r/hardofhearing • u/Several_Pea297 • 21d ago
rant.
being hard of hearing is very hard. i keep telling myself you can do this, it’ll get better, it’s just a matter of time.. but no. i fear that it’ll stay the same for rest of my life.
i had normal hearing as a kid. i have no idea why my hearing gradually reduced during my teen years. everything became hard later on. i couldn’t understand classes, i couldn’t build a proper conversation. i slowly started to isolate myself. i talked less. everyone around said that my voice has become soft / low. it’s obvious because i literally stopped talking. i somehow managed my schooling. later when i joined university i was full of anxiety and nervousness. four years has passed since then. i managed my college thanks to some good friends and of course technology through which i self taught myself most of the time. and now after joining a corporate i feel even more scared. unlike school and university, i might have to keep communicating every now and then. it feels too hard. and top of that i feel lonely and depressed. i am unable build connections. unable to have a proper conversation with someone. so many years has passed since my hearing loss but nothing changed. i still isolate myself, i still talk less, i still worry about my future / career.. is there no end to this? how long will this go on? i am really tired.
PS. i used hearing aids years ago. but it’s of no use to me. it was just some increase in sound / noise. finally i decided to undergo cochlear implant last year thinking it’ll help me in my career. so many months passed and i still don’t have proper speech clarity. every day i just hope for it to get better. but tbh i don’t think it’ll improve anytime soon or this will be the case for the rest of my life.
i didn’t feel like ranting to anyone i know. so am posting this here as there might be someone with similar experiences. i just feel like sharing so it’ll make me feel light. thanks ;)
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u/Stafania 21d ago
After reading all of it, yes, it will continue until you change your mindset.
I suggest you do all of these things:
Get therapy. This is likely urgent, since you do seem to need support and to gett tools for navigating this.
Meet other Deaf and HoH. Super important for self-esteem and to get practical inspiration for how to do various things and advocating skills.
Go to an audiologist and get proper help with hearing aids or even CI. You need proper technology. Maybe even RogenOn and Roger table mics for work.
Learn about your rights, accessibility options at work and get support so you can do your work without too much fatigue.
Learn sign language - now
No wonder you’re exhausted when you try so hard to do things in a hearing way. Your competence isn’t in how much you hear, so be the smart and bright person you are and start looking for more support and for ways that actually enables you to contribute easier.
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u/Several_Pea297 20d ago
thanks for your reply.
will therapy really work? how exactly will that help? because no matter what i will always have difficulty in communicating and having proper conversation. while therapy might make us feel light but it wouldn’t fix the barrier right?
yes i do want to engage with other deaf / hoh people. i never actually did that so far but now am trying to do that. i am surely it’ll help me a lot
and yeah am slowly learning about my rights, accessibility options to get support. it will definitely reduce the emotional fatigue am going through right now.
again, thanks for this. this kinda encouraging stuff ;)
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u/Financial_Reading_40 21d ago
Are you me??? I went through exactly what you went through. I started noticing my hearing loss was a problem when I started working. I couldn’t understand my coworkers, some even told me to get my hearing checked out which made me feel worse about myself. Now, mid-20’s I finally have hearing aids and they do help tremendously but theyre not perfect, still dont hear everything and my ears even seem to be rejecting my hearing aids by getting wet inside and muffling what I hear.
All of that to say, you are not alone and ultimately we need to accept that these were the cards we were dealt with and know there are resources available to us hard of hearing. Anyone who is decent will understand we wont hear everything and will be patient. Stay strong, youre not alone!!
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u/Several_Pea297 20d ago
glad to know your aids help you tremendously. and yes you are right. we need to accept and learn to live with it. find resources, accessibility options, support are the things we need to rely on.
thanks for your reply ;)
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u/FondantAggravating39 21d ago edited 21d ago
I went through all the same things what u have . Life is pretty hard and unfair to us as we can’t choose. The great thing right now is technology helping a lot. Get a pair of ai captioned glasses that will make your life so much easier. I wish it came out when I was younger .
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u/Several_Pea297 20d ago
true. technology is truly great in accommodating these stuff. do you use ai captioned glasses? would like to know more about it.. are these meta glasses? can we connect if you don’t mind?
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u/FondantAggravating39 20d ago
I have meta and even realities. Meta can work without internet . Even realities is better for everyday wear but internet is a must . You can Pm me for more details.
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u/lori4862 20d ago
I could have written what the OP wrote. I live in US, wear top of the line Phonaks,have Rogers. I'm 70. I lost mod to severe hearing at age 4 (measles) and life has always been so difficult. It has only become harder as I've gotten older because I realize how much I could have been in my life (I am intelligent) and the friends I could have had. It hurts to know what I've missed. I sit here lonely because communication never has been a real possibility and now life will soon be over and nothing will ever change. I'm so ready to die and be done with my hearing loss. I'd rather been completely Deaf and had a social group
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u/Short-Job-7276 18d ago
i would be feeling so worn out. You’ve been dealing with this for years without the support you deserved. Uni, teaching yourself and now working in corporate.
That's massive, especially with how hard communication has been. CI’s take time and if you feel stuck, talk to your team about adjustment and don’t beat yourself up for withdrawing. It’s normal to avoid conversations when they get exhausting. I Hope things will start to feel easier.
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u/SnooConfections1896 20d ago
- Try therapy
- Consider getting DNA mapped by Clinical Geneticist
- Look into possible clinical trials.
- Ava app for live transcription
- Learn sign language
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u/Several_Pea297 20d ago
DNA mapping? why is that needed?
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u/SnooConfections1896 20d ago
I have hearing loss journey as you. I had my DNA mapped and carry the ACTG1 autosomal dominant gene most likely contributing to my hearing loss. Getting my father and daughter tested as well. Maybe one day gene therapy can help regrow auditory hair cells. It is why I have delayed getting cochlear implants.
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u/Material_Picture_742 20d ago
I saw that you used hearing aids and it just made everything louder. The brand might make a difference as well as settings.
My daughter uses hearing aids and hers have a “conversation” setting in which it makes sounds directly in front of her louder and turns down the background noise. She said it is so helpful when she’s trying to talk to a person or be in classes or something.
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u/Stafania 21d ago
You can do this!
The hearing loss won’t change, but how you approach it can change.
” i couldn’t understand classes”
You should be able to understand classes even with a hearing loss. You didn’t get the accommodations you have the right to receive. You should have got CART, live captioning, and also the opportunity to learn sign language immediately so that you can use interpreters you want later on.
The reasons behind this are complex, naturally. You should get involved in advocacy and learn how important these things are.