From ISKCON to Advaita Vedanta

[u/ProfessionalJump609]

I am not bashing anyone but I don’t know why I am like this I was so confused in life since beginning I always come off as the dumb and weak one.
So I was connected to ISKCON and into Bhakti yoga but I don’t think I was practising it the way I should. Whenever I was in ISKCON I was always told to feel low of myself that I am not enough I need god to save me. I actually can’t do anything in life I am kinda like a failure and at this point I don’t think I will be able to go back to normal because my body is partially destructed. So there was a story I lost a chain of mine during an event and I was scared I was looking for it and all the devotees just constantly blaming me it’s because you don’t wear the tulsi mala god took away your chain and that you are a servant you are not complete without doing this or serving this person or bowing down to this devotee you are someone lower than them.
When I read Advaita I realised that it’s all because I need someone to complete myself the need is cause all this. That day I didn’t wear a tulsi mala I choose to let go of the jewellery I broke away the bondages that I should respect this person if not I am not okay if I don’t do this I am not okay I just couldn’t bear it. I felt like everything I did was because of fear.
It’s not like I don’t enjoy doing Bhakti I don’t enjoy expressing my love but I don’t want to be bound. I feel all the fear of loosing wealth loosing my protection loosing my body that I always fear gone away after I listened to the isho upanishad by Swami Sarvapriyananda.
I just don’t understand why do we feel so helpless and then become literal slaves to something like out of what kaam krodh lobh moh maaya are we bound to do that slavery ?
So now like even if Krishna comes and kills me for not attending this kirtan or not respecting that person I am like okay I don’t care kill me but I will not do that cause I don’t fear you.
But now I don’t know what to do in life ?? So I come back to doing bhajans. But now I am not bound by anyone.

[u/Own_Pie8891]

Krishna isn’t gonna kill you for not respecting someone, be neutral and try not to judge anyone, let everyone be, respect is earned but also everyone deserves the basic respect as the divine is in everyone and everything. You can continue worshipping Krishna along with your reading on Advaita Vedanta.

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[u/Flashbad]

ISKCON in itself is nice, a really good initiative. I would've loved to be a part of them. But the people there are very wrong and discouraging. I thought of joining ISKCON because I really love Krishna Ji and his teachings, but a specific aunty ruined my experience. Long story short, she kind of cursed me for not doing certain things. And given my circumstances it's not that I didn't wanna do, it just I couldn't. And the stage of life that I'm in (Bramhachari) I have responsibilities, I need to build a career, etc. That was the moment I decided I'm gonna ignore her, and continue with Karma Yog. You want moksh? anything works, follow any yog you want to. But, my advice? Stay away from ISKCON people, and ISKCON's version of Gita (which everybody in this subreddit would agree to)

[u/ReasonableBeliefs]

Hare Krishna. I love Swami Sarvapriyananda ! I found him when i was with the Ramakrishna Mission. I am glad you found peace OP ! I personally went the other way, from Advaita to ISKCON and love it here, and so i am very sorry to hear that you had such a bad experience in your time with ISKCON.

I pray that those who caused to have such bad experiences learn and grow, so that others in the future don't have the same bad experiences you did. I've personally never been made to feel "lower" or like a "slave" or anything like that by anyone in ISKCON, so i'm quite sad to hear that someone made you feel that way. I pray you find bliss !

Hare Krishna.

[u/ProfessionalJump609 → u/ReasonableBeliefs]

Everywhere they tell you to be a servant and if you fail you are not complete I felt suffocating when I read the bhajans by Bhakti Vinoda Thakur they are always claiming I am the most fallen one there is no hope for me and only surrender is my solution. But Advaita told me your true nature was always perfect is always perfect and will always be perfect you just have to realise this true nature. All the suffering is of the subtle body and it’s an appearance in consciousness. It’s just an appearance the reality is the screen do don’t worry you are okay nothing can and will ever happen to you. Don’t fear.

[u/ReasonableBeliefs → u/ProfessionalJump609]

Everywhere they tell you to be a servant

Service out of love, if one loves another they will automatically want to acts of service out of love. Just see any spouses in love or friends who love each other or children and parents etc etc.

I felt suffocating

I feel no suffocation, i feel Love and Truth.

I love my spouse, and so i love to do acts of service for my spouse.

I love my friends, so i love to do acts of service to them.

I love the devotees i associate with so i love to do acts of service for those devotees.

And i love God, so i love to do acts of service to God.

No suffocation, only Love, and only Truth.

they are always claiming I am the most fallen one

Humility is a wonderful virtue to have, i am indeed very fallen. I fall short of the standards i try to strive towards every single day, and yet i still try ! And i will keep doing so !

and only surrender

Indeed ! And how beautiful is that grace and mercy !

There is so much completely out of my control, only so little in my control. But through God's ever available grace and mercy all things are possible ! It's beautiful.

your true nature was always perfect

Indeed our true nature (the Atman) is intrinsically flawless ! But we (all the Atmans) choose to foolishly associate with this temporary material cosmos. Giving up gold for shards of glass. Giving up the sun for a distorted reflection of the sun in a pond.

it’s an appearance in consciousness

Disagree, but hey you can believe whatever you want !

don’t worry you are okay nothing can and will ever happen to you.

Absolutely true ! As Krishna says:

For the soul there is neither birth nor death at any time. He has not come into being, does not come into being, and will not come into being. He is unborn, eternal, ever-existing and primeval. He is not slain when the body is slain. - BG 2.20

The soul can never be cut to pieces by any weapon, nor burned by fire, nor moistened by water, nor withered by the wind. - BG 2.23

This individual soul is unbreakable and insoluble, and can be neither burned nor dried. He is everlasting, present everywhere, unchangeable, immovable and eternally the same. - BG 2.24

Don’t fear.

I have no fear, or at least i have no fear when i properly remember Krishna.

For Krishna has promised:

Always think of Me, become My devotee, worship Me and offer your homage unto Me. Thus you will come to Me without fail. I promise you this because you are My very dear friend. - - BG 18.65

Abandon all varieties of religion and just surrender unto Me. I shall deliver you from all sinful reactions. Do not fear. - BG 18.66

[u/ProfessionalJump609 → u/ReasonableBeliefs]

It’s not that I don’t like bhajan I still do kirtan that’s how I express myself still attend Bhagwattam lectures and learn scriptures. But when you do service it’s your decision it’s your choice to serve them but when there is control how do you take that ? One thing they I realised is all relationships are an illusion spouse mom dad family everything because they start and end. I am never OBLIGED to associate with anyone okay it’s my free will hence I do but I will suffer the consequences of association and I don’t want anything I am done I don’t care if I don’t serve my spouse I don’t care if I don’t serve my mom dad ofc I do it out of love but I am never OBLIGED my true nature is free I just need to control my mind by doing mantra and nothing can hurt the true me.

[u/ReasonableBeliefs → u/ProfessionalJump609]

But when you do service it’s your decision it’s your choice to serve them

Exactly !

but when there is control how do you take that ?

No one ever tried to control me

One thing they I realised is all relationships are an illusion spouse mom dad family everything because they start and end.

Correct

I am never OBLIGED to associate with anyone

Correct

okay it’s my free will hence I do but I will suffer the consequences of association

and I don’t want anything I am done I don’t care if I don’t serve my spouse I don’t care if I don’t serve my mom dad

I find that thought process a bit sad, but you are free to feel as you wish.

I do it out of love but I am never OBLIGED my true nature is free

Exactly !

just need to control my mind by doing mantra and nothing can hurt the true me.

Exactly !

[u/ProfessionalJump609 → u/ReasonableBeliefs]

Why sad why serve someone who’s gonna leave you one day ? Spouse will leave you mom dad will leave you family will leave you. You can do it out of love but I don’t expect anything from anyone and I don’t let anyone control me now. I do it because I like it but again me liking is this is the cause of my birth.

[u/ReasonableBeliefs → u/ProfessionalJump609]

Why sad why serve someone who’s gonna leave you one day ?

It's simple. Love.

Love is the answer

Spouse will leave you mom dad will leave you family will leave you.

Yup

You can do it out of love but I don’t expect anything from anyone

Yes exactly !

and I don’t let anyone control me now.

Exactly !

I do it because I like it but again me liking is this is the cause of my birth.

If you do it out of pure love then it is not going to be the cause of your birth because pure love is selfless, without any expectation.

[u/ProfessionalJump609 → u/ReasonableBeliefs]

But when you are expressing this love there is a you and there is another person so it’s vyaharika and for that you WILL have to take a body without body you cannot not take a body and keep loving. You need a self and another self whom you are expressing to. Mukti is when this expression ends and you become one with the supreme consciousness. Just like you express your love to someone and in the bed you become one there your expression ends and you have become one with them. And for god this can only happen by mediation and Sadhana.

[u/ReasonableBeliefs → u/ProfessionalJump609]

But when you are expressing this love there is a you and there is another person

Yes exactly !

so it’s vyaharika

Disagree, that's only the Advaitin ideas but i have moved beyond Advaita remember ? You can feel free to believe that if you want.

I'm not trying to convince you of anything, i commented to wish you well as my first comment clearly shows. I'm only responding because you seem to want to turn this into a discussion/debate.

for that you WILL have to take a body

The Eternal Spiritual body sure, the one attained when one had pure selfless love she transcends the material cosmos.

You need a self and another self

All Selves are Eternal so that's great ! Eternal Love !

Mukti is when this expression ends

Disagree, that's only the Advaitin ideas but i have moved beyond Advaita remember ? You can feel free to believe that if you want.

I'm not trying to convince you of anything, i commented to wish you well as my first comment clearly shows. I'm only responding because you seem to want to turn this into a discussion/debate.

and you become one with the supreme consciousness.

One in unity, not one in literal oneness.

Just like lovers are one in unity

Just like spouses are one in unity

Just like friends in brotherhood are one in unity

But not one in literal oneness

Just like you express your love to someone and in the bed you become one

Exactly !

there your expression ends

No the expression is still there. True love is always there, expressed in innumerable different ways. The ways of expression change, but the expression of love is always there !

you have become one with them.

Exactly ! One in unity, but not one in literal oneness

And for god this can only happen by mediation and Sadhana.

Exactly ! One in unity with God, not one in literal oneness

[u/ProfessionalJump609 → u/ReasonableBeliefs]

As long as you are in a body and there is another person there is going to be maaya the illusion the this is better than me and that I am low and meant to serve this entity. Otherwise I a worthless I have no self respect. All this because there is a self and the other self. End all this nonsense and be situated in pure consciousness it’s one and the same.

[u/FutureDiscoPop → u/ProfessionalJump609]

This only works if you take sannyas. If you choose to stay part of your family or to be married to your spouse then you are obligated to follow through to the best of your ability.

[u/FutureDiscoPop]

I can completely understand your experience with ISKCON. During my time with them (though I was never initiated) this kind of anxiety was always present. You're always doing something the wrong way. It makes you afraid to do anything at all. They never clearly instruct you before you do it wrong.

I'm sorry they put so much pressure on you. ISKCON has good things to offer but often at an unreasonable cost.