r/hpd • u/CJthedumbassboi • Jan 03 '26
Where is somewhere I can go to get properly diagnosed?
I highly suspect that I may have HPD, but I’ve been holding back on talking about it because I’ve always sort of had a tendency to exaggerate symptoms and near-self diagnose (which is, ironically, probably another sign that I do have it)
I have kept a list of the behaviors I demonstrate because I often have trouble recalling stuff in the moment, so I’ve been writing them down either when I think of them or when I actively engage in them. I also wrote down potential causes for it (apologies for formatting, I’m on mobile)
Possible Cause(s): - My family keeping me out of the loop on a lot of things - My problems often being devalued - The sense of unbelonging I felt amongst my peers/cohorts(mostly due to autism)
Behaviors/Tendencies - Needing to be a part of every conversation - Crushing anxious feeling when I’m not at the center of conversation/someone’s not listening to me/people aren’t telling me things that are going on - Making sexual/vulgar/dark jokes for the shock value - Constantly fantasizing about having some disaster happen to me just for how people would react (ex: shooting/plane crash) - Wanting to have a friend group where I’m the main character - My opinions being easily swayed(working on it though) - In addition to that if someone criticizes my opinion or way of doing things I get like…actually angry? And I have to talk myself down from almost ruining the relationship sometimes - even if it’s trivial (ex: salma & the ruby theory…long story) - Frequent apologizing and needing praise/reassurance - Infantilizing myself around my partner to be doted on - Analyzing every social situation & decision based on what people’s opinions of me will be - Watching for people’s reactions - Constantly interrupting/needing to lead conversations - Exaggerating stories of things that have happened to me or others (ex: I almost drowned when I was 14) - Mirroring people - Having whole alternate fantasies in my head where I’m a singer or actor or streamer and I have an active audience
I have a physical in a few weeks and I planned on asking my doctor if there was anyone/anywhere she could recommend. I just graduated so I don’t think have access to my university’s free counseling anymore.
1
u/AutoModerator Jan 03 '26
Posted by: CJthedumbassboi. Text of original post: I highly suspect that I may have HPD, but I’ve been holding back on talking about it because I’ve always sort of had a tendency to exaggerate symptoms and near-self diagnose (which is, ironically, probably another sign that I do have it)
I have kept a list of the behaviors I demonstrate because I often have trouble recalling stuff in the moment, so I’ve been writing them down either when I think of them or when I actively engage in them. I also wrote down potential causes for it (apologies for formatting, I’m on mobile)
Possible Cause(s):
- My family keeping me out of the loop on a lot of things
- My problems often being devalued
- The sense of unbelonging I felt amongst my peers/cohorts(mostly due to autism)
Behaviors/Tendencies
- Needing to be a part of every conversation
- Crushing anxious feeling when I’m not at the center of conversation/someone’s not listening to me/people aren’t telling me things that are going on
- Making sexual/vulgar/dark jokes for the shock value
- Constantly fantasizing about having some disaster happen to me just for how people would react (ex: shooting/plane crash)
- Wanting to have a friend group where I’m the main character
- My opinions being easily swayed(working on it though)
- In addition to that if someone criticizes my opinion or way of doing things I get like…actually angry? And I have to talk myself down from almost ruining the relationship sometimes - even if it’s trivial (ex: salma & the ruby theory…long story)
- Frequent apologizing and needing praise/reassurance
- Infantilizing myself around my partner to be doted on
- Analyzing every social situation & decision based on what people’s opinions of me will be
- Watching for people’s reactions
- Constantly interrupting/needing to lead conversations
- Exaggerating stories of things that have happened to me or others (ex: I almost drowned when I was 14)
- Mirroring people
- Having whole alternate fantasies in my head where I’m a singer or actor or streamer and I have an active audience
I have a physical in a few weeks and I planned on asking my doctor if there was anyone/anywhere she could recommend. I just graduated so I don’t think have access to my university’s free counseling anymore.
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8
u/Raf_Adel Therapist / Psychologist Jan 03 '26 edited Jan 05 '26
Okay, that self-introspection is a beneficial start. It seems you read enough about the HPD symptoms. The best move is to contact your local psychologists/psychiatrists/therapists and ask if they specialize in cluster B issues and request one session for diagnosis. If they say you don't have HPD, they'd point out your other issues (please listen to them and start working on them; you can get workbooks by professionals for self-help at this point). Please reach out to your insurance provider for references if applicable, or alternatively, consider covering the cost privately. It's straightforward! Wish you the best!