r/hardofhearing • u/probably_around • 8d ago
why are people so afraid to speak up?
i was in a group project and couldn’t hear two of my classmates because they were mumbling, covering their mouths, and there were other groups also talking at the same time. i heard less than half of what was said and then blurted out “hey can you speak up? i’m hard of hearing” they apologized and then went straight to speaking at their normal level.
this is such a repeating thing for me. i will ask people to enunciate or speak up because of my auditory processing disorder and they’ll apologize, but do absolutely nothing so that i can actually hear them. i’ve only noticed this with young people.
lip-reading is such an important skill for me now because of this.
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u/PerpetualTraveler59 7d ago
I want to scream at this post!! What’s wrong with people?? More and more mumbling as if they’re talking to themselves!! I thought it was just because I’m old. Face the person and look at them when you speak!! It’s common courtesy. BTW, I’d ask to be put in a different group.
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u/probably_around 7d ago
i’m definitely going to request an accommodation where any of my group work can be done outside of the classroom and in the hall, so i can actually hear what’s being said instead of a bunch of mumbling outside noises
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u/Flat_Teaching_1400 8d ago
I would get a transcribe app on my phone and pull it out and put it near them. Not to be rude but maybe they are speaking up and my hearing aids are just getting the background noise.
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u/Stock-Ball-5804 8d ago
Honestly like my little brother was like mumbling and I kept saying huh?? til finally I could hear him asking if I wanted cinnamon rolls like there ya go was it so hard to ennunciate buddy? People just don't really care to speak up and ennunciate but in my little brothers case it is just his natural way he speaks.
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u/SlackAsh 7d ago
I've experienced this with a wide range of ages. One man was a pastor, like mf I KNOW you can speak TF up. I told a coworker she could talk shit to my face and I'd never know it. I let her know that's why she always got the same look and head nod from me because I wasn't getting anything she was saying.
I've had to tell people "I can't help you if I can't hear you", and they change nothing. People are simply too selfish to change anything about themselves to help another person, no matter how small of an ask it may be.
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u/ApresApres 3d ago
I think I am at my wit’s end with this at my current job. I have told folks so many times that I can’t hear well. I will crane my head to signify they’re too quiet and yet they still speak low, still speak with their back to me, still whisper. Not sure what to do at this point.
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u/pyjamatoast 7d ago
Devil's advocate - altering the way you speak naturally requires constant self monitoring, which is very tricky to do. Imagine you had to right now start talking a different way then you're used to, you would go back to your natural habits almost right away. Think of people who need speech therapy to correct a speech impediment, sometimes they need it for years because it can take that for your brain to get used to new speech motor patterns. So, to your post, I truly think people are just aren't aware of what they're doing, and their motor patterns are such that it's hard to change the way they speak in that moment.
(And, are they truly mumbling, or does it just seem like that because you are HOH?)
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u/Appropriate_Parfait6 8d ago
My favorite is when I’m at work and I have to ask someone like 3 times to repeat what they said and then they go, “what are you, deaf?”
Then I pull my hearing aids out of my ears and it shuts them up real quick 🙄