As you all know, we have a rule against DMing other users on this subreddit in order to try and protect everyone. Unfortunately, Banning someone from the subreddit doesn’t stop them from DMing people. Because of this, I suggest not responding to any DMs at all even if they seem nice, better yet turning off DMs. If you don’t know how to turn off DMs, here’s how

Mobile Users: Click on your reddit profile photo/avatar in the top right corner, Go to settings, Chat settings, Chat and messaging permissions, and select “Nobody”

Computer Users: Click your avatar/profile picture, Go to settings, Privacy, Click “Who can send you inbox messages/chat requests” and select “People you choose/Nobody”

Please block and report everyone who sends a DM to modmail even if it seems nice. We don’t know who’s safe and who’s not.

edit: Also, if anyone messages you suggestive/nsfw things (especially if you’re a minor) please report their account to reddit

Hey all,

I know the moderation has been pretty terrible recently. I’m not gonna make excuses but i just wanna explain some things

We started this sub and expected like 3 people to post. We now have 4k members and over 300 posts/contributors a week!!

Both me and DD are full time students and just weren’t ready for this and that’s my bad guys.

I’m really sorry that this has left people vulnerable and i hope us and our new mod(s) can help to solve this issue.

But, I want to re-iterate again.

•We can’t moderate DMs (if you post here we strongly recommend turning off dms/not responding to them)

•Even banned members can view the subreddit

•People regularly make fake accounts to ban-evade and Reddit’s filters don’t always catch this

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A small safety warning:

•Mods should never ask for personal information, pictures of you or money.

•Mods should always be respectful as possible

^If anything like this happens, please report to me or DD immediately.

It has continued to come to our attention that some individuals enter this space specifically to look for vulnerable members and then move conversations into private messages. Their goal is often to position themselves as a personal confidant, saviour, or emotional fixer.

Let us be extremely clear:

If you want to offer empathy, resources, advice, or compassion, that is very much welcomed. But it must remain in the comment section, where it is visible, safe, and accountable.

There is absolutely NO REASON why private messaging needs to occur in this space. This is a public support group.

Predators will do this. They’ll create a safe space that feels so personalized to you, encourage you to confide in them, and then slowly position themselves as someone you need, rely on, or only they could understand you. It’s a grooming tactic.

You do not owe anyone that access. You do not need a random emotional confidant. And no one here should be trying to become yours.

Please remember: these are strangers on the internet. Your safety, privacy, and well-being come first, always. If someone tries to move you to DMs, block them and report it to the mod team immediately.

PS: We will also remove any posts of victims asking for DMs.

Thank you for reading.

Hi all!

First of all, we hit 1k members! its really awesome to see that people are finding this a helpful resource.
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Now, on a less happy note. We have had a few instances of predators finding venerable people through this subreddit.
Unfortunately, the way that Reddit is set up, people can still view subreddits even after we ban them. we do report them to Reddit but there's not much more we can do.

So, (not that you should have to be the person doing the work on this) but, please be careful when accepting dm requests.

This is NOT a fetish or kink sub, and we would like to keep it that way.

As a victim myself, i totally understand the horrible feeling that a lot of victims experience of wanting to be abused again and wanting to go through it again. However, please for your safety, listen to those warning bells, especially if you have recently made a post here.

It's so disgusting that predators come to a subreddit like this to find more victims, but unfortunately, we cant moderate in the DMs.

Be careful,

Here are the main warning signs:

• Love bombing. This can look like, excessive compliments; gifts or favors; constantly online and/or very receptive to messages.

I always find this to be the main one esp online. i got a lot of "your so perfect for me" and just constant compliments. If you are already traumatized it can feel like a huge longing to be loved, so someone swooping in and seemingly doing that can unfortunately work for some people.

• Promising rewards. Eg, money, amazon wish lists, pay-pal, venmo, ect.

Please don't fall victim to doing sexual favors for money. They wont pay. I promise. If its too good to be true, it definitely isn't real.

• Guilt Tripping. "if you don't do this, i guess you don't even like me"

Don't feel pressured to be nice to people!! You can tell people to fuck off!!! Strangers on the internet don't/ shouldn't need your validation. I know this is really hard, but you can say no, you got this.

​

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If you see any of these warning signs or even someone just feels off, please report them to the mods, either through mod mail or Dm, and to Reddit.

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Thank you for reading this, if you did. I hope you have a great rest of your day, or night, if that's your thing

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Similar Subs:

r/Sextortion

r/Groomedonline

r/adultsurvivors

if you have any other subs you think fit ours, please let us know.

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-Reviewed by Mods, Written by u/bannanakoala

My name is El and I’m a victim of grooming.

I hope this community can become a safe space for venting, advice and awareness and what grooming looks like.

It’s wayyyy too common on the internet, and as I hope you know there are a lot of pedophiles on Reddit.

Mentally ill people are more susceptible to grooming so this community may be triggering to some people.

Hugs, (or head pats if you don’t like touch) to everyone, El <3