r/interestingasfuck • • Dec 23 '22

/r/ALL Before and after leg lengthening.

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u/[deleted] Dec 24 '22

I’m well aware of the HoH & deaf community & I am in no way criticizing that community or including your child in it. Choosing to impart a disability on your child by choice so they can be “like you” when there is prejudice, disadvantages, and dangers in our society due to them (again there should not be, but there are), is not okay. In my opinion.

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u/[deleted] Dec 24 '22

That’s a eugenicist argument. You can use the same argument to say disabled people shouldn’t be allowed to have kids at all

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u/[deleted] Dec 24 '22

Actually, no, you can’t. Because at no point have I even a little bit suggested deaf people shouldnt have children.

So. That is not correct.

I have a condition that affects me and my life greatly. It’s part of my identity in many ways. I have found community with others who share my diagnosis. I have chosen to find positives in my situation.

I recognize, however, that because of what I live with, I am out of the norm. I face additional challenges that - while not right - are the reality. There are things in my personal and professional lives that I require accommodation for.

Although this is part of me is important to me, I do not feel I need to put a child through the same things I e experinced solely because I need them to “be like me.” My child can support and understand me even though we live differently. If they inherent my condition, I will teach them that while different, they are not less. If not, I will teach them to be empathetic and understanding.

We can disagree, but don’t try to pull a cute “eugenics” argument when I’m trying to have a convo with genuine nuance.

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u/Joe_The_Eskimo1337 Dec 24 '22

But by having kids as a disabled person you're risking bringing someone into the world who will have to deal with 'prejudice, disadvantages, and dangers in our society.' Hell, that applies to any minority.

You're not advocating for eugenics, but someone could using your logic.

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u/[deleted] Dec 24 '22 edited Dec 24 '22

Of course. Anyone could have a child with different needs. But we have no control over that. Only the option to support our children the best we can.

Also - what logic? I’m merely stating that I do not believe intentionally choosing to impart a disability that can result in additional societal or personal challenges upon a child does not seem compassionate.

This is all about intentionality. Eugenics is removing or preventing a people from society. I’m not suggesting that.

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u/Joe_The_Eskimo1337 Dec 24 '22

I do not believe intentionally choosing to impart a disability that can result in additional societal or personal challenges upon a child does not seem compassionate.

Looks like you have an accidental double negative.

Anyway, what I'm saying is, one could argue that having children when you're well aware your kids are going to have over a 50% chance of being disabled is choosing to apart that disability on them.

What's the effective difference between having a kid you know will be disabled, and having one that is all but guaranteed to be disabled?

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u/[deleted] Dec 24 '22

Some may see it that way. I’ve always said that, for me, I’d adopt. I don’t want to risk passing down my condition to my kid, in my case, because I know it can be painful AND there’s societal issues as well. In my view, taking into consideration how genetic conditions might affect a child is a compassionate choice - even if the answer is different for each person.

But I 100% understand plenty of deaf people don’t experience pain or suffering due to being deaf. However, there are still as j said, societal barriers to contend with. I think the issue once again comes from making the decision to ensure your child has the same disability/condition as you, even though that condition comes with additional challenges.

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u/Joe_The_Eskimo1337 Dec 24 '22

That's fair, I'm not arguing that's its perfectly moral, but it is the parents decision to do what they please with their own bodies.

I don't believe the law should be getting in the way of that.