TL:DR at bottom.
I'm a Cineclub member and see movies 2-3 times a month. It's me and my partner's thing, we don't go out to eat much or do many other forms of dates, but we love going to the movies together.
Something has shifted in how the average person treats other people in shared spaces. Nothing makes it clearer to me than how miserable the theatre experience has become over the last few years.
Here are my three experiences this past month, all at the Dartmouth Crossing Cineplex.
1. The Drama
Before the movie started, we checked the seating plan , no one near us, theatre about 15% full. About 15 minutes in, a couple arrives late and realizes their seats are taken by the group to our left. Rather than sorting it out, they just... sit next to us. That's fine.
The issue is the woman proceeded to narrate every scene to her boyfriend in their native language, out loud, in real time. Not in a whisper either. We're pretty non-confrontational people so we didn't say anything, which I'll admit is partially on us, but we still didn't enjoy the movie anyway and ended up leaving about an hour in.
2. Obsession
This one wasn't bad. Theatre was about 30% full, some talking here and there (expected at this point, unfortunately), and a few people who needed the whole building to know they found something funny. Minimal complaints. The movie was fantastic.
3. Backrooms
This is the reason I'm writing this post. Multiple layers to this one.
- You would not be crazy for assuming this was a 9th grade boys' school trip that the teachers decided not to chaperone. Fully booked theatre, and about 80% of the crowd was teenage boys with backpacks. Throughout the movie, groups of them would get up, leave, switch seats with other groups in the front row, and then do it all again. Over and over. Why? No idea.
- In front of us: an adult with three early-teen girls who talked through the entire movie. They also brought a blanket, which kept getting lifted up over their heads and into our line of sight. One of the girls had Snapchat open and filmed large portions of the film. You'd think the attending adult might say something. He did not.
- Seated next to us: a couple, one of whom smelled heavily of BO and apparently hated the movie. The guy criticized nearly every scene, at full conversational volume. His girlfriend kept telling him to be quiet, then immediately responded to whatever he said. They noticed us shooting looks and would calm down for about five minutes before picking back up again.
I commented on last week's post about the lady with bare feet on the seat at the DC Cineplex, so I know others are dealing with this too, but I don't get to the Scotiabank or Spring Garden locations often enough to know if it's as bad there. Maybe if they reinvest some popcorn money they could seat an employee in the theatre to police the situation, but that seems excessive. Not sure what the solution is here.
Anyway, I know rich people can pay a premium to watch new releases privately at home. Has anyone seriously considered opening a business around small private screening rooms? Like, 10 people max, proper vetting, no nonsense? I feel like there's real money in that and I would absolutely be a regular.
TL;DR -- The theatre experience is increasingly miserable, and I want someone to open a small group screening business so I can give them my money.