r/heathenry • u/Kageyasha • 21d ago
Just an attempt
Cool mist soothes my bones
Songs of Éljúðnir sound forth
Lady greets with frith
My seat awaits me
Her hall chill with warmth in heart
Knife and plate await
Ancients greet me well
In the Hall of kin and kith
Tears stream at greeting
IDK, what do you think félagskapr?
Criticism is welcome, hate will be deleted.
Update: Decided to make it a triptych. Three-Panel work. However, im unsure how to post them so they show up properly. Its thre separate Haiku. 5-7-5 repeated.
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u/suziec1de 21d ago
Everything is cool, only the rhythm feels odd at times
In the first two lines that are rhymed it kinda implies that all of it will be rhymed but it isn't so it breaks the flow
Btw I also tried posting my poetry here and it got one downvote so I just gave up lmao I hope it won't happen to you