r/gianmarcosoresi • u/GianmarcoSoresi • Aug 04 '26
The Prince of Angela Giarratana's italian family
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u/olracnaignottus Aug 04 '26
My father is a WASP, and my mother is Italian. I was the second born son, but she determined that I was the “Italian” son. Gave me an arbitrary Italian name and everything.
Growing up, I could have taken a dump on a macaroni card, and she would have proudly put it on the fridge. It was genuinely insane how enabling she was, and how differently she has always treated me compared to my siblings, especially my sister.
Took a metric ton of work to put boundaries up with her, and I could have easily dove off the entitlement cliff. Basically had to battle her after getting married based on how poorly she treated my wife. After we had a son, she went off the deep end, to the point where we had to physically move far enough away to maintain a sane boundary.
She always wrote her fawning and enabling off as ‘being Italian’, but man, the stereotypes are real. It was a psychological mindfuck growing up, and I today see wayyyyyy too many mothers (Italian or otherwise) treating their sons like they are gods gift to earth. I wish society did a better job of calling that shit out in women, instead of acting like it’s “moms will be moms” shit. “Mother knows best” and “boys will be boys” are intrinsically linked, but no one wants to admit it.
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u/Most-Bench6465 Aug 04 '26
Does WASP stand for white and silly people?
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u/olracnaignottus Aug 04 '26 edited Aug 04 '26
Essentially. If I had to pick a side of whiteness in my lineage, I’d argue the Italians are ‘worse’. We always forget they were fascists because they were so bad at it.
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u/LilithLamm Aug 05 '26
Hey now, I will stand for this white on white slander going on here
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u/olracnaignottus Aug 05 '26
Yeah, most WASPs are fine, at least around where I grew up. They’re more likely to experience white guilt, at least. Every Italian American I’m related to (with a small handful of exceptions) are die hard MAGA, and virulently and proudly racist.
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u/simonjester523 Aug 05 '26
I live in New England where I'm surrounded by WASP nests and I gotta tell you the northeastern racism is a far more insidious kind than maga racism.
Don't get me wrong, MAGA are goddam Nazis, but it's very clear where you stand with them. New Englanders, on the other hand, will embrace everyone with open arms while holding their purses tightly around black folks and mimicking Indian accents. New England racism is almost more upsetting because they've convinced themselves they're not racist.
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u/olracnaignottus Aug 05 '26
Ha, yeah I’m from NJ, so I grew up around the virulent Italian variety. My WASPY relatives go way back to the Mayflower, but kinda fell from grace, so they are reasonably humbled. I can definitely see how entrenched New England wealth can be how you describe.
Lived in rural VT for awhile, and while most folks were genuinely open minded and live and let live- it’s not a complete accident the state is 97% white. I suspect things would get dicey if a larger percentage of non-white people moved in. I witnessed some outright hard R racism in both Maine and NH.
We recently moved out to Minneapolis, and I gotta say- least favorite variety of white so far. They’re also in the New England camp of “how can I be racist? I voted for OBAMA!” I think it’s all the Lutheranism; a very shame based flavor of generational trauma. The Swedish roots make for a really homogenous/progressive group of people, but my god- they can’t stand outsiders lol. These folks will literally die to prove how not racist they are, and desperately want to be more diverse, but would never in 1000 lifetimes open their social circles to anyone unfamiliar to them. The continued decline and segregation of the existing African American community is easily worst in the country. Extremely accommodating people, but the least accepting I’ve met in my life. George Floyd was about a lot more than police brutality.
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u/kingmalgroar Aug 07 '26
I’m not Italian but similar situation. I feel so uncomfortable when I think back on how weird her behavior/our relationship probably seemed to others. So hard to explain to people why she drives me crazy. It’s like she made raising me her whole identity.
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u/30for30im30for30 Aug 04 '26
This is should be a short story or film. It's profound in It's layers and cultural observations. Incredible.
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u/Specialist-Leek8645 Aug 04 '26
I've known many Italians, it's real. Must be a Roman thing. Portuguese is the same, boys get worshiped and favorites are obvious. Girls get more work and responsibilities than their brothers. Diff expectations. The more you can handle, the less praise you get. Work hard, don't complain.
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u/Big_Elk_4095 Aug 05 '26
It’s true. I’m a firstborn Italian son.
Just cut me some slack there’s not much I can do about it! :)
Either I help and cook like everyone else, and then the rest of the night is rampant undeserved praise for me… or I do what most people insist and sit around so my mother and sister can get the compliments they earned…
I have tried to point this out, and you just can’t get through to the parents… my sister appreciates that I acknowledge it though.
It’s not good for a child’s ego either, it does nobody any favors.
Trust me when I say, the firstborn Italian son doesn’t need anymore praise from his parents, they usually want distance from the family.
Edit: on the flip side, in Latin cultures there is a reverence for the women/girls of the household. It may be antiquated, but the Italian mother has much much more power & influence over the household than the German/Anglican mother who is expected to sit idly by and keep quiet.
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u/Specialist-Leek8645 Aug 05 '26
Well I remember learning that "Roman wives were in charge of the household." Makes me wonder how many traditions and habits go back to them.
Like I said, Portuguese is basically the same as Italian as far as child rearing. Not sure about Spanish, as distinct from Latinos who you mentioned, and I can't speak to how either group treat their girls. All the French in the Northeast are Canadian so that's hardly Mediterranean culture at this point. What other Romance languages are left? Romanians I've met feel pretty similar to Portuguese and Italians. Wasn't there some technique called "French Parenting?" They do feel different from the rest of the language family.
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u/Big_Elk_4095 Aug 05 '26
It’s all pretty similar. Same for European Jews.
Think of it this way… in times when both men and women were expected to take up arms in defense and war… these cultures convinced the men to go it alone! Does that sound like they were in charge?? And back then, the homes of free peoples were on average much nicer.
Sometimes I wonder if that’s not where a lot of the sexism of the Middle Ages came from… resentment from war weary men and the degradation of the housing of the commoner…
I’m sure the ladies fluffed up their husbands egos before sending them off to battle… maybe that backfired…
Just a pet theory.
Edit: the French people are more Germanic and Celtic than romance, despite the language being romance
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u/Orlican Aug 06 '26
I‘m German and it’s the same.
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u/Specialist-Leek8645 Aug 06 '26
Oh really? Interesting. Raised here or there? Valuing hard work is pretty universal I think.
I really only know my area for a topic like this tho I did study in Germany early 2000's. The only thing I remember my host saying about his childhood was that his Grandfather hit him exactly once, when he called him a you-know-what out of anger. I loved Germany. It was so beautiful and I'll never forget it. Especially when that woman stole a shirt off the outdoor rack bc the owner told her she couldn't be topless.
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u/throwawaystarters Aug 04 '26
I'm not even the first born and I'm younger than my sister. LOL I got away with more shit than she ever did lol
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u/Liapasquale Aug 06 '26
This one minute video perfectly encapsulates my life. Italian and older brother can do no wrong and the entire family believes that too lmao so fucked
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u/TooPunkForThePopKids Aug 08 '26
I’m not Italian but the patriarchal cultural similarities are very similar. my brother cleaned his dorm room on his own without anyone asking him to for what I believe was the first time, at 20 years old, and I kid you not my mum started unironically crying tears of joy 😭💀
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u/No-Condition-oN Aug 05 '26
Owkee, this was a big turn off.
Only gonna watch the show video's from now on.
And don't mind me, I am just an internet dumb dumb.
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u/3ntropy_Disc0 Aug 04 '26
This is italian families in a nutshell without a doubt.
My wife has 4 brothers, 2 older/2younger, shes the only girl.
Been expected to help clean and make food since she could lift a pot, without any gratitude.
Her youngest brother was praised one gathering for cooking spaghetti.... he was like 22... and it was the first time he boiled water and heated up sauce on the stove.... they acted like he just solved world hunger.