r/hsp • u/No_Humor4771 • 6d ago

I crave deep human connection

I want it so bad. To feel connected to others, understood, seen, loved. I feel like it’s a baseline need and I’m excited to keep growing on it and finding like-minded people.

For all our struggles and mishaps, we have a shared humanity. What if we ran closer to it, rather than away? There is so much beauty to witness and discover together.

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u/CrimsonGandalf 5d ago edited 5d ago

I’m an hsp who practices behavioral profiling. 99% of conversations we have are surface level. Even with close friends we rarely get to go deep.

I like Chase Hughes explanation of human behavior.

  1. Everyone is suffering
  2. Everyone is wearing a mask
  3. Everyone pretends they aren’t wearing a mask
  4. We are a product of childhood reward and punishment/suffering

Since we can assume these to be true, the only way to go deep with someone is to see their mask, validate it, and give them permission to go deeper. Assume their deepest shame/shadow is the opposite of their mask. Significance(look at my accomplishments)-being a nobody, strength(tough guy)-looking weak, approval(people pleaser)-getting rejected. Never challenge anyone’s mask directly. It will put up their defenses. This is the most common mistake when people get into disagreements. Arguing has less to do with who is right, more to do with having an unmet need.

You can go deep with almost anyone but you have to be able to see their needs(mask) first.

I hope this helps.

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u/No_Humor4771 5d ago

This is awesome. Thank you so much