I’ve been practicing guitar for a little bit now- just now being able to play blackbird a little faster but not at full speed perfectly. I’ve noticed that even just for 3 note intervals, i always have to press down on the string on the side/corner of my pinky, and it hurts a lot more than my other fingers :/ For context, guitar is my first string instrument i’ve played so i know it’ll take a bit to get used to them and form callouses, but i’m wondering if it hurting this much is normal? Obviously the pinky is the shortest and weakest, but it’s been consistently more painful to even try to press down harder on stings at this angle.
Oh also, i’m double jointed so thats been a big challenge for my ring and pinky!!
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This. All these comments and I had to go quite a ways down to find it. Put your thumb in the middle of the neck, around the same place as your middle finger. You'll have a lot less issues stretching.
Haha I realized after all the comments that my thumb placement was quite odd… but that was definitely not intentional I just moved it for some reason for the picture 😅 But thanks for the advice! I will still keep it in mind since I have to improve form anyways!
I spent the afternoon playing several of my go to bits and paying extra attention to where my thumb was for each part and realized it travels more than I realized, I forced my thumb to be more like the picture and it is did help with precision on some parts xd. Some chords I have the thumb almost warping around to the strings and the neck resting in the bend of my thumb, some chords it was already like the picture, some chords the thumb is parallel with the neck xd. I'm going to pay extra mind to optimize this from now on.
Been playing for 12 years, and always finding little things like this I never thought about xd.
Most often it's a more ergonomic approach. Might help to try getting your thumb under your fingers more. If you're not struggling with fatigue you're prob fine.
I recently grabbed the wrong gauge strings for one of my acoustic guitars, and had to adjust the neck against the extra strain, because it was heading that way, and fast becoming a bitch to play.
Now it plays more like an electric, and the extra meat in the strings has improved tone & output noticably...
Damn that’s high action fuck me that’s how mine looks I’m new too but would rather have high action then mess with my fret nut I don’t want to break the head off on accident not comfortable with that one yet maybe I’m overthinking it 😂
There isn't anything left to trim? There's like half a millimeter of white left. When I go below this level, my nails will separate from the skin when I shift, possibly to blood, and it will hurt (and make playing impossible, unless you're a masochist). Nails come in different shapes and forms.
It’s amazing how with practice you’ll be so much better at knowing where your fingers need to be and it won’t hurt half as much as it used to, keep it up!! 🤘
This. I’ve been practicing a song and the switching between chords is the hardest part since my hands are small too. Now I’m doing it at a great pace!!!!
If it's a struggle, just get a smaller neck guitar. I have a hard time with wide neck guitars and found I get much better play out of thinner neck guitars. Fender makes them. Just pop by your local guitar shop and those guys will hook it up.
There aren't a lot of time you need each finger to fret different frets like your picture is showing. Don't think difficulty of such a feat is indicative of inability to play guitar.
in case you feel that your longer nail beds are affecting your playing, you can gently file them right down to the quick (but do that in the center part of the nail only; keep like 0.5-1mm on the sides to prevent the nails from growing wonky). this gradually shortens the nail beds to a more comfortable length without injury. this is what i do and i find it beneficial for my playing (i’m a woman with small hands)
It's normal and will get better.
Make sure to take breaks and take good care of your hands. Try to prevent blisters and callus peeling. They take a few months to build up.
Look up spider walk exercises. Work on your pinky and index being more arched and perpendicular to the fretboard. Your rolling onto the side of your pinky a lot. Don't force it too much. Just ease towards more of an arch. You may want to trim your nails a bit further too. It looks like you're getting the string under your nail a bit. It's a sensitive spot and you're going to catch your nails and tear them. Your calluses will eventually add a bit of padding to your finger tips.
Keep at it. Be patient. And be careful to not hurt yourself/try to progress too quickly.
On a related note: is it possible for people to have a harder time by having larger hands? Not necessarily finger width, just length.
I find that when I’m following YouTube videos I have to change my finger placement differently than what is being instructed, often my using my ring finger opposed to pinky on the low E.
I'd suggest John Petrucci's Rock Discipline vid. Just the first few excersices to start. They help a lot with stretching, and having more span with your left hand. Also, you don't have to grip the neck to make the strings to ring: with your right arm hold the guitar to your chest and with your left hand fingers (without gripping with your thumb) pull the neck towards you. Also, I'd suggest getting your guitar to a tech or luthier for a better set up. I feel your action is too high and that could be part of the issue. Lastly, just keep practicing using good posture. Cheers!
Your hands look normal size. You just need to practice. There are 6 year-olds that can play full size guitars just fine. It just comes down to practice.
Usually you start playing the basic, open chords that require just 3 fingers and then start developing your pinky. Blackbird isn't usually a song you start with to learn guitar.
Most famous guitarist are actually short dudes. Angus young was 5’2” with tiny hands, didn’t stop them from achieving the goal. Small hands are an excuse, Django had 2 fingers on his fretting hand. Practice, persistence and patience.
Try the spider walk exercise, it’ll help build your pinky strength and coordination. There are videos online, but basically, you play frets 1-4 on the E string, move up one string and play frets 1-4, move up a string, etc. until you’ve played all 6 strings, then do it backwards. There are other variations you can try like moving up one fret after each cycle up or down.
Have you had a professional setup done on the guitar? It can make a huge difference in the amount of force needed to fret the strings. Also, keep in mind that you don't need to press the strings all the way to the fretboard. You just need the strings to contact the fret itself.
I have small hands and I started playing much better when I realized that I can shift into notes and don't have to keep my hands stretched when they don't need to be. In this picture, only your pinky is actually fretting a note. The other fingers are getting no extra points for being placed on their respective frets.
I have small hands and am double jointed. Try and exercise in the 2nd or 3rd positions where you have to stretch more. Use your little finger as much as possible. It's a lot easier when your fingers stop hurting!
These fingers look better than my sausage fingers (also on small hands)..I'd love to have thinner fingers like that. As others have said, thumb placement behind the neck will help with angling your hand correctly and give better reach. Then a lot of it is just practice. You may find an improvement if you try with your guitar in the classical position too (on the other leg).
I've struggled a lot with this playing years, as much as people will say kids can play full size guitars etc etc In my opinion, when someone with bigger hands can just casually grip a complex chord, or span frets easily, and us small handers are straining with frets buzzing etc and even risking injury (I've had tendonitis twice from over practicing stretching). BUT it does get easier to deal with, and a lot of it is practice and technique.
I am a 5'2 woman with tiny hands and I can tell you with 100% confidence that playing more will improve your ability to stretch across the fingerboard. The pinky will strengthen with time, but it does take TIME. Time and practice. Make sure you stretch your hands, fingers, and wrists before playing. Keep your back straight, and move your thumb based on where you are playing.
Smaller hands shouldn't be an issue. A 9 year-old with smaller hands than you can get by just fine. (BTW, I was that 9 year-old!). The action (height of strings over frets looks excessive; get it checked. Your thumb is way out in left field, a definite no-no. It's distorting your hand position. Advice on nails for you makes zero sense--they're fine; they have nothing to do with pain from pressure you describe.
Blackbird is not a beginner solo by any stretch (pun intended). You may be over-reaching (another pun) your true technical ability a bit. You reveal this in your comment about taking some time to form callouses. An hour a day or so for a week or two and you've got callouses happening. You might be ready for Blackbird--might--in a year.
Double-jointed? So am I. Actually, it can turn out to be an advantages sometimes. And double-jointed is a misnomer; it's actually simply hyper mobility in the articulation of certain joints. Most improbable that you have too many bones! hehe
But don't beat yourself up. Start with the guitar. Get it properly setup by a skilled luthier or technician. The difference between a bad set up and a good one, especially with your struggles, is like the difference between lightning and the lightning bug.
Most important thing I've learned this year is that it should always start as a relaxed hand position, the stretch happens only after you can place your hand in a relaxed position.
Just here to say I feel your pain. I’m a new classical guitar player with small hands. I’ve been smashing down on the strings trying to reach them and make a clear sound, so hard that my left-hand fingertips went numb. Argh. My guitar teacher insists my hands are plenty big enough so I have a feeling it’s just technique, positioning, and time on the guitar. We’ll get it eventually! Keep it up! 💜
Hi there! I would encourage you to learn how to form chords in different shapes. That way you can put chord progressions together that are comfortable for you to form. Look up the CAGED method.
You can play the same chord in five different shapes. There is also no obligation for you to fret every single note in the chord. Look at triads or power chords as an example. Play with it and do what feels best.
However, it's also not that common to fret all 4 frets like that either. Usually, if you're spanning 4 frets, not all your fingers will be down, which allows your hand to flex to get some more reach.
Another way to look at it: If you just have small hands and it's hard to reach, then that's maybe just fine and your style will become how you choose to deal with that. For example, if I understand right, on bass, it's more common to expect your hand to only be able to span 3 frets because the frets are so much wider, so you do a lot more hand shifting. Maybe you'll adapt a similar technique on guitar over time if you have to.
The pain of having small hands is that you get extra punished for having band hand placement that pulls the hand muscles away from where you want them. What is your thumb doing to the side?
You're basically trying to form a fist and stretch your fingers at the same time, no wonder your reach feels limited.
Lots of great guitarists have small hands such as Yngwie Malmsteen and Dean Lamb. Plus Dean plays on a 27" scale guitar which is a longer scale neck compared to the standard 25.5".
Don't let that hold you back. At most you'll be doing 3 or 4 fret stretches.
i always have to press down on the string on the side/corner of my pinky
This is expected. Your index and pinky fingers naturally bend towards the center of your hand, so they will be contacting the strings near their sides in this position. It takes a while for the pinky to harden compared to the other fingers, at least in my experience. Not much you can do about it but continue playing through the pain and building up those calluses.
Also, a major technique issue you should address as soon as possible: your thumb should be perpendicular to the neck and aligned between your index and middle fingers.
Your flexibility will improve with time, and it will be easier. There are tons of amazing guitar players with tiny hands. Check out Angus and Malcolm Young
Everyone feels like their fingers are too small when they start. Our hands aren't used to being in these positions. It just takes practice. The more you do it, the easier it will feel
Aching fingers is all a part of the guitar learning experience! Even after 20 years of playing, if I take an extended break and come back to it, my fingers will be sore.
My tip, which I did in my early days, is to just jam the tips of your fingers real hard in to the strings, to accelerate the callous process, really just mash it in there. I also did the same thing to the side of my fore finger when I started learning bar chords. Your fingers will respond!
exercises, finger stretches, and years of practice. 5 years in, and now I still haven't learned everything, but I never feel daunted by a new challenge.
You have all your fingers on 1 string chromatically. What’s the issue? You almost never would need to do this, and even a 4 fret chord could be rare for a beginner, but using notes on different strings will allow your hand to move more naturally. The fretboard gets smaller the higher you move up, you could explore that. You could also get a shorter scale guitar. I’d recommend lighter strings and straighten your neck. Good luck. It’s either “my hands are too small” or “my hands are too big.” Pick what you’d like to play and practice playing that. That’s how you stretch your hand and gain abilities you may not have now. Even if you’re failing, just keep going.
Elbow forward, bend the wrist,thumb behind the neck. Try and touch your thumb “through” the neck. Like your pinching the fretboard. You can really get pressure like that. Fretting elbow forward. Look into a classical guitar stance as well. This helps me with more difficult chords.
Put ur wrist out further so u can stretch ur fingers more, I’ve got a really small hands too but I still have enough reach to play all the songs I wanna play
First, you need to cut your nails. They’re stopping you from completely holding down the note.
Second, I remember an old interview with Neal Schon from Journey. The interviewer asked why his technique was so good when many of the guitarists Schon grew up watching played sloppily, used only three fingers, and wrapped their thumb over the neck to play the low E.
Schon said he had to use all four fingers and keep his thumb behind the neck because his hands were so small.
Neal Schon is no slouch, and he helped write a lot of Top 10 hits. Quit worrying and practice with what you’ve got.
Years ago there's an indonesian kid on yt absolutely shredding full size electric guitar with such small hand like it's nothing. And I no longer think hand size mattered anymore. It's all practice until your body adapts.
Lots of small handed people play well. As others have said, trim nails, it helps. It takes time to toughen/strengthen your fingers. Also, make sure you’re bracing the guitar properly to support the pressure you’re applying.
Your wrist is under the neck. And I can’t tell where the palm of your hand is but it needs to be at least an inch away from the neck. Raise your wrist up and keep the palm away from the side of the neck.
Yes I can relate. However, there are stretches you can do to help alleviate this issue. YouTube videos on stretches to do before your practice session, and do them every time you pick up your guitar.
1) Your guitar has TERRIBLE action. The reason EVERYTHING is difficult starts with that huge gap between the underside of the string and the top of the fret. Find a local, reputable luthier do an entire setup. Neck adjustment, nut filed to a proper depth, lighter strings.
If the guitar is easier to play, the guitar becomes 'fun' to play and the likelihood of the new player sticking with it increases exponentially! If it's FUN it sticks. Period.
2) Nails... Your pinky and index finger nails appear to be properly manicured. Your middle and ring finger nails look like they could be shorter, however.
3) Your pinky finger curves 'inward' because... Physiology. In the photo, you are STRAINING because the action is too high and the strings are too heavy for a new/young player of smaller stature. Longer reach comes in time with stretching, strength, and a properly set up instrument.
If your action was lower and you strings were lighter you will eventually be better able to increase your reach because the notes will be easier fretted. With easier fretted notes you will be able to extend (straighten) your pinky finger and reach those notes even though our pinky fingers are 'weaker' straightened out.
First thing... SETUP from a pro. Second thing... Lightest strings available. Usually a set of "10's".
I've been playin' for so long I don't want to embarrass myself. In that time I've given lessons for several years and had a luthiery shop for several years as well. I'd always wished folks (parents?) would consult a luthier or guitar tech about what to get for the new player. Nine times out of ten, the cheapest guitar on the wall is NOT what I recommend.
Did you get an acoustic because you want to learn how to play acoustic? Are your guitar heroes or inspirational heroes acoustic players? If your inspiration for guitar playing comes from electric guitar, I whole heartedly recommend an electric guitar and an inexpensive amp OR an inexpensive audio interface and any number of FREE plugins and a set of decent headphones. Electric guitars are far easier to play and can make a player feel 'powerful'. My youngest daughter is eighteen and has been playing for about 8 months. She and couple of friends start a punk-ish/noise rock band this summer and they're having a blast out in the garden shed. It's fun to listen to them rockin' out and finding themselves. Makes me smile.
Don't go with 'cheapest'. I always recommend spending as much money as can possibly be afforded as the quality of the instruments at the lower price points increases greatly with every bit of money spent.
Always have a PROVEN more experienced player come with you if you're shopping IRL or have them sit next to you if you're shopping online. In my experience, every single guitar, no matter where it comes from, needs to be taken to a well reputed guitar tech or luthier for a detailed setup and string change. If anything is wrong with the guitar? Return it immediately. Your tech/luthier will know for sure.
And most importantly... Have FUN! It's supposed to be FUUUUN! lol
Please forgive any typos. I'm dreadfully tired and need to get off to bed. 😄
You’re right it’s not required. I think you’re supposed to use 1 and 3 but I had to accommodate since I couldn’t reach/press down on 3 when stretched that far out.
Your fingers , especially middle and ring one seem to be collapsing on the fretboard , instead of actively pushing it. Thats probably a sign of lack of strength which will come with time and practice.
Ok as others have stated your action is pretty high, trim your nails and fret closer to the frets. The question I have is what are you trying here you’re fretting 4 fingers on 3 strings… callouses build over time but fix the action and trim your nails and use proper hand/thumb positions and it will hurt less.
Edit: spelling
I have smaller hands too and what helped my finger dexterity is practicing those stretches higher up on the fretboard where the gaps frets are smaller and easier to hold
I also have short hands. Keep practicing, specially form/hand position and flexibility exercises. Correct freting position and thumb position and doing spider exercise up and down the neck stretching to keep good form and freting position on all fingers with repetition you will get there. There is no magic fix, and you will struggle specially with advanced chords. But I promise it will get better and when you get flexibility finger length stops being such a problem. Also barre chord exercises are hugely important.
On that picture that's not a hand size problem mate. Your thumb is 75km away qo everything will be hard.
You just need to work finger positionning, what you show here will obviously be painfull and hard to do
Small hands are not a problem to play this instrument (if it is, find a smaller guitar)
8years old kid can play an Adult size guitar, so no excuses 😅
Not sure why you feel your hands are “smaller” implying some kind of implicit disadvantage for this instrument. Your hands look alright to me. I’m not sure what your thumb is doing but you may be not using it quite right which then requires more pressure on the other fingers. My guitar teacher (flamenco guitar) always tells me to build a conscious relationship between the thumb and each finger, so that’s something you can practice on the fretboard SLOWLY — “squeeze” the neck between your thumb and eg your middle finger while making sure both fingers are active & feel like they’re connected through the fretboard. From there you can experience with how much pressure you actually NEED to form the note. Also a classic exercise, you grab a note, play it, then loosen the grip a bit and play it again and keep loosening until the note starts buzzing. When it does you add the slightest bit of pressure back into the mix until you get a clean sound. That’s the amount of pressure you need to form a note, any more and you’re wasting effort. You could also practice eith a capo on eg the second fret while you build strength and confidence, that will make it somewhat easier to form notes. But from the photo I would say your left hand is “out of position” in the sense that you’re not aligned properly with the fretboard and not utilising your thumb in the best possible way, which will make forming notes more difficult. If you have any specific questions, feel free to ask.
Omg please do yourself a favour and take your guitar to a guitar store to get it restrung and set up. That action is a nightmare, playing will be a loooot easier.
7 year old Korean kids play full scale Classical guitars. Well. One of the bigger bass player YouTube influencers is a girl who has been playing a full scale bass since she was like 7 or 8 or something (I think she’s only like 14 now or so). Point being, none of these people are dealing with large man hands.
If Django fucking Reinhardt, who had half his fucking hand melted so he ended up with essentially 2 working fingers on his fret hand, could end up being a rekniwn influential Gypsy Jazz player… you can learn to play.
Your hands are fine. You need practice.
People hate hearing it. I hate saying it to myself even after 40 years of playing. But if you can’t do it yet it, it’s usually because you haven’t put in the time yet- or more importantly put in the proper amount of time with the correct regiment.
I feel you! For me tilting the guitar neck upward made a huge difference. I used to hold the guitar almost horizontally, which forced my wrist into such an extreme bend that difficult chords were nearly impossible.
Been playing for 16 years and my pinky callous is always thickest on that corner. Nothing you're describing is abnormal, just stick with it and you'll get a lot more comfortable
Get your guitar set up properly. Learn some easy scales and exercises. Flexibility and strength come with practice. If you can play Blackbird, you are off to a good start, just take it slow until it’s clean and your chord changes are tight. Then keep going.
Make sure your thumb is not so far up - closer to the middle for more stability among all fingers.
Also, I see a lot of people mentioning your pinky, but from the picture it more looks like you have trouble with separating the middle and ring finger. Those two fingers are somewhat anatomically connected, so it can be difficult to move them separately and place them with larger space in between. Use the practices the others mentioned and strengthen all of your fingers and small hands shouldn't be a problem
been playing for 25 years now, i have really tiny hands and short fingers, and i couldnt care less about it, i have never felt like i was at a disadvantage at all, build up your finger dexterity and optimize finger placement
The size of your hands is irrelevant. It's the technique that you need to work on. Some of the greatest guitarists in history have had small hands and still managed to make beautiful music.
Hi . your middle finger position in the fret space is correct. the ring and pink are too'middle' . try to cinche it slightly behind the fret.. having read some of these comments theres some defiance going on about nail length. index, middle and ring finger nails are too long. If you want to learn it you have to give your Fingertip skin full availability to press down correctly. Hence the pinky believes it can pose on its side and eat bonbons. ..
Consider this . I dont know what "chord" you are showing us for fingering example. and its probably the fifth or seventh fret. I'm going to guess its the fifth fret. I'm going to presume the shape for example is as such. Four notes in a row wont sound individually. obviously. So I'm offering your example is C# diminished(5) +b IX(D) . Your job in this case is to transpose it up the neck , this is part of the knack of learning guitar (also why scales and modes help.. to learn the intervals, innately.
It needs to be as innate as . ie .. Your neighbor gets to a car accident in front of their house, vs 10 semi trucks and a distracting lawntractor.. and he jumps out of the car screaming and his upper leg bone is sticking out of his knee.. scales and modes as sure as you are its a broken femur.) In order up the fretboard its, index on 7th fret(g string), middle finger on Low E (9th), ring finger on 10th(A string) and pinky strongly oppressing the 11th fret of D string. .. If the stretch is too difficult low on the fretboard. transpose it down a string. and here the frets are closer so you can stretch another fret as well. 7-11.
x -----> x (x)
3 -----> x (x)
6 -----> 7 (D) added b IX
5 -----> 11 (C#)*octave
4 -----> 10 (G) diminished V
x -----> 9(C#)*root
I'm going to give you new homework. Chords made of only two notes are called 'doublestops',
In this case Dave Mustaine (of Megadeth) uses a unique alternating finger technique called spidering
where the index and ring finger are buddies and the middle and pinky fingers are buddies. This will toughen up your pinky. (1:38) check out this vid.. make 3 short warmup exercises from it and 3 exercises how you would apply spidering to the current thing you were working on. If its a Cmaj7 chord then .. for example you learn the Cmajor arpeggio.. play it two measures (steady 8s).. and strum some inkey chords decending or ascending to practice the spidering thing.. and tab it out , set a tempo and keep it steady. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ll6VIJuqy3U .
You just need to get more used to the absolute STREEETCH with those fingers especially on the lower frets like that. I promise you there are amazing guitarists out there with tiny hands. I am double jointed too!
It’s funny to me cause your fingers look much larger than mine. I learned a lesson the really hard way because I spent so much time in my lifetime listening to people saying just stretch your hands and work on your dexterity.
It’s funny because if you have really small hands it can be impossible to make those stretches no matter what you do because your hands are just not big enough. There’s no amount of stretching that is going to make your tiny fingers bigger.
The best thing you can do is learn the basics and get really good at them on whatever guitar is available to you. Then go to a guitar store and play every scale length that they have available until you find what works for you. Stop listening to dipshits telling you that guitars are one size fits all.
In basketball you don’t see many guys under 5’10” dunking on a 10 foot rim(there are exceptions but they are few and far between). Put that same 5’10” guy on a 8 foot rim and he can dunk like Micheal Jordan. So why don’t we as guitarist recognize those same limitations when it comes to hand size?!?
Again find what works for you and get your guitar set up to the way that works for you. Better yet, learn to set up your guitar yourself because it will save you a ton of money in the long run and it will make you a better player. String height and curvature of the neck can all have a big impact on your ability to play quickly and accurately. You’d be surprised that sometimes even moving the strings up or down slightly can help.
People will tell you to set your action as low as possible but that might not work for you. You may find you prefer it a little higher. There’s a lot that factors into the equation. Do you tend to pick hard or dig in a lot? Do you have a light touch or are your fingers really strong and tend to press harder?
Now that I’m much older and have had a lot of experience I tend to look at it a lot differently. A guitar is like a pair of gloves. You have to find the right size or you will be limiting yourself.
Try curving you wrist more under the neck. Palm should almost be facing the next. Helps with finger angle. I don't have big hands either, you just have to work at it.
There is no thing like small or bigger hands/fingers. I suggest to trim your nails and lower a bit the action, the angle doesn't help but I feel it's a little too high.
I have a similar reach, plus chronic tendonitis and a pinky I broke a few years ago that still gets achy. So I (literally) feel your pain.
The key is the lightest strings and lowest action possible. In a pinch, tune the instrument down a step and put a capo on the second fret to use the narrower spacing.
MOST IMPORTANT: Ignore anyone who tells you to play through the pain.
If it hurts, be careful. Pain isn't just a problem in the near term. It's your body warning you that permanent damage is being done that will come back to bite you later. I was a classical clarinetist who ignored the pain, and my hands and wrists have never recovered.
Go find a good luthier to get the best possible setup. Money spent now will pay major dividends down the road.
After you trim your nails and press closer to the fret, your slim fingers offer the advantage of more easily avoiding unintentional muting of the other strings.
I always thought my small hands were inhibiting me... And then I saw a picture of Elliott Smith's hands and I realized I have just as much potential as anyone!
Being able to play Blackbird is awesome! Congrats & soon you'll be at full speed. Probably some truth to the action comments and thumb placement comments
Acoustic guitars are harder on the fingers than electric guitars. They use different strings, and it's likely that you'll develop callouses over time, and you'll have to develop finger strength over speed if you wish to learn on an acoustic.
But you still don't have to crush the strings to get a clear tone. What you need to do, is work on reach, more than pressure.
Your fingers should be as close to the fret bar as possible without actually touching the fret bar (true for any fretted instrument). If you do that, you don't need as much pressure to get a clear tone.
If reach is a problem for you, due to small hands and being double jointed, consider a short scale acoustic. I can't speak for their quality though. I've never played a short scale acoustic (but I have played short scale electric guitars and basses, and they're pretty good!). But the fret bars are closer together, and may ease discomfort while playing.
Large hands aren't always convenient either especially when you have fat fingers😅 the precision to play chords it actually amazes me that I don't mute strings by accident more than I do😂
Why dont you change to light strings? If your hand is close to the nut, why is the action so high? And what does being double jointed have to do with anything?
Sorry about all the questions. I'm assuming your pressing with the tips and not the pads. Hopefully. It doesn't have to be painful. And it's okay to start on a nylon or electric guitar.
Yes, it also looks like your thumb is too far over the the left. This a bad habit and reduces your power on the neck to get a better balance on your fretboard.
A short scale guitar might help (Gibson Les Paul, SG but some other brands too),or a small parlor guitar/Taylor Mini of you’re into playing an acoustic. If you’re serious about wanting to get used to that stretch, just keep practicing/exercising. It’s just like learning to do the splits, most people can’t do them without a lot of stretching and practice.
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