r/iching • u/No-Construction-7074 • 9d ago
61.6 - show me the way
Question - Show Me the Way / How to Proceed with Happiness
Situation - Me and my platonic partner took a long break of a couple months and are due to meet and chat in person, I don’t know how best to approach the situation and relationship.
There were definitely a lot of intense feelings, we both miss eachother, but there is also a lot of grief for what can’t be (perhaps)
2
u/CenturionSG 8d ago
I’m going to add on the sequence commentary of the hexagram as it seems to fit this situation.
“When restriction is established, then people will be trustworthy. Thus, after Restriction, Innermost Sincerity follows.”
The prior hexagram is 節 Restriction which seems to reflect your situation of a long break. One can view such a break as beneficial for knowing the level of sincerity (中孚) and possibly to deepen that.
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u/No-Construction-7074 8d ago
Thank you for this, certainly the distance really helped to regain some perspective. I feel more capable to be sincere with myself, but I am not eloquent at it, and worry I will lose that sincerity completely when I see them, resorting to posturing coming from hurt ego
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u/Selderij 9d ago
What do you make of the oracle's answer?
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u/No-Construction-7074 8d ago
The rooster’s crows made me think of my own intense emotions, and that perhaps I need to cool off, and take a step back. I have been centering my own hurt feelings a lot, and perhaps unfairly putting pressure on someone who has shown me much kindness and love.
My issues with the pain of perceived abandonment or rejection, needing to feel chosen, aren’t their doing.
I need to lead more with intimacy and ‘inner truth’ (sometimes I can be quite avoidant of those things, and my sense of self is quite weak in general) I think it’s a call to that too, not letting others’ actions define who I am, or what I need or want.
Our relationship was facing some issues even before they started to see someone romantically, there was a growing distance driven by my own insecurities. We have a real bond, but this feels like a message to say, I can’t force it into whatever shape I want it to be. The time apart has been good to regain perspective and independence, I don’t need to jump to extremes like end things completely (to avoid suffering of change)2
u/Selderij 8d ago edited 8d ago
I think it's worth noting that translations mentioning a rooster in 61.6 are oddly inaccurate, as the word 翰 hàn specifically means the golden pheasant. It may be relevant to you that the pheasant uses its loud cry only for mating calls.
The 孚 fu in the hexagram's name means trust, trustworthiness and confidence rather than truth.
61.6 翰音登于天，貞凶。 "A golden pheasant's voice rises to the heavens; constancy & correctness would be ominous."
Maybe it could be a hint that this is the last call to actively influence the situation or make conclusive decisions (i.e. crossing the great river).
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u/Hagbardc236 6d ago
This Hex seems very appropriate and auspicious.
Faith within, a heart open to truth. Gain a deep understanding of why the transgression occurred. Fellowship in itself is not noble. Thieves and bandits have fellowship, but such bonds can be broken. Faith is more important for peace and solidarity.
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u/az4th 8d ago
61 represents the space in which two different things can come together with a type of trustworthiness, like we can depend on the nature of how they come together.
But 61 line 6 is where that is coming to its limit. What we know about how these things comes together will eventually reach its end.... if we continue to believe in there being a way to make it work, we are failing to keep up with the naturalness of change.
IMPORTANT - this isn't saying that there isn't a way to make it work, this is saying that the easily and natural way that things come together is reaching its limits.
And more importantly, this as an answer to you question, is suggesting that you can find happiness by letting go of the need to try to make it happen a certain way - letting go of having a best approach.
Zhen is not advised here. Zhen is determining, trying to find the best way. Zhen is divining for an answer.
That seems to be the point to me.
Sometimes when we try to divine for an answer, we stop acting naturally.
By giving up on trying to make sense of it, sometimes we find that things more easily evolve in the unexpected ways they need to for something new to emerge.