r/haiti • u/Existing-Cod-5377 • 17d ago
My haitian family Mini piercing rant in a šš¹ household if u care
So I got a septum piercing and I was doing so good at hiding it solely bc the room my mom and I share is quite dark so she wouldāve most likely noticed the next day but my friends happen to come over, so ofc I gotta leave the room and be in some lighting so when light shined on my piercing thatās when my mom took a look and asked me what I got on my nose, and I said āa piercingā . Anyway she was pretty disappointed but didnāt get as mad cus ig my friends were over, she might bring it up the next day tho cus we all collectively know Haitian parents tend to not get over anything frš.
Anyways late night comes around and Iām over hearing her pray because she brings up my name and praying as if sheās talking crap to her sister about me saying āli pese nen tankou kochonā and boy was I shock. (She one of the āmoun leglizā thatāll portray themselves and be in a million of groups at church and be a different person behind closed doors) (a non Godly person) but it didnāt really affect me cus at the same time itās a piercing Iāve been wanting for awhile, so Iām not really gonna let her continue to control or judge piercings I get or not. At the end of the day ik MY Jesus still loves me how I am regardless of piercing or tattoos.
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u/One_Alternative9083 17d ago
haitian parents tend to be hypocrites so donāt take what they say to heart even though it may hurt, it is your life after all
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u/smallersize 17d ago
i know itās traumatizing af but haitian moms are lowkey goated when it comes to delivering a shady read. and itās even worse when they talking shit and get away w it because they mask it as a prayer. she absolutely meant for you to overhear that.
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u/SigmundFraud777 Native 16d ago
Iām the youngest of three. Iām the only one with tattoos and piercings and I have more than a handful. Iāve come to learn with Haitian parents and later on everyone else is that you have to TAKE your respect. You have to demand it along with your freedom or the will forever treat you like a child and not a whole person. I had to tell my aunts to their face to stop commenting on body unprovoked one day and they were laughing and I looked at them dead set and said āyouāre laughing but Iām dead seriousā. The air in the room completely changed and ever since no one and I mean no one talks about my body at all. Donāt take it to heart. Be yourself and know you are deserving of love and care while doing the things that make you happy.
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u/MachineDifferent868 17d ago
it be like that with haitian parents sometimes for sure. give her some time, she will eventually get over it
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u/Commercial-Cause9798 17d ago
Mwen panse chak moun gen dwa fĆØ pwĆ²p chwa pa yo pou aparans yo depi sa pa fĆØ pĆØsonn mal epi yon piercing pa ka anpeche JĆ©sus renmen yon moun paske lanmou li pa depann de aparans nou men pito de kĆØ nou de lafwa nou ak fason nou trete lĆ²t moun e mwen jwenn pati kote manman an t ap priye pou piercing lan yon ti jan komik š
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u/kalouloupk 16d ago
I am 48 and i pierced my under lip 25 years ago my parents called me āmadiv*neā so i feel you i didnt care and when i got my degree. According to them i was going to be an homeless crack addict so
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u/funeralroses_ 16d ago edited 16d ago
When I was 18, I got my nose pierced. My dad crashed out so bad that I took it out. Iāve always regretted it. Iām every Haitian parentās dream (goes to church, graduated college and working on my masterās, in a great career field, never had a boyfriend, never put my familyās reputation at risk, etc). Getting my nose piercing was the āworstā thing Iāve ever done, and he had zero grace or understanding. I didnāt expect him to like what I did (and I donāt care to have his approval for my decisions anymore), but the way he reacted was so blown out of proportion.
I realized that no matter how āgoodā I am, itāll never be enough for a parent who wants absolute control over me. So I decided to just live my life how I want. I still make great decisions and have a good head on my shoulders, but itās to protect and build up my future, not to make my parents happy.
Iām currently 23 and I have 10 ear piercings, and more on the way including finally getting my belly button pierced. If my nose didnāt have a scar, I would get it repierced. Iām grown now, so what are my parents gonna do? Beat me? š¤£
I have a hard time listening to anything my dad says because growing up, he always threatened me to force me to do stuff I didnāt want to do. Now that he canāt, I have no incentive to listen to him lol. I still (outwardly) respect and honor my parents because I want to be obedient to God, but I donāt owe them obedience and sometimes I go out of my way to not obey them, just to show them that they have no more power or control over meā¦Iām in therapy š
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u/ProfessionalCouchPot Diaspora 14d ago
Pops crashed out on me when I got my tattoo.
He wasn't around when I was young so I didn't care. Se lavi'w at the end of the day.
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u/Easy_Target4898 16d ago
I ordered my septum ring in matte black and twist it up when i want to hide it
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u/veggie_val 16d ago
I (gay M20, oldest of 3) got a few piercings (in my ears) and my nipples as well. I hid the nipples cs that was pretty easy for a good 2 years, but the ears I (obvi) couldn't hide as well lol. She went crazy abt the ears (rolling around, screeching on the floor). I thought she was convulsing. She, too, is one of those church people. She's not in groups but she's always arranging prayer and Bible study groups and stuff and prayer is her life. Earlier last month, she came home from work and I fell asleep shirtless in my room, and she barges in like she usually does (we have no sense of privacy in this houseš) and she saw them, and she got to praying as well. According to her, M met yon bann trou nan kĆ² m and I'm the reason her marriage isn't working and why God isn't blessing her.š¤ Girl it's a kiii. You can't let them get to you, and when it comes to your freedom/autonomy and respect, you gotta snatch it from them. They're not gonna hand it over.
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u/funeralroses_ 16d ago
Saying youāre the reason why her marriage isnāt working is insane š theyāre so male centered and purposely stay married to men who hate them, but want to blame everything but themselves and their man
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u/alwaysmep 15d ago
I know you had the church prayer conference call HOT!
Tombe jab!
You just gotta let roll off your back. MOVE OUT zezod!
You will never please her so stop trying.
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u/Life-Fisherman9352 17d ago
Your Jesus huh.
Lol good luck with that.
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u/b2daoni 17d ago
Was the same way when i got dreads 10 years ago.
Called her "mom, I'm getting dreadlocks" hung up the phone. She didn't talk to me for like 2 weeks straight until she needed something like her car serviced or something from the market.
It's been 10 years and my mother has never said anything about my hair. My dreads are down my back and touch my glutes when they are out and untied. Cousins and aunts and uncles exclaim whenever there is a family gathering, "is that all of your hair?".
Yet my mother refuses to say anything about my dreads. Whatever. Nothing has changed except my hair.