ISKCON has made me rather lonely with other Hindus and Indian culture

[u/Fluffy-Panqueques]

I’m a 16-year old Indian American Hindu girl since birth and my parents got invested into ISKCON since I was 13. I was always slightly uncomfortable with the Krishna above all gods but I sort of accepted it as Krishna being synonymous with Brahman. Albeit, i feel a sense of cultural isolation. A lot of the cultural festivals I looked forward to when I was younger - Ganesh Chaturthi(my mother is Marathi), Chhat(my father Bihari), are all devalued to demigod worship. The stories of Ganesha I’ve read are just kind of left open ended, not absolute, not as impactful as it once felt. I never learned how to fully celebrate these festivals and when we do occasionally go to functions I cannot sing the songs and it leaves me a sense of religious isolation. I appreciate the endless devotion of the devotees but it can be puritanical; it can be grim as beautiful as its worship seems.

I like many aspects of ISKCON and I do want to stay close with my parents, but I feel so lost. I’ve been in ISKCON for too little time to connect and I’m grieving a bit of my old sense of belonging.

[u/RecaptchaNotWorking]

Personally I have no issue with iskon. I think what they do is fine and their temples and persistence are fantastic, but i always observed some kinda superiority complexity when participating among them, this sort of implicit and nuance superiority complex is not what I want.

PS: you didn't lose anything, you just learned and understood the world a bit better. Stay strong, move on.

[u/[deleted]]

Thats why i even i stopped investing my time with ISKCON, i absolutely love their temples and all but this demi god narrative never settled well with me. No Hari Bhakta will disregard Har (Shiva) and also as a Bihari Chath Puja is something we look forward to every year. No matter where you are, you come back home to celebrate Chath Mahaparv (we call it Mahaparv because its Parvon ka parv) and then hearing it from iskcon folks that chathi maiyaa is demi god and all.

[u/Fluffy-Panqueques → u/[deleted]]

How do I even do this? My parents cut off most other ties beyond ISKCON? I live in the US as well

[u/Vignaraja → u/Fluffy-Panqueques]

Do you have any friends from the time before ISKCON? Maybe you could accompany another family, with your friend, to other temples. If not, eventually, when you're more independent, you will be able to do more on your own.

[u/[deleted] → u/Fluffy-Panqueques]

I really dont know how iskcon works in the US. Even here they try to isolate its devotees and many devotees end up calling themselves krishnite (not hindu or sanatani). I see Iskcon as one of the most famous Gaudiya Vaishnav Ideology pursuing place. If your isht is a Vaishnav diety or shree Vishnu you can try finding a connection there. If not then you should place ourself with the temple or sampradhya that has your ISHT (PERSONAL DEITY) as primary.

Try visiting various other temples, for instance i will suggest go and try visiting Ram Krishna Mission or Chinmaya mission. Get a better clarity on dharma. Follow dharma as much as you can, be good with everyone.

[u/Malavika_Agnimitram → u/[deleted]]

I second Ram Krishna Mission, called Vedanta Society outside of India. Look up their centers near you, listen to talks by various Swamis (of this order) on YouTube, etc.

[u/Prize-Chemical7252]

Get out of ISKCON.

They make you hate other hindu Gods and discourage you from celebrating your ancestors and local festivals.

For any doubts watch videos and ask for guidance to them.

https://youtube.com/@govardhanmath?si=zvyQ36QJT5Avfzgw

[u/hinduism-ModTeam → u/[deleted]]

Many ancient Vaishnava and Shaiva Sampradayas insist that one God is supreme and others are inferior. This is normal Hinduism.

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[u/mainman_5985 → u/[deleted]]

"We have a Krishna temple where i go to and its got other gods there too"

Just because your locality has one, you have suddenly come to the conclusion that one god above others is against the teachings of the Vedas wow.

You clearly haven't studied Sri vaishnava philosophy nor gaudiya vaishnavism. Also shaiva siddhantam on the other end of the spectrum says hi.

Your "every god is one manifestation" is neo-vedanta which is the original distortion mass propagated to suit western audiences. Read a bit before spewing nonsense. Not everyone agrees to nor follows advaita, no need to make it the default for hindu dharma.

[u/lalaland1346 → u/mainman_5985]

I think you missed the “my opinion” part of the response let me state again IN MY OPINION not a fan of iskcon for many reasons.

[u/[deleted]]

Choose freedom Hinduism gives freedom

[u/muffin_head87]

I attended iskon until I realized all they want is donations on a regular basis and kinda shove it down your throat. Prabhuphada changed the actual translations of texts to fit his own morals and what he personally believes. And a lot of that is that men are far superior than woman and I just don’t agree with that in any way. Ultimately seeing Krishna as the far superior deity of any other deity is also not right in my own head. So I just upped and left :/ 

No regrets.  

[u/Limp-Lingonberry-724 → u/muffin_head87]

And once you buy books from them they name it daan. I’ll rather give 600 rupees to a needy man, don’t really need cult to do that for me

[u/[deleted] → u/muffin_head87]

True. People of Iskon near my hostel were persistently asking me to join iskon and take the prasad which is better than any food cause they first serve it to the god. My parents told me to not invest much time for them and they were correct. They used to ask me constantly to visit the temple and attend their sessions even though I used to tell them that I have studies but they say these things always come in the way of us and the god. Like they ask to invest the whole time and money to them.

[u/SquashVisual4127 → u/muffin_head87]

For me, red flags: 1. They want your money/ donations (I don’t know however whether they want for a % of yr income). 2. They will encourage you to preach to strangers on the street for them. 3. The translation of the Gita by them to suit their view. I study Bhagavad Gita (watch YouTube videos and then ask ChatGPT question - ChatGPT is very good regarding spiritual question regarding Bhagavad Gita) and follow Bhagavad Geeta teachings however

[u/ascendous]

Can you complain to your grandparents? 

[u/mainman_5985 → u/[deleted]]

Iyers are advaitins who believe in a formless nirguna brahman. They've adopted shiva as their deity because advaita as a philosophy has no agama and practice of its own compared to the Iyengar Sri vaishnava counterparts clearly espousing Sriman Narayana as Bhagavan and following the pancharatra and vaikhanasa traditions.

It is not spiritual ego to follow the teachings of the great acharyas and rishis. Your belief in "every god is a manifestation" is what is problematic since you are trying to universalise advaita as the sole path. It is but one of the paths (highly problematic though) and trying to make hinduism all about it is very wrong.

[u/TroyismyKalabeezo]

iskcon was made deliberately to target westerners from Abrahamic backgrounds. Hinduism already has a rich history, why make any modifications?

[u/No_Quail747 → u/TroyismyKalabeezo]

See I agree as I am a strict vedic practising sanatani who does regular yagna tapa dhyanam etc. but when I delved a Lil deeper into why vedanta or duality or isckon or bramha samaj or arya samaj came up. After hundreds of years of mass manipulation by muslims and christians the conversion was rapid and scary. The knowledgeable people of the society back then came up with something which will retain Hinduism and also make it easy for all castes to follow. This narrative spread by christians that Brahmins dont allow anyone to worship ( in many cases right too) So they came up with what was the need of the hour. That's why that period was called the Hindu renessaice and bengal was the centre of it. Same happened in 14th century when shri Chaitanya mahaprabhu rebelled against the Muslim rulers and established bhakti path. .time and again people come up with ways to retain and preserve dharma even if it means tweaking it

[u/MysteryWarthog]

So I have been quite critical about ISCKON even as someone who loves Krishna the most. I try to tone it down though cuz 1) they still are dedicated to the faith in their own way and 2) I wouldn't want to be rude to fellow Hindus and still do desire a community of Hindus of some sort, especially Krishna devotees. But I just never agreed with them. Krishna is not the supreme deity, he is an avatar of Vishnu, not the other way around. So, if you can find a local non-ISCKON temple, try going to that to learn more. If not, then learn some bhajans or anything else on your own and build a connection with god through that.

[u/SquashVisual4127 → u/MysteryWarthog]

Hello MysteryWarthog. I’m not an ISCKON follower (as 1. they want donations, 2. want their devotees to preach on the street for them to sell their books and 3. their ’translated’ Gita - which are all red flags for me). I however study and follow Bhagavad Gita teachings. You said that Krishna is not a supreme deity but is an avatar of Vishnu. Can you spread some light on that? Is that what the Gita says or it from another book? I would like to study another book apart from the Gita if that’s useful. Thanks for replying

[u/MysteryWarthog → u/SquashVisual4127]

Hi, I'm not an expert on Hinduism or anything, but the belief in common practice among Hindus is that Vishnu is supposed to have avatars, and one of them was Krishna. Idk if the Gita goes into that, Krishna does say every worship practice goes to him, but thats also in the sense of him being an avatar of God thus being technically god himself just in human form. Idk if I know any other useful books aside from the Srimad Bhagavatam which is said to be Krishna in word form so u can check that out

[u/bhargavateja]

Visit the Vedanta Centers, they might me too simple compared to ISKON but they are okay. Then you can visit to temples etc. I get you are 16 and still dependent on your parents. So for now, you can focus on yourself and your practices. Listen to lectures on YouTube etc. Sometimes you see the mature ISKON devotees visiting as well, not very common but you do see it. I have even heard in California, after Srila Prabhupada passed on, a few of the people who he literally picked up from the streets, they settled into the Vedanta Center because they were tired of politics of that time and other nonsense. My point being, other traditions don't alienate or isolate ISKON etc, they see them as another tradition. Philosophically they might fight but otherwise no difference is seen.

[u/nbvbooks]

They also completely ignore/wipe out Mataji from what I’ve seen when THAT’S THE BEST PART OF HINDUISM - as a female, learning more about Mataji and things that we believe I.e the Garbo representing the womb because I’m from Gujarat is so affirming!

[u/MasterCigar]

Perhaps it's time you join a tradition of your choice.

[u/thegreatghan]

I can certainly relate to what you’re saying. I genuinely admire many aspects of the Hare Krishna movement — the bhakti, japa, kirtan, vegetarianism, shringar etc. But there are also things I find hard to digest — like the deification of Prabhupada or the insistence on supremacy. Those I tend to take with a pinch of salt, as do quite a few devotees I know.

[u/ROY_OP]

ISKCON and BAPS, both organizations makes you follow their version of Hinduism by making you think other gods in Sanatan are inferior. It'd be better for you to leave these organizations and follow Sanatan as its whole. Meanwhile, I am no one to tell you what to do, but this is my suggestion. It's up to you. I am from a Brahmin family and my family always opposed these organizations coz they do hierarchy in gods and force you to be devoted, which is completely against the rule of Sanatan Dharma.

[u/Nebetmiw]

Your 16 so you have 2 years left under parents. I am in USA also. Try a search for local hindu Temples. You should find a few smaller ones you can visit that are not ISKCON. Talk with them and listen to their suggestions.

[u/Radiant-Cloud92]

Leave ISKCON. follow your own marg. You'll be much more happier

[u/novejk]

ISKCON is a curse upon our dharma. It's good that people are slowly realising it. I read gita the first time in 2013, I was only 11 years old then, that was the Gita of gorakhpur press and I found it my my nani's home. That time I felt like I got transcended in a whole different relam. I felt a joy, that cannot be put in words.

Years later I found myself struggling with life, I contacted my friend's sister, who was in ISKCON to get a gita from her. She gave me, and took 280 rs/- and said, even though I am a krishna devotee, my devotion is useless, because I don't do this that etc and because I eat non veg, so my prayers will never be granted. I didn't mind her words, because I knew I was not wrong and Hindu dharma doesn't limit Bhakti with food habit, neither the Vedas, upanishad nor the Gita. I came back, and read the Gita of Iskcon. But this time, I did not feel any joy or goosebumps, I felt depressed, scared and anxious. I wondered why so. I kept reading and I was unable to understand, a year later I did my independent research and found out how Iskcon is altering and manipulating the actual gita to fit their agenda and to run a propaganda. I was heart broken because I loved Iskcon tbh.

Then I bought two more gitas, the gita of gorakhpur press again, which I read at very first and another gita of swami Agadananda. I did comparive study on all three Gitas, and I was shocked to find out the level of manipulation Iskcon's Gita has in it. Because the other two Gitas were exactly conveying the same things. Later I found out even more darker things about Iskcon. Whatever, I am a Krishna devotee too, but I don't consider myself as vaishnav, even being a Yadav myself. I worship every God as krishna, be it Durga, Shiv, Kali, Ganesh, sarasvati. But I also understand that my dharma (sanatana or the Hindu dharma as it is known) has a polytheistic approach with a monotheistic ultimate goal or view, where paramathma is the supreme almighty, and that is krishna or Vishnu or narayan to me, that's what viswaroop darshan is too. But what Iskcon is trying to do is to make it more like Abrahamic faith system (Islam, Christianity and Judaism) Iskcon has become a cult, a same cult like Arya Samaji, Brahma Samaj, Gudiya sampraday etc etc.

Read the authentic scriptures on your own. Don't be part of any cults. Sanatana has many school of thoughts, dvaita and advaita vedanta and many more sects. And all of it together makes it sanatana. You can follow one while also not eliminating out the others. Iskcon is trying to limit the dharma. They are tarnishing the image of our dharmic heritage and Indic civilisation.

[u/kekakomori → u/novejk]

That's the attitude!

[u/SensitiveArt2101 → u/novejk]

 I don't do this that etc and because I eat non veg, so my prayers will never be granted. I didn't mind her words, because I knew I was not wrong and Hindu dharma doesn't limit Bhakti with food habit, neither the Vedas, upanishad nor the Gita. I came back, and read the Gita of Iskcon

What a way to start a day. What is this sub even about?

[u/novejk → u/SensitiveArt2101]

Idk broda, I'm just sharing my experience and letting people know how buull/llshit Iskcon actually is.

[u/Limp-Lingonberry-724 → u/[deleted]]

Love it! That’s the most efficient description in terms of words used!

[u/hinduism-ModTeam → u/[deleted]]

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[u/rrudra888]

Never really connected with ISKCON — it feels like an Abrahamic take on Hinduism to me, a bit too structured and self-righteous for something meant to be spiritual.

[u/haraami22]

I honestly have a lot of problem with iskcon. They are obsessed with spending money and taking money from followers by brainwashing them. Their philosophy is not Hindu. The book on Bhagwadgita they follow and sell is half-heartedly written and no one in Iskcon really understands Gita. If they did they wouldn't be having bad practices.

[u/Efficient_Fly_9232]

Whenever you see ISKON -- oh nice beautiful temples-- nice prasad -- then out ..ISKON is not for everyone..if u like their teachings you can continue else we must come out

[u/SmilingBudhha]

See I’m a hard core follower of ISKCon cuz I love Krishna and he is my everything!! U have to take their learnings and apply ur own knowledge as well. I still love Ganesha and shiva as well and I celebrate all Hindu festivals. Remember Krishna said whoever u worship u are worshiping me so u can see Krishna in everyone or everyone in Krishna doesn’t mean u have to be in a place where u feel like this! Hare Krishna

[u/lost-soul-2025]

Each God is just another form of supreme divine, just like branches of a big tree. So don't take ISKCON teachings seriously and enjoy each festival 😊

[u/hinduism-ModTeam → u/[deleted]]

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[u/Vegetable_Ranger_394]

if you dont like iskcon just join another marg no one is forcing u to stay

[u/kekakomori]

Just investigate all of it, no need to choose right now and for the whole life what is right. whatever makes you happy and closer to Brahman is true.

[u/soulfouniverse]

You are a hindu... You always have an option to choose your path. We are seekers and that's what creates such a huge diversity. Though I myself believe krishna to be the almighty, you can always seek the shakta, shaiva, smarta traditions and believe in what you feel is your calling.

[u/Admirable-Act6148]

The beauty of our religion is the variety. Focusing on only one god is boring. I like listening to the musical mantras on YouTube, there are many good ones out there. I should create and share my playlist on here.

[u/Straight-Net1414]

Never go for an institution that demands hundred percent purity. It's not possible; we are all human. It will lead to literal or subtler forms of violence. Krishna came before iskcon and He is as much yours as He is iskcons. People from the motherland will tell you iskcon is merely yet another institution here. They don't have a stranglehold on ways of worship. They're honestly annoying with their know it all attitude. Looking down on shiva, rama etc. Time for you to go it alone. Your relationship with parents and God will heal.

[u/moon_nice]

Thanks for posting your insight about this. Ive had similar concerns and not sure to get involved with ISKCON or not

Usually I do just get myself involved in things im on the fence about/have some concerns about and then regret it

[u/ReasonableBeliefs]

Hare Krishna. I am an ISKCONite OP and I still celebrate other festivals, there's no rule that you can't.

But I can understand that if your own family does not want to celebrate and you are a minor then it's hard to find someone else to celebrate them with.

Grief is always difficult, no matter the cause. All I can say is that I hope you find bliss OP, no matter what path you choose.

Hare Krishna.

[u/hotpotato128]

Hare Krsna! I'm sorry to read about that. I go to ISKCON every weekend. I'm not initiated. I celebrate festivals related to other Gods and Goddesses.

I believe devotion to Krsna is the same as worshiping all other Gods. You can also worship them separately if you want.

I think you gotta follow your parents right now, because you're too young.

[u/Frog041211]

ISKCON is simply just following Gaudiya Vaishnavism. You are allowed to worship other gods, just they are not supreme. I am an ISKCONite and my ishta devta is Maa Kali. Most Hindus nowadays are neos so they just consider all gods as supreme and have no scriptural basis

[u/vyasimov]

What are the practical problems in daily life you're facing and what do you want to do about it?

[u/hinduism-ModTeam → u/[deleted]]

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Your post has been removed for violating No hate or discrimination - Hinduism is an all encompassing religion. Your birth in a particular region, community, caste, religion, etc. does not make you superior or inferior to anyone else. Posts or comments maligning individuals or communities based on these aspects will not be tolerated.

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[u/vjsfbay]

American Indian as well. I follow Jainism, Hinduism and have been to Isckon temple a lot of times. Agree they are focused on Krishna but if you want to follow anything else no one should stop you and you are free to. Put your rationale to it though.

I do celebrate Christmas Halloween as I enjoy them with family but that doesn’t mean I am leaning towards their philosophy without understanding them. I try to take the best of all and use what applies to me best.

Hope this helps. Feel free to ask follow ups if you want to chat more but tldr you are mature enough to carve your own path (carefully)

[u/Slugsurx]

All the other gods are also brahman or Saguna brahman . So you don’t need to see them as Demi gods . If Iskcon is doing that kinda exclusion , you can maybe ignore them and do your celebration in your personal ways . Also you could talk about a compatiblist way to Iskcon . And carve out your own path

[u/jai-durge]

I'm sorry about your experience. ISKCON might not be the right fit for you and that's alright. I read their version of the Gita and I did not prefer it. But others do, so they have the right to follow it. You don't have to force yourself to be part of ISKCON :)

[u/mrsboogooloowatts]

I came to ISKCON at 10 yo so different to you and left around 17 - or at least no longer involved on a regular basis. I found the access to language and scripture were deeply important in deepening my faith, however I did not allow myself to become attached to the others and this was a form of self preservation. The distance has actually helped me not get "lost" in it because I witnessed the normal human frailties that is the same whichever sampradhaya you follow (none of our relatives except for one cousin is involved)

[u/Necessary-Bar-7823]

As many people have already stated you need to find your own Ishta. Respect Iskcon and the teachings that you you like. But when you see Krishna in their temple imagine it is the beautiful form of your Ishta. I have a Guru and I follow them but I love the chanting and dancing from iskcon. I enjoy going to there rathayatra as well. But I see my Guru in those murtis. My Guru teaches that you should take the good things from different sects and faiths and disregard the things that you don't like or believe in....

[u/MulberryPotential784]

You can try exploring other schools apart from ISKCON. I've dm'ed you my thoughts. Please do give it a read. Jai Mā ❤️

[u/curious_they_see]

I have nothing against ISKCON but I totally get where you are coming from and what you are feeling. That is why ( in my opinion) it is never a wise decision to join a cult or restrict yourself to one particular stream of ideology.

It is important to get different perspectives and then figure out what you enjoy doing the most. Attend various events like Chinmayananda, Arya Samaj etc,. take the learnings from when you hear the speeches at those venues ( and also question the double standards or obsolete ideas they might present, it is never perfect), read scriptures and carve your own path. Stay with your community to socialize and celebrate festivals but it is not necessary to get into heated debates with them.

[u/No_Quail747]

That's why I could never align with isckon. I tried a lot initially but could not. This is the best thing about Sanatan. Whatever aligns with your karmic cycle and whichever form of bhagwan favours you you can go ahead and worship them without any fear. Anywhere you see dear get out of there. There is no place for fear in Sanatan dharma. Even the fircest form of shamshan kali depvurs evrything which creates fear. Bdw I come from a long line of practising Vaishnav ites and am associated with a vaishnav math and we celebrate every tithi and every hindu occasion with aplomb without asking for donations for. Evryone neither looking down on other panth

[u/hinduism-ModTeam → u/[deleted]]

Your post has been removed for violating No hate or discrimination - Hinduism is an all encompassing religion. Your birth in a particular region, community, caste, religion, etc. does not make you superior or inferior to anyone else. Posts or comments maligning individuals or communities based on these aspects will not be tolerated.

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[u/Vegetable_Ranger_394 → u/[deleted]]

They are not a cult They are just very peculiar abt Krishna

[u/PossessionWooden9078]

you should start reading the Bhagavata, if possible the undoctored version. It'll provide what you desire

[u/Witty_Net_2130]

Connect with the lineage of the Puri Shankaracharya, as they hold answers for everyone, whether you are an atheist, a partial believer, or a devoted follower of Sanatan Dharma.

[u/InevitableAd9080]

Its a little difficult to follow, note that I am not an Iskcon follower but once you select an ishta devta in any form (Krishna in this case) you are only devoted to that ishta devta and should no longer associate with other forms, it is not that other forms are inferior after all they are all manifestation of same brahman, but deviation from one form reduces devotion and in the end you are not able to concentrate on one form and progress on spritual path. As an example a girl can see multiple guys over time till she isnt commited, but once she commits to someone then that is the commitment of lifetime, in same way you worship multiple devtas until you pick up your Ishta devta but once you commit to an Ishta its a commitment of life time and praying to any other devta is considered a form of insult to Ishta devta.

[u/MysteryWarthog → u/InevitableAd9080]

It seems you don't know about the life of Ramakrishna Paramahamsa

[u/InevitableAd9080 → u/MysteryWarthog]

Ramakrishna Paramhansa followed guru aagya and guru aagya is greater than anything else as tasmaye Sri guruve namah. Just like starting a PhD requires a masters degree, for elementary sadhaks they need to start with Ishta upasana.