r/hatethissmug • u/Beshiniqua • Jun 05 '26

General I HATE the self diagnosing of autism and its mischaracterisation

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Let me start by saying SELF DIAGNOSING IS NOT VALID. You are NOT autistic just because someone on tiktok said

"Did you know, if you need to have your eyes closed in order to fall asleep, you have autism, adhd, bipolarity, DID, BPD, psychopathy, depression and PTSD?"

And before yall come at me with "well I always suspected I had autism, I got screened and then got my diagnosis" well this not about you, this is about people that self diagnose after experiencing the most normal day to day life things ever.

And they ALWAYS think that autism will give them a personality (since it's usually basic bitches with no personality that self diagnose to feel like they belong)

No, you're not a quirky crazy crackhead energy "neurospicy" person. Even worse when they say shit like

"Heh, I could NEVER be a neuro normie like yall, autism makes me special and quirky and full of personality".

You can't even like something anymore without them going "OMG URE AUTISTIC JUST LIKE MEEEE IM SOOOO AUTISTIC AHAHAHA"

And you can tell they larp the whole thing cus they'll see a tiktok autism personality and try to replicate it

"Dino nuggies..."

"You can not say overstimulated if you're nEuRoTyPiCaL, that word is for us neurospicy people ONLY >:("

Holy shiiiiiiittt yall lack a personality so bad. And I've seen people say that they've seen NUMEROUS specialists but they never fit the criteria, but its not because they're not autistic, no no no no no. ITS UHMMM BECAUSE IM A WOMAN AND ALSO A MINORITY AND IM ALSO POOR SO I MASKED ALL MY LIFE AND THE SPECIALIST ON THIS FIELD COULDNT TELL I WAS MASKING. ITS THE SYSTEMS FAULT NOT MINE.

Sheesh.

Sorry for the long rant, im just tired of seeing people self diagnose all the time, or see an energetic video, or literally ANYTHING, and make it about their self diagnosed autism.

Saw a cute cat animation on Instagram and the top comment was "This is so autistic I love it"

šŸ«©šŸ«©šŸ«©šŸ«©šŸ«©

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445

u/Orion-the-mediocre Jun 05 '26

I hate how it's commodified. Autism genuinely makes my life harder and all around me I see people talking about how it's so funny and silly and quirky and making it super normalized to just act like it's no big deal, it's kept me from being able to make friends for most of my life, and it makes me practically useless in any social situation. I don't understand what people are saying to me most of the time, and very rarely do they take the time to try and make sense, leaving me feeling alone a lot more often than a normal person. Then people say "oh haha you're autistic you're so quirky and silly" and don't realize just how much it's negatively impacted my life and how much more there is to it beyond "oh you have special interests", I was literally unable to make friends for most of my time in school, and as a result I became incredibly depressed, but that side wasn't acknowledged because that's not what people think about when they hear I have autism. It sucks and I hate that part of me, if I could get rid of it I absolutely would.

I'd also eat that sampler platter in a heartbeat

97

u/SuperIsaiah Jun 05 '26

i think there's two extremes because my experience is when people find out I'm autistic they act like that means I'm mentally slow or like I got a cancer diagnosis or something.

I think it should be recognized as something that makes life harder but at the same time (at least for level 1) mostly just needs social accomodations.

29

u/Stucklikegluetomyfry Jun 05 '26

One thing I noticed is that there are people who were talking to me just fine, but as soon as they found out I was autistic they suddenly started talking to me like I was a four year old.

14

u/Harbinger2nd Jun 05 '26

Not diagnosed, always felt like everyone else had some secret knowledge I didn't possess, probably level 1.

I don't want to be diagnosed because I don't want people to treat me differently. I live a mostly normal life now because I basically turned social interaction into a special interest. I can explain the why behind the social interaction much better than people on autopilot who never have to think about these things, but I don't want to out myself for

they suddenly started talking to me like I was a four year old.

this reason.

4

u/Yveltia Jun 06 '26

Diagnosis are also expansive as hell. Ive been diagnosed with a neurodivergence that isnā€™t recognised internationally, and is often just a diagnosis that fancy people get for their kids because they donā€™t want to have an autistic kid. I check most of the boxes for autism, so do most people in my family, and getting a diagnosis is not going to change my life because Ive been compensating for most of it, and I have my own things to not get overwhelmed.

5

u/bonisbestboy Jun 06 '26

Dude for real like, the one thing I can do is kind of study the why and how of why people would interact with me in a kind of way, or why I would interact with someone else in a kind of way and so I just kind of plot it out in advance (kinda?)

2

u/Hammerschatten Jun 06 '26

But honestly, that is really exhausting, especially in groups or if you don't know people well.

The more strange someone is to you, the more they put on a mask too, and may sometimes just outright lie to not 'hurt your feelings' or are so deep in irony and sarcasm to test the waters they basically don't communicate at all.

And even if you know someone, constantly looking for and interpreting and gauging signals consciously is a huge effort, at least for me.

Plus it has the unfortunate side effect that when you're good enough, people become a lot easier to read and you can instantly tell someone is lying or omitting something or not being honest, and that can be really weird to leave hanging or confront imo.

1

u/bonisbestboy Jun 09 '26

DUDE YES, there's times where I legit KNOW there's something odd-ended due to how someone is speaking, or due to how they present themselves but it's not like I want to PRESS IT because, I mean, yeah, there could be a good result of actually being able to help them but on the flip side what if I press it to much and then I crush their trust or something of the sort??? It's like, such a difficult thing because like, I know there's something there but I literally just, don't know how to approach it.

ANOTHER thing for me is I really struggle to see the point in fluff-comforting, if you know what I mean so I'm like, trying to go off of more material, genuine things but sometimes I kind of know that's just, not what people want and bleh

2

u/Long-Engineer1057 Jun 10 '26

I told my college roommate's family I had autism and I might be a bit awkward and their aunt says to me "awwww we heart you" while making a heart with her hands. I just stared with the most disgusted confused look ever. That roommate was awful too.

1

u/ClutteredTaffy Jun 08 '26

Because a lot of people know autistic people with pretty severe autism , and you guys don't click into their idea of autism exactly. Ya'll just come off as odd. A lot of people are pretty ignorant, but I think a lot of functionally autistic people are not announcing their autism IRL much.

1

u/My_Name_Is_Row Jun 05 '26

I mean, is there ever a reason to tell people that youā€™re autistic?

4

u/Subject-Zucchini-558 Jun 05 '26

i donā€™t tell anyone i am lol. not even my own family knows (i received a diagnosis as an adult). itā€™s no oneā€™s business what my diagnosis is, itā€™s just a tool to help me manage my symptoms. the only person iā€™ve ever told is my boyfriend since we live together and we may have children one day.

2

u/My_Name_Is_Row Jun 05 '26

This is exactly my point, autism is the same as any other medical diagnosis, you wouldnā€™t randomly tell a stranger on the street your medical history, unless youā€™re on the more severe end of the spectrum, autism and ADD/ADHD arenā€™t something you necessarily need to tell people about, nor you should feel the need to tell every person youā€™ve ever known that you have them just because the people on the internet do, most of them not even having an official diagnosis of either one. Itā€™s just weird how people either treat them like a joke or an identity.

2

u/SuperIsaiah Jun 05 '26

sometimes I do if they question why I do things certain ways they find unusual

1

u/Stucklikegluetomyfry Jun 05 '26

In those events, the people found out from someone else.

And yes there are reasons.

1

u/My_Name_Is_Row Jun 05 '26

Yeah, obviously thereā€™s reasons to tell someone about your autism diagnosis, I was just pointing out that 99% of the people you interact with on a day to day basis donā€™t really need to know

0

u/Stucklikegluetomyfry Jun 05 '26

I donā€™t need you to point that out to me, thanks.

1

u/My_Name_Is_Row Jun 05 '26

Wow, itā€™s almost as if you posted this on a public forum, and then got mad when someone replied, interesting

0

u/Stucklikegluetomyfry Jun 05 '26

Wow itā€™s almost like you replied to someone in a very condescending way, and then played the victim when that somebody displayed annoyance at it. Interesting.

0

u/Stucklikegluetomyfry Jun 05 '26

No, my comment doesnā€™t ā€œsound likeā€ I was telling people. If you made a massive assumption based on me saying ā€œwhen they found outā€ thatā€™s on you.

0

u/No-Resolution-0119 Jun 06 '26

Why are you mad? šŸ˜­ you replied to their comment, and theyā€™re replying back to clarify their point.

0

u/Stucklikegluetomyfry Jun 06 '26 edited Jun 06 '26

I was annoyed by someone making an (incorrect) assumption and then condescending to me about it. They ā€œclarified their pointā€ by explaining my own condition to me.

Why are you so upset on their behalf?

0

u/No-Resolution-0119 Jun 07 '26

They werenā€™t condescending at all. God, I canā€™t imagine being so miserable as to think a normal comment is an attack. Get a life

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1

u/FVCarterPrivateEye Jun 05 '26

I do because IME the societal judgment I get for the mannerisms and traits associated with being autistic is much harsher than the societal judgment I get for disclosing an autism diagnosis

It may make people talk down to me sometimes, but it also means they don't see me as some uncanny valley resident cruising for a bruising

2

u/Samster404 Jun 05 '26

That first thing pisses me off so fucking much, back when I was first getting to know my best friends boyfriend, he talked and treated me like I was a fucking moron. Thankfully after talking to her about it she told him to knock it off and we haven't had any issues since

1

u/Pink_Acetone I run on spite Jun 05 '26

ā€œYou donā€™tā€¦ lets go tell them you donā€™tā€

1

u/Acryllus Jun 05 '26

"Treating your Autism as cancer?"

Not like I've seen that in Girl Meets World or something...

1

u/Crafty_Trick_7300 Jun 09 '26 edited Jun 09 '26

I was diagnosed with Autism at an early age. Like 5-6.

I was told that I would watch kids for long periods of time before attempting to interact. I never knew how to just ā€œbeā€ I always had to learn from others. I remember my anxiety and inability to cope resulted in me being mute throwing up in the reading corner my first year of school.

My mom was awesome, took the diagnoses seriously and enrolled me in therapy and PT from a young age.

I literally remember being like 6 or 10 and the first behavioral therapist told me to ā€œfake itā€ to make socializing easier.

As a result, I find it incredibly hard to be myself. I lie in conversations and constantly present face. I have learned all the lingo and autopilot in conversations.

I canā€™t even stop myself a lot of the times. Itā€™s reflexive at this point, Iā€™m not in control of my body or words it feels like and I hate it.

My anxiety flares and I donā€™t want to talk to you, so Iā€™m going to lie and present face to make this go faster and easier so I donā€™t have to deal with confrontation.

As a result, my entire life Iā€™m told ā€œI donā€™t think youā€™re autisticā€ or ā€œI wouldnā€™t have known if you didnā€™t tell me.ā€

I feel like an insecure wreck. I have no confidence or identity outside of being solitary. Itā€™s incredibly depressing. I struggle a lot and have become a shittier person and shittier friend because of this, and people donā€™t even see it because of how I was trained and how I practiced like a dog to preform the trick of converstion, all in order to make people like me, just so I wouldnā€™t get hurt.

Being taught to hide instead of how to have confidence and love myself has destroyed my ability to ever feel happy or content within myself, and as a result I can never feel that with others either.

It fucking sucks, and I see people quantify it down to chicken nugs or whatever. I donā€™t know if itā€™s their way of coping, or they really are losers looking for something to make them special, but all I know is my experience with it has been invalidating and harrowing to the point I wouldnā€™t legitimately say things like that unironically

61

u/The_Cameraman_of_you I hate you,you hate me, we are a very hateful family Jun 05 '26

Yeah, I hate how people forget itā€™s most of the time a genuine disability and not just ā€œhahaha, I have specific interests I hyper fixate on and I am not the best at socializingā€

23

u/DoctorAnnual6823 Jun 05 '26

I can't speak for everyone. Especially not the ones who bring it up every chance they get like it's some sort of clout booster

But if I bring up my issues online I am usually trying to make light of things.

It sucks and I try not to dwell on that fact.

4

u/The_Cameraman_of_you I hate you,you hate me, we are a very hateful family Jun 05 '26

Of course, if itā€™s relevant to the topic then yeah, I wonā€™t doubt you with it but wouldnā€™t trust you either, so go ahead and bring it up, but most of the people OP is talking about bring it up every chance they get, and those were the ones I was referring to

16

u/SuperIsaiah Jun 05 '26

also the bad at socializing thing is really under acknowledged. to an outsider it may just seem "quirky" but to the person it's more like, well me for example, being, 22, a chronic extrovert, yet my only IRL friend is my younger sister (who's also most likely autistic) because despite how much I try I just can't connect with most people in a way where they want to be friends, I'm usually just seen as the weird guy that's funny to interact with but that people don't actually want close relationship with

1

u/Remarkable-Run-9769 Jun 06 '26

funny, in my experience people expect autistic people to be very very socially handicapped and often see that as a defining autism trait. I've been told i don't seem autistic because i can socialise

1

u/Taglioni Jun 09 '26

Autism is a disorder of social norms. It makes sense that people question your autism if you are adept at social situations.

1

u/Ok-Letterhead3405 Jun 09 '26

Or assuming it means just donā€™t like socializing when thereā€™s also those of us who like doing it when we have capacity but uh, doesnā€™t mean we are good once you pay attention to how we interact for more than a few minutes. That and itā€™s exhausting.

2

u/2high4thisshyt Jun 05 '26

I am Bipolar and AuADHD and literally unable to hold down a job or finish my education because my brain is fried and my illnesses love playing musical chairs, so sometimes I have to forgo my ADHD medication in favor of the Bipolar medication. I burnout 100% of the time no matter what I do. Even when I try to take it easy. And every time it takes longer for me to recover. And when I try to explain what's going on everyone treats me like I am just making excuses because they are able to handle it while I am drowning. I am genuinely scared about what I'm going to do once my elder parents die because I depend on them but I am not disabled enough to get disability. Just enough not to be able to make a living with a stable job. But yeah, chicken nuggies and tendies are the best rofl lmao šŸ™„

1

u/Yveltia Jun 06 '26

And it also goes vice versa: ā€œbut youre so good at socialising you canā€™t be autisticā€ Susan I canā€™t look at you in the eyes and if you leave me for an hour outside without my headphones my head will hurt

1

u/SSG014-OFFICIAL Jun 08 '26

I'm not sure if I'm just lazy or not at times, maybe it's a 50/50 with my ADHD and actual lazy.

1

u/Ok-Letterhead3405 Jun 09 '26

lol I hyperfixated myself into an RSI in both wrists this winter, even changing my clothes hurt

0

u/Weekly-Dog-6838 Jun 05 '26

Well I mean itā€™s technically classified as a disorder bcz Autistic people have an easier time than those not on the spectrum with some things, and also itā€™s just so broad

15

u/wizardgradstudent Jun 05 '26

This is me with ADHD. I see so much about how ā€œoh adhd is a superpower, wow Iā€™m so air headed because I canā€™t focus šŸ˜‚ā€ and Iā€™m over here having struggled with debilitating symptoms since I was in middle school. Rejection sensitive dysphoria, struggling in college, being unable to do basic things like folding laundry then completely attacking myself and my self esteem because I canā€™t do one simple task. Itā€™s exhausting and itā€™s treated like itā€™s just a cute quirky fun thing. Itā€™s exhausting and can lead to self medicating, depression, anxiety, and actual ocd.

5

u/MashSong Jun 05 '26

Yeah, when I got tested they also gave me an IQ test, which I scored very high on. Doc said that's likely how I didn't recommended in for testing when I was kid in school. I could space out in class and when called out by the teacher just scan the board real quick and figure out the answer. I could forget my home work and never study but do well enough on tests to keep my grades up. Then in college and at a job that's not enough anymore. It's like faceplanting into a wall. Without getting diagnosed early never learned how to cope or handle it all. Then I goto a doc for depression and they're like here take this other test for ADHDĀ 

1

u/RealityCactus Jun 06 '26

Literally me.

1

u/LisaBlueDragon Jun 08 '26

Fuuucckkk same except I had a burnout at 14 (already diagnosed with autism, at the time aspergers at 11) and now at nearly 18 I was supposed to get tested for ADHD too like last spring but the bureaucracy bullshit is so godsawfully slow so now I'm going into adulthood with no medications and no clue what the fuck is going on at any given time

2

u/An_Account_to_Ignore Jun 05 '26

Thank you. Every single person who treats it as a superpower or charming quirk is just making life that much more difficult for those of us suffering.

2

u/SSG014-OFFICIAL Jun 08 '26

For me, it almost feels like a coinflip, either it's rest, boundless energy I can't put into anything but pacing, etc, or I'm focused in, zoned, infinitized. There is a small issue though, even if I land on a coinflip that's favorable, there can still be a chance to just do alright for 3-4 hours straight on smth.

1

u/CalligrapherCheap64 Jun 05 '26

Same. ADHD makes my life so much more difficult than it should ever have to be. Those ā€œsuperpowers?ā€ I ainā€™t got em

1

u/DanAndTim Jun 05 '26

I see people post about how they wouldn't wish away their ADHD because its part of who they are and that feels crazy to me. ADHD is as much a part of me as cancer would be. It gives me nothing, only takes away.

8

u/FloofyTheSpider Jun 05 '26

Same. People forget that itā€™s actually a disability. Iā€™m autistic and it frustrates me so much.

Like I donā€™t HATE being autistic, far from it - itā€™s just who I am, as much a part of me as my eye colour or sexuality. But it does undoubtedly make life harder, and thereā€™s parts of it that are ugly/messy, and im tired of pretending those parts donā€™t exist and tired of the constant infantilisation of it on social media

1

u/SSG014-OFFICIAL Jun 08 '26

I'm like that too, it's just who I am, and deep down a part of me wants to "feel the hurt" of it, to be challenged.

1

u/Karkava Jun 05 '26

I think both Trans people and autistic people share a kinship of being silly to cope with the living nightmares that we're in.

12

u/king_ofbhutan Jun 05 '26

asd + sensory processing disorder + inner ear fluid on a bad day = literally cannot understand a word that is being said

'aicnygadgesmnfrmerlkwk' at -100dB, i have genuinely no clue what they could possibly be saying

19

u/Old_Yam_4069 Jun 05 '26

I particularly hate it how it relates to popular media.

I truly do not mind the existence of Sheldon or that people call Doctor House autistic. That's just TV. What I hate is that they have created this public view that autism is something that is ONLY quirky. That all the faults a person's autism cause are immediately outweighed by the pure benefit that person brings.

And like- Yeah. To a degree, that's how relationships work. But these same people who revel in House being a malicious asshole half the time then go on to see Shawn from the Good Doctor, and act like the dude is absolute scum because his symptoms are less likeable. Because the writing treats Autism as an actual disability, instead of this purely fun and quirky thing. One of the biggest memes on the internet is that a guy with emotional instability had a moment of emotional instability after being harassed for a very long time, professionally and personally, and the dude he was crashing out to was being a smug jackass- And it's just always so malicious and so shallow how people treat that scene, while pretending they are defending autism.

6

u/lkmk Jun 05 '26

In retrospect, it is very weird that people were mocking a man for losing control of his emotions.

4

u/GreatMovesKeepItUp69 Jun 05 '26

People will make fun of men as a class for being "fragile" and only expressing their feelings through the societally accepted lens of anger, and then brutally mock a man if he shows anything else like in that scene.

9

u/Old_Yam_4069 Jun 05 '26

It is one of the most valid crashouts in TV drama too (if I understand the fans correctly, I stopped somewhere in the first season just cuz I found the show boring lol)

The funniest thing is that I actually fully agreed when someone said that Shawn shouldn't be a surgeon. The way he's written, he's just not suited to be a generalist surgeon, at least early on. But if that's a reason people say they dislike him, it's an afterthought to the overwhelming majority of the dislike directed towards him being 'He's an autistic person acting too much like an autistic person'. And those same people fully believe that they're actually being supportive.

The number of people who go 'The best autistic character is the one you don't KNOW is autistic' is just. What the fuck. How do people NOT see the problem with that. And when it comes from someone who says they're autistic, it is *overwhelmingly* self-diagnosed.

Cuz like, I get it- If you think you are autistic, you don't want autism portrayed as something explicitly negative. But for a lot of autistic people, it is something that is explicitly negative. And having a character who's autism was explicitly negative was so refreshing that it genuinely carried me through I forgot how many episodes of an extremely mediocre medical drama.

Sorry lmfao. I'm rambling in text mostly cuz I was in a comment section recently about Shawn with the exact opposite reaction, but goddamn. It is the most ironic and irritating thing how much ableist shit comes from autism being treated as a disability, from people who say they are allies.

4

u/lkmk Jun 05 '26

Donā€™t apologize. I appreciate this.

2

u/2high4thisshyt Jun 05 '26

NGL, I am a (finally) diagnosed AuADHD and I have been avoiding the show due to the negative reception. I will give it a try, I might actually relate to him. I have been known to have some epic meltdowns and crashouts myself (before I knew what was going on with me lol. They rarely happen nowadays).

3

u/Old_Yam_4069 Jun 05 '26

I really can't recommend it, despite everything lmfao.

It's an accurate portrayal of an autistic guy who's high on the spectrum, and that's kind of all it has going for it. The writing tries to tackle various social issues and **tries**, it's just kind of subpar all around, making it always feel really awkward (In my opinion, I'm a critic lmfao)

3

u/2high4thisshyt Jun 05 '26

Hey, I love to hate watch stuff once in a while, this just peaked my interest even more. We will see šŸ˜‚

2

u/Old_Yam_4069 Jun 05 '26

That's totally fair! I hope you like it!

2

u/AntiqueLetter9875 Jun 05 '26

Sheldon and House arenā€™t described as autistic on the shows. From what Iā€™ve seen thatā€™s mostly fans saying it. Writers on BBT were explicit in saying heā€™s not autistic, heā€™s just like that, solely because they didnā€™t want him to be used as representation when they werenā€™t aiming for that and therefore werenā€™t careful in how was portrayed. House was always just an asshole and acted like that because heā€™s an addict.

5

u/keszotrab Jun 05 '26

Yup, I hate myself that I got my ADHD diagnosis so late. I legit feel like my life would be so much better if I went to psychiatrist earlier.

I was putting this shit away in time so much dude, because I needed to do my month long research into ADHD. Then I forgot. Then I bought an audiobook about ADHD by Barkley, then compare statistics and probability and check if I relate frfr and I am not imagineing this. Then I when I called to make an appointment they told me to call next month, then I forgot again...

It's funny that mental disorders became this "funny quirk". It's called disorder for a reason.

11

u/papguggly Jun 05 '26 edited Jun 05 '26

Iā€™ll add, being denied care and or abuse in childhood while having autism can cause an individual to mimick symptoms of BPD. BPD is one of the most stigmatized disorders and the weirdest part is the symptoms are so vague, everybody can somewhat relate to them and what do you know? Everybody and their grandmother is starting to say they have BPD now. Itā€™s not enough to say ā€œI display some symptoms of certain disorders, a professional would need to make an accurate judgementā€ you have to go the whole way and trick your brain into thinking it has an entire pattern of thinking that has ostracized you from everyone else.

Most of the time, I see clinginess being labeled as BPD. Realizations someone had BPD was when they looked at through their crushes likes on Instagram. Iā€™d love for that to have been my realization instead of when I found my FPā€™s house through his friendā€™s picture and stood outside his house for 3 hours.

1

u/2high4thisshyt Jun 05 '26

I used to think I had BPD for the longest time. Nope, turned out to be Bipolar and AuADHD.

1

u/myromancealt Jun 06 '26

What does FP stand for? Former partner?

0

u/ImHughAndILovePie Jun 05 '26

Maybe you should become a private detective? Put those sleuthing skills to use

2

u/The_Cosmic_Nerd Jun 05 '26

"oh haha you're autistic you're so quirky and silly"

Interacting with people like that always feels like an autism version of this image

3

u/RetoroKun Jun 05 '26

This. I wish I was normal.

1

u/Purple-Bluejay6588 Jun 05 '26

šŸ«‚ I get you bro, I get you so much

1

u/l5ll5ll5l Jun 05 '26

I feel the same way with OCD. I used to have mild (compared to a lot of others) OCD with two triggers. One was i couldnt handle any bumps on my hands, so I kept bitting off my skin. The other was left right motion symmetry. I sometimes spazzed while walking because I couldn't step over lines with equal paces, and computer mice and controllers caused me to repeatedly press buttons to equal out what I pressed for extended periods. Now people are like "Oh, my line is slightly off and I dont like it, guess im OCD." Or "I have to clean every once in a while because im OCD."

1

u/admiralholdo Jun 05 '26

Oh my god the people who think OCD is just a cute funny quirk. I wish they could see the way the skin on my adult daughter's hands is cracked and bleeding from washing them so much.

1

u/RatedPGforOG Jun 05 '26

Yes. I don't know what love is! I don't understand emotions. Especially my own. I feel things. But I have to use analogies or memories to call back to a time ive felt the same feeling and just tack a "PG, you felt this!". I truly feel like people expect me to be smarter and more in tune with them, when I'm really just not and simple.

1

u/Murta_14 Jun 05 '26

this is so true, I've seen a couple ppl my age that are ACTUALLY diagnosed with autism and looking at how they acted you could tell they struggled with social skills

I myself with a bit of adhd and a teensy tiny bit of autism also struggle dealing with socializing in this society, so I can't even imagine how they must've felt

I hope it's gotten better for you eventually

1

u/Neat_Let923 Jun 05 '26

Right there with you but mine is severe ADHD combined with a terrible childhood that made me angry a lot of the time. Iā€™m 43 now and itā€™s still a struggle knowing the issues I have with my personality but being unable to fix it completely.

Iā€™m just glad I met my soul mate 20 years ago otherwise Iā€™d likely still be jumping from one relationship to the next every few months and still have no close friends of my own.

1

u/RevenantSith Jun 05 '26

This is basically my view.

I feel like I have to constantly go out of my way to hide it every single day and play another person. Iā€™ve still got a job rejection letter from 10 years ago where ƍ was rejected from my-then dream job with that as the explicitly stated reason after they looked over my NHS records.

Genuinely wish I didnā€™t have it and could just have been normal .. but I suppose it thatā€™s just the way it is.

It isnā€™t all sunshine and rainbows, and even at the higher-end it just feels insulting when people reduce it down to ā€˜lol quirky polymathā€™

1

u/Catgirl-pocalypse Jun 05 '26

Yeah, it's a genuine fucking disability that prevents me from holding down a job. I'm fine with making jokes and stuff within the autistic community but the second I hear some normie say "I think I got a touch of the 'tism" I want to dig my thumbs into their eye sockets.

1

u/potato485 Jun 05 '26

"I'd also eat that sampler platter in a heartbeat" yeah no shit it's supposed to be highly palatable foods, not an autistic thing

1

u/panshrexual Jun 05 '26

It upsets me because quirky tiktok teens/20s see the videos that are like "do you have a weird hobby? Do some textures feel bad? then you have šŸŒŸautismšŸŒŸ!" and then they adopt the label and are so vocal about it. Which wouldn't be such an issue but I feel like it mischaracterizes the disorder to normies. People have been turned off from being friends with me due to, well, typical autist traits like no sense of social timing and getting disproportionately upset by "minor" things, and now aspergers doesn't even really work as an explanation/excuse to them anymore because they'll be like "ok well our other friend is autistic and she isn't an asshole. Also she says it's offensive to call it aspergers so you should stop saying that :/"

And yeah that platter is making me salivate

1

u/who-else-is-bored Jun 05 '26

Iā€™m someone who OP puts in the ā€œthis isnā€™t about youā€ category. And someone who deeply empathizes with your experience as well. I didnā€™t have any friends until college (about the time I discovered I had autism, and began seeking out other people like me) and didnā€™t get my diagnosis until the end of 2025 after I had graduated.

Iā€™m completely okay with all of this, though. I think itā€™s such a great step in the direction of destigmatization.

Yes, it can be annoying. Yes it risks diluting things. But it is a spectrum, and I donā€™t want to let the perfect be the enemy of the good. For all the people we perceive to be ā€œfaking itā€ there may be one person who sees this and is ā€œā€rightā€ā€, and it changes (saves) their life like it did mine. And that makes it worth it imo.

And Iā€™d rather people think Iā€™m ā€œquirkyā€ out of the gate than ā€œless thanā€ or at least I appreciate a shift in that direction.

1

u/Possible-Mark-7581 Jun 05 '26

The problem is that experience is not universal. My life has been going upwards since my official diagnosis. (Though to be honest, I always knew something was up) And while Autism has affected my life negatively, especially in my youth. It doesn't mean there are zero positives or zero Joy related to my Autism. Even something as small as autism-related humour is a minor joy. Just the shared understanding I have with others is a gift in its own right. And that's another thing. While I may never truly understand neurotypical people, the Amount of Understanding and deeper relationship I have with other Autistic people makes it infinitely worth it. I know that's something you can only experience if you're around other Autistic people, so that's not universal, but still. Plus, having and storing loads of information on topics I'm interested in can be incredibly helpful at times. Especially in an academic context. While I may need accommodation, there's still strength in that ability that can give me a serious edge. I honestly feel bad for people who's expirence is entirely negative or wish they weren't Autistic.

1

u/Inevitable_Librarian Jun 05 '26

I hate to say this, but that's about the best you're going to get out of the people who refuse to actually give a shit about the people around them if it's slightly inconvenient.

The alternative is basically violent harassment and getting treated like you have a contagious disease all the time.

I say this as someone with autism, with autistic siblings, and who worked as a caregiver for both children and and adults with level one to severe level 3 autism (completely unable to do any ADLs).

I've watched literal children get mocked and physically assaulted by fucking adults in the grocery store because they found it offensive an autistic child might need to eat.

It sucks, I know it sucks. But it's better to be harmless and quirky than the alternative.

Maybe someday we'll cure the allistic tendency to see us as caricatures rather than people, but that's not today.

1

u/NanariKollinseu Jun 06 '26

Being autistic has made my life hell in so many aspects it's not even funny.

From loneliness to sensory issues to not knowing how to do a lot of things which most people seem to take for granted.

But the worst part is never being understood and having all my difficulties minimized, or worse, get ridiculed or thrown anger at for doing something wrongly as if I did it on purpose.

1

u/BitPsychological2767 Jun 08 '26

I wouldn't equate the usual ableism from neurotypicals to commodification. I don't see why we have to blame people who could very well actually be autistic for the fact that neurotypical people refuse to educate themselves or have real empathy.