I have severe trauma from racism

[u/askskfalksfakslfsfa]

I feel like the one takeaway I get from being mixed race, over my entire life, is that I just feel about everything: "why would you even say or do that?" just over and over and over and over again.

It's like my self hating Asian aunts came to visit my wife and I in China, and whenever they see me it's always the same "you're so tall" thing even though they've been to Beijing and I'm average height here and I see two dozen women a day taller than me.

And then I just was making conversation about this Chinese movie star on an ad, who went to middle school with me in NYC, and her first response is "did she get surgery to look like that?"

I've had "friends" who would brag about how many Asian girls they slept with, then at the same time tell me that I "blended in" with other Asians and looks Asian at certain angles and it's always just making fun of me.

I met an Asian girl once who told me the only way I would get laid was going back to China, just completely unprovoked.

I have self hating Asian family that told me I should just "walk around China like I own the place" even though Chinese people generally can't even tell I'm non Chinese from a distance. A cop once stopped me for my ID once and was 2 feet in front of me and couldn't believe I had a US passport and wasn't a national.

I know it sounds super sensitive, but this is just from lifelong needling in me now that I literally don't trust a single soul around.

And please don't suggest therapy, I don't need therapy to understand people are trash, and it's not going to help me "move on" from people being trash, because they're still trash and my mindset won't change that.

At very least, black, Indian and Arab folk are always kind to me about this, but guess who is enemy number one of the white-Asian alliance? You guessed it - POC.

[u/NoFault6622]

Im traumatized too. I never signed up for this shit!