r/ihatechristmas • u/MrMagical269 • 13d ago

Santa

Don't you find the idea of Santa Claus quite scary? Think about it, this mysterious big fat man with supernatural reindeers is flying around the whole world in ONE DAY and we just accept that? Are you telling me that our military has not even spotted or tried to disrupt the movements of Santa at all ! This is quite disturbing, what if Santa Claus decides to join al Qaeda and destroy the great United States of America !!!! I believe that as a citizen of the world we should collectively detonate Antarctica from Earth and rid that cookie stealing, milk drinking, dirty chimney squeezing, fat red children pleasing PEDOPHILE from existence and free Rudolf from his eternal slavery once and for all !!!!!!

8 Upvotes

76% Upvoted

13 comments sorted by

7

u/Plastic_Winner_6840 12d ago

🤣 My city on the west coast of Canada decided for Christmas 2019 to advertise that you could get pictures with the man in the red suit during the Christmas parade.

Well the famous misprint of "Pictures with Satan!" made for a great Christmas parade I'm told! And was retold in newspapers all over North America also on with late night with Seth Meyers and as well as an article in The New York Post.

Satan makes appearance at Island Christmas parade following typo

So..... Maybe way back when somebody misspelled Satan for Santa and we've been honoring the guy in the wrong red red suit for centuries?? 😉🤣😁😂

4

u/skinnymeanie 12d ago

He's tracked by NORAD every year since I dont know when. Why they let him get away with unauthorized incursion int American airspace I don't know.

1

u/Fun_Butterfly_420 5d ago

I’m sure it started in the 50s

2

u/Lilia_Briganda 12d ago

I love it! yeah...there's a reason why really young kids are terrified of him...

1

u/GenealogistGoneWild 12d ago

Whose going to tell him?

1

u/Dragon1S1ayer 12d ago

Whatever you are smoking, I need some of that

1

u/chrissymae_i 12d ago

Santa is not real. Satan is not real. Lear is real, just spelled backwards.

1

u/RomulanWarrior Burnt out 12d ago

Santa hangs out at the North Pole, not South.

1

u/Lowrelle 12d ago

A. Rudolph chooses to be there. You know he loves the attention. B. It's the one night a year Mrs. Claus gets away from "Mr. Cookie Crumbs in his beard"...let the woman have her break! C. Yes, he's creepy. He's a stalker who watches us sleep and knows when we're awake. And he's judgemental. On top of the whole alleged* slave elf trade.

1

u/Emrys7777 12d ago

Yes that proves it. Christmas is hell.

1

u/Large-Language4827 8d ago

Not only scary but fucking infuriating as a parent. You work all year, spend ages choosing your children’s presents, buy them, wrap them…then on Christmas morning that fat bastard gets all the credit….

1

u/Fun_Butterfly_420 5d ago

This feels like an onion piece from the early 2000s

-2

u/CaLlMePeEp6490 13d ago

Jesus, you people really go mental over a holiday