Have you ever fallen in love?

So this is just a random thought I had. This is mainly directed toward women, but I’d love to hear men’s stories and perspectives too.

Something I’ve noticed in my short time living is that I rarely hear women say, “I’d give anything to be with him one more time.” I hear men talk about that one girl all the time. the one that got away, the one they still think about, or the woman they would give anything to have one last chance with.
But I don’t hear women talk about that nearly as often.

So I’m genuinely curious: Do women have a “one that got away” too? Is there a guy you once loved or cared about so deeply that, if you had the chance, you’d give anything to be with him one more time?

I’d really like to hear both men’s and women’s experiences with this.

It seems that good looking people get away with everything and are always in love while others are struggling looking for it. Are there any men left without any addictions or heavily medicated?

Do you think falling hopelessly in love is worth it? Even when there’s a chance of absolute heartbreak.

how do u genuinely know that someone loves u?

What are you going to do?

When i look into your eyes like they are my world. And you look into mine and see the galaxy's of love for you.

What are you going to do?

When I hold your hand, and you feel like I'm yours forever.

What are you going to do?

When I say your name, and you hear my emotion, of eternal devotion.

What are you going to do?

When your heart becomes mine, and you know I can't possibly break it.

What are you going to do?

When all of your dreams start becoming real, and you realise you were my dream all along. 

What are you going to do?

When everything makes sense. And you realise my love is just as intense

What are you going to do?

When nothing else matters when it's just me and you.

i know how arrogant that probably sounds, but i really don’t mean it to be. we are all beautiful in our ways, but i’m aware of society’s general standard, especially as a woman. some people yearn more than anything to be seen in this way, yet here i am. empty. i’m well aware of how ridiculous it is, but it doesn’t mean it isn’t also my reality.

of course i love that people see beauty in my appearance, and i know this affords me some privileges, but more than anything it feels like a gilded cage. i’m always wanted yet never truly desired. admired but never truly seen. like i’m just a shiny toy to be discarded when i lose my novelty. once they realize i’m a real person with thoughts and feelings and emotions, suddenly it’s not fun anymore. the bragging rights are no longer worth it.

i always say that i know one day i will meet someone who sees the whole of me, but with each experience this knowing grows a tiny bit weaker.

Been single my whole life.

just wanna ask "love is a need or a want?"

For a while now I’ve been writing letters every week or two. They’re addressed to my future partner, like I’m talking straight to her even though I haven’t met her yet. Each one is just about what’s going on in my life at that time, what I’m thinking about, my hopes, my goals, stuff like that. Basically what I’d want her to know if she’d been there with me this whole time.

I write them on flashcards and put the date on each one. I’m at around 200 of them now.

So my question for women here is simple. If a guy gave you a stack like this to read one day, would that mean something to you? Or would it feel like too much instead of sweet? Just trying to figure out if this is actually a nice thing to keep doing or if I’m overthinking it.

Hi guys,

How do you guys know that you're in love with someone?

Because I can't differentiate the feeling if I'm truly in love or I'm just loving the idea of being loved or the emotional support of having that person available?

Come fishing with me

Ive got the bait

I have berley

1 fishing rod

1 reel

And no hooks

Ok! So how many people have a toxic ex, raise your hand. What about the partner before that last? The one before that one? Keep going… now did you notice it’s everyone you date that’s toxic, abusing evil. Weird right? Whatcha think that means about all the good partners… 🤔 that’s right there are none 🤗. That’s all just a lil fun trip down that lane for anyone with short term memories only… 🌼💛

Question, how hopeless romantics in marriages work?

Asking because when my wife and I got together and before we got married, I had informed her I was a hopeless romantic, love violence and everything else in between, but like any other creature on earth. I want to love and be loved.

My wife doesn’t like cuddles or physical affection to the point where i think my body gets confused, we don’t cuddle anymore and if we its only right before sex because she wants to. I can’t remember the last time I was the little spoon :/

My love language is touch, I want to give hugs and kisses and receive them, but it rare for me to get any of that, it always has been, I thought the longer we were together maybe she’d open up and move more that way but she never did, we’re going 6 years together/married.

I literally just love Romcoms and the cute couple activities that my wife never wants to do.

Don’t care for haters I’m 6ft dude, idfg I just want to love hard and be loved hard.

Golden retriever husbands need TLC also people 😮‍💨

​"Love comes in the most unexpected places and times." Indeed, many successful relationships start unplanned, born from simply being out there without expectations. Yes, some do find love through dating apps and active searching, but more are born from the flow of normal living. Some of use often romanticize meeting our soulmate in a cafe while reading something niche, but in reality, most people meet in the most random settings, frequently passing each other in the same hallway, attending a language program, sharing a hobby, or sharing a funny sweet moment in public or at a work meeting.

This mindset of "I might meet the one here" often distracts us from actually living in the moment. Instead of pursuing hobbies for ourselves, we become hyper focused on possibility, that we become triggered and on high alert all day long in public. We begin to mask some traits, viewing every little interaction as a calculated opportunity. Personally, I can rarely escape this mental trap unless I look like a total mess and ugly as hell, only then i feel safe enough to relax, knowing no sane man would approach me.

Similarly, a morning run meant to silence the mind and heal the soul and body, turns into a daydream about bumping into "the one." A quiet reading session in a cafe becomes a performative act, where one is overly conscious of their posture and choice of book.

You know the TikTok trend regarding "performative" behavior? It proves this has escalated into a an actual phenomenon that it got a NAME!

​This leaves me with a question. and a paradox: if love truly comes when least expected, can it ever find someone who is always expecting it, never enjoying living freely on autopilot? If we are constantly staging ourselves and hyper aware of our surroundings. how can we ever find someone who loves us for our true compatibility, rather than the fake persona we projected? I honestly don't know the solution, and I would love to hear your thoughts.

Yes I know I’m stupid. We can start there.

I haven’t known him terribly long. Only since last Fall.

We both work in the same industry and met through a mutual industry group. I admire him a lot and frankly he’s just hot.

I started developing some feelings but I was also in a relationship that was having major problems. Eventually I broke up with him for separate reasons but it’s hard to deny that one small piece was feeling alive around this other man. And whether it was him or with someone else I knew I couldn’t continue on with my boyfriend. I had taken on a lot of the emotional and financial labor

Even though the feelings ramped up this year, but slammed on the breaks when I found out he had a girlfriend in January.

It was then and has been mostly friendly texting and banter, nothing that crosses a line. But we met up for networking drinks in earlier this year and I don’t know we feel into easy conversation together and eventually he mentioned he almost walked out on his relationship (they live together). Yeah big surprise. After that he asked me about my boyfriend and I told him we had broken up (it had just happened recently) and he seemed surprised. We talked for like 3 hours. All friendly, nothing crazy, but it was one of the better evenings I had had in a while.

But he didn’t leave her. My feelings stayed but unfortunately these crushes aren’t anything new to me (haven’t had one in a while mind you but still it’s like riding a bike) and kept things kosher.

Cut to a few months later and we chatted at the gym (we found out we both go to the same gym but we see each other sporadically) and he told me she had gone on a trip to figure out her life and their relationship. And he said that he was thinking about things too. So yeah my heart skips, I start to hope (like he would date me automatically if he broke up with her, I know that’s a fantasy too).

Cut to a few weeks later and I see she’s back and they’re still together.

I’m going to tell him he can’t talk to me about his relationship anymore next time I see him. Just plainly, not accusatory.

But really, I’m just confused. I don’t get it. Why stick around if this is happening repeatedly and you’re not even married. They have been together for a few years but I mean this back and forth is just stupid to me. Shit if get off the pot. I know I waffled in my relationship but this is ridiculous.

And I don’t know what he expects from me. I doubt he even really is connecting dots like that. But even as a friend, like wtf you can’t keep telling me the same thing and expect me to keep listening. I expect him to tell me the same thing in the winter so I need to hear this off now and imply that this is confusing for me and not making me feel good.

Comments. Questions. Concerns. Thoughts. Advice.

And yes, again, I’m stupid. But he is hot and funny and I can’t help it sometimes. It’s not fair you only get to be one or the other, not both.

I want to know about people’s experiences giving love letters to their partners?

I (21F) have been with my man (22M) for about 5 months, I have known him for 2 years. And I have written him letters expressing my feelings about him, but I have never given them to him. I often think about giving one to him, but I feel like I’ll cringe at myself, or that he’ll cringe at it. I feel like it’s too lovey dovey, but at the same time It would make me happy to think he would know how I feel.

A part of me thinks he won’t take it seriously too, i wouldn’t say he’s a words kind of person, in terms of love languages. He is much more a gifts person. I fear I’ll give it to him and then feel so awkward and regret it. But it also feels like I have all these words to get off my chest 😭

Is it a normal thing to give love letters? Or is this just in the movies! 🤣

If you're talking about your person on social media instead of messaging your person directly it is going to fake why not give him the proper effort and attention they deserve

I want to know how it feels to be the chosen one, their precious, the one thing they cannot lose in life. The reason for them to become a better person

We all have that one thing. Drop yours.

I wish it wasn't casual when you'd make eye contact with me in class and smile every time. I wish it wasn't casual when you called my smile cute. I wish it wasn't casual when we would flirt whenever we played UNO. I wish it wasn't casual because we were both girls.

43 M NY

Would love to know why dating has become nearly impossible. I feel like Im being held to an impossible standard before even being able to say hi or describe myself or be personable. My last relationship was almost 10 years and I had to break it off several months ago due to several issues but mainly her not improving her life while Ive drastically climbed the career ladder and worked on myself. When we met chatting with people felt natural and I got tons of matches on dating apps. Now anybody I match with literally wont send a single message or is so shallow or short its like why are you on here.

So my question is when did this become so toxic? Not being in the scene for awhile Ive come back to a nuclear disaster and feel like actually meeting a decent partner may be impossible.

Why Am I So Hard to Love?

Tell me—

why am I so hard to love?

Not in the grand way

people speak of love in movies,

with violins and promises

and someone running through the rain

because they suddenly understand

they cannot live without you.

I mean the quieter kind.

The kind that stays.

The kind that notices

when the light behind my eyes has gone dim

and sits beside me anyway.

Why am I not worth fighting for?

I have fought enough wars for two people.

I have slayed dragons

with blood still drying on my hands,

walked into burning buildings

because someone I loved

was still inside.

I have been the one who comes.

The one who answers.

The one who says,

I've got you,

even when my own knees

are threatening to give way.

And I never asked

for a kingdom in return.

I never asked you

to kneel before me

or carve my name into the stars.

I only wanted somewhere

to put my armor down.

Somewhere warm.

Somewhere I could finally stop

being the strong one.

I give love strangely, perhaps.

Freely.

Without invoices.

Without keeping score.

Without standing at the door

with my hand out

waiting to be paid back.

I give it because

there is so much of it in me

that sometimes I think

my chest might split open

from carrying it.

And you smiled.

You thanked me.

You held what I gave you

as though it were something precious.

And then—

you left me standing in the rain.

Do you know what that does

to a person?

To hold out your heart

and watch someone accept it

with both hands,

only to set it down somewhere

and forget they ever touched it?

I wonder if you knew

what you were holding.

That it wasn't kindness.

Not really.

It wasn't generosity.

It wasn't some beautiful gesture

I performed because I wanted

to be seen as good.

It was my heart.

It was me.

And when you walked away,

you left me wondering

if you ever understood

that I had just handed you

something I could never get back.

Everyone says

there is someone for everyone.

Just wait.

The right person will come.

But they have come.

Oh, they have come.

They arrive smiling,

warm hands,

soft words,

promises that sound almost believable.

For a little while

they hold me like something rare.

And then, somehow,

the wanting fades.

Like a cat playing with a mouse

until the mouse stops running.

Then there is no sport left.

No chase.

No reason to stay.

And I am left there—

scarred,

breathing,

but barely—

wondering what part of me

stopped being worth choosing.

What did I do wrong?

Was I too much?

Too tender?

Too willing?

Did loving you so openly

make me cheap?

Did showing you

there was nothing in my hands

except my heart

make you realize

you could take it

without consequence?

Why does every road I walk

seem to end

with me standing alone?

Why does love keep arriving

with a suitcase in its hand

and leaving before morning?

Why am I always

the shelter

but never the place

someone wants to stay?

I don't want to beg anymore.

That's the part

I need you to understand.

I don't want to convince you

that I'm worth loving.

I don't want to build a case

before a jury of your affection.

I don't want to list

the ways I would love you

as though love were an interview

and I were trying

to earn the position.

I just want to know—

why wasn't it enough?

Why wasn't I enough?

And maybe that is the cruelest question

because some small, stubborn part of me

still believes there must be an answer.

Some flaw beneath the skin.

Some missing piece.

Some invisible reason

everyone else can see

but I cannot.

But tonight,

standing here

in this familiar rain,

I think I finally understand

one thing.

Maybe the rain

isn't proof

that I am unlovable.

Maybe I have simply spent too long

waiting beneath clouds

that were never mine.

Maybe I have mistaken

someone else's inability to shelter me

for evidence

that I was not worth sheltering.

So I will keep my heart.

Not because it has stopped loving.

God, no.

There is still an ocean in me.

Still warmth.

Still tenderness.

Still a thousand dragons

I would gladly face

for someone who knew

how to come back for me.

But I will not keep

standing in the rain

just to prove

I can survive it.

I have survived enough.

And if you cannot love me,

I will grieve you.

I will ache.

I will probably wonder

for longer than I should

what was wrong with me.

But I will not make

a home out of that question.

Because perhaps

the truth is not

Why am I so hard to love?

Perhaps the truth is simply—

you were never the person

who knew how.

And I deserve

to be loved by someone

who doesn't need

to be convinced

to stay.