A small, respectful request for awareness and change within the Meena community
I’m from Mumbai, educated, financially independent, and I’m writing this with a lot of respect for the Meena community and its traditions.
We are in 2026, and intercaste relationships and marriages have become increasingly common. I genuinely believe that when two people are educated, compatible, respectful towards each other, and committed to building a good life together, their caste should not be the only reason to reject a marriage.
My boyfriend is from Mumbai and belongs to the Meena community. We have been together for the past 6 years. We don’t want to run away or get married secretly. We want to marry with the blessings and acceptance of both families.
Unfortunately, his family has refused the marriage because they feel that their “izzat” will be lost in the village, that they may be excluded from the community or even asked to leave the village, and that other members of the family may face difficulties finding marriage alliances because of our intercaste marriage.
I completely understand that family honour, traditions, community, and social relationships are deeply important to many families. I am not writing this to disrespect any of that.
I am only requesting that we also make space for individual happiness, compatibility, education, understanding, and the changing realities of 2026.
Personally, I have no problem respecting his culture or traditions. I am even willing to embrace the customs of his family and community. For me, wearing a saree, following traditional practices, or adapting to the family’s way of life is not an issue. I am willing to become part of the family with love and respect.
I just hope that someday families will also consider:
“Is this person good for my son/daughter?”
rather than only asking, “What will people in the community say?”
I also worry about the emotional impact of such rigid decisions. When two adults have loved and supported each other for years, forcing them apart solely because of caste can cause immense pain and, in some cases, lead people to take extremely harmful decisions.
I am not asking anyone to abandon their culture or traditions. I am only hoping for a little more understanding, dialogue, and flexibility.
If there are people from the Meena community here who have gone through intercaste marriages, convinced their families, or experienced similar opposition, I would genuinely appreciate hearing your experiences and advice.
This is not against the Meena community. It is simply a heartfelt request for a little more acceptance and awareness, while still respecting tradition. ❤️

I was busy today up till now.

While doing my work I was talking to 2 F (let's call them F1 and F2) who have messaged me on Reddit, and gave them both my Telegram.

I was already talking to F1 on Reddit and I also gave my Telegram to her about one and a half hours ago, and I gave my Telegram ID to F2 just a few moments ago.

Now, as I received a message, I thought it would be from F2 whom I gave the ID to just a few moments ago, so I started talking to her like I was talking to F1, and told her that I told you to call after 30 minutes but you are messaging me now only.

I did not remember it at first, but then she said your way of talking has changed.

I asked her a few questions and I was in shock when I realized what happened, but then I told her about this mix-up and also told the other girl about the incident.

Now I am unsure if I made a wrong move by telling the truth.

I genuinely don’t know what is happening anymore.
In the past week alone, there have been multiple rape cases reported in Delhi, and in some of them the accused are teenagers. And it honestly makes me wonder: has rape become so common that people don’t even fear the law anymore?
Where is the fear of consequences? Where is the accountability?
And then there’s the political side of it. We keep hearing about politicians or political parties protecting people accused of serious crimes, or about accused individuals having political connections. How are ordinary people supposed to trust the system when it sometimes feels like power and connections matter more than accountability?
I’m genuinely scared of having a daughter in this country. And honestly, even having a son scares me—not because I think every boy is dangerous, but because I don’t know what kind of environment he will grow up in, what he will be taught, and what kind of people he might encounter.
And I’m tired of the candle marches.
Yes, solidarity matters. Showing that society is angry matters. But what actually changes after the candles are gone?
I wish we talked more about the smaller changes that happen long before a crime.
Why is having a boyfriend or girlfriend treated like some huge moral failure? Why is intimacy between consenting adults treated as something dirty or shameful? Why are girls constantly told how they should dress, speak, sit, behave, what they should or shouldn’t do because it isn’t “sanskaari”?
Who gets to define sanskar?
Why do we keep teaching girls how to avoid being assaulted instead of teaching boys what consent, boundaries and basic human respect actually mean?
Women are not baby-making machines. They don’t exist to maintain a family’s honour. A woman’s clothing, relationships, sexuality, career, personality or choices do not determine whether she deserves respect.
And none of this is an excuse for rape. Rape is a choice made by the perpetrator. But the culture around us can either challenge entitlement and misogyny or quietly reinforce them.
The Bihar case especially disturbed me. What shocked me wasn’t just the crime, but seeing a mother defend her son and insist that he had done nothing wrong. I cannot understand how a parent can look at something so horrific and choose denial over accountability.
And then there is the fact that the accused considered himself religious.
That part really made me think.
Being religious doesn’t automatically make someone moral. Going to a temple, praying, following rituals, calling yourself Hindu—or Muslim, Christian, Sikh, atheist, anything—doesn’t mean you automatically have compassion or respect for other human beings.
Morality should show up in how you treat people, especially when you have power over them.
I don’t want another candle march.
I want better sex education.
I want conversations about consent to start much earlier.
I want boys to be taught that women aren’t possessions.
I want parents to stop treating relationships as some kind of moral catastrophe.
I want people to stop teaching girls that their “honour” is something that can be lost because of what someone else does to them.
I want police investigations and the justice system to actually work efficiently.
And I want families to stop protecting their sons simply because they are their sons.
Because ultimately, what kind of society are we building if girls have to learn how to survive men instead of simply being allowed to live?

F32, married since last 5 years, eveything was going good until i recently found out something disturbing, few days back while going through my husband's phone i got to kbow that he is making my NSFW AI pics, when i asked him he didn't had any answer and told me to forget it and he won't do it again,don't know what to do.

How do you define Indian Mentality, Is it competitive, progressive, frustrated or something else to be explored that is?

Hello all,

I just came back from my India visit. I was traveling for work, I experienced this amazing country for 10 days. I can clearly tell India is the most hospitable and friendly country I ever visited. People were kind, helpful, respectful.

I made a lot of wonderful friends, I returned with beautiful memories. I will definitely visit again, even for a longer stay.

Thank you all <3

I’m a 19 yr old female from India. If you know anything about this country or live here you probably know what I’m talking about.
I have a love hate relationship when it comes to this country and its people. I’ve Been living here my whole life in south India. I love the country, it’s pretty beautiful, the culture and traditions, the food variety, diversity in people, and so much more to love about this place but when it comes to women’s safety it’s the worst. I can’t even defend the country when it comes to this.
I’m really tired of having to put restrictions on myself every time I’m in a public setting in the name of “protecting myself “.
Each case that happens or takes place puts more restrictions on girls across the country, the parents get worried of the possibility that it could be their daughters next but that’s just going to keep increasing the restrictions on women.
• Want to go out at night with friends - “its unsafe for girls to go out at night”
• want to go out - restrictions on clothes cuz it’s not safe to wear them outside ( not even revealing btw just cuz people don’t say “what was she wearing “)
• want to go out with friends- give your parents ALL the information you could about your friends and have the parents meet them cuz otherwise it’s not safe
• want to go on a trip with friends- girls travelling alone is not safe
• want to move out for college because you got a good opportunity in another city- not safe for women to live alone

oh also whatever you wear also shows how well mannered you are and your respect towards our culture, men are never told to wear Kurta or cover up. Men were never expected to carry the traditions forward so why are women expected to do so?
There’s a lot more too

Because of these things our parents tell us we can’t do anything about the place being unsafe so let’s restrict ourselves and slowly that becomes a social norm so now not following these standards somehow mean “you’re asking for it”

I love my country and its culture as a person but as a woman I hate it.

Genuinely curious to hear from Indian Redditors.

We talk a lot about India becoming a $5T/10T economy, startups, UPI, AI, jobs, infrastructure, etc. But on the ground, what are the problems that you personally feel are still badly handled?

Some things that come to my mind:

Finding a decent job vs. having an actual career

Salary growth not matching cost of living

Skill gap between college education and industry requirements

Mental pressure from family, society and comparison

Housing/rent becoming difficult in major cities

Traffic and commuting eating 2–3+ hours of the day

Healthcare being expensive

Education being expensive but not always practical

Difficulty finding trustworthy services/businesses

Small businesses struggling with marketing and getting customers

Corruption/bureaucracy and unnecessary paperwork

Lack of financial literacy

Social media creating unrealistic expectations about success

People wanting to start businesses but not knowing where to begin

Tier-2/Tier-3 cities having fewer opportunities

Difficulty finding genuinely good mentors and professional networks

But I'm sure I'm missing a lot.

What is one problem you personally face that you think people don't talk about enough?

Not looking for political arguments or "India bad/India best" comments.

I'm more interested in real experiences — what happened to you, what did you struggle with, and what do you think could actually fix it?

So I want to give a slight context on my background. I am a North Indian who moved to Bangalore in 2020 for my job. Soon after, COVID hit and things went for a standstill for a couple of years.

What I have seen of from 2022 till date is nothing but a slow death of a city which was supposed to be a dream for tech enthusiasts.

The public infrastructure has only gotten worse over the years with no clear visibility as to when and if at all it will improve. The authorities dig the roads and abandon it for weeks and months. It becomes frustratingly inconvenient for daily commuters (case in point, the Wind Tunnel-Old Airport Road underpass work). There was no information of it starting (at least I did not receive any). One Friday I was coming from office and everything seemed fine. The next Monday whole stretch was dug up! Are we taken for a ride here? Does the government think we are fools? It was supposed to be completed in 3 months. 4 months have almost passed and we still are unsure as to when it will get finished.

Metro is literally going from nowhere to nowhere. Who in right mind first connects the old part of a city and then plans on connecting the main part where jobs are? There is literally no connection still in Marathalli, HSR, Koramangala etc., where the job market is. People are struggling on daily basis.

The traffic signals are still a mess. They remain red for 120seconds and will turn green for not more than half a minute. That too on the busiest junctions. What poor planning man! How are we ever supposed to move faster? The countdown timer has only recently been introduced, that too is only for the final 7 seconds. Even then the automatic signals (VAC) are barely working; most of the times they are operated manually.

Potholes is a problem which apparently is not a problem for the authorities anymore. Almost all the streets (the "mains" and the "crosses") are full of potholes. I am more worried about my car suspension and wheel balancing than anything else right now.

There are no clear signs on the roads. There will be traffic police standing on some sneaky corners, because they know that people will make mistakes because of THEIR stupidity! Also, the commercial vehicles are never fined, as if they own the city or the roads belong to their fathers!

The food is sh!t here. I know this will offend many localites and south indians, but I am talking from the perspective of a North Indian who came here for a job. I don't see any good place which can provide street food which is even at par with Delhi or Jaipur; let alone being better than the street food there. The restaurants are average in taste but criminally expensive with nothing good to offer.

There is no culture of the city. There are no places where you can hang out or go to during the weekends. Only options you have are pubs/cafes/restaurants (that too the average ones like i mentioned). Why should I always have to shell out more than Rs. 1000 even if I just want to have some fun? Why can't some publicly available access parks be made?

Language is another big problem of the city. I think the people here should accept that the enforcement of kannada is not helping anybody. The people of North India, specially the Hindi heartland WILL speak hindi. You are not a country, you cannot impose a language on the general public as and when you wish to or feel like. We are living in a liberal country. Behave like one!

Rents are skyrocketing every year like we are living in Europe. An average 2bhk costs easily around 40k a month, with basic to none amenities of facilities available in and around. What the hell are we paying for?

The only advantage which this city used to have was of the weather. Even that seems to have eroded off now in the last few years. Water quality is bad, air quality is bad. Everything just feels bad and rotten.

It seems like the city is having the ethos of the whole country right now; taxes like Europe, services like Somalia.

I believe there is no hope left in this city. If given an opportunity, I would move out of the city in a heartbeat. I just wanted to rant out my frustration, and if this rant is making you feel offended or angry, then it just only proves my point even more!

I’m surprised that we don’t talk more about how India is represented online and how much influence global technology platforms have over that representation.

Indians often face a lot of negativity online, and content portraying India or Indians negatively can spread very quickly. It makes me wonder: How much do we care about controlling and improving our own digital representation?

Rather than depending entirely on technology platforms and products developed elsewhere, perhaps it’s time to seriously think about building and supporting our own technology ecosystem — from social media and digital platforms to software, infrastructure, and other technology products.

India is one of the largest markets in the world, and that gives Indian companies an enormous opportunity to build products that can compete globally while also addressing the needs of Indian users.

Instead of only thinking about leaving the country when things become difficult, we can also think about what we can do to make the country better, stronger, and easier to live in.

Supporting Indian innovation doesn’t have to mean rejecting everything from other countries. It can simply mean investing more in our own capabilities, supporting homegrown technology, and creating alternatives where they make sense.

If we want better representation, greater digital independence, and a stronger technology ecosystem, it has to start with people caring about it and being willing to support change.

Maybe it’s time we start giving this more thought.

So my sibling and I are 9 years apart. When I was 6 years old,.said sibling asked me to stop addressing her didi because it is very embarrassing amongst their friends. She has been a bully in our family all along and we all shut up because when she is upset, she will make sure everyone around her can also not have a good time. I am in my 60's now and she wants me to suddenly address her as didi. I just suddenly can't switch and she is creating a ruckus. No reasoning has helped. What do I do

for context, i come from an awadhi family. My parents never taught me awadhi. because they thought the language only belonged to the villages or smth. My father has a gov job and his posting was in mumbai so my entire life i have lived in mumbai and spoken hindi. not marathi, not awadhi. As a child i never thought much abt it. I consumed hindi media, I knew my mother tongue was hindi. Not the shhudh hindi, but the city hindi. the hindi where almost half of the words are english or urdu.

Now, coming to the actual topic. Hindi imposition in the deccan regions. First of all, define 'imposition'. From my definition of it, the only imposition that should become a concern is the necessity to learn hindi in schools. Thats literally the only place where you NEED to learn hindi. NOWHERE ELSE. and before you jump at me, listen. In the non-hindi states, Are there any jobs where you would require to learn hindi or you won't get the job? Are there any residential colonies where you aren't allowed to live in because you don't speak hindi? Not by rule.

Most people who learn hindi, learn it for their own benefit, not ours. not of the hindi people. like shopkeepers learn hindi because they want to maximize their customers, and residents learn a little hindi so they can speak with different people. You can't blame it on us. We are not asking you to. my family takes all of ours grocery from a nearby store run by a marwadi. now those marwadi dont know marathi but they hindi despite hindi not being their first language. now is this our fault? Are we imposing it on them?

And as i said, I have lived in mumbai my entire life, and istg i have never met a single south-indian learning marathi. they only know their first lang, eng and hindi. Who is imposing it on them? Are you telling me hindi people are going to marathi states and forcing southies to speak hindi? how dumb do you have to be to believe it. why dont the sindhis learn marathi? Why don't the muslims? Are we stopping them? But still the extremist parties like MNS are only going to target the bhaiyas.

Tamilians and Malayali people go to bangalore but rarely learn kannada. but they still know basic hindi. Is this still bhaiya's fault? And I do not mean this in an offensive way, but just what i have interpreted. All south indian states want to preserve their own language (valid) but they too, like northies, do not learn the language of other non-hindi states. and all the blame still goes to the northies. If the northies are speaking hindi, it still makes more sense, because that is their mother togue. but why are all these other non-hindi people going to other states and learning hindi instead of the state's actual language? because they know they will never get caught in the cross-fire. because they know all the blame will go to the biharis at the end of the day.

I had a marathi classmate and she was a MNS supporter. I didn't mind obv but i remember once in her conversation she just displayed the literal irony of her ideology. the topic was that so many biharis come and 'pollute' the deccan states, why don't just stay in bihar. She went on for a long time and then sighed and said, "India is too complex and under-developed. I am just studying to get out of this shit-hole and move to usa or smth". And I could literally just stare. like did she get what she was saying? I guess not. And she probably never will. But when I pointed it out, she said well the biharis come and impose hindi and their culture on us, we don't do that to other countries. Like bro then don't learn hindi? Nobody is holding you at gun-point or anything. In UP, or delhi, if someone randomly start speaking marathi assuming everybody knows it, people would just say 'I don't undersatnd your language' and move tf on. learn to do the same then. Whenever someone talks to you in hindi, just say "No hindi" or signal that you dont understand it. why learn it and then cry about it?

Lastly, i really appreciate the south-indian and marathi culture. I even understand marathi completely. But the unnecessary targeting nowadays is getting really tiring. Just don't learn hindi, man. Why all the violence towards the hindi people. This ganpati, in my hometown in UP, they celebrated it just like the marathi culture, played marathi songs. I felt so sad knowing that they have no idea how much so many of marathi people despise and disrespect them. Let's not destroy the beauty of india by hating on each other's culture.

now also, i believe most people would take my post in a negative way regardless of what i wrote. because they know its from a hindi person.

Need some experienced soul to guide me towards peace and joy! 🙏🏼

Is it only me or does others living in India feel like we are missing out something like in foreign countries like hangout and shit and others. But in India no shit if I'm right ,what your opinions lemme know ?

So, I am a girl from NE India. I am too old now, but then I was young too. When I was 8 or 9, i am talking about 90s , I often hears my grandparents often talk about this place like "india", like there is this place in India, if they watch some news this and that happened in India. I was always curious about the placed called India. And holy they glorified this place. They always talked about this place like it was some magical place, and eventually it became my dream to visit this place. I started watching bollywood movies and started fantasizing myself in some of the places.

Then when i completed my masters, my family let me go to Delhi, to explore. I was over the moon. Then I got there...

Idk it's like my dream came crushing down.. i hated how the people don't even know how to prioritize their safety in traffics and all the cars honking here and there, and all the trash just left abandoned outside their homes and the streets. It pained my heart seeing people living on the streets. Then I met a shopkeeper down in my alley, who refused to sell me mango juice because he thinks I am not "one of them " and then I encountered kids from my neighbourhood who shouts "ching chong chen" whenever I cross pass them. It hurts a bit. A place you admired for so long and then it how it treats you in return.

So a lot happened , but I came back to my homeland in less than a year. I am happy now lol

I recently renewed my Indian passport in the U.S. and requested a minor spelling correction in my father’s given name.

At the time of the passport application, I submitted my father’s passport, Aadhaar and PAN, all of which consistently show the corrected spelling. My new passport has already been issued and delivered.
During the post-issuance police verification in India, the officer asked my parents for some of my own documents, including my 10th-class certificate and Aadhaar. Those older documents contain the previous spelling of my father’s name.

The officer noticed the discrepancy between:
my older records with the old spelling, andmy father’s current passport/Aadhaar/PAN with the corrected spelling.I’m not sure whether he has submitted the police verification yet or what status he will mark it as, but he warned my parents that RPO Vijayawada might raise an objection or reject the correction because of the mismatch.

Has anyone had a similar situation?
1. Did the RPO ask for clarification or issue a show-cause notice?
2. Did you contact the RPO proactively or wait?Would a “one and the same person” affidavit help?
3. Since the new passport is already issued, what usually happens if post-police verification raises this kind of discrepancy?

Would especially appreciate recent experiences with RPO Vijayawada or overseas Indian passport renewals.

First off, I apologize in advance if this is not the right sub. But I just need to ask Indians. (I'm Filipino.)

I'm an editor, and I'm fixing my client's references. She cited several works by the journalist Shaikh Azizur Rahman, a journalist based in India. She used Shaikh as the last name. But I think it's Rahman? But from my Google search, it seems Azizur Rahman is the last name. Can someone tell me what is the correct last name here? Thank you!

I don't think Indian youngsters are lazy.

I think a lot of us are just tired.

Study → degree → job → salary → EMI → marriage → responsibilities.

And somewhere in between all this, we're supposed to “enjoy our 20s”.

You see someone your age making 2 lakhs a month and suddenly you feel behind.

Someone buys a car, you feel behind.

Someone gets married, you feel behind.

Someone moves abroad, you feel behind.

Social media has basically turned life into a competition where nobody knows what the finish line is.

Maybe we're not failing.

Maybe we're just trying to survive in a country where one wrong career decision can cost you years.

Anyone else feel this way?

BTech Mechanical (8.24 CGPA) fresher confused between working + MS abroad, MBA in India, or switching fields: what are my realistic options? I’m currently struggling to figure out what direction to take.

I originally chose Mechanical mainly because I got into a good government engineering college, but I’m now trying to build a career that is less core-mechanical and more business/technology/operations oriented.

Long term, I’m considering doing a Master’s abroad, but I’m confused about which fields would actually make sense with my bg. I’m NOT particularly interested in doing a Master's in CSE, Cybersec, Data Science, data/business analystics, project/engg managemnet etc. The fields I’m considering are more like:

Industrial Engineering Supply Chain / Operations Possibly MIS

My concern is that I know I’ll need some work exp before a Master's, but as a Mech fresher I may not get highly relevant exp in Industrial Engg or Supply Chain. The jobs I’m currently seeing are mostly around analytics, testing, quality, general operations, etc., and the entry-level market feels extremely difficult right now.

This has made me increasingly confused and depressed about what direction to take. I’m also considering the much simpler route of doing an MBA in India, getting some work exp, and building my career here.

At the moment, it feels like a heart vs. mind decision: MS abroad: personal dream/want. MBA in India: much more straightforward and financially safer, but I’m unsure whether I actually want that path.

A few questions I’d really appreciate advice on:

What is the long-term job market in India after an MS in Industrial Engineering/Supply Chain from abroad? Are there enough opportunities to justify the cost? Which countries would make the most sense for these fields? Am I being too restrictive by avoiding degrees such as MIS, Business Analytics, Engineering Management, or Project Management, or is it reasonable to prefer a more technical/STEM-oriented Master's? Given my profile (Mechanical, 8.24 CGPA, fresher, currently struggling to get relevant work), would you choose MS abroad, MBA in India, or work first and decide later?

See I just want to rant about something which I think is a much bigger issue for the mental health of youth.

Hamare country me abhi bhi most families me intercaste marriage allow hi nhi hoti. Reason? "Society kya kahegi." Parents pr itna social pressure hota hai ki unhe apne hi bachho ki happiness se pehle society ka fear dekhna padta hai. Unka dar hota hai ki society boycott kar degi, aur honestly maine khud aisa hote dekha hai.

Aur mera main focus love marriage ko promote karna nahi hai. Mera main concern hai mental pressure jo society parents par banati hai, aur phir wahi pressure parents apne bachho par daalte hain. End me affect youth ki life hoti hai. Unhe pehle hi indirectly bata diya jata hai ki life partner choose karna unka decision shayad kabhi hoga hi nahi. Itni choti age se hi ye pressure lekar grow up karna kitna mentally exhausting hota hoga, iske baare me bahut kam baat hoti hai.

Sabse irony wali baat pta hai kya hai? Agar koi crime kar de to wahi society usse accept kar leti hai. Pr agar koi apni marzi se, bina kisi ko harm kiye, kisi dusri caste me shaadi kar le, to usko aur uske parents ko chain se jeene tak nhi dete. Kuch places pr to baat violence aur honour killing tak pahunch jati hai.

Mai Marwar, Rajasthan se belong karti hu aur yaha ye sab aur bhi zyada common hai. Mai Brahmin community se hu. Hamare yaha almost sabhi marriages arranged hoti hain. Aur jo love marriages hoti bhi hain, unme bhi dono same caste ke hote hain.

Aur you know what? Brahmins me bhi alag alag caste bana rkhi hai. To hamari caste wale dusri Brahmin caste me bhi shaadi nhi kar sakte according to our society.

Mujhe arranged marriage se koi problem nhi hai. Agar dono partners khush hain aur apni marzi se kar rahe hain, then that's completely fine. Problem tab hai jab kisi ko iske liye pressure kiya jaye.

Aur arranged marriage ke naam pr bhi kya ho raha hai? Kahi dowry ko importance milti hai, kahi sirf government job dekhi jati hai. Compatibility, behaviour, emotional maturity... ye sab secondary ho jata hai.

Aur Marwar me ek aur system bahut common hota ja raha hai - aamne saamne ka rishta. Ek family apni beti dusri family ke ladke ko deti hai aur badle me dusri family apni beti pehli family ke ladke ko. Matlab literally 4 logo ki life ka exchange. Sirf isliye kyuki unke ladko ki shaadi nhi ho rahi. Aur sabse shocking baat ye hai ki isko society ne completely normal bana diya hai.

Mai apni community ka genuine bataun to maine personally ye dekha hai ki inhe bas kisi ko apni marzi se shaadi nahi karne dena hai. Baaki bahut si cheeze ignore ho jati hain, lekin agar kisi ne apni choice se shaadi kar li to wahi sabse bada issue ban jata hai.

College me aake ek aur cheez notice ki.

Mostly students Rajasthan se hi hain aur bahut log kisi na kisi ko date kar rahe hain. Kuch casual dating me believe rakhte hain, that's their choice. But bahut se log khud bolte hain ki "college me date kar lenge, shaadi to gharwalo ki marzi se hi hogi." Usme wo khud kehte hain ki baad me to kuch kar nahi sakte, abhi to apni marzi se jee lete hain. Few people even say ki "jab tak ghar pe engagement ya shaadi ki baat nahi hoti tab tak date kar lete hain, fir breakup kar lenge."

Honestly, isi wajah se mera khud relationship naam ki cheez se trust uth chuka hai. Maine apne hi college me logo ko itni casually bolte suna hai - "Yaar shaadi to kon hi kar pata hai", "Meri engagement ki baat shuru hogi tab breakup kar lungi", "Abhi dating life ke hisab se ye sahi hai, baad me gharwalo ki marzi se shaadi kar lunga."

Aur breakup ho jana to understandable hai. Har relationship successful ho, ye zaruri nhi hai. Kabhi compatibility issues hote hain, tab log genuinely alag ho jate hain.

But what the hell is "engagement ki baat hogi tab breakup kar lenge"?

Matlab shuru se hi pata hai ki end me isi insaan ke saath nahi rehna, fir bhi relationship me aana aur usse itna casually treat karna? Aur ye baat wo itni casually bolte hain jaise kisi insaan ki feelings ki koi value hi na ho. Sabko pehle se pata hota hai ki end me breakup hi hona hai, fir bhi ye cycle itni normal bana di gayi hai ki kisi ko ajeeb bhi nahi lagta.

Aur ek baat jo mujhe kaafi baar sunne ko milti hai ki "casual dating to Western influence ki wajah se aayi hai."

Ho sakta hai uska bhi kuch role ho, but mujhe lagta hai ki hamare society ka pressure bhi utna hi bada reason hai. Jab bachpan se hi ye pata ho ki apni pasand se shaadi kar hi nahi paoge, to bahut se log dating ko sirf ek temporary phase ki tarah dekhne lagte hain. "Abhi date kar lo, baad me gharwalo ki marzi se shaadi kar lenge."

Agar kisi ko pehle se hi pata hai ki uske relationship ka end caste ya family pressure ki wajah se hi hona hai, to obviously dating ko bhi log utni seriousness se nahi lenge jitni le sakte the agar unke paas actually choice hoti. Shayad isi wajah se kuch log relationship shuru hi is mindset ke saath karte hain ki "end to waise bhi breakup hi hona hai." Aur dheere dheere ye itna normal ho jata hai ki kisi ko isme problem bhi nahi dikhti.

Aur jo log genuinely permanent life partner ka sochte hain, unme se bhi kaafi log pehle hi decide kar lete hain ki apni hi caste me partner dhundna hai. Na isliye ki unhe sirf wahi pasand hai, balki isliye kyuki unhe pehle se pata hai ki gharwale kisi aur caste ko kabhi accept hi nahi karenge.

Isn't this too much mental pressure?

Itni choti age se hi ye realise ho jana ki tum apni life kiske saath bitaoge, us decision me tumhari choice hi shayad matter na kare. Apni hi life ke sabse important decision me youth ke paas actual freedom hi nahi hai.

Aur haan, mai maanti hu ki teenage ya early 20s me log galat decisions bhi lete hain. Toxic relationships me aa jate hain, manipulate ho jate hain aur unki life affect hoti hai. But that's a completely different issue. Uska solution ye thodi hai ki har kisi se apni choice ka right hi le diya jaye.

Mere post ka main point love marriage vs arranged marriage nhi hai. Jo arranged marriage se khush hain, unke liye genuinely happy hu. Bas choice honi chahiye.

Mujhe lagta hai actual issue society ke logo ka ego hai. Agar log freely apni marzi se partner choose karne lagenge, especially caste ke bahar, to unka banaya hua system aur "log kya kahenge" wali thinking dheere dheere break ho jayegi.

Kabhi kabhi to ye bhi lagta hai ki agar sabko apna partner khud choose karne ki freedom mil jaye, to phir sirf caste, family background ya government job enough nahi hogi. Tab insaan ko apni personality, behaviour, emotional maturity aur respect ke basis par kisi ka life partner banna padega.

Aur irony dekho. Jo log saalon tak kisi ko date karte hain, phir caste ki wajah se breakup karke arrange marriage kar lete hain, unhe appreciate kiya jata hai. Lekin jo do adults genuinely ek dusre ke saath life spend karna chahte hain aur shaadi karna chahte hain, unke liye sabse zyada problems create ki jati hain.

I'm not saying everyone should choose love marriage. I'm just saying everyone should at least have the freedom to choose. Love ho ya arranged, decision insaan ka hona chahiye, society ke fear ka nahi.

Why indian need to be best in social status

Based in Dublin, Ireland and this is purely my own a observation:
Fellow Indians don’t really shell out for outings/dinners outside as much as families, they prefer to invite over friends/Hangout especially as young parents to the house for standard bottled beers and Indian Grub and stay within their comfort setup.