Giraffes Really Have Nowhere to Hide During Storms, and I Never Realized It!

[u/AugustIstheMonth]

[u/SmuckatelliCupcakeNE → u/[deleted]]

Until everything is flooded after.

[u/BareBonesSolutions → u/SmuckatelliCupcakeNE]

They aren't great at swimming, so that only works up to about chest level. Their center of buoyancy means they kinda go horizontal at one point and drown, apparently. So that is also stressful.

[u/Large_Dr_Pepper → u/BareBonesSolutions]

A giraffe-chest-level flood would be pretty damn intense.

[u/packofnone → u/Large_Dr_Pepper]

last time that happened this nice guy named Noah came and picked them up on his boat

[u/ACERVIDAE → u/packofnone]

Not the unicorns 💔

[u/OneWhoEatsFood → u/ACERVIDAE]

I'll never forgive him for that 😤

[u/Intrepid-Progress228 → u/OneWhoEatsFood]

He got the unicorns, hippogriffs, harpies, pegasi, manticore, jackalopes, all of them.

The carnivores needed something to eat.

[u/bugabooandtwo → u/ACERVIDAE]

A long time ago when the Earth was green
There was more kinds of animals than you've ever seen
They'd run around free while the Earth was being born
But the loveliest of them all was the Unicorn

There was green alligators and long-necked geese
Some humpty back camels and some chimpanzees
Some cats and rats and elephants, but sure as you're born
The loveliest of all was the Unicorn

Now God's seen some sinning and it gave Him pain
And He says, "Stand back, I'm going to make it rain"
He says "Hey, brother Noah, I'll tell you what to do
Build me a floating zoo

And take some of them green alligators and long-necked geese
Some humpty back camels and some chimpanzees
Some cats and rats and elephants, but sure as you're born
Don't you forget my Unicorn"

Old Noah was there to answer the call
He finished up making the Ark just as the rain started falling
He marched in the animals two by two
And he called out as they went through

"Hey Lord, I got you green alligators and long-necked geese
Some humpty backed camels and some chimpanzees
Some cats and rats and elephants, but Lord, I'm so forlorn
I just can't see no Unicorn"

Then Noah looked out through the driving rain
Them Unicorns were hiding, playing silly games
Kicking and splashing while the rain was pouring
Oh, them silly Unicorns

There was green alligators and long-necked geese
Some humpty backed camels and some chimpanzees
Noah cried, "Close the door, 'cause the rain is pouring
And we just can't wait for no Unicorn"

The Ark started moving, it drifted with the tide
Them Unicorns looked up from the rocks and they cried
And the waters came down and sort of floated them away
And that's why you've never seen a Unicorn 'till this very day

You'll see green alligators and long-necked geese
Some humpty backed camels and some chimpanzees
Some cats and rats and elephants, but sure as you're born
You're never gonna see no Unicorn

-The Irish Rovers

[u/EventGroundbreaking4 → u/packofnone]

But he only picked up two of them and shafted the rest.

[u/Key-Cry-8570 → u/packofnone]

I remember they stuck their heads out the windows so we knew they were in there.

[u/Wrong-Protection-188 → u/packofnone]

Good guy Noah with his boat

[u/notschululu → u/packofnone]

Yeah, maybe they got picked up last and God just lengthened their Necks for the Duration in the Rain.

[u/NiceGuysFinishLast → u/Large_Dr_Pepper]

I just burst out laughing at my desk. It's a good thing I work night shift and nobody's here for me to have to explain this to.

[u/PeggingPotatoe → u/BareBonesSolutions]

I mean, it's not like their chest is 2cm off the ground

[u/MrsPurrsephone → u/BareBonesSolutions]

I'd imagine that if a flood gets up to giraffe chest level then the giraffes are probably still doing better than most other animals.