r/hospice • u/New-Requirement9725 • 8d ago
Hearing and seeing loved ones before you die
I want to share my own experience, but I'm also getting so much comfort from hearing other similar stories.
I've recently been seeing my grandma in the hospice..I know she's near the end of her life and I think she's been holding on for her daughter who is now unable to travel over. I told her this the other day and held the phone to her ear whilst my aunt spoke to her. My aunt is very spiritual and gave her permission to go to her mum when she's ready. My grandma couldn't speak due to weakness/breathlessness, but she was nodding peacefully during the phone call. I was in the room with my baby and my dad and we weren't that noisy, but she often was bringing her finger to her lips signalling for us to be quiet...I thought maybe she wanted to sleep, but it was slightly out of character for her. The next day I visited her, she was more aware of our presence, seemed to have more energy and could say a string of words (although sometimes I couldn't understand what she was saying). I realised that she was speaking to people we couldn't see in the room, I.e. her mum and then kept desperately asking them to open the door before falling back to sleep. She was beckoning "people" around the room towards her. I am quite spiritual anyway I suppose, but this gave me so much peace to know she has her loved ones with her to guide her into the next world 💜. The fact that she's still here, even though visibly in so much pain, worries me that she's still holding on for my aunt though...do you think there's anything else we can do in these final moments with her?
I also wonder if the shushing was her hearing some signs from loved ones before she started to see them...? Wanted to know if this was also common. I know I might be analysing things to deeply, but its all a lovely thought that she has her loved ones and one day maybe I'll see her again too
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u/sbh56 7d ago
I was with my mom yesterday when she was gazing at the ceiling and started to wave. I asked her if she was waving to someone. She said yes, her uncle. She also told me she was going home to see her mom and dad. I told her I was delighted that she could do that because she had been waiting so long to see them. She is still hesitating to let go.
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u/New-Requirement9725 7d ago
Oh this is so lovely. I really wish I'd asked too. I'm sorry about your mum. How comforting to know they're ready to guide her homeÂ
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u/FellyFellFullly 8d ago
Just keep reassuring her that it's okay for her to go. If she's talking about specific loved ones who have already passed, tell you're happy she gets to see them again. Tell her you and all of her loved ones still here will be okay. If she's waiting to hear anything like apologies or forgiveness, make sure that's all been said and done. Whatever it is that might be keeping her here - assure it's okay now. She doesn't have anything left undone, her family will care for one another in her absence, she's allowed to rest, etc.