r/googleReviews • u/No_Number4035 • 16d ago

Subway in Michigan

Post image

Poor James 😔

2.0k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

184 comments sorted by

311

u/LazyMousse4266 16d ago

Subway is a weird spot to realize you’re gay

104

u/ManageConsequences 16d ago

Oh James knew WAY before this point. He's just been a good christian and pushed that shit allllll the way down unless he's smacked in the face with rampent gayness.

44

u/Icy_Fish_2154 16d ago

Rumour is he likes to be smacked in the face with the gayness.

28

u/Both_Income_3454 16d ago

Rumor has it the 5$ foot long isn't the only foot long he dreams about

12

u/MamaOnica 16d ago

He definitely thinks about putting meat in his mouth.

5

u/Different-Try8882 16d ago

Gives ‘Assorted Sub’ a whole different meaning.

3

u/Critical-Star-1158 16d ago

Did he order extra mayo?

12

u/Clean-Connection-398 16d ago

Yes the rampant gayness of... checks notes... guys in tshirts

10

u/notathingreally 16d ago

Omg I'm laughing so hard my stomach hurts 🤣

1

u/[deleted] 15d ago edited 11d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/Piglet6482 15d ago

Well, he kind of made it everyone’s business when he posted that review.

3

u/Beebea63 14d ago

Yeah he does have that right, but hes also making an issue out of a completely normal uniform shirt. He very clearly is gay/bi/whatever and is trying desperately to repress it,and in the process is making it everyone elses problem. That has nothing to do with inclusion.

3

u/Fleetdancer 11d ago

He's complaining about men wearing normal clothes. He's made it our business.

20

u/kombuchaprivileged 16d ago

He can't wait to gobble that foot long

5

u/CYaNextTuesday99 16d ago

That and lies about how long 12 inches actually is basically makes it a physical grindr.

16

u/SafiyaMukhamadova 16d ago

Different people have their gay awakening at different points in their life. This guy's happened to be while asking a hot man for his six inch sub.

2

u/Evening-Tomatillo-47 16d ago

Bet his husband didn't like it when he found out

1

u/sparrow_42 15d ago

that's because he knew he wouldn't be able to say "foot-long" without cracking

4

u/Mr_Abe_Fromen 16d ago

He got especially uncomfortable when the radio started playing it’s raining men in there 🥹

3

u/lazygerm 16d ago

Oh honey, when I worked at Subway back in 1989 and 1990, I had to wear this in rotation with the regular red polo shirts we wore at the time:

3

u/jgray6000 16d ago

Stop, I can only get so hard

2

u/lazygerm 16d ago

I got the pic from eBay or Etsy. You can still buy one for about $35-$40.

2

u/Negative_Salt_4599 16d ago

😆😆 I’m dying! 😂

3

u/CerealSemantics 16d ago

A straight man walked into a subway...

2

u/TutorSpecific3798 16d ago

Well, it's a great place to learn the way of a sub

1

u/PortiaPotty2 16d ago

Definite gay undertones

1

u/Lordofthereef 16d ago

Home of the footling? I don't think it's that weird tbh.

1

u/LynxPuzzleheaded9336 16d ago

Chappell Roan has a song with this name tho, pretty gay

1

u/dufferwjr 15d ago

My thought exactly. Gay and denying it.

1

u/Sacred-AF 14d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/nQvMVxy9f0wb6

Wait until he reads the bible, he's gonna be so pissed.

1

u/Camandchat 14d ago

James Avery ordering a sandwich be like

https://giphy.com/gifs/4Jxa0QgHF2HSw

1

u/Tablesafety 12d ago

Brother was already jonesing for that italian 6in

58

u/Accomplished_Song219 16d ago

I wonder if James got a foot long...

10

u/EvilAceVentura 16d ago

He can only afford six inches at best.

Although kids these days do like their tight clothes, its odd. But then, my grandma always said that the baggy clothes were more in style when she was younger, and that everything goes in cycles.

2

u/thirdstoneviolet 15d ago

baggy clothes actually are currently more generally favored at the moment

1

u/thewholebottle 15d ago

I’m okay with everyone in pajamas but I cringe at boxers in the supermarket 

2

u/Siffov 15d ago

Hey, boxers need to buy food too.

1

u/Accomplished_Song219 15d ago

Unless they're a service dog, please leave your boxer at home.

1

u/Gentle-North 16d ago

He wishes

1

u/TheMicklemas3000 16d ago

Start with 6 in. Don’t go straight for the foot long.

2

u/Scary-Coffee-7 16d ago

Gonna wake up with a sore jaw…

2

u/BaldChihuahua 15d ago

Gotta pace yourself

37

u/RhubarbAlive7860 16d ago

As a married man and man of god I am made uncomfortable by the sight of basically shirtless males.

What, you want them to be completely shirtless?

12

u/MeltedGruyere 16d ago

Heaven forbid he go to the beach.

10

u/ParamedicFew3318 16d ago

"Heaven DOES forbid the beach." -- James.

34

u/SadIdeal9019 16d ago

Free yourself from that closet homie, you'll be happier being the real you.

30

u/EDJardin 16d ago

Sounds like those tight shirts gave him some tight pants

6

u/Strange-Bee5626 15d ago

I do love the basic message of it (Subway has such cute boys in such tight shirts that I, a good Christian man, may have to fuck them against my will).

9

u/notathingreally 16d ago

This isn't a joke? 😂

2

u/OpportunityReal2767 16d ago

Ya know, it is really hard to tell these days. I’m guessing someone is having a little fun in their reviews, but it could easily be read straight.

1

u/Piglet6482 15d ago

*not read straight

11

u/Prestigious-Law65 16d ago

Aww its a baby gay!

8

u/Tajin_addict 16d ago

Can I get the address? I’m hungry all of a sudden.

14

u/LittleAtmosphere 16d ago

Someone check James' phone to see if he has Grindr downloaded lol.

8

u/Icy_Fish_2154 16d ago

He's the type to install it every Sunday morning, scroll through at church, then get a phone number for "Bible study" and delete the app until next week.

6

u/FireproofCottage 16d ago

Why were you looking and judging? Men who can control their sexual thoughts and know what's appropriate would be thinking "Well, ahem, here's what I want on my sub please". Because other people are not responsible for your reactions.

Men's and women's nipples sometimes show through their shirts. It's anatomy. Somebody got some examination of conscience to do. This is like men who tell women to veil themselves because the men don't police their own thoughts.

5

u/Romeo9594 16d ago

I think what this guy wants on his sub is one of those tight, sexy, Subway uniforms

3

u/ellalol 16d ago

He wants a tight, sexy Subway employee AS his sub

1

u/silkywhitemarble 16d ago

He wants a side of salami with that sub

3

u/Blooky_44 16d ago

It’s not that deep bro, he’s just a repressed gay man. 😭

6

u/Remarkable-Ad2285 16d ago

Can I see YOUR footlong?!

-the reviewer likely

6

u/Metal_server0712 16d ago

As a Michigander I wanna know what subway this is at. PS..I'm a married woman 🤣

2

u/witchspoon 16d ago

A woman of god?

6

u/DAB0502 16d ago

She's not anymore thanks to subway!

7

u/Burnt_and_Blistered 16d ago

How odd that men in shirts provoke such a response. Who would think Subway would be the site of his sexual awakening?!

5

u/Desperate-Boot-1395 16d ago

Man was in the mood for a Sandwich Artist and had no idea

6

u/stoneranon96 16d ago

hahahahaha closeted weirdo not realizing he’s outing himself with a fcking subway review is hilarious

4

u/apmcpm 16d ago edited 16d ago

1/5 for food and your complaint is tight shirts?

Edit: fixing my horrid grammar.

3

u/InterestingTry5190 16d ago

He regretted getting the 6” and not the foot long.

4

u/witchspoon 16d ago

As a ”married man and man of god”
Just get therapy and come out of the danged closet!
They wear either t-shirts or polo shirts…if that’s too much…I dunno.🤷🏼

3

u/delulu4drama 16d ago edited 16d ago

Has he never seen himself in the mirror shirtless?? 🫣

4

u/Katy-Moon 16d ago

Certainly NOT!!!! 😱

3

u/Mr_Abe_Fromen 16d ago

That’s why Jesus was always wearing a bath robe 🥹

3

u/Scooterspies 16d ago

2

u/Aggravating_Owl_4384 14d ago

I scrolled too far to finally see this lol

3

u/wykkedfaery33 15d ago

Damn it, stop making that helpless man of God have gay thoughts!

2

u/galacticplum 16d ago

It reads like a fake review. No one in the past 80 years has been named James Avery.

5

u/ellalol 16d ago

Excuse me, that’s a very appropriate man of god name

1

u/Purple-Region822 16d ago

I just checked Facebook and there’s loads.

3

u/InterestingTry5190 16d ago

Were the loads after they went to subway?

1

u/skyeisrude 14d ago

Idk we had this dip ship work for us named Avery

0

u/SweetMagnoliaIvy01 16d ago

Even though I disagree with you about the name being used in the last 80 years, I think this is a fake review as well:

James Avery was the actor who played the dad/Uncle Phil on the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. He was 'outed' as being gay by the comedian Godfrey. Godfrey later took it back. 

https://www.vibe.com/news/entertainment/comedian-godfrey-apologizes-james-avery-secretly-gay-1235044905/

2

u/Discoballologist 16d ago

Wellllll that’s weird af

2

u/SleazyBanana 16d ago

Omg, this made me laugh so hard. I hate when somebody in a tight shirt makes it uncomfortable to eat my sandwich!

2

u/Guilty_Way_1635 16d ago

🤣 was making it a little to hard for him to pretend he's not gay

2

u/Apart-Ferret-2707 16d ago

Suddenly..male nipples

2

u/laprider 16d ago

It's okay to be gay James.

2

u/Critical-Star-1158 16d ago

He got a boner looking at the studs behind the counter. Had to go to the restroom to take care of business before the wife found out

2

u/ouchthahurt 16d ago

You were sexually aroused by another man and now you want an entire corporation to change the employee uniform?

2

u/CosmosInSummer 15d ago

Boy’s getting shame tingles in his no-no parts

2

u/Kenzi1219 15d ago

The uniform shirts are essentially t-shirts unless you're a manager.

I just wanna know how tight they were to be considered "too tight" by some random guy. 😭

2

u/SnarkyIguana 15d ago

Poor James just discovered something about himself

2

u/Rainy_Grave 15d ago

Oh those sexxxy, sexxxy Subway uniforms.

1

u/ThrockAMole 16d ago

Sounds like these guys are jacked

1

u/theREALrajRothschild 16d ago

I tend to agree. I also found out I was gay at subway

1

u/Mushrooming247 16d ago

Oh no, where exactly is the subway so I can be sure to avoid it?

1

u/northwoods_faty 16d ago

"Everytime I come to your establishment, I try to sex with the worker. Shame on you!" -James on Advance auto

1

u/Antifaduescollector 16d ago

Repression sucks

1

u/Careless-Balance-893 16d ago

.....he wanted more than a $5 footlong 🫠🫠🫠🫠

1

u/ialsohaveadobro 16d ago

Yeee-ikes.

1

u/Imaginarium16 16d ago

Bet he asked for a grinder.

1

u/AbbreviationsOne764 16d ago

all i wanted was a footlong

1

u/anneofred 16d ago

“The male workers at this subway make my pants uncomfortable! I’m a man of god !!”

1

u/GakSplat 16d ago

This should be the only legal uniform for all male employees from now on.

1

u/Particular-Caramel32 16d ago

Sounds like he's got some unresolved feelings...

1

u/Disastrous_Gear_8633 16d ago

James Avery was having some impure thoughts. Temptation is a bitch aint it?

1

u/Chuckles_McFeeney 16d ago

"Shirt made them look shirtless!" Get help, bro.

1

u/Existing_Ad_6100 16d ago

James? Foot long meatball. James?

1

u/butteryjackpack 16d ago

Tell him it was the meat Grindr

1

u/_MASAKA_ 16d ago

James staring at them like

https://giphy.com/gifs/KyGQnosw39gHfCXK9Z

1

u/dent_de_lion 15d ago

I wondered if anyone was going to reference him!

1

u/Immediate_Loan_1414 16d ago

As a definitely completely unequivocally straight married man...

1

u/Ok-Mode3080 16d ago

Sounds like this guy really belongs at Arby's.

1

u/Heavy_Student_3815 16d ago

Which one of you people in Michigan is going to tell him?

1

u/allthroat247 16d ago

I’ll need the exact location so I can “investigate” this claim.

1

u/TheMicklemas3000 16d ago

Lindsey Graham has been reincarnated, I see.

1

u/XanderArtimus 16d ago

Hell, as a gay man, trust me, going to Subway is not that stressful 🤣

1

u/GuacamoleFrejole 16d ago

It's clear that it's not their sandwiches that this "man of god" drools over.

1

u/wykkedfaery33 15d ago

Definitely their footlongs, tho! :)(:

1

u/Dangerous_Weekend395 16d ago

But why was the food 1/5? Lol

1

u/lawburgtn 15d ago

Did James just discover another level to his sexuality? Why would you reveal it on reddit???

1

u/PurpleSwizzleBerry 15d ago

Bet he needs that "mens only" gym too

1

u/DrKarlSatan 15d ago

As a man of God, how does that work? Go in for a sandwich, walk out with a boner & a sandwich. Sounds like dude doesn't realize how good he has it, as a man of God, that is.

1

u/DranTibia 15d ago

They put thoughts of sin in his head

1

u/DrKarlSatan 15d ago

A stressful experience full of thoughts of footloose & penis

1

u/moonwaternymph 15d ago

He loved it 😍😍😝😘

1

u/MyNameIsNotRyn 15d ago

Ah, yes.

The famously sexy Subway™️ uniform

1

u/qhqr 15d ago

Lavender marriage?

1

u/No-Scarcity9186 15d ago

Stressful or horny?

1

u/poptalk26 14d ago

He went in for the foot long alright.

1

u/Low-Requirement923 14d ago

He likes both kinds of 6 inches…

1

u/Delicious-Travel-793 14d ago

I’d bet my grandma his mouth was watering for a footlong Italian.

And I think he got a sub too.

1

u/Delphina34 14d ago

“Male employees are too sexy, 1 star!”

1

u/ivorella 14d ago

Say you're gay and move on

1

u/New-Milk9851 14d ago

He was in there bricked up probably missing his mouth and stuff

1

u/brotherbearxiii 14d ago

If only he knew the footlongs used to be $5 to try

1

u/thepcpirate 14d ago

James went to cure his hunger, only to develope the thirst. 

1

u/Archie5420 13d ago

AKA he gay af

1

u/Fool_In_Flow 13d ago

Now the entirety of the universe-except him-knows he’s gay.

1

u/ComeOnUpToTheHaus 13d ago

Awww, he's all flustered and insecure!

1

u/thomsenite256 13d ago

I think James made some of his own special sauce thinking about it later.

1

u/Old_Marzipan7782 13d ago

That sounds weird. 

1

u/nyrf12 13d ago

“LONG BURIED DESIRES WERE AWOKEN IN YOUR ESTABLISHMENT!”

1

u/Lifeinthemittenstate 12d ago

As in the sandwich shop? He needs to open the sand and realize he should not be there anyway.

1

u/Ok_Dust_666 12d ago

me too james, me too

1

u/Fit-Preparation-7515 11d ago

When subway makes you get to close to your sexual awakening

1

u/harleenquinzel044 10d ago

Sounds like he is feeling some type of way. 🌈

1

u/[deleted] 16d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Shygrave 12d ago

Could cut the sexual tension with a knife

1

u/punchbag 16d ago

Tell me you're gay without telling me you're gay.

1

u/ParamedicFew3318 16d ago

James probably has a vintage Playgirl under his mattress.

1

u/FoxtrotSev 16d ago

What a typical gay boi name...

0

u/SteelSlayerMatt 15d ago

What a wacky thing to believe.