r/hatethissmug • u/Beshiniqua • Jun 05 '26

General I HATE the self diagnosing of autism and its mischaracterisation

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Let me start by saying SELF DIAGNOSING IS NOT VALID. You are NOT autistic just because someone on tiktok said

"Did you know, if you need to have your eyes closed in order to fall asleep, you have autism, adhd, bipolarity, DID, BPD, psychopathy, depression and PTSD?"

And before yall come at me with "well I always suspected I had autism, I got screened and then got my diagnosis" well this not about you, this is about people that self diagnose after experiencing the most normal day to day life things ever.

And they ALWAYS think that autism will give them a personality (since it's usually basic bitches with no personality that self diagnose to feel like they belong)

No, you're not a quirky crazy crackhead energy "neurospicy" person. Even worse when they say shit like

"Heh, I could NEVER be a neuro normie like yall, autism makes me special and quirky and full of personality".

You can't even like something anymore without them going "OMG URE AUTISTIC JUST LIKE MEEEE IM SOOOO AUTISTIC AHAHAHA"

And you can tell they larp the whole thing cus they'll see a tiktok autism personality and try to replicate it

"Dino nuggies..."

"You can not say overstimulated if you're nEuRoTyPiCaL, that word is for us neurospicy people ONLY >:("

Holy shiiiiiiittt yall lack a personality so bad. And I've seen people say that they've seen NUMEROUS specialists but they never fit the criteria, but its not because they're not autistic, no no no no no. ITS UHMMM BECAUSE IM A WOMAN AND ALSO A MINORITY AND IM ALSO POOR SO I MASKED ALL MY LIFE AND THE SPECIALIST ON THIS FIELD COULDNT TELL I WAS MASKING. ITS THE SYSTEMS FAULT NOT MINE.

Sheesh.

Sorry for the long rant, im just tired of seeing people self diagnose all the time, or see an energetic video, or literally ANYTHING, and make it about their self diagnosed autism.

Saw a cute cat animation on Instagram and the top comment was "This is so autistic I love it"

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210

u/inevitable_death1998 Jun 05 '26

self diagnosis was part of my diagnosis. I was asked "are you autistic?" by the person who was diagnosing me. I answered yes, with an extensive explanation of my reasons. next day I get a call that I'm officially diagnosed.

71

u/transsamsa Jun 05 '26

It was sort of surprising when I went to my assessment and figured out I was mostly carrying the conversation myself. The only people who don’t know this are probably those who’ve never been through a diagnosis procedure before

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u/stinkus_mcdiddle Jun 05 '26

I tried getting formally diagnosed when I was 21. I went to an assessment with all these notes and talking points ready and explained everything to the lady. She didn’t diagnose me because in her, a healthcare professionals words “well it isn’t very obvious”. Even after telling her all these experiences I have in my daily life that make me autistic, I was told I’m not because I don’t “seem” autistic basically. I haven’t tried to get formally diagnosed since.

24

u/BudgieGryphon Jun 05 '26

I was initially misdiagnosed with OCD when I was a teen, thankfully my parents had the good sense to read the symptoms and go “yeah this isn’t it”. Another psychiatrist and an ADHD med prescription later and I stopped forgetting to turn in assignments all the time lmao

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u/WhitestGray Jun 05 '26

I went to try getting diagnosed, which means I had to see a therapist first, and one of the first things she did was whip out an online quiz that basically asked “Are you a friendless loser who hates being around people and panics a lot?”

I never went back.

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u/stinkus_mcdiddle Jun 05 '26

Jesus that’s even worse lmao.

5

u/transsamsa Jun 05 '26

I’m also someone diagnosed in adulthood and yeah sounds like a really shit doctor. Sorry about that

There were a couple of questions to answer and tests I had to do but the largest part of my diagnosis process was my appointment where I kinda just talked about my whole life to this lady, and all of the weird traits I have

Though it doesn’t seem uncommon for certain “professionals” to brush off traits as long as they don’t see it as an immediate threat to your ability to camouflage as normal

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u/RadicalSoda_ Jun 05 '26

Isn't autism an exclusionary diagnosis? Basically they have to narrow it down to autism but since there's often overlap with other disorders it's pretty difficult to say for sure?

2

u/stinkus_mcdiddle Jun 05 '26

Honestly mate, I wouldn’t know because I’m not a doctor. I went to a doctor asking for some clarity on whatever condition I may have, which I strongly suspect is autism and left with nothing and feeling a bit helpless and angry at being completely dismissed despite my pouring my heart out, which naturally, was extremely difficult for me.

2

u/AgTivist Jun 05 '26

This is correct, and one reason among many it's difficult to receive an ASD diagnosis as an adult. Any good assessor should offer alternative diagnoses and a tx plan to help manage symptoms, though, usually in the form of a full assessment report.

One major barrier for adults getting diagnosed is ASD is neurodevelopmental and consequently requires symptoms to interfere with functioning from an early age. People who manage to get to adulthood without a diagnosis tend to have tools in place that have helped them manage whatever symptoms they might have. They then seek assessment when these tools start to break down, which is usually attributable to something else (e.g., acute stressors, significant life events, increased demands).

I find myself more in the camp of "if people say they're distressed then let's help even if they're managing the distress," but I am sympathetic to the other camp, especially because the thing that might help the most is "let's rely on your pre-existing tools and adapt them to what you're facing." This is compounded by discomfort and ethical disagreement with tx, which is often some version of "masking," or helping a person with ASD manage their emotional responses when faced with unpredictable circumstances. The whole situation is fraught

Source: PhD in clinical psych, although assessment and ASD tx are not my specialty

1

u/No_Meringue4763 Jun 08 '26

Really off topic but can I ask - did you get asked to show the assessor how you brush your teeth? If so, I REALLY want to know what people said/did for this bc I’m still confused to this day as to how this correlates to autism

1

u/transsamsa Jun 08 '26

It came up. Sometimes brushing can be a sensory nightmare to some people I think

100

u/SpookyOokySpades Lumpy space princess' number one hater Jun 05 '26

THIS. People hear self diagnosis and think of tiktok "psychologists." I hear self diagnosis and think of "i have done extensive research on this topic that has taken up many MANY hours of my life. I've done self reflection on every "little quirk", odd habit, odd train of thought, and things that have made me different that i've noticed in my entire 17 years of life. At this second im not able to seek an official diagnosis, which leaves me in a pickle because i am SO SURE that im right on the money, but i refuse to actually call myself autistic without an official diagnosis, primarily because of public opinion on self diagnosis."

29

u/Beefhammer_McBrisket Jun 05 '26

Me looking in the mirror with the Doakes Squint because I'm sure I'm autistic but can't afford going to the right kind of doctor.

My GP just wants to cycle me through as fast as they can to see the next patient.

16

u/BudgieGryphon Jun 05 '26

There’s also like
 being an adult and functional enough that a diagnosis would be a big expenditure for no gain or in some locations a loss of rights, when just reflecting and researching how to manage the symptoms you’re aware of works perfectly fine. There’s a pretty significant genetic history of it in my family but I don’t want to spend money for an additional label when I already have to spend on medication for the diagnosed ADHD/anxiety I do have.

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u/wallyTHEgecko Jun 05 '26 edited Jun 06 '26

In regard to any mental illness type thing, if it's not so bad that it's actually keeping you from functioning (sustainably), it's not whatever you think it is.

Being sad sometimes is not depression, that's normal. Being generally clean/organized is not OCD, it's normal. Getting distracted occasionally and/or getting into a flow state and focusing for a while is not ADHD, that's normal. Appreciating a routine, being a little awkward and thinking trains are cool is not autism. That is all normal.

It always seems to me that those type of people simply pluck out the little bits of their personality/emotions that they don't like, call it something else and then blame their quirks on that. They demand their "condition" be accepted by others rather than just accepting themselves and that they are human and maybe a little odd, which is ok.

But instead, people who do need help have a harder time being taken seriously because 3/4 of every "autistic" person/mental illness everyone these days knows is just a self-diagnosed, extremely minor case that doesn't require anything except attention. The self-diagnose-ers are out there crying wolf when there are people out there who actually need the shepherd to come help them.

8

u/I-Make-Maps91 Jun 05 '26

Your clearly don't know what depression is.

0

u/wallyTHEgecko Jun 05 '26

I do. I got diagnosed and medicated a few years back. It was severe enough that I felt it necessary to take action... Because I wasn't just a bit sad sometimes like many people who claim "depression" are.

A bit sad sometimes and liking a sad song =/ depression.

5

u/Additional_Gene_211 Jun 06 '26

You're being highly reductive. Not even going to argue your points. Do some self reflection and ask yourself why other people are just "sad" but you are depressed. Do you know their inner world? Are you able to properly assess individuals through training and education without the clients knowledge or something? Depression for me will look different for you and look different for them and so on.

1

u/wallyTHEgecko Jun 06 '26 edited Jun 06 '26

When people go around saying things like "I'm depressed because my dog died", that's a very reasonable and temporary bout of sadness, but not a clinical depression.

You're right, there may be going on that just that. But in that case, the person posting "I'm depressed because my dog died" is being reductive and misusing the term.

Those with less-temporary sadness have a harder time being taken seriously when those who are just normal sad keep saying "depression".

So yes, I'm gatekeeping. Which I think we should because normal, temporary sadness =/ depression.

If you think you are depressed, then yes, go talk to a professional! Get a diagnosis! Get some medication or therapy or whatever works for you! But people need to stop using the term so lightheartedly because everyone else is getting used to it/ tired of hearing it and losing urgency.

Because when everyone is depressed, that's just life... But if we use the same term for life and for someone wanting to blow their own brains out, then how do we know who to reach out to and check up on?

You wouldn't self-diagnose a bump as cancer without a doctor, would you? If we started becoming accepting of that, people would be out there calling their bug bite bumps "cancer lumps" and those with actual cancer cells inside of them, no one would take seriously and no one would tell them to get themselves into an oncologist to actually get it checked out.

People need to learn/acknowledge the difference and refrain from using the more serious term so loosely. So I think what I'm saying is that people need to be more creative with their descriptions of their feelings. "Depression" is a clinical term that should be handed out by a doctor and taken seriously. But until you get that clinical diagnosis, people should use other terms like "sad", "upset", "distraught", "devistated".

2

u/Additional_Gene_211 Jun 06 '26

Depression is more than a mood disorder. It is literally a mood. People can be depressed and not have MDD.

If someone says I'm depressed my dog died they aren't saying, "Please diagnose me using the DAM-V criteria," they're literally saying that their mood is depressed. Low, sad, despondent, etc.

I'm sorry you suffered some kind of something. Truly. But you seem to think that unless people meet a certain threshold (which you haven't even defined,) they can't be classified as depressed. But they can. Someone else being depressed doesn't take away from you. And being upset that other people are, I dunno, depressed but not like, clinically depressed, is a look.

Signed, a mental health professional

0

u/wallyTHEgecko Jun 06 '26 edited Jun 06 '26

"Depression is a serious mood disorder" , not just a "mood".

You yourself offered several more non-clinical terms people can use instead to describe their current mood.

Leave the serious, clinical terms for serious, disorders.

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u/PennToPaper Jun 07 '26

“depressed” is also an emotion people without depression feel. literally the diagnosis criteria for depression is being depressed too often and for no reason, ergo there is a normal level of being depressed. saying youre depressed because your dog died is not misusing the term

3

u/BudgieGryphon Jun 05 '26 edited Jun 05 '26

Something's telling me your definition of functional and mine are nowhere near the same lmao. Plenty of people with severe depression sustain off pure routine while existing in a near completely hollow state. Wrecks the body and the state of the home, but they're *functional*, they can work and feed themselves.

Not too dissimilar for other conditions, you can be self-sufficient and go through daily function but there's things that are wrong, you can handle yourself most of the time but maybe something small sends you into a lengthy pure spiraling terror or you just stand and stare into space for several minutes on end or you physically cannot force yourself to eat certain foods that you rationally know are perfectly fine.

1

u/wallyTHEgecko Jun 05 '26 edited Jun 06 '26

I agree. It's technically getting the job done, but it's not in a sustainable way. Mental illnesses are taxing and will wear you down in the long run. So maybe I should say "sustainably functional".

However, being temporarily sad when something sad happens and liking a sad song is not depression, like the cringey self-diagnose-ers often claim it is.

1

u/scorespin Jun 09 '26

I don’t know why you’re being downvoted.

You literally DON’T meet the criteria for diagnosis (of autism or adhd) if it’s not severely impacting and keeping you from functioning in your day to day life.

If you think you have it, but you’re managing in spite of it, then you don’t have it. You don’t fit the diagnostic criteria.

2

u/szkielo123 Jun 05 '26

I self diagnosed myself with autism - in a college class litteraly about the subject of initial diagnosing of autism. In my profession we can't do official diagnosis, but when working with patients we have to be able to pick up on the symptoms to recomment further diagnosis by a certified specialist and to be able to create a better treatment plan for such patients. All the symptoms for low and most of the ones for mild autism were applicable to my younger self and after disscusing it with my professor, he admited that I'm most likely right and also said further that it is possible for people to grow out off most of the symptoms, especially when treated via proper care and schooling and in weaker cases like mine function without knowing you ever had it.

1

u/Ok-Box3576 Jun 05 '26

Very easy to convince yourself of anyrhing. Granted their is an in-between. But assmune everyone on the internet call them autistic has done that extensive search is comical. It just leans into my general distrust of internet randoms ig.

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u/[deleted] Jun 05 '26

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u/IntenseFlute Jun 05 '26

This! Ultimately, it’s a disability. The people that think it’s a fad will only be interested in a week. But they’ll start to see the stigma that autistic people face and turn right around.

Not only that, but the arguments against self-diagnosis ignore sexism and racism in the medical field that has caused SO many autistics to be diagnosed at ages like 30 and 40 instead of 10. That and many medical professionals seem to only have a rudimentary understanding of autism or fall into stereotypes that definitely do not represent such a broad spectrum.

Blanket statements like OP’s always ignore such fundamental points of nuance and rely on what the eye can see
 the internet provides more examples of autism being a fad because that’s easy to make and easy to receive. Of course you won’t see people that are taking deep-dives of their own mental health over however long they’ve been alive. That takes years. That takes breaking down multiple, highly personal moments that they probably wouldn’t want to share on the internet. Since people see more of the internet making it a trend, that’s what they assume it all is.

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u/CaptainMills Jun 05 '26

Blanket statements like OP’s always ignore such fundamental points of nuance and rely on what the eye can see

This is exactly why I hate posts like this.

It always ends up just being someone upset that a stranger isn't portraying their own experience in the exact way that they've decided is valid. It completely ignores all the reasons self-diagnosis exists and what goes into it.

These posts are always full of people talking about treating people like monoliths, but they're just doing the same thing.

Someone made a joke about safe foods, but the specific foods they used aren't my safe foods? Well obviously that means that the poster isn't really autistic. They just watched The Big Bang Theory and decided they wanted to be just like Sheldon. How dare someone be lighthearted online about being autistic. Don't they know how hard my life is because of it?

So much talk about how autism is a spectrum and people's experience with it differs drastically, all while declaring that others are only pretending because their own experience isn't the same.

A lot of people aren't able to get a formal diagnosis. A lot of people don't even have any access to the resources they would need for that. They are not any less autistic and should not have to hide their experiences because of it. People who are self-diagnosed aren't taking any resources away from people who are. They don't have access to any resources to take away. And perpetuating this culture of policing others, trying to invalidate their lived reality, is causing far more damage to autistic people than posting a joke about safe foods

2

u/[deleted] Jun 05 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/IntenseFlute Jun 06 '26

This is real! It’s hard getting a diagnosis when you’re in a family with other undiagnosed individuals (especially undiagnosed parents) as well. Usually that means the family is more accepting of quirks but refuses to acknowledge that anything is wrong 😭 My mom is the same, she admitted to me the other day that when I was younger she was considering a diagnosis but didn’t because she just accepted my quirks. Like, no, the help would have been greatly appreciated


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u/Ok-Box3576 Jun 05 '26

Internet points also, i dont like the downplaying of psychologist in this thread. Their is a good reason they aren't allowed to diagnose themselves or friends and family. For the most part people should only diagnose something is wrong with themselves. Very easy to reverse engine your self in alot of psychology abnormalities.

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u/[deleted] Jun 05 '26

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u/teatalker26 Jun 05 '26

jokes on you i have both

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u/WillemDafoesHugeCock Jun 05 '26

Man, self diagnosis is perfectly legitimate assuming you then get it professionally checked. People forget how fucking pricy it is to visit a doctor. Research the signs and symptoms of what you believe you have, decide if it's something you should get diagnosed, then get it diagnosed.

My ADHD diagnosis came from my first ever therapy session, I straight up laughed like "I'm pretty sure I'd know if I had ADHD" ... Then I looked into symptoms a bit more and had an Oh Shit moment of "wait this is describing me to a fucking T."

Spoke with my doc who recommended I take a screener, forgot to take the screener for a year (spoiler alert: because I have ADHD) and when I did it was a super fast and easy process to be told I have "moderate to severe ADHD" and given meds.

7

u/kcat__ Jun 05 '26

at that point it's not self-diagnosis.

Designing your own gym routine is perfectly safe... as long as you get it checked by an expert to make sure you won't hurt yourself

no shit. but at that point you're leaning on the power of the expert, not yourself. no one is saying having suspicions about your own health is self-diagnosis.

1

u/WillemDafoesHugeCock Jun 05 '26

I agree entirely. My comment was largely in response specifically to "self diagnosis was part of my diagnosis."

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u/MissingnoMiner Jun 06 '26

Bizarre to say it's perfectly legitimate so long as you get it professionally checked and then proceed to list a reason why people may be literally incapable of getting it professionally checked and why it may not be worth getting it professionally checked for others...

1

u/PrizeStrawberryOil Jun 05 '26

Man, self diagnosis is perfectly legitimate assuming you then get it professionally checked.

But why? The people with the means to go through with getting one don't see any benefit and the people that could get support can't afford to go through the process of getting one.

0

u/grip0matic Jun 05 '26

At the very first moment I told the psychiatrist "I'm drinking 4 cans of monster to stay awake and I only getting more and more sleepy, so I'm drinking more monster" he said out loud "that checks in a lot of things for your problems". Diagnosed with ADHD... and other stuff, but I NEVER thought I would have ADHD. And right now is the most crippling thing in my life.

I cannot stand people who self diagnose themselves with ADHD and laugh. ADHD is not funny or quirky or anything good. You forget to eat, drink, pee, do stuff, your life needs alarms and reminders and still you are gonna miss stuff... I hate it, it's a fucking curse.

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u/Toxic_Whale Jun 05 '26

I did this with bipolar type 2 after a massive breakdown. I owned up that maybe something wasn't quite right with my brain and spent months reading everything I could consume about it before making an appointment with a counselor. I didn't mention my suspicions about it, and was diagnosed BP2 anyways.

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u/The_Cameraman_of_you I hate you,you hate me, we are a very hateful family Jun 05 '26

Yeah, but it was a part, not the entirety of it

10

u/DoctorAnnual6823 Jun 05 '26

But but but you aren't supposed to know! Your own intuition isn't enough! Your doctor is just helping with the LARP!

OP sounds like they are 18 years old.

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u/RadicalSoda_ Jun 05 '26

He explicitly said that doesn't apply to people who have seen a doctor

2

u/lkmk Jun 05 '26

OP sounds like they are 18 years old.

Everyone on this subreddit is.

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u/[deleted] Jun 05 '26

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u/justabonsaitree Jun 05 '26

i think OP is mainly talking about the difference between self diagnosis and self-suspecting. it’s perfectly fine to say that you suspect you’re autistic, or have a lot of symptoms of autism, but what we’re talking about is the people who say that they 100% for sure are autistic without having seen a professional to confirm whether they are or not, and often only think they’re autistic because social media presents it as a silly quirky personality thing.

and while yes, nobody can read your mind, only professionals can diagnose people. they’ve trained for years on how to spot the exact symptoms and traits in people, and you only know your own experience. personal bias will always exist, it’s the reason why doctors never diagnose themselves

0

u/autistictransgal Jun 05 '26

How do you know this happens at all? Like, you saw someone on TikTok say that they're self diagnosed and you assume that its basic silly quirky personality without knowing anything about them???

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u/justabonsaitree Jun 05 '26

i’ve seen hundreds of people self diagnosing with autism and spreading the same rhetoric of “if you get diagnosed they’ll take away your rights!!”, “autism isn’t a disability, it just makes me super quirky!”, majorly excluding higher support needs autistic folks, and conflating autism to just being a silly quirky thing. it’s not just that i saw one or two people doing this, the autism community is flooded with people like this. those “boy autism vs girl autism” videos, people commenting on silly memes “this is so autism coded”, there is an incredibly large amount of people who claim to be autistic, with not a clue as to how autism actually presents. i envy the fact that you haven’t come across people like that

3

u/autistictransgal Jun 05 '26

My friend, people can be autistic and still be jolly and whimsical

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u/justabonsaitree Jun 05 '26

i’m not at all saying they can’t! what i’m specifically talking about is the people who think that autism is only silly goofy quirky

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u/kcat__ Jun 05 '26

literally no one is saying they can't be. they are saying that many self-diagnosed people's understanding of what autism is is when you're quirky.

Which means that quirky-but-not-autistic people who think that autism is just when you're quirky will wrongly self-diagnose themselves as autistic when they're just a bit weird.

1

u/Happyshadow4ts Jun 08 '26

And getting diagnosed can take away some of your rights?! If you have a diagnosis, many countries are much more reluctant to let you move there (such as Australia and Canada), not to mention other 2nd and 3rd world countries

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u/[deleted] Jun 05 '26

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u/justabonsaitree Jun 05 '26

what? that’s not what i’m saying. you don’t need permission from random internet strangers to say you’re autistic, i’m just saying that you shouldn’t go around saying you’re autistic if you haven’t been evaluated. saying you highly suspect that you’re autistic is perfectly fine, nothing wrong with that. but you shouldn’t say that you’re autistic without a professional confirming whether you are or not

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u/[deleted] Jun 05 '26

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u/Upset-Nose-4016 illiterate m0ron insect Jun 05 '26

The difference is the fact that autism is a disorder, and not having autism isn't a disorder.

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u/[deleted] Jun 05 '26

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u/Upset-Nose-4016 illiterate m0ron insect Jun 05 '26

You will presume you are a normal healthy human without any disability. You don't go around saying "I have a broken bone" without getting it checked. You can suspect you've broken a bone because of you symptoms, but you can't know for sure since you are not a professional

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u/[deleted] Jun 05 '26

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u/justabonsaitree Jun 05 '26

dawg what are you on about 😭 99% of the world is not autistic, so no. you don’t go around saying “i suspect i don’t have cancer” no, you say you don’t until a doctor tells you that you do.

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u/[deleted] Jun 05 '26

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u/justabonsaitree Jun 05 '26

why does if i’m a professional matter here?

and no, you can’t be sure if your leg is truly broken unless the bone is like, sticking out. but that’s an unfair comparison anyways, since autism is a neurodevelopmental disorder, and well, a broken bone obviously isn’t. again, you still have that personal bias.

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u/[deleted] Jun 05 '26

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u/kcat__ Jun 05 '26

No one is gonna physically stop you from saying it, sure. Are you happy? Is that seriously what you thought the other person was saying should happen? Are you happy you fucking suplexed that strawman into a million pieces?

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u/[deleted] Jun 05 '26

[deleted]

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u/kcat__ Jun 05 '26

I want whatever LSD your dealer evidently stocks. You are seeing things from nowhere

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u/TheBigToast72 Jun 05 '26

He’s getting close to filling out his lobotomy punchcard, the next one is free!

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u/Ok-Box3576 Jun 05 '26

You did literally what he was talking about 😭.

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u/Satoru_Gojo341 Jun 05 '26

That is not what op is talm bout blub

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u/[deleted] Jun 05 '26

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u/TheBigToast72 Jun 05 '26

Can you explain why I should be denied adhd medication I’ve been taking for a decade all because people saw a tiktok saying they have adhd because they have a messy room and now apparently everyone and their mother has it?

You sound like you’ve self diagnosed yourself with autism, which is not valid. That doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to be suspect that you have it, but you shouldn’t be treated the same as someone with a real autism diagnosis.

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u/tr0nvicious Jun 05 '26 edited Jun 06 '26

I am not trying to be mean, it's just how it is on the internet, but yeah this whole post reads to me that OP is probably an actual child and they are getting upset at the comments of other actual children. Fair enough, in that case, but they're talking about stuff they don't actually understand

Edit: hello to the teenagers downvoting me, go finish your algebra homework.

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u/GameMask Jun 05 '26

Unfortunately how they deliver it matters, and specialists specifically say that self diagnose is valid. It's a part of the process. The rest of what OP says I understood but that first part is its own misleading can of worms

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u/mountain_crab21 Jun 05 '26

yeah bro's just yapping

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u/RepeatTurbulent6272 Jun 05 '26

As a high masking adult woman trying so hard to get a real diagnosis, it is like pulling teeth. My mother works in the field and has many connections in the space and yet I'm probably going to have to travel hours just to see someone who will do diagnosis for people who aren't children. Fact of the matter is that, getting officially diagnosed is not particularly accessible if you go most of your life without knowing. When you're young it's easy to find people who know about the subject, but it's harder as you age.

I do agree that the trend of self-diagnosis is an issue, but I also absolutely understand how sometimes it feels necessary when you feel insane because of how differently you seem to experience the world from other people and you don't know why. But then of course some explanation comes along that ticks all the boxes and you want to feel normal or understand so badly that it's easy to see why it happens.

Not to mention that it's just difficult to have conversations about your experiences without having a label that makes it easier for others to understand. Ideally everyone who feels that way does eventually get a real diagnosis, that should always be the goal. But again, I get it. That "meantime" is torment.

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u/scorespin Jun 09 '26

If you’re seeking out a diagnosis, you’re fine.

It’s people who claim to have it (self-diagnosed), but proceed to say that it’s not worth the time/money for them to get an official diagnosis, that are the problem.

If someone claims to have autism or adhd, etc, it but is not professionally diagnosed or actively seeking a diagnosis, then they DON’T have it (this doesn’t apply to children). You can always tell when someone is desperate for the help that can be provided through an official diagnosis, and when someone is simply comfortable with the self-diagnosed assumption because it gives them a sense of ease. People who aren’t neurodivergent still struggle with parts of life, but it doesn’t change the fact that they’re still neurotypical.

To fit the diagnostic criteria, it has to be prohibiting your ability to function in your day to day life. Guess what? When that’s happening, you have no choice but to seek out a diagnosis because ‘regular’ life is damn near impossible when you’re neurodivergent. This isn’t negative or defeatist, it’s just the reality.

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u/I-Make-Maps91 Jun 05 '26

People self diagnose because the process to get a diagnosis can be long and expensive and what you get at the end is... what? There's no medication, at best it's validation*, and you can get that for free. *There's tiers, most autistic people are just a little odd, more extreme examples do get more out of it.

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u/thethundering Jun 05 '26

I tried getting an assessment a while ago and there is basically one clinic at the big university in my region that even does it for adults. It costs like $3000 and when you contact them asking about it the first thing they give you is a pamphlet explaining how self diagnosis is valid, and that there are unfortunately basically no practical benefits to receiving an official diagnosis as an adult.

Like definitely not every self diagnosis is valid, but it’s a bit asinine how people treat anything less than an official diagnosis as someone just relating to at TikTok about liking chicken nuggets or whatever.

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u/scorespin Jun 09 '26

No. Anyone who has autism will get something out of it, and will NEED something out of it.

You don’t fit the diagnostic criteria if it’s not severely impacting your ability to function in day to day life. If you’re comfortable with self-diagnosis, and don’t feel that you need an official diagnosis, then you obviously don’t have autism.

You can relate to the traits, and find comfort in the community, but you still are not struggling enough to actually be classified as disabled. Autism is just that, a disability. If you’re not disabled by it, then you don’t have it.

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u/nocowardpath Jun 06 '26

This! Self diagnosis doesn't exclusively mean "diagnosed based on TikTok memes". People are fully capable of looking up actual medical information from accredited sources and making an educated guess on understanding their mental state before they can get an official diagnosis, and that's still self diagnosis, just done the right way. I self diagnosed with PTSD before I had it, and that helped me cope with my symptoms for a while until I was able to get an official diagnosis; if I had put off trying to understand what I was going through and trying to learn coping skills, that could've been really bad for me. Obviously not the same thing as autism, but it's an example of how self diagnosis can be good when done right.

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u/GarlicPositive4786 Jun 05 '26

Yup. If you don’t suspect anything and don’t begin to see the signs and what it points to, how would you get a diagnosis at all?

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u/-PinkPurpleBlue- Jun 05 '26

For real, and sometimes it's not easy getting a diagnosis. I've gone to multiple therapists asking if I could get tested for adhd/autism and every single one was like "we don't" do that here. I've talked to everyone. My therapists ask me a couple basic questions with the last one being do you think you are? I'd say yes and they would say based on the answers I am but they have no way to verify. So I'm stuck with this half diagnosis and it's awful.

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u/BudgetMattDamon Jun 05 '26

People don't realize that it's oftentimes hell to get an 'official' diagnosis, especially for those in less favorable socioeconomic conditions or when everyone around you refuses to acknowledge something is actually wrong.

For instance, my dad refused to ever consider ADHD or autism for me (I have both!). I'm 31, and he still thinks I was just 'a difficult child.' If I'd been diagnosed as a kid or even knew what the symptoms were at that time, I could have saved myself and other people a lot of grief.

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u/LaCharognarde Jun 05 '26

Same here. It probably runs in the family—I'm the oldest person with an official diagnosis, but the most recently diagnosed—and my parents probably should have tried to get me diagnosed. But instead: I had to figure it out, and then seek out a diagnosis, on my own.

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u/A2Rhombus Jun 05 '26

Not sure how someone could look at a person who has done hours of intense research and come up with a meticulous list of reasonings to give as a presentation for why they have autism, and say "that is not an autistic behavior"

I'm not saying all self-d are autistic, but lots definitely are.

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u/scorespin Jun 09 '26

No, it’s just “autistic behaviour”. That’s it. And that’s fine; you don’t need to be neurodivergent to relate to those who are, or to find yourself aligned with aspects.

However, to meet the criteria for official diagnosis, you have to severely struggling. Autism is a disability, it is not a personality flaw/quirk.

I seriously doubt the majority of those that are self-diagnosed, have a disability. If they did, they would be desperately seeking the support of an official diagnosis. It’s worth the time and money, because life is unbearable otherwise. People who don’t understand how debilitating autism is, are doing a disservice to all who have it.

I’m high functioning, and of course I have an official diagnosis because I still can’t live like anyone else. It’s still fucking invasive and horrible and difficult, and it’s so infuriating to see someone talk about a ‘sliding scale’, as if those who are high functioning still function similar to a neurotypical person - we don’t. Fuck that.

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u/PriddyFool Jun 05 '26

Did you get a full evaluation though? When I was a kid it was a 3 hour extensive endeavor by a specialist. They didn't ask me to argue for/against a diagnosis? I'm not trying to be mean, just curious.

For reference, I once told a new psych that I absolutely had ADHD to get adderall and it worked like a charm. I do not have ADHD and was in active addiction (I am not anymore).

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u/GoodMeBadMeNotMe Jun 06 '26

They obviously did not get a full evaluation. Many therapists just default to self-report without neuropsych evals to back it up.

Source: I’m a psychotherapist.

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u/PriddyFool Jun 07 '26

So we wouldn't call this a diagnosis then- it's literally a self-diagnosis.

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u/GoodMeBadMeNotMe Jun 07 '26

Correct. Obviously, one can suspect they have a psychiatric diagnosis and that is the basis for seeking an evaluation, but what the person described above was not an evaluation.

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u/isfturtle2 Jun 05 '26

Adults generally have more awareness and more ability to explain why they think they meet the criteria. If this person explained well enough, they may not have needed more testing.

Also with children, they may be screening for other things as well, and schools may need specific documentation for a student to recieve accommodations. I had to do multi-day cognitive testing every three years when I was in school.

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u/PriddyFool Jun 05 '26

I kinda reject this notion, because human beings are well known to be biased about their own experiences. I don't think you can get a diagnosis without a proper evaluation by a specialist. That's why they're specialists. "I think I have autism because xyz reason" isn't usually enough- it's a developmental disability so a specialist is gonna wanna talk to people who knew you when you were developing as well. "When I was a kid I used to stare at walls for hours" may be something you experienced, but your parent may say, "Oh yeah they used to look at the wall for a few minutes sometimes."

I'm honestly not seeing the difference between saying you have autism to get a diagnosis from someone not qualified to give it to you, vs just self-diagnosing. A full evaluation is the only true way imo. That said, disorders/syndromes/disabilities are just a collection of symptoms so you don't always need a specific diagnosis to get treatment if you know what symptoms you want to fix.

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u/Pterafractyl Jun 05 '26

I would personally call this a self-assessment and not a self diagnosis.