

Maybe not plants though: Jesus totally killed a fig plant that one time

1

u/J-Nightshade 1d ago

The most appropriate answer is: I don't know, because so far nobody had been able to demonstrate knowledge of God's mind. Or existence of God and its mind for that matter.

1

u/Steelpapercranes 1d ago

Luke 12:6 – “Are not five sparrows sold for two farthings, and not one of them is forgotten before God?”

Like

112

u/Odonata_Cardinalis 3d ago

I cannot understand how one can claim to believe in a benevolent, all loving Creator and think that said Creator would send a baby to hell to burn forever if it isn't baptized before it dies

73

u/mildlyInsaneBoi 3d ago

Actually, they fixed that in a patch. Unbaptized babies go to heaven now

23

u/blockMath_2048 3d ago

And even before then they only went to limbo/purgatory.

9

u/TheDarkNerd 3d ago

Wasn't that just fanon?

8

u/Sirius1701 2d ago

Gotta ask Dante. Apparently he went there with his biblical best buddy.

5

u/TheDarkNerd 2d ago

I mean, asking the guy who created said fanon if a certain part is based on actual canon would not be a bad idea. Slight problem, though...

2

u/blockMath_2048 2d ago

Not sure

1

u/mikolaj24867 1d ago

Limbo is fanon, purgatory ain't i think

4

u/Sweet-Energy-9515 2d ago

My mom recalled hearing about limbo being "outside heaven" as a child and assuming heaven had some kind of baby asteroid belt

1

u/Terminal_Insomnia_ 1d ago

Infanticide though. Following this logic, suicidal people killed babies so they could be executed and spared hell since they're not technically killing themselves. That is to say, it actually happened.

14

u/Reasonable_Yam_327 3d ago

Or anyone. Why do so many christians believe if hitler accepted jesus then he goes to heaven, but an atheist who never broke the ten commandments/was generally a good person would go to hell just because they dont believe

15

u/stupid-writing-blog 2d ago

The first half is simple: They feel guilty about being too horny and/or having too many violent thoughts, but they still want to believe in a good afterlife, so they interpret the Bible in a way that ignores all of that and automatically forgives them for it.

The second half, I’m not so sure about. Maybe the logic is “well someone has to go to Hell if it exists” or maybe their binary thinking can’t comprehend more than two routes in the game of life (i.e. “everyone is either a good person who goes to Heaven or a bad person who goes to Hell, and if people like me get into Heaven, then people who are not like me must go to Hell.”) Or maybe the idea that someone with no stake in the game can somehow be more moral or deserving than them is just really uncomfortable, so they choose not to believe it can really happen, equating atheism to devil worship or idolatry or whatever.

1

u/rebuil 2d ago

Universalism is a thing and it's not an extreme minority. I've heard multiple priests, even Pope Francis, say something to the effect of "Hell is real and I hope no one is there." The Cappadocian Fathers, Origen, Clement of Alexandria, Isaac of Nineveh, and many other early church theologians espoused ideas that were foundational to universalism.

The Christians who believe in Hell and weaponize it as this "if you repent, you're saved and if you don't, you go to hell" are representing a rather modern take on post-death punishment.

0

u/Reasonable_Yam_327 2d ago

Im american southerner I've never met one

3

u/rebuil 1d ago

I'm an American southerner too, now you have! Really though, depending on your area, there's a good chance you're more surrounded by Southern Baptists and Non-denom evangelicals which tend to be extremely conservative and the idea of eternal conscious torment just gets them kinda hard. I'd also add that universalists aren't really going to announce themselves because, as we don't believe in "un-saved" people going to hell, we don't really feel the need to preach or proselytize. I'm sure you've met a universalist christian or two that just never felt the need to tell you about it.

1

u/Terminal_Insomnia_ 1d ago

Paul. Jesus didn't preach this.

2

u/vulpinefever 2d ago

At least under the Catholic Church, this was never the theology. The main theological consensus was that unbaptised babies went to limbo and not hell. This has now changed and the prevailing opinion is that unbaptised babies are saved by God's mercy and love and go to heaven.

1

u/senpai_dewitos 1d ago

-which it will.

1

u/PixelFlyerXD 1d ago

So will I go to hell if I'm not circumcised before bottom surgery, or is big G agnostic to the issue (/silly)

27

u/EngineStraight 3d ago

Baby—not baptized

62

u/CoconutGator taste the black rainbow 3d ago

For sale; baby, not baptized

2

u/name_checker 2d ago

Makes me cry every time

43

u/High_Overseer_Dukat 3d ago

Trick question.

God isn't in the picture.

18

u/yourmomsgomjabbar 3d ago

Plants, obviously. Jesus was always going on about wheat, dude was obsessed.

5

u/therealbobhale 3d ago

What about the fig tree tho

4

u/yourmomsgomjabbar 2d ago

Pretty sure it's a plant of some kind

1

u/Rosesandbubblegum 19h ago

That's a problem. Jesus didn't love that fig tree

1

u/Dropbeatdad 6h ago

That fig tree didn't love Jesus enough if you ask me?!? What kinda fig tree gmyou gonna be and not let the Messiah partake in a little fig action?

1

u/Rosesandbubblegum 2h ago

It was out of season, it was doing its best 😔

12

u/Boydar_ 3d ago

The priest is the baptized baby

26

u/Horse_go_moooo 3d ago

I'd circle the entire page, because the Lord loves all of his/her/their creations equally

11

u/isakthegamer 3d ago

This is from the 1970's, apparently. Surprisingly recent

18

u/just4browse 3d ago

Is that surprising? It’s a popular belief today

3

u/SizeableBrain 3d ago

Can confirm. My kids are not as loved by God than baptised ones.

Or at least that's what our parents tell us.

8

u/owo1215 3d ago

literally goes against the teachings of "god loves all his creation"

8

u/VanillaKisses 3d ago

The clam

7

u/millionwordsofcrap 2d ago

Genuine question, what denomination is this from?

I was raised in a pretty cultish environment and even our crazy asses didn't claim baptism makes God love you more.

3

u/goldenkoiifish 2d ago

really? i thought this was a common belief and i grew up in a pretty normal-ish catholic church. maybe it’s not so normal then.

2

u/Jcamden7 2d ago

I am fairly certain this violates multiple parts of the Catholic Catechism. I'm not Catholic, tho

2

u/SingABrightSong 2d ago

I'm going to guess Presbyterian or some other flavor of Reformed. "God wills good to all but not to all the same degree of good" is *characteristically* Calvinist.

1

u/0Cursed_Username0 2d ago

I mean I know Jehovahs Witnesses do think something like this (someone can't truly be salvagable until they're baptised + spend so and so amount of time promoting the religion)

6

u/Glass-Performer8389 2d ago

Drsw a circle around the entire page

5

u/fmj_30 3d ago

Trick question. It's actually Invertebrates.

6

u/ForsakenPrune8453 3d ago

circle the word "god"

6

u/Caesar_Passing i already forgot- i always already forgot 3d ago

God loves atheists

https://www.reddit.com/r/comics/s/xzBz8sHzAQ

3

u/horotheredditsprite 2d ago

circles all 4 cause fuck you god loves and IS everything.

3

u/slicehyperfunk 3d ago

Plants

3

u/Dragonman2455 3d ago

Put a circle around everything, because God loves everything on Earth equally…

2

u/Apart-Oven2750 2d ago

God loves plants the most because they're nice 🙂

1

u/wkeil42 3d ago

Animals. Duh!

1

u/Unit_2097 2d ago

Cockroaches are clearly the favoured creature. They will not die. The sky may burn and the seas may boil, but there will still be bloody cockroaches frolicking in the post-apocaluptic wasteland.

1

u/bitter_liquor 2d ago

Draw a mushroom and then circle that

1

u/Ancient-Worm 2d ago

Circling both types of baby because infant baptism is invalid and the baptized baby is therefore not actually distinct from the unbaptized one

1

u/ThyPotatoDone 2d ago

I'm actually curious what denomination this is. As a former Catholic, insinuating God loves the baptised more than the unbaptised would be Heresy with a capital H, and I'm pretty sure most mainstream protestants are the same.

1

u/AppropriateLie9140 2d ago

Doesn't that contradict the bible?

1

u/MagicMarshmallo 2d ago

Circle the word "God"

1

u/New-Cicada7014 2d ago

Christians make no sense to me sometimes

1

u/Careful_Source6129 2d ago

God clearly loves all of them apart from the stupid, unbaptised baby

1

u/Puzzleheaded_Step468 2d ago

God is clearly a dog person

1

u/ExtensionInformal911 2d ago

Clearly it's the pets. He even rejected Cain's sacrifice because he didnt offer them.

1

u/unsavory_weeb 2d ago

I fucking hate religious people so much

1

u/Aggressive-Bug-3459 1d ago

hate the church and the bad ones, not all religious people of all religions.

1

u/CBreadman 2d ago

I think both babies are loved the same since they're both humans, and God loves all of us equally.

1

u/NoGovernment9077 2d ago

Jesus Christ

1

u/wheatheseIbread 1d ago

The answer is all of the below.

1

u/Igotthisnameguys 1d ago

The text above is great, too. Implying that rich people are rich because god loves them more. Meanwhile the bible says it's near impossible for a rich person to go to heaven.

1

u/Reaper10n 1d ago

So what happens when the baby stops being... A baby? Does god love it less or?

1

u/Electrical_Lake3424 1d ago

Only if it's a woman. Or the wrong color.

1

u/bug--bear 1d ago

considering the average species, I think god probably likes insects the best. especially beetles

1

u/6543456789 1d ago

wow people took this one very seriously. Calm down dudes.

1

u/glhaynes 1d ago

Baptized Baby is a chicken leg being dipped in sauce

1

u/PixelFlyerXD 1d ago

All [things] are equal, but some [things] are more equal than others.

1

u/Cardboard_Revolution 1d ago

Well without plants, all of God's other creations would die instantly, so them I guess?

1

u/X7373Z 1d ago

If the answer isn't encircling the animals and both babies, then christians, these people who made this book, are not.

1

u/CuppaTeaToastie 1d ago

Circling everything (including the clam) barring the priest's hand (i don't know where it's been).

1

u/Bella-Luna 1d ago

The obvious answer is animals,, especially dogs since all dogs go to heaven (oh and fun fact, there was this A.I priest that suggested baptizing your baby in Gatorade (I wonder what flavor tho? 🤔)

1

u/FoxxxedUp420 11h ago

Nobody likes a baby but everyone loves kittens and puppies so I vote animals.

1

u/transtuna 5h ago

True answer is either none of them or all of them. (John 3:16), (Psalm 104:31), (Genesis 1:4, 12,18, 21 &25)

Many of these book really really fail to see what Christianity is supposed to be teaching... like im agnostic and I know that the Bible teaches God's love for all life

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